Thank you to anticlimactic for the new cover! I adore it so much! 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to a presence.

My eyelids fluttered open. I gazed at the floor length window to my right. Sunlight cascaded onto the maroon carpet below. I could hear the soft chirping of the birds outside. My body seemed to have healed itself somewhat, no immediate reminders of the pain plagued me. I turned my face to the left, my heart leaping to my chest.

Grayson.

His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling softly. His dark, long lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. His brown hair tumbling onto his forehead.

I moved closer to him, burying my face in his chest and breathing in his scent. My stomach clenched in nervousness. He was here. I was home.

He stirred and I whispered softly against his chest, "How did you find me?"

He was quiet. His hands reached for me and pulled me close. He stroked my back gently, placing his chin on the top of my head before answering. "I really didn't think there was any other place you'd go to."

My heart somersaulted at his familiar, deep, sexy voice. I could feel the tremors of the sound against his chest. I shut my eyes, silently listening to his heartbeat.

"Are you mad at me?"

He didn't answer right away. "Yes."

I sighed and lifted my face up to look at him, "I...I'm sorry. I...I didn't realize-"

He sighed and turned his face away from me, gazing up at the ceiling. "Victoria wants to try again. She asked me to move back in with her."

I felt like an invisible sword had impaled me.

"She says being...so close to death gave her a new perspective," He sighed softly, shutting his eyes, "She said it was a mistake. That...she was sorry. For everything."

I waited for him to continue. But he didn't. My heart ripped into pieces. White hot agony ravaging me. A deep chasm expanding uncontrolled in my chest.

I moved away from him. He half glanced at me but didn't move closer, something that crushed me more. We lay silently. The only sound that of his breathing. I felt like an invisible wall had suddenly sprung up between us. I gazed at him. He was too perfect. Too good. Too patient.

"She said...she wants to start a family again."

He could have reached down my throat and twisted my heart. The effect his words had on me were worse.

I rose to my feet slowly, reaching for the clothes that Scarlett had left at the foot of my bed. I pulled them on as fast as I could, my fingers numb. Normally I would love for him to see my naked body. Because of the way he complimented me. Desired me. At that moment, I couldn't think of a worse situation.

My body trembled. I had been ready for this ever since I saw their intertwined fingers. I knew I could give him nothing. She was older. More mature. She could give him a family.

In contrast I was a broke, immature, ex- spy with no qualifications who had just tried to cheat on him.

He gazed at me as I pulled on the clothes. I took a step away from the bed as he sat up straight. I looked at his disheveled hair, his startling eyes, his lips. He was brave. Kind. He was a vision in every single way. A vision so out of my league that I now felt like an idiot for ever trying to reach for him. My voice sounded strangled when I spoke.

"I'll move out by this weekend."

I started making my way towards the door. I didn't know where I was going or what I was saying. I just knew I couldn't be there any longer.

"Xavier? Why...why would you do that?"

The dread and hesitation in his voice made me stop in my tracks. I turned around to look at him, slowly. "I...if you want to get back with her, I'm not going to stand in your way Grayson. I love you too much for that."

He raised his eyebrows slightly as I continued. I wouldn't make him be the one to break up with me. "I can understand. You've known her for over a decade. You've... tried to have a family together. I..." I gulped, my lungs threatening to implode, "I have nothing to offer you Gray. Except myself."

His eyes flashed. Was it relief?

"I had all of that with her Xaby," My heart wrenched when he used the nick name he had given him. Exclusive. "Had," He shook his head, "She was my past. But I chose you to be my future. Forever."

My throat choked from forming tears as I shook my head and continued adamantly, "I...I saw you with her Gray. She...held your hand and...you didn't say anything."

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I was comforting her," He shook his head, looking agonized, "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was angry. But it doesn't mean I fucking stopped loving you. How fucking intelligent and stupid can you be at the same damn time?"

I was quiet. I averted his eyes and gazed determinedly at my bare feet instead. I was mildly surprised and wondered where my shoes had gone. His words were making my heart flutter with wretched hope.

I detested hope.

"If you had waited...if you had trusted my love a single ounce-"

I sucked in a breath, "I trust y-"

He silenced me with just a look. His jaw clenched. He got to his feet and walked towards me. His eyes severe. "Then you would have heard my response."

I gazed up at him, my heart fluttering nervously, threatening to burst out of my chest. "Res...ponse?"

My words ended in a whisper. He placed his warm hand on my face, stroking my bottom lip. His eyes bore into mine as he spoke softly. "I didn't even consider her offer for a nanosecond Xavier. It was never an option. She was never an option ever since you came into my life."

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. He tilted my face up towards him. "I don't want anything else Xavier. You are enough for me. Even if..." He chuckled softly, "Sometimes you do really really really dumb things. There is no way I'll ever not forgive you. Not be with you."

In that moment, all my scars healed.

He gazed at me steadily, leaning towards me as his lips found mine. He pulled me closer to him and led me towards the bed, his mouth moving in tandem to mine. He pushed me gently onto the mattress and got on top of me. His hands pinned me to the mattress as his tongue entered my mouth, exploring it eagerly. Passionately. It set my body on fire.

He moved slightly and I gasped in pain as his hand touched my bruised chest. He broke the kiss immediately, leaning back, his eyes laced with worry. "Are you hurt?"

My heart lurched. I could never understand.

I could never understand how he read each hitch of my breath. How he even knew I was hurt from the inconspicuous gasp. I could never get used to how much attention he paid to me. How he never ordered pizza with toppings. How he never played songs I hated. How when I fell asleep on the couch while reading, I always woke up to find him dozing on the floor next to me. How he never put mayonnaise in my sandwiches. How he never watched romantic comedies that were too utopian for my taste. He was everything I never deserved.

In every little thing, in every little way, Grayson expressed how much he loved me. Cherished me. My heart ached with the intensity of my love for him. Like I wanted to give him everything, even though he was all I had.

I shook my head, "Just... A litt-" I winced horribly when he pressed gently on my chest again. His eyes widened.

"Xaby?" He leaned back, his hands reached for the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it upwards. I lay stock still as his eyes roved over my naked skin. His eyes darkened. "Is it from yesterday?"

I bit my lip. I didn't know what to tell him. If I did tell him about the attack he would be worried. But I didn't want to lie to him. "I...fell."

Technically I wasn't lying.

"On a very blunt object? Possibly an elbow or knee?" He asked, studying the bruise and then looking back at me. His eyes narrowed as he gazed at me, "Xavier, I swear if you're lying to me-"

I sighed and got up slowly to a seating position. He reached for my t-shirt and removed it, leaving my torso bare. His eyes widened when he took in my injuries. "Xaby?"

He sounded pained as he leaned forward and gently stroked my arm where the graze mark had started fading. "What...what happened love?"

I sighed softly, "I...can I tell you when we're home?" I pulled the t-shirt back on, "Please."

He nodded and we left the apartment. I thanked Scarlett and bid her goodbye before we were back in Grayson's car. I sat quietly, gazing at the street ahead. It was late morning and it wasn't very busy outside.

I was aware of him shooting me worried glances again and again, his hand reaching out to touch my knee, squeeze my thigh or my hand again and again. As if reassuring that I was safe.

I went to our bedroom and sat on the bed, calling for him. If I was going to tell him about something that made me shudder,I wanted to have his arms around me.

I didn't want to tell him about it because I was afraid of how he would react. Ever since my near fatal stint at the hospital a few months ago and Grayson's attack on his superior, it was clear that when it came to me, he become much more defensive and violent. I was thankful that he felt protective of me. But I was used to endure random attacks and assaults. Given my sexual orientation, people had tried to take advantage many a times. I didn't want to pull him with me into the shit hole that my life was.

I snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around me, and in that moment, I felt like I was safe. I took in a deep breath, his intoxicating senses lulling me into comfort.

I began to tell him everything.