thursday
2nd july 2020
11:33 pm

my best friend is leaving the country in a little less than two months.

he has made the choice to study his bachelor's in a country other than pakistan, and while he had told me about it beforehand, it was not until two days ago that he mentioned it again-in passing-and the magnanimity of the situation really hit me.

i got to know him during my second (last) year of college, even though we'd been classmates long before that. he needed someone to confide in, to talk about his turmoils with. we were acquainted through a few mutual friends of ours, and the rest is history.

you can meet somebody tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you've known forever-time means nothing. i completely agree with this statement, because he did too. in just a matter of a couple of months, i felt so trusting of him, i just knew keh ye banda mera maan rakhega.

and he did.

from paying for my Ubers to handing me his wallet to spend how much ever I wanted for lunch, from coming through with important class notes i missed to speaking up for me when i was bullied, and from making sure i got into Ubers safely to sitting by me quietly while i cried my heart out, he has been there for me in every sense of the word. he assured me he would be by my side like my own blood brother, and he has.

even though i have not seen him in months, i was still somehow always comforted by the fact that he was in the same city as me, and if ever i'm in a tough spot, he'll help me. like he always has. just the thought of him being millions of miles away, it tears me apart.

even though he has said he will be there for me, he won't. him and i both know he won't.

he has been an amazing brother, friend, confidante, i'm shaken by how little time we actually spent together.

and yes, i know. i know friendships between males and females are discouraged in islam, and the two of us have always tried our level best to stay within our limits. even though now, we've grown considerably distant, and only inquire about each other's wellbeings, but the pain still seeps in every time the thought of him crossing my mind.

i don't know what it is i'll do without him.

also, have a look at my little floofy demon cat! say Ma Shaa Allah 👀 (excuse her dirty paws, she hates showers)