Zi Xuan woke up, hearing a snore from the person next to him. His eyes opened slowly, but of course he was met with the sight of Yu Hao, face a warm pink, mouth slightly open, and hair all sorts of soft and messy. He felt the warmth of Yu Hao's small hand on his arm, and he felt comforted by that.

His mind took him back to the thing Yu Hao had done last night. He appreciated the gesture greatly, and loved experimenting with this new side of his boyfriend.

Then he realized. It's Christmas, and he was spending it with the person he loved more than anyone else.

Reaching a hand out, he caressed the warm cheek of Yu Hao, leaning over and kissing his forehead to wake him up.

Skin parted to reveal chocolate brown eyes, happy with the love of Zi Xuan.

"Merry Christmas." The older said, moving his hand down to Yu Hao's arm. "And good morning."

Yu Hao smiled, his eyes closing again. "Merry Christmas to you too, sir." Rolling over, he sat up in bed, linking his hands with Zi Xuan's.

And wow. Wow. Zi Xuan loved him more than anything, but when he sat there, perched like a young prince on his throne, it made his heart stop. Especially Yu Hao, shirtless and almost naked as he was, displaying love bites proudly.

Zi Xuan reached up, coming into contact with that strong chest those years of volleyball had helped create. Moving down he pressed his thumb into a scar, leaving a small yellow spot where the blood had left abruptly. Yu Hao stared into his eyes impatiently while he did this, waiting to hear something, anything from Xuan.

But the Qi boy was conflicted. He stared at the man who he had cared for, who he had put all his love onto, who he had seen at his best and his worst, and he felt happy. But in a sad way. He knew Yu Hao probably would never play volleyball again, and he wondered if that made the younger sad. He wondered if he was happy with all those girls and drugs and all that fame and celebrity shit. Was. That word stuck in his head.

"Yu Hao." He asked, still staring at that torso in front of him. "Are you sure you're happy?"

Yu Hao laughed at first, but as soon as he realized Zi Xuan was being honest, his mood changed immediately. "What do you mean, baby?"

"I just... maybe I turned you into someone you... you didn't want to be. Were you happier before?" This question made Yu Hao panic.

"No no no, Xuan, I... I've never been as happy as I am with you. Truly. You... you complete me. I couldn't live without you anymore." He spoke fast, putting his hand on Zi Xuan's cheek.

Zi Xuan moved his hand, putting it on top of Yu Hao's. "You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." Yu Hao moved down slightly, smiling at Xuan, happy knowing now it wasn't that serious. "I love you, Xuan."

And it hurt to say that. He hadn't loved anyone before, he hadn't cared for someone before, he hadn't felt completely safe with someone before. With Zi Xuan, all cliches came to life, and that was so, so scary to this closeted, conflicted volleyball player. He really, truly, one-hundred and ten percent loved the man under him, and he knew it now. Those three words sacrificed more of himself than anything else ever would. He would gladly give Zi Xuan a knife and his wrist and let him chose his fate.

But Zi Xuan's mouth opened. "I love you, too." And then his small eyes closed and opened again, and he kissed the back of Yu Hao's hand and spoke with no hesitation. "Marry me."

"What?"

"You heard me. Let's get married. I'll buy you a ring." Xuan used his arms to push himself up, until he was two inches away from Yu Hao's face, his naked back against the bedboard. "I love you. You love me. Let's... let's get married. What do you say?"

Yu Hao hesitated for a moment. For Zi Xuan, it was the longest moment of his life, but with a smile, the younger leaned over and kissed him.

"Yes." He whispered softly, in between the kiss. "Zi Xuan, yes, please, fuck, I love you." He pushed Zi Xuan down and kissed him harder, speaking slowly. "I love you. Love us, love this." Hands intertwined, but hearts already had, and so hand minds, and soon so would family names, because these two men were special.

And when Yu Hao pulled away, he was crying.

Zi Xuan wiped away Yu Hao's tears with a thumb, kissing his cheek. "Why are you crying, baby?"

But Yu Hao didn't want his boyfriend to know why, and he ducked his head away from Zi Xuan's view. Because now, he knew what it felt like to be loved.

Zi Xuan's hands pulled him in tight, hugging him there on his childhood bed.

Love, was a complex word. But together, both could define it.

A/N:  sorry I was gone so long!

Felt bad for not publishing but here you go! Two major plot twists are coming up!

Love y'all!!