R Y A N

NATE PULLS away from my lips and I hold his shoulders, my legs on either side of his, still straddling him. I can't believe what is happening right now and I wonder if my mind, filled recently with lustful thoughts is playing tricks on me.

"This has to be a dream? This can't be real?" I think over and over.

My entire body is on fire with desire but, there's also the nerves. I have never been in a situation like this, ever. The last time I kissed someone this intense was with Nico on prom night two years ago. That was my first and last real kiss. I never made out with Dean, it was only the occasional kiss here and there, but we never kissed like this. This is different. This feels more intense, more desirable. Mine and Dean's relationship was too short for me to get comfortable for that level of intimacy and knowing what I know now, that was probably for the best.
   Looking into my eyes, his grey orbs looked laced with concern as I feel his hands disappear under my jumper, brushing his fingertips along my skin. His face inches away from me, our breaths mixing together as we stare into each other's eyes.

Silence fills the car, until his voice like velvet says, "why are you shaking?" He whispers, staring at me with intensity.

I shallow the lump in my throat, the butterflies from nerves hitting each and every wall in my stomach. Not only was I nervous about kissing someone who is clearly more experienced then me, but I was unsure what Nate wanted from this. Did he want me to do stuff to him? Does he want to do things with me? I was unsure how far I could take this before I chickened out. Before the rational side of my brain told me that I was too inexperienced to be doing anything with him. Before I push him away, just like I did with Dean.
   Only the difference between Nate and Dean was that Nate would never push me to do something I wasn't ready for, he cared for me too much. Where as Dean always pushed me to go further, under the influence of drugs. I was overthinking everything. My mind telling me 'you have no idea what your doing.' I was my own saboteur. Inside my own head telling me I wasn't good enough to be in Nate's arms.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"What for beautiful?" He still whispers, the pads of his thumb and fingers brushing my skin along my back.

I was already missing his lips on my mine and I desperately wanted to kiss him again, but the nerves were taking over - screaming at me that I didn't know what I was doing. No twenty five year old man wanted a young girl like me who didn't know what to do. My sexual experiences were completely non-existent and I'm not even sure if I'm kissing him right or not. Women like Melanie and that horrible bitch faced blonde from the engagement party last week were way more experienced than me and the thought of me being way over my head, thinking that someone like Nate would never want someone like me hit me.

"I-I've never... ..." I try to tell him, stopping in my tracks trying to think of the right words to say.

He stares into my eyes, his eyebrows creased together in confusion. I don't know how to tell him I'm a virgin or that I've never done more than kiss his brother, but the words simply won't form in my head to release out into the open. They're stuck in the back of my throat, making me choke on embarrassment of my inexperience. If I say them there's no going back. If I say them out loud, he's probably going to want to stop.

And... I don't want him to.

Breaking the silence, he pulls me closer to his body. His hard muscular chest pressed closely to mine and he is only making it harder to think of the words I need to say. "You've never what?" He asks, his expression unreadable and he moves the hairs away from my face, lovingly tucking the hair behind my ear, holding my cheek. I lean into his touch, welcoming the gesture, as his eyes shift, looking all over my flushed face. He always had a way to make me feel safe, an aura about him, but he's not helping my nerves calm down.

"Just tell him. Say it! It's not embarrassing, your a twenty year old virgin
who has only kissed one guy before. Just say it!" I try and tell myself.

"I... I've never done... stuff," I say and his brows knit together again. I wonder what he is thinking and realise he is trying to piece together my words to make sense. I mean it wasn't really that difficult to figure out what I said but, Nate didn't seem to understand.

His soft whisper fills the air - after what feels like an eternity, finally speaking and breaking the awkward silence in the car. "Have you ever been touched before, beautiful?"

Wide eyed, I stare at him blankly - glad in a way he understood what I meant and I shake my head slowly.

"Ryan..." he whispers, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. Slowly pushing his hand through my hair, gripping on to the back of my neck, he holds me in place as he brings my face closer to his. "Have you ever touched someone else?"

Again, I slowly shake my head, looking at him sheepishly.

"What about kissing? Have you ever made out with someone before?" He asks still whispering, our faces only millimetres apart.

"Only... only with Nico," I manage to tell him, almost mute.

"Fuck," he breathes out loud, slowly closing his eyes and resting his head on my chest between the valley of my mounds - taking deep breathes.

His fingers on my hip burn my skin as his grip tightens on me, his other hand sliding down from my neck, gripping onto my thigh. Did I do something wrong? Did I put him off with my inexperience that he doesn't want this anymore? My insecurities were building up and all I wanted to do was go home, hide under my bed covers and never have this moment mentioned again.

"I'm sorry Nate," I tell him, trying to get off of his lap, but his head shoots up - holding me in place with two arms around my waist.

"No! Don't move," he says almost scared. "Please don't move beautiful, I didn't mean it like that," his eyes pleading with me as he holds me tight against him. "It-... ... it's just..." he stops. Eyes studying me like he is memorising every detail of my face... every freckle... every beauty mark... even the shape of my lips. Slowly, he brings his hand up, gently touching my cheek and I lean into his touch once again. He's so gentle with me.

Minutes pass and I feel his hands slowly falling down my body, then away from my hips - under my jumper and grabbing the hem of the black material, pausing as he stares into my eyes, asking permission for something. I don't move. My hands still holding his shoulders keeping his fixed gaze on me while I study every move he makes in slow motion. I lick my dry lips - his eyes watching my action with excitement while I wait in anticipation for him to make his next move. I wasn't sure what he actually was going to do, until he whispered.

"Lift up yours arms beautiful." I did as I was told, raising my arms slightly and he starts to slowly pull my jumper off. I'm so nervous, my stomach somersaults with butterflies, but I trust Nate with everything I have inside me. Pulling my jumper up and over my head, he slowly puts it to one side as his eyes take a painfully slow look up and down my body, stopping on my chest. The cool feel of the summer night hits my skin on my torso, sending a shiver down my body and I close my eyes, welcoming the sensation. "Your so beautiful Ryan." His raspy voice is like a drug, I want him to talk like this all the time, it sounds sexy how deep his voice is.

Slowly moving forward, his hands back on my hips - he crashes his lips against mine in a passionate kiss. Slowly gliding his tongue into my mouth, I massage his with mine as his grip on my hips tighten. Throaty groans rumble in the back of his throat and I can't help but moan myself in satisfaction that I made him make that noise. It's turning me on even more every time he groans. Holding on to his top, I crunch up the material with my fingers, feeling the intensity of our kiss and a new sensation that tingles between my legs. I push him away from me - breaking our lips apart to catch our breathes. Our chests heaving up and down, the light sound of music with us breathing hard as we try to gasp for air are the only sounds in the car, Nate looks worried - almost confused.

"Does he think I want to stop?"

"Do y-you wan-t me... ..." I try to say, but I'm so nervous I can't speak. I play with the hem of his t-shirt, hoping he understands what I'm trying to say. 'Do you want me to take your t-shirt off?' But I can't form the words.

"Do you want it off?" He says as he looks between my eyes and hands resting on his body. His voice is deep with a smirk and I slowly nod my head. Of course I want it off. I want to feel his skin on mine and not just his hands. "All yours beautiful," he says leaning back against the seat, looking up at me as I still straddle my legs either side of him.

Slowly pulling upwards, I lift his t-shirt off his body, exposing his skin to the night air. Looking down on him I see the defined muscles of his abs and I lift my finger up, running it along the line of each dent on his stomach. Under the cover of my lashes I see him watch me with interest as I lightly touch him, sucking in a sharp breath every time I get close to a line shaped like a V near his jeans. I trail my fingers up, feeling his hard chest on my fingertips then down the side towards the tattoo that I saw along his ribs that night. I can finally make out what it is.
   There is a black and white feather, from his hip along his ribs, curving round with the words 'I'll always be there...' written underneath. I didn't know what it meant, but it was beautiful and I trace the feather with my fingers, making him shudder beneath me. Quickly he pulls me forward towards him, slamming my body on his as my boobs push up against his chest. A squeal escapes my lips as I collide into him and then I feel something hard pressed between my legs.
   His fingers are knotted in my hair and he holds my head in place, foreheads touching as he stares at me. Grabbing my hand, he slides it to his chest, resting above his pec, his heart is drumming under my palm and he presses my hand down harder to him.

"Your fucking killing me beautiful," he says closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry for exciting me, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just need to control myself a little, there's no way your loosing your virginity in the back of this car," he smiles. My eyes widen from his words at realisation of what he said.

"Is he saying he wants to be my first?" I think.

"Your overthinking again, beautiful," a small chuckle escaping his perfect swollen lips. "I'm not taking it tonight, but I do want to be your first Ryan."

"You do?" I say barely a whisper.

"I need to ask you something... ... something important. As much as it pains me to say... but, if you say no, then I'll stop this right now. We'll never mention it again and everything will go back to normal," he says, his brows furrowed.

I wonder what's he's going to ask me and all I can think about are his words, 'I want to be your first.' Is he going to ask me about my virginity? My inexperience? They are the only things I can think of that he'll ask me, but I sure as hell wasn't ready for what he said next. But then it dawns on me, something he just said. 'Everything will be go back to normal,' after tonight there definitely isn't going to be any normality between us, because there wasn't even normality with Nico. The memory of his lips dancing with mine were permanently etched into my brain and whenever I did think about Nico, my mind always drifted back to my first kiss. And I know my mind would always drift back to this moment, both of us embraced in each, on the back seat of the car.

"Okay," I whisper, barely mute.

"What would you say if I told you I've wanted you, not just as a friend but more? That Nic has wanted you just as much and just as long as I have.. ... ..." there's a long pause and his eyes bore in to mine as he softly strokes my skin. "That we both want you?" I sit up, shock making my back straight.

"Did I hear that right?!" I think.
"What did he say?!"

I'm not sure what he means and I think my face says it all. Gripping on to my back he slowly pulls me down toward him again, our noses touching lightly. Nate brushes the stray hairs from my face, tucking them behind me ear, leaning his forehead against mine.

"If you could, would you have both of us?" He whispers.

I'm not sure how to answer him. I mean I have them both already, but this is different. Nate is asking me to be with not only him but... with Nico as well. What happened to Melanie? Why would they both want me?

"Could I?"

"Please say something Ryan."

"I-I don't know what to say," I whisper. "You've only ever seen me as family."

"No beautiful. I've wanted to kiss those lips of yours for the longest time," he says and I feel his hips push up, the ever so growing bulge in his jeans presses against me. Closing my eyes a escaped moan leaves my lips, as I start to feel an ache between my legs that keeps increasing and then he pushes up again. "I think it's obvious beautiful... I want you... so fucking bad and I've been holding myself back because I felt it was too inappropriate to do anything... plus Nicholas and I made a deal - which I'm currently breaking," I hear him smile and I look down at him with my brows raised. "I really shouldn't be doing this with you right now or even be asking you this question," he chuckles, that amazing smile of his glowing in the darkness of the night. "But in my eyes it's only fair since he got your first kiss," he smirks.

"It's not a competition Nate," I roll my eyes and he chuckles softly.

"You don't know me and Nic very well then," he smiles.

I look down at his half naked body, my fingers itching to touch him again and that's just what I do. Slowly gliding my hands over his soft skin I look up, his eyes closed and his bottom lip attacked by his teeth. There's a throaty groan from him and I realise I want to keep hearing him make those noises. Slowly leaning down, I hover over his body, placing a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. When his eyes open he smiles, placing my lips on to his in a feverish kiss, gripping to my hair as he does.
   Small kisses leave a trail down my jawline and Nate pulls my head back to kiss down my throat. I can't explain the tingles in my body or the aching sensation between my legs, but whatever Nate is doing to me - I really don't want it to stop. Slowly his hands find my hips again, encouraging me to move them.

"Slow circles Ryan," he whispers. His eyes have turned a dark grey - still with a twinkle of lust as he stares at me, licking his lips. Grinding myself against him, I welcome the friction between us, but it only makes me crave him more and I push on to him harder. "Fuuuuck Ryan... do that again."

Crashing his lips to mine, we both fight for dominance over each other and I'm surprised at how forward I'm being. Five minutes ago I was a nervous wreak and now I'm making Nate moan out in pleasure, feeling him grow with every grind of my hips. I feel like a goddess. A sexual being, with a 'sex god' at my mercy.

And I love it.

"Lean back beautiful," Nate says, catching his breath after our lips finally disconnect. I do as he asks, leaning my back against the front seat. I hold on to his knees, gripping him to stay balanced as he runs his fingers over my stomach and under the rim of my leggings. "You can tell me to stop whenever you want, okay?" He says.

"I'm not read-"

"I told you beautiful," he says, pressing two fingers to my lips. "I'm not taking your virginity in the back of this car. Although I want to. I really fucking want to... buuut," he smiles, brows raised. "Do you trust me?"

"Always." I say quickly, with no hesitation because it was true. Other than my family I trusted both Nate and Nico with anything.

With Nate sitting under me and me - still straddling his legs I watch as he touches every inch of my exposed skin. Hands roaming my stomach, lightly tickling me, sending goosebumps all over. His hands circle round my waist, holding my back, he pulls me to him, bringing my lips to his.

"Remember... we can stop whenever you want, okay?" He says as he hovers over my lips and I nod, biting my own lip in anticipation, waiting for him to make his next move.

Twisting my body, he lays me down on the back seat - tugging at the black material of my cotton leggings as he starts to pull them down. My belly rumbles with nerves and excitement, my mind runs overtime with thoughts.

"If I'm not loosing my virginity tonight, then what is he doing?" I think.

He pulls the last of the material off my feet and discards them on the floor of the car. Laying over me, my body squashed against his on the back seat of his car and my legs tangled with his, he tucks his arm under my neck.

"Close your eyes," he whispers.

Everything around me is black, like the world is switched off. The only thing I can sense is our ragged breathing between us, his warm body on mine and the light sounds of his music in the background. A touch of his fingers tickle my skin around my neck as they slowly move down my body and I feel a tug on my bra. Thankfully I give myself a high five for wearing matching purple underwear, something Amy made me buy. He tugs again, feeling his finger tips brush the outside of my bra where my nipple is and my bud swells up with excitement.
   His fingers keep slowly dancing down my skin, making small circles until he starts heading down between my legs. He slowly teases my core over my panties, tiny circles forming underneath his fingers. The dampness between my legs is more evident now and I hear him suck in a breath as he slowly tugs the rim, his hand disappearing inside. I gasp feeling his bare skin against the outside of my bud, teasing me painfully slow.
   With my eyes still closed you could still hear us taking in excited breaths between us and then the low hum of the music. I moan, wanting this ache I'm feeling to be released. Slowly I feel his finger push the sides of my lips apart, a slick finger gliding down the length of me.

"Shit beautiful, your so fucking wet already," I hear Nate whisper.

Slowly he moves his finger, circling in a rhythmic pattern on my aching bud. His hot tongue trailing slowly on my neck, biting and suckling between each kiss he places on my skin. I'm flushed hot, goosebumps all over me as I feel a knot in my stomach constrict inside me. I grip on to his arm, moving inside my panties as the knots in my stomach tighten even more, causing loud gasps and moans to escape my lips. Whatever Nate is doing it feels too good to allow him to stop, but with me moaning loud underneath him, it just makes him go even faster.

Moving his lips, trailing a line up my neck to my ear, Nate let's out a groan, speaking in a raspy voice in my ear, "when I say so, I want you to hold your breathe Ryan. Got it?" I nod quickly, my eyes are still closed as the pleasure I'm feeling right now intensifies for me to even try and form words. "That's it baby, let go... let go... does that feel good?" Again I nod at his question. I can't speak - too scared I'll scream the answer rather than say it.

"Oh. My. God."

"Just let go beautiful."

"Uhmmmm- Nate," I yell out in a high pitched, throaty gasp.

It feels so good. Really good. My hand grips the edge of the front seat while my other hand grips his arm, feeling like my body is about to explode while I hold on. "Fuck baby, your close, aren't you?" He whispers in my ear, his fingers continuing their assault between my legs. The knots in my stomach get even tighter and I feel a tingle down below as my legs start to tremble, "now Ryan, hold your breath now," he says.

I do as he asks, holding the air in. Suddenly the tightness in my body explodes, sending waves of pure electrifying pleasure through my body. My legs shake and I arch my back under him, feeling the cool sensation of bliss wash over me as he holds me tight against him.
   His grip tightens around my shoulders while his other hand - still in my panties, rubs me in a fast pace. My eyes shut close as high pitched moan after moans escapes my lips until his capture mine in a passionate kiss. Slowly, little by little his hand slows down, bringing me back down to earth. My body trembles and jerks beneath him, jolting in our bliss.

"I really need to see and hear that again beautiful," he growls at me in a sexy low voice in my ear before he bites my earlobe.

*word count - 3516*

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I know... I know....
I'm a horrible person to update late, I normally update Friday's or Saturday's
but I've had a very busy weekend & couldn't fit in the time to proof read,
buuuuuuuuuuuuuut.....

Was the wait worth it?
😋😏😉

How was this chapter?
I was so nervous about this chapter because writing chapters like this can be difficult.
I didn't want it rushed, I wanted the build up to be slow because rushing it just not Nate's style.

And how about that question he asked her?
What's Ryan answers going to be?
How angry is Nico going to be when he finds out?

I'm so excited for you!

Please don't forget to vote & leave me a comment on how you like the story so far, every comment I've got does make me smile & I read every single one.

Stay safe,
CeeCee
xoxo
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