Your POV

I turn in bed, knots filling my stomach and heart as I rethink over and over again about the fight. Did I perhaps go too far in my accusations? Gosh, I didn't mean to be so mean. I don't know what came over me.

I only wanted to let them know that I didn't like them deciding everything for me, but instead ended up throwing a bucket of simmering anger over their head without warning. Namjoon's reaction only fuelled that, and I lost sight of myself.

Now... what now? What happens if I'm not within their pack's protection? Does that mean we can't spend time together again? Will everything get awkward and stiff between us? Did I ruin everything by trying to speak up my mind?

I sigh deeply, then move out of bed to reach the kitchen, eyes glancing briefly at the time on the oven to find that it's only three in the morning. I don't even know if I managed to sleep an hour or two since, my mind unable to stop going over the fight again and again.

I make myself a glass of water and slowly drink it down, knowing very well that sleeping won't be possible tonight.

Looking over the counter to find the cupcakes I'd made in Bora's class left untouched makes me feel even worse, and I drop my weight over the counter, glass set aside and head in my hands. I'd made those thinking of the pack.

I foolishly hoped that I could have made them proud by giving them something that I made, to show them that I too could be good in the kitchen, if given the chance. It all sounds so stupid now, that I'm almost embarrassed about it.

None of what I'd hoped for happened, in the end, other than the fact that I indeed made something edible in a kitchen.

Oh well. What happened has happened, and I need to move forward. Today, I'm going outside again. I need to look for a job and that means pushing myself out of my comfort zone a whole lot more than I did yesterday.

I don't know what kind of job someone like me can get, but I shouldn't be too picky if I want to earn money. I'll have to make myself presentable and wear something clean and formal. I don't know how it'll go, but unless I try, I'll never find out.

Nodding to myself as I stand tall again, I move to the bathroom to get showered despite the early hour. Success won't wait until I'm ready to live normally, so I'll show my mates that I can be an omega they can be proud of, at all cost.

---

The woman looks me up and down before pursing her lips, a hand to her chin before she shakes her head.

"I'm sorry, you're not exactly what we're looking for here. Your makeup looks great, if maybe a little simple. Your clothes are perfect, but the body... our customers won't feel comfortable if we hire you. Good luck in your search".

I bite down a bitter remark, then bow before leaving the store. What has my body to do with selling their products? Why would my body shape make people uncomfortable? If anything, it's their mindset that should make them uncomfortable!

Since I got here, I've visited a couple stores that had a job application on the front door. It didn't look like any of their requirements would get in my way, but what they don't say is that in the end, it's not your skills that get you a job, it's your face.

Or body, in my case. That's been used a few times to reject me and I'm getting more offended than I am hurt. I look at the time on my phone to find that it's already nearly ten in the morning, which acts as a bit of a shock to me.

Time went by so fast, I've been walking around here for three hours already? How did I not notice? To think that I haven't found anything yet... how ridiculous. I huff on the sidewalk, then glare back when a human stares at me weird.

It's possible that my not eating breakfast could have a say in why I feel particularly bothered by every looks I'm given right now, but after all that I heard so far... I don't really want to eat. I look down at my body, a frown on my face.

I could handle not eating until tonight. Hell, I could probably starve for a whole week and still be fine.

Finding a park nearby, I cross the street before walking to a lone bench beneath a tree, then sit down with a droop to my shoulders. What kind of job can someone like me do that I haven't attempted yet? Is there even one place out here that would accept me?

What did I do with In-yeop and Dal before my amnesia? I wonder if I could try to get my job back there... I haven't tried any of the convenience stores either, maybe that would be easier for someone like me. I don't think they really care who they hire as long as the job is done.

But how is working at a convenience store something my mates would be proud of? Maybe I'm trying to set the bar too high for what I'm able to achieve, but I really don't want to get their pity by working a job they'd consider... lowly.

Damn it. I did say that I shouldn't be too picky. I should start by re-evaluating my priorities. What is most important to me? Making my mates proud, or earning money? Priorities, Y/N. You can't have everything at the same time.

I hear a car slow down behind me then, and I twist my neck slightly to find a police car parking on the side of the road, exactly where I am.

Great. This is just great. Did someone call the cops on me because I sat in the park? Is that forbidden for fat people too? Is there nothing I'm allowed in this city? I'm starting to feel very bitter, I would probably bite someone if given the chance.

Maybe I shouldn't bite a cop, though.

With my eyes trained on the police car, mind already conjuring the worst scenarios possible, I can only tense up when the door opens to Hoseok the very next second, eyes widening when his gaze falls on me with a tight smile.

His scent of strawberry pie is sweet, though, and I relax a little as he comes over to sit next to me in his work uniform.

"What are you doing here, sweet bun?" he asks with a gentle voice, as if he's afraid of scaring me off were he to talk a little louder. "I saw you crossing the street from one of the stores looking..." he pinches his lips lightly, "dejected? Angry? Did something happen?"

I look down, fingers twisting together nervously at his question. "It's my first time seeing you in your work uniform. It looks good on you" I mutter instead of answering him. He just had to go straight to the point, huh? I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

He hums, hands patting his pants to adjust some minor detail in the creases.

"Thank you, baby" he murmurs, lips pursing in unease. "Do you need me to drive you anywhere? Can I be of help to you? Or is leaving you alone what you need? I don't want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, I can go if that's better".

I unconsciously grab his hand when he makes a move to stand up, and only then does he find out how cold they are. He scoots closer, both of his hands wrapping around mine to warm them up, eyes furrowed in thoughts as he tries to figure out what it is that I need most right now.

I sigh softly, knowing that I'm the one making things difficult at the moment. He just wants to help, there's no reason for me to push him away.

"I'm sorry, Hobi. I'm just... it's embarrassing, really. I was out looking for a job, but they keep using my body to refuse hiring me and I don't know how to feel anymore. I want to make the pack proud, but it seems I keep failing no matter what I do, be it at home or out here".

Hoseok's eyes widen, seeing the shame in my eyes now that I'm not hiding it anymore. "They what?" he gasps while looking back at the store with new anger. "Baby, I'm sorry, that's awful, no one should be treating you like that. How... how long have you felt this way?"

"Soon after I left the hospital, I guess" I admit quietly with a shrug. "At first, I was impressed by how great my mates were, I was proud. I mean, I still am. My mates are amazing and I'm so lucky to have them. I thought... once I'm back home, once things settle after a day or two, I can work hard too, I can be someone just as great, an omega that makes her alphas proud".

Hoseok's fingers tighten around mine, eyes downcast as he listens intently.

"My mind keeps telling me that part of doing so is by making you food, but none of you would let me help in the kitchen and... I don't know. That made me feel like a failure. Like... I don't know. I have only one spoon at my disposal, and it keeps breaking under my touch. When someone else uses it, it works just fine, but never when I do. I really want to make it work, though".

"That's why you signed up for that cooking class" he whispers, only now understanding why I did it. It should've been obvious, he saw how pained I was that they kept me out of the kitchen day after day, but he didn't think it would have affected me that much.

"Maybe it's linked to the past I can't remember" I say with another small shrug. "Maybe my wolf has made links where they didn't need to be made and now I'm stuck that way. Omega equals cooking equals worthy. I don't know, but until I figure that out, I know that I want to deserve a place in your pack, and I'm just... not there yet".

Hoseok wants to say so badly that I don't need to be anything more than who I already am to deserve the pack, but he also understands my need so strongly, because he was the same, once. A young alpha with the desire to make his mates proud, to deserve the pack.

He wouldn't have become a police chief if it wasn't for them. Who else was going to protect them from silly laws otherwise? Many would say that such a way of thinking isn't what a person of his rank should have, he should put the population's safety first and his pack second, but Hoseok couldn't do that even if he wanted to.

No, his job is there solely for his mates. He simply doesn't care if he has to use his power and money to get them out of trouble, not that it would ever be needed. Either way, he understands more than anyone else the need to find a place that will make me belong by their side.

"What do you think will make you feel like you're finally good enough for us?" he voices out his question after a minute of pondering, to which I hum as I look at the birds in the trees.

"That's a good question, Hobi. Honestly, I know deep down that no matter what I do, I might never feel like I belong. That sense of belonging isn't born out of something I own or do, it comes from inside, from here" I say as I tap a hand over my heart.

"I need to believe that I belong, but for now, I feel like I don't even have the minimum criteria to make it there. That's why I thought a job could be a nice place to start. That, and being a good cook. I want to see your faces light up when you eat my food. I don't know where that need comes from, I just know that it's very strong".

Hoseok stares at me in silence, then speaks up softly, "Bun... could it be... is it something you feel like you would love doing every day? Not just for the pack or because you have to, but because you truly enjoy making food?"

It doesn't even require any thinking for me to nod my head. "I think I would. Yesterday, during Bora's class... you know, it felt good to make something under her guidance and end up with a result that made me happy. I felt accomplished for a moment, it made me want to do so much more"

His eyes blink softly, and a smile melts on his pink lips. "Bun, I think it's possible that this could be a dream of yours. Just like Jimin dreamed of making clothes, and Jungkook dreamed of making video games. What if your dream is making food?"

I stare at him with round eyes, the words he just spoke sound almost too grand for someone like me and yet... something has never hit home as much as this does. "A dream... that sounds really nice, Hobi" I murmur quietly.

"Bora and the others all said that I didn't like cooking before, but it's actually very enjoyable. I don't know yet what I'd do with a dream like that, but I want to try more things, Hobi. I want to find out what I like, what I'm good at doing. No, even if I'm bad at it, I want to get better at the things that matter to me. Do you think it's possible?".

Hoseok's face lights up with pure joy at my words, and he nods quickly, his eyes creasing beautifully. He holds my hands tight, squeezing them to encourage me. "Everything is possible, Y/N. Hearing you say that makes me very happy. Would it be asking for too much, for us to be there as you grow?"

I stare at him, heart twisting as I understand that my speech from yesterday made them believe that I didn't want them near me at all. That's not what I'd wanted to convey. It seems yesterday's conversation wasn't really understood that well after all, just as I'd feared.

"I would love for you to be there as I grow, Hobi" I muse softly. "Yesterday... I don't think we understood each other the way we should have. It's hard to figure things out, not just for me but for all of us. Namjoon was very mad... do you think he'll want to see me again?" I let out with a worried frown that he'd immediately kiss away had yesterday night not happened.

"Of course Namjoon will want to see you again. You just have to know, bun... we had a talk together yesterday, and we figured out that it was best to not include you in the pack right now. Hear me out first" he says the end before I can counter his statement, a finger gently pressed onto my lips.

"It's really not as terrible as it sounds. It's a decision we made to give you time to figure out who you are, and I know how it sounds. We decided something without asking you first, again. We did hear you, though, which is exactly why we made that decision".

I purse my lips, brows furrowing heavily as I try to not let it hurt me. He sighs deeply, hand patting mine lightly.

"We keep thinking that everything will be fine if we do what we're used to doing as a pack with you, but that has always ended up going wrong. We thought about it, Y/N. Why does it always go wrong? Then I realized that with us, you have no space to grow. Why would we let you do anything when we can do it for you? Why would seven alphas allow their only omega to struggle when we can keep her in a comfortable nest all the time?"

He releases a dry chuckle then. "It's restricting, being surrounded by us like that, isn't it? That's what we realized, yesterday. We keep you from learning and we justify it by saying that it's only our way of caring for you. It's second nature for us to do everything for you. But it's not what you need, right?"

I sheepishly shake my head to answer him, and he smiles kindly. "This is why we decided to exclude you from the pack for now. By doing so, you're not expected to listen to pack rules, Y/N. You don't owe the pack anything, and you can do whatever you want without worry".

Oh, so that's why.

"What about you, though?" I ask, knowing that it can't be that simple. "For me to get my freedom and do things however I want, what does that mean for you? Are you pulling back from being my mates as well?"

His eyes widen. "What? No, not at all. In reality... this is good for all of us, since it gives us time to get to know each other individually as mates. Forming a pack with a new wolf... it's usually kept at the end of months of courting. We were just too fast" he explains seriously, body facing me and hands holding mine close to his heart.

"Had we done things the right way, we would have slowly gotten to know you. We would have brought you little presents, first scentless, to share our affection with you. Then, after a while, we would've brought some scented items like clothes and candles, to let you know that you have a home in us, should you want that. We would've asked for permission to scent you, a few days later. Never taking a yes for granted, because you're to be treasured.

"From time to time, we would've taken you out on dates, the seven of us, to show you what it's like to be loved and cared for by us. To show you what a life by our side could look like every day. We would have mentioned cuddles in a nest to entice you and our hugs would have lasted a little longer, hoping to get your scent on us. Then, and only then, would we have offered you a place in our pack".

He kisses my knuckles softly. "Any normal pack would have done so from the moment they met you, but we are seven alphas who've never had to deal with another second gender intimately. We're used to going straight to the point because that's what alphas do".

He snickers a little. "You're an omega to seven alphas who don't know anything about your second gender other than the fact that you need to be protected and loved. That makes for very eager and impatient mates, don't you think?"

I share his amused smile, feeling a little better already. There's something about Hoseok that feels like peace, it's never complicated with him. "Considering that I was particularly traumatised back then... yeah, that does sound like a chaotic mess waiting to happen".

He chuckles, fingers tender as they caress my cheek.

"Exactly. It seems we're slow to understand things when it comes to you, and I'm sorry that you had to suffer so much because of us. We'll do better. That's why we intend to start over, from square one. We'll earn your consent, one day at a time. If you say no, we make a step back and wait.

"That means we'll need you to let us know when you need anything from us. The biggest change you'll see, bun, is that we will no longer take you for granted. You are an omega to be courted by us, by your mates. Your pace will be our teacher, and your words, our master".

I breathe in slowly as I process what he's saying. "That means... you won't do anything that I haven't explicitly consented to, right? You won't seek cuddles, you won't scent or even stay the night, not unless I ask you to".

"That's right" he hums softly, hand still on my cheek and stroking it with love, the only affection he allows himself right now as my mate.

We've already cuddled so it's hard to pretend like this isn't something we both want, but he also holds so dearly the process that he and the others are attempting to start, which is to do what they should've done back then, when Jimin and Yoongi first met me.

"I had that conversation with Jimin, on the day I left the hospital. He'd said that you guys would not initiate anything anymore, that only what I want to happen would happen. I told him that I didn't want that, that it wasn't the right way to do things".

He nods. "I remember. I know why you're bringing that up, sweet bun. It's not the same this time. We're not going to pull back and never initiate anything ever again, it's just that we'll do things differently. You don't have to be scared, we're not putting all the decisions on you".

"Yeah... yeah, okay. That's good, then. I just didn't want everything to fall on my shoulders, I think that would have been too much for me to deal with" I admit, relief making my next breath easier to take.

"It won't come to that" Hoseok reassures me, forehead bumping softly against mine as he leans in.

"See it that way, if it helps. We're now requesting your attention, rather than expecting it. We're requesting to spend time with you, and if you can't, we contemplate another day that would work better for you. If I crave cuddles, I will ask you if we can cuddle, the same way that you can ask for company during the night if you're uncomfortable on your own. We're not taking everything away from you, that wouldn't do any good to either one of us".

"Thank you for taking the time to explain everything to me, Hobi" I murmur, eyes closing to better enjoy this intimate moment. "If you'd only told me that I wasn't included in the pack anymore without saying why, I would have panicked and expected the worst".

"Of course" he says softly. "Don't see what's happening as a loss but as a gain. We all gain from this".

He pulls back after giving us a few more seconds, then tucks some strands of hair from my face. "I have to get back to work, baby. Will you be fine here on your own? Are you sure you don't need me to drive you anywhere?".

I purse my lips lightly. "I'm not going home until I've tried all of the shops around here. I'm sure there ought to be one out there that could be good for me. Maybe I can ask In-yeop or Dal if they know of any places that are hiring".

He hums softly. "Alright, you do that, baby. Let us know if we can do anything to help, okay? Anything at all".

"I will" I assure him, now feeling so much better than when I woke up this morning. I feel stronger, more confident. His trust in me and their efforts to give me what I need to grow as well as our bond, it's pure fuel for the power that feeds my soul.

Before he can stand from the bench, I wrap my arms around him for a tight hug, head resting on his chest where his heart is beating loudly. There is no need for words as his arms hug me back just as strongly. Silence can communicate love just as well.

"You've got this, baby. Show them who you are, and make them regret not hiring you if they ever turn you down" he encourages. "Don't forget that your mate is a police chief. I'm here to take you out of jail if you ever make it there, but you have to make it count. Don't go down without giving one heck of a good punch in the face, otherwise I'm leaving you there".

I giggle against his shoulder. "Hobi! You shouldn't abuse of your power like that!"

He grins. "Oh but baby, that's precisely why I gained this power. To protect my mates".

He pats my back before standing up. "And time is ticking. Give me a call if someone's giving you trouble, I'll be there in a flash" he says with a wave of the hand as he hurries back to the car, leaving me right where I was in the first place, but feeling so much better.

I hum to myself, then raise my fists at my sides in an encouraging manner. I've got this.

I'll say though, asking my friends for help is a very good idea, I don't know why I didn't think of asking them sooner. Grabbing my phone, I make a group chat with the three of them before typing in my current situation. Hopefully that gets me somewhere.