50. you make me feel

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FELIX

I appear cool, calm and collected but inside, I'm freaking the hell out. I actually don't know how I'm supposed to start this conversation. Should I give it to her straight or should I wait? What if I apologize first? Nah, she will only shut me out again. Should I tease her first or flirt? No, she is very irritated at the moment, she might vent all her anger on me. But that'll be a positive thing, right? At least that will clear the air, but what if it provokes her more? Or should I wait a bit for her to calm down first? Nah, that'll just prolong our stay here, and in turn provoke her.

Jeez! Why are women so complicated?

A short while later, she comes out of the room. "Oh. You're back," I say casually.

"Where are the snacks?" She asks sternly.

"I told you they were in limited supply."

"What!" Her mien changes to more frustration than anger. She squeezes her tummy, writhing in discomfort. "They didn't even let me eat first before dragging me around town all afternoon. I must teach those friends of mine lessons they will never forget."

I bring out a box containing cheesecakes with a cup of yoghurt I saved below the counter table. Without invitation, she snatches them from my hand and begins munching down.

"You must really be hungry."

"I should be at home by now, resting," she says with chunks in her mouth, "but here I am stuck with you in this garage."

I watch her while she eats the snacks, still much involved in my thoughts, thinking how I should address the elephant in the room. After a quiet five minutes, close to when she's done, I begin whistling our ballet tune from the school play.

"Stop that!" She demands.

"Why?"

"I hate it when someone whistles around me."

"Do you have a phobia for whistling?"

"I just hate it. I find it disturbing."

Now, this is my chance. "But it's the only way I can sing a song without bothering about saying the correct lyric."

She faces me. "Just stop!"

"Okay, anything you say. If you want me to stop whistling our song, I'll do whatever you want."

"I didn't say you should stop because of me!"

"But you just told me to stop!"

"Don't do anything for my sake!"

"But I have no other reason to!"

"Stop annoying me!" She raises her voice, "I've had enough of you!"

I equally raise my voice. "What do you want me to do?!"

"Just stop talking to me!"

"I can't talk to myself all night!"

"Then don't talk!"

"I can't do that! My mouth is going to stink."

"Then talk to yourself!"

I giggle a bit, "why should I talk to myself when I'm not insane?"

"Says who? That's not my problem. You can go ahead and run amuck for all I care."

"I bet you won't be comfortable if I try that."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do."

"My goodness! You are still talking to me!" She walks a little distance, yet her frustrations does not get any less intense.

I follow her. "But you're the one who asked me a question!"

"Then don't answer me!"

"That would be very rude of me."

"I won't mind you being rude anymore. You've always been like this anyway." I see her fiddling with her fingers on paintbrushes while evading eye contact.

That's a good sign. It means that she's closer to the edge of breaking down her defences. Time to rev things up.

"But I'm trying to change myself for you!"

"Perfect! You had better." Her fiery eyes target mine.

"I'm doing all I can so you can stop being angry with me. You see, I'm trying my best to correct my mistakes and change because of you."

"Don't do anything for my sake for God's sake! Are you deaf?" She shouts louder.

"Why?" I shout, too.

"Because we are not friends!!!" This time, tears start to form around her eyes. She goes beyond her limit to emphasize her point.

I feel a stinging pain in my chest as we look into each other's souls, allowing raw and unfiltered sentiments creep in. "But we used to be," I say evenly. "We were happy, weren't we? I cannot believe how we turned out this way."

"You're the one who ruined everything for us." A dead silence between us proceeds thereafter but I only hear my cries of pain and heartbreak screaming in my head.

No! I will not accept this defeat. Our argument can't end like this. I have to think of something to make us pour our hearts to each other. "This means you never enjoyed those times we were friends if it can be over so soon," I point out.

"I did."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"I said I did! Those days were my best days until you—"

"And I try to make up for it! Do you want me to apologize for the rest of my life? I will do it, but you also have to hear me out."

"Shouldn't that give you a hint that it's already too late?"

I shake my head in rejection. "For me, it isn't."

"Good for you. I don't care."

"I don't believe you. If you didn't care, why did you support me in the inter-house competition yesterday?"

She becomes speechless and stares vacantly at me. Inside, I smirk at my progress thus far. I say it's not easy to stand toe-to-toe with Agnes on a normal day. Here goes one point for me after a million points for her. But that's not the point for this. I just want us to go back to the way we were before.

"Stop trying to make up for anything," she says and walks another distance.

I follow her still. "I'm sorry but I won't stop, not until you forgive me."

She gives nothing but a silent treatment worse than being scolded at. It's too bad I already had the courage to wear my heart on my sleeve for this moment.

"I'm really sorry about everything. I regret ever deceiving you or using you for my personal gain in the past. I shouldn't have placed that bet on you and played with your feelings the way I did. I just want us to be friends again."

"I don't want to get hurt by anyone I trust," she highlights with a cracked voice. I can swear she is fighting back tears in her eyes as she speaks.

I puff air, my eyes also starting to water. I won't let her see me cry either, not now, not tonight. I tuck my head down and finally step aside, she does same and that brings us to the conclusion of our heated argument.

AGNES

"Just great! Now my battery is flat!" I look over at Felix who is keeping himself busy dusting the furniture.

Was I too harsh on him? No! he deserves every piece of it. I won't talk to him, and he shouldn't bother talking to me. But I simply can't tolerate this deafening silence much longer. Oh please, Felix, say something... anything!

I grunt in frustration. Fine! He wins. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

He shakes his head.

"I can't be the only one talking here!"

He writes on a sheet of paper: YOU SAID THAT I SHOULDN'T TALK

"Yeah, right. Don't talk to me." I turn away and continue wallowing in my frustrations, until my fury gets the better of me. "Say something, you psychopath!" I scream at him.

Before he writes his message, I confront him to grab the paper.

"Don't you keep me bored in here! Isn't it hard enough being locked in this place with you?"

He forces down a laugh.

"Say something!" I push him with force.

He lands on the floor and convulses into a long suppressed laughter.

"I hate you!" On a whim, I sit on his stomach to hit his chest with both fists many times. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Damnit! I really hate you so much, Felix!"

He catches my hands in the middle of that hissy fit. "I'm sorry. It's just so funny seeing you react like this."

"You think I'm crazy, huh? Are you trying to say I'm crazy?"

"Those aren't my words."

"You're very annoying!" I stand up and turn my flushed face away with crossed arms.

He stands up too. "I've been wanting to talk for ages. Now I'm sure my breath stinks."

I titter, despite efforts to hold back my feelings.

"It's fine," he jokes, "it doesn't smell that bad."

We burst into a laugh, like a heavy weight lifted off my shoulder. I guess now I can honestly say that I'm truly happy, inside and out.

"I'm really sorry. I wish you can forgive me and forget about everything in the past. Let's put it behind us and move on. These past weeks have been the toughest and I don't want to continue living like that."

I'm left with no choice but to dispense a wistful smile. I can't keep pretending that I'm angry at Felix with an apology like that, and his heartfelt speech that gets me spiralling like silly. I forget that he is the 'King of the Impossible' as he has already become the king of my heart.

"Does this mean you've forgiven me?"

I shift my eyeballs to the side, blushing slightly. "Everybody deserves a second chance, even an idiot like you."

He comes closer. "I'd totally agree to it. I'm the biggest idiot, if it means we can begin again."

I thought I could handle it. I thought I wouldn't fluster when this moment comes but my stupid heart cruelly pounds in my chest even when he is only within touching distance. Just by looking into his blue eyes, it feels like an invisible string is pulling me towards him.

I close my eyes to quietly shake off whatever it is I feel. "Don't be awkward," I tell him.

He grins, "I'll try." As he looks at his wristwatch, he winces. "Whoa! Three hours until midnight! It's already too late to go home."

"What!" I cock my head in doubt. "How are we supposed to get out of here?"

"I don't know."

"Hold on! What! You don't have any plan to get us out of here?!"

He scratches the back of his head. "Well, I... the plan was that we'd reconcile and then use your phone to call Yvonne to let us out, but now that you have a dead battery—"

"Don't you have your phone?"

"Um... I left it with Xian."

"Gosh! You're the dumbest idiot I've ever met! How are we going to get out of here?"

Instead of thinking of a solution, he grins gladly in my direction. "Couple of hours ago, you only wanted to get yourself out of here, now you're considering both of us."

"Could you quit being absurd?" I sneer, walking towards the door to hit it as hard as I could, but no one tells me to stop when my palm starts to hurt. And nobody answers from the other side.

"I don't think they can hear us. They're likely to be fast asleep at this time."

"Where would they even sleep in this area?"

This is useless. At last, I have to spend the night with Felix in this place. What I feared has finally happened.

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