Naina

I was nervous. Zayne was visiting today for the first time since our marriage. I found myself pacing my room, unable to calm the jitters fluttering in my chest.

After a few moments, Maya broke the silence. "If you're nervous about the visit, ask him to stay here."

I gave her a weary look. "Come on, it'll be like a fun sleepover," she said, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah! You just want him to stay here so you can make eyes at him," I teased, laughing. Before I married Zayne, I would quite relentlessly tease Maya with him. She had had a gigantic crush on him in first year and they had become really good friends there after.

Maya threw a pillow at me, shaking her head. "Yeah, you can go sleep in the hotel he's booked. I'll keep him company."

Her remark was playful, but a sudden surge of jealousy took me by surprise.

I wondered if Zayne would be happier with someone like Maya. Someone happy and bubbly.

As though reading my thoughts, Maya said, "You know he's crazy about you, right?"

I nodded.

"Must have hit his head somewhere. Poor chap—TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)," she concluded. I laughed, feeling a little lighter.

Still, I wondered if I should take Maya up on her offer to have him sleep here. Advik had done that a handful of times, but it had made Maya uncomfortable.

Soon, the doorbell rang. Maya beat me to the door, greeting my husband with a wide smile.

"Come to see me?" she asked him, her tone playful.

"Yeah, of course," he responded with equal jest.

I hung back, observing the banter. Although there was a playful vibe between them, my heart warmed knowing Zayne was here for me.

"Naina..." he mumbled as he approached me. My heart thudded in my chest, and heat crept to my cheeks as his eyes met mine. He stopped a few steps away, but something within me propelled me forward. I drew him into a hug. A second later, his arms encircled me, and I rested the side of my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I smiled, realizing his heart was beating faster than my own. I stayed there, listening till his heartbeat gradually slowed down. He just let me be, not trying to kiss or caress me—just being there.

"Ahem!" Maya's voice broke through the moment. We broke apart, and Maya was looking at me curiously as if I had sprouted an extra head.

I felt a twinge of confusion. Until this moment, I hadn't been sure about Zayne's visit, and now, I didn't want to let go of him.

"How are you, Naina?" he asked, ignoring Maya. I blushed at his question, not for any specific reason but because he was looking at me with such intensity while asking it.

I felt okay. I was okay because he was here. I swallowed. "I'm fine. You?" I asked.

"I'm great. I'm so happy to see you," he said genuinely, his eyes lighting up.

"Okay, I withdraw my invitation to have you both stay here," Maya interrupted, a mischievous glint in her eyes. I glared at her. "Out, both of you! I don't want to see either of you here."

A wave of irritation surged through me. She was trying to force me to go stay with him. No way! But then I glanced from her to him and saw a goofy grin spreading across his face. Despite myself, I smiled.

Maybe staying with Zayne wouldn't be so bad.

We hung out, just the three of us, for about an hour, catching up. I packed an overnight bag while listening to their playful banter. The task was almost mechanical, like second nature. Change of clothes, nightwear, undergarments, charger, glasses, contact lenses, contact lens solution, toiletries, makeup, ring. I paused, staring at the ring. Amethyst, not diamond. Was that why we didn't last?

"Where's the ring I gave you, Nia?" Advik had asked once, suspicion lacing his tone. "Did you lose it or something?"

I had been fumbling with the pendant of the necklace Zayne had given me for my birthday. "Why do you wear that stupid thing around your neck?" he had sneered. It was gold plated with a moonstone pendant, delicate and beautiful.

I should never have accepted it. I should never have worn it. Maybe then Adi wouldn't have suspected me of cheating. Maybe then he wouldn't have hurt me. Maybe then, I would still have been his.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as the memories flooded back, and I quickly wiped them away before either of them could notice.

"Shut up, Adi. I have kept it safe. I have to keep taking it out when I wear gloves, and I don't want to lose it," I had told him.

"You could wear the ring around your neck," he suggested, his jealousy barely concealed.

I had chuckled at his jealousy then, not realizing how deep it ran. But that chain was no longer mine; he had broken it off with a tug in one of his fits of rage and thrown it across the room. The memory played like an old film reel in my mind, sharper than I wished it to be.

The burn on my skin as the chain broke at his tug, the heat of his kisses, the roughness of his need... and Zayne in the next room.

"Please, you promised no sex before marriage," I had pleaded, my voice trembling.

But he had taken me anyway. My 'no' never counted for anything; he would seduce me until I changed my mind, until my resistance crumbled under his persistence.

"Naina..." I heard Zayne's voice before I felt his touch. I recoiled visibly, and he swiftly removed his hand as though it burned.

I didn't want anyone touching me. I realized my cheeks were wet and didn't meet his gaze. Shame gnawed at me. Instead, I looked at Maya, who was staring at something in my hands—the ring.

I quickly wrapped it in the tissue paper it had been in and kept it back in my underwear drawer. I hadn't returned the ring. Why should I? It was mine, wasn't it?

"Marry me, Naina. I love you. You are my best friend, my soul mate. You are the light in my life. I promise, I'll love you forever."

I had done a good job of suppressing these memories for months now, but after that phone call from him, they were starting to resurface with a vengeance

"Nia..." That's all he had said, and it broke me again into a thousand pieces.

Now I was gasping for air, and Zayne stood by my side in shock, not knowing what to do. He deserved better than this mess. Why did I have to break down today? In front of him?

Maya was quick to get me a glass of water, and I gulped it down, trying to regain control. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I managed to say, my voice trembling.

Zayne approached me again, this time careful not to touch me. "Was it the engagement ring?" he asked softly. I nodded. I would wear it whenever I went to visit Advik and had automatically taken it while packing the overnight bag.

"It's just a setback, Naina," he told me gently.

It didn't feel like that.

"Here, lie on my lap," he said, sitting on my bed. Hesitantly, I did and closed my eyes. He began to massage my temples and forehead.

"Just breathe," he whispered, and I followed his guidance, inhaling deeply.

I didn't know if it was the emotional exhaustion or the lack of sleep from the preceding week, ever since the phone call, but I slept off on his lap.

When I woke up, it was nearly dark. I was on the bed with my head resting on some pillows, and Zayne was lying next to me, talking to Maya in hushed tones.

"Can't you get her to see a counselor?" I heard him ask Maya. "Does she need to be on meds?"

I felt a twinge of insult. I had been doing well on my own. I had so much work to catch up on—I didn't have time for counseling. Besides, I had Maya. She gave me worksheets for cognitive behavioral therapy, and I religiously completed them.

I was writing "Stay Mine," a story about how Advik had been wrong for me and how I fell for Zayne. I was getting better; I didn't need medications.

"She was doing well until that asshole called her," I heard Maya tell Zayne. "And I've been working with her."

"She needs professional counseling, not you," Zayne countered.

"I'm going to come over and strangle you right now!" Maya retorted.

I smiled, despite myself.

"Zayne?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"You're awake," he smiled at me. I didn't deserve his smile. I didn't deserve his kindness.

"Thanks for coming," I told him, really meaning it. I didn't know how to explain it. He was like this pillar of support, like he was holding me up somehow. It wasn't love, but I really liked him. I trusted him, I needed him.

"Do you want to come with me to the hotel or just stay here?" he asked.

"I'll come with you," I heard myself say. I wanted more time with him, and I didn't want to share that time with Maya.

"Can I talk to you privately?" Maya asked Zayne. He looked surprised and glanced at me. I shrugged.

"I'll go bring the clothes inside. It'll rain tonight." We had a laundry line on the balcony where we hung clothes out to sun dry. It was the rainy season, so it usually took a couple of days for the clothes to dry, and we needed to remember to bring them back in if we expected rain.

As I was returning with the clothes, I heard the tail end of their conversation.

"I'm telling you, give her time," I heard Maya say. Wasn't Zayne already doing that?

"She's my wife, and I don't want her friendzoning me."

I froze in my tracks. Was he planning to try and consummate our marriage tonight?

I was shaking. I wasn't ready. I needed more time. I understood that this was part of it when I had agreed to marry him. But I thought I had more time. I thought Zayne would give me more time. I dropped the laundry basket on the ground, and both of them turned to look at me.

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Thank you for reading.

Remember that you are amazing, and there is a reason for everything. You are going to be okay.
❤️Faiza