Why tell you my problems when you got your own,

so instead I take out my problems when I go home.

All behind closed doors, where no one judges me,

I unzip my face mask, where comes out the real me, the real Bree, thats been hiding for so long, 

so now its time for me to share my story and sing my song.

So I take out all my problems when I go home and you will never know who I really am all along.

With this fist in the wall, crying, looking at a family photo and on the side of my eye I see my neighbors through the window, staring at me like I'm lo-co.

Why God? Why this year? Why us? Why this family? Why mine?

I looked at the picture where I was smiling, reminiscing, thinking back to when people use call me "Ms. Sunshine". 

But my sun is far from shining, its more like the moonlight in the night,

trying to go to school and pretend like everything is alright.

Living in two places. Barely get to see my families faces so yeah...

I take out all problems when I got home and alone, but then I fell and the sun shined so hard in my eyes and was too bright I thought I was going blind.

Suddenly I heard kids running around a small apartment that looked all too familiar, and then I suddenly realized it was our apartment in Irvington on Bedford Terrance Street. 

I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't get a clear vision of the peoples faces. Then I see a beautiful woman smiling and dancing with this man and then I finally couldn't believe I was dreaming of my parents again. 

I know that was them because my mother had a very special smile, 

those memories hurt and I tried to erase them, but never won because they are stuck on file.

But wait... my nose suddenly smelt bacon popping in grease, grits in butter, pancakes, and so I went down stairs and saw my family, sitting at the table smiling.

This brought tears to my eyes because that was like the first time in months I saw them together and of they asked me why I was crying.

But finally my mom said "Come and eat". "You were sleep for 7 days, but "why was this so"? 

Laughter came out of me and I hugged her and said "Oh you will never know". 

02/2015

 P.S. I wrote this around senior year high school while my parents were splitting up and this was honestly like hell to write at first because of the emotions through this piece but basically the poem starts bad and ends good, just like I wish it would of in reality.