After a long, long shower Namjoon came out of the washroom scuffing a towel on his brunette hair.

It had been some time since he was not reeking of cigarettes. Namjoon could sense the fresh aroma of shampoo and bathing soap washing over him, his eyes stinging, the skin on his fingertips crinkling for stepping in the shower too long.

Last night he had not touched the packet of Marlboros.

It was sitting there on his studying table, unscathed. Namjoon couldn't help but bite on the nail of his thumb while he stared at it. And then he rotated his head around in circles, only to meet books strewn here and there, his bed unkempt and piles of novels scattered there, the bedside table dusted with ashes, his whole room, stained with ashes.

He smelled good but his room didn't. It was holding a past of him lying there doing nothing but smoking and reading for the last days.

Heaving an exasperated sigh Namjoon fixed on working on his bed first. Right after taking a step toward it he stepped back, turned to his study table and he picked up the packet of cigarettes.

Then he threw it onto the dustbin next to the table.

What if he got the urge to smoke again tonight? What if he could not help but leave the dorm when it was close to midnight only to buy a new pack?

The thoughts started to shroud around his brain but he shook it off.

He knew if he did not stop now he would become a chain smoker soon enough.

That was not going to solve his problems. It would give him a momentary phase of relief but his numbed thoughts would start to unfreeze again and they'd keep piling up inside his brain.

No matter how many times Namjoon had found himself slipping away, he picked himself up. Maybe not so strongly, maybe not so wholly.

It always hurt. Nonetheless, Namjoon knew he had himself.

Stars would always appear to brighten the night sky. If Namjoon did not have a star in his sky he would rather make one himself.

There was a newfound confidence in him after the revelation on the dorm's rooftop last night. Before the confidence too would become volatile and evaporate like that, Namjoon used it the best way possible.

He cleaned his room, though it wasn't an all and all success, the stains of cigarettes and coffee were practically stuck to the fabric of his bed so he decided to change the sheet to get over with it, only to realize the coffee stain had made its way onto the mattress beneath as well.

He tried to arrange the books too but there were so many he did not where to put them all. He tried, at least.

After all that he sat on his now kempt bed and decided to call his professor to make an appointment next day about the Masters application overseas.

He probably would have called his family too but then he realized he was a bit too excited mentally, yet too tired physically to make a long phone call and get himself into an argument that could possibly not go well for the other side.

Right then, there was a knocking sound heard on his door. He scuffled to open it and found Taehyung with his fist still raised in the air.

A boxy shaped grin immediately appeared on the blue head's face. "The landlord called maintenance over. There has been some problem with the gas pipe in the kitchen. Do you want to get barbeque outside for dinner? We are all pitching in."

"Everyone?" Namjoon shifted on his feet as he pondered over the idea. His short hair was still wet and was sticking to his forehead, Namjoon thought if it was the sweat from cleaning around.

"For now Jimin and Jin hyung are going. Rest are not here so I have sent a text in our dorm's group chat."

Namjoon lightly nodded to himself. "Okay. Give me a few minutes."

It didn't take Namjoon more than five minutes to slip out of his loose trousers to wear a pair of jeans. While brushing his hair he did notice that albeit not looking like an utter shit like last night he still had pores and pimples glaring at him from the reflection. Grabbing his warmest jacket Namjoon left the dorm with the other three.

Evening was falling on the city outside, wrapping the surrounding in a gloomy blue cloak. The chilly air was seeping in through Namjoon's attire. He shuddered to himself but the other boys seemed alright.

Taehyung was beaming about the pink sweater with the seven purple hearts he was wearing to the rest. Though it did not look like his style and the sweater was too big for him, it still somehow fit him well.

"Thank you for letting me wear this, Jin hyung." Taehyung had the hems of his sleeves down to his fingers as he shook his paws in the air. "Next time, lend me your lipstick too. The cherry red color looks so good on you!"

Namjoon realized why it didn't look like Taehyung's style, because the sweater wasn't his. "Those are just tinted chap sticks," Jin scoffed in reply.

"It does match you, hyung," Jimin said in a low voice. Namjoon saw the pink hues on Jin's cheeks, though he could not tell if he was really blushing or it was the makeup. Jin seemed like he had started to use a light amount of makeup before going out, for a while.

It indeed suited him well. Before that too, Namjoon always thought Jin was one of the most handsome people he had seen here.

"I could help you dye your hair in exchange of that! I know where to buy hair dyes that are cheap in price but last a long while," Taehyung excitedly announced.

"What hair color do you think would look good on me?" Jin asked back.

"Brunette, I think." Taehyung had a knowing look on his face. "Blonde would look good on you too."

The eldest let out a fit of laughter. "I don't think I can do that but sounds good."

"What about me?" Jimin piped in. "What hair colour do you think will match me?"

Namjoon had walked further ahead of them by then. The last thing he heard was Taehyung saying "orange", it rung a bell inside his brain. Then he looked up and he saw it.

He saw orange.

Maple leaves adoring the branches of the tree that was casting shadow upon the street, and fallen, dried leaves carpeting the gravel as well. Even in the blue evening they were burning like flames, yet so gently. Juxtaposed with the charcoal of the street and azure of the coming night.

"Namjoon," Jin came and stood beside him.

It was like walking down the lane of older memories. Memories of the time when it wasn't so cold and dry, but it would pour April showers and soak the city in tears of the sky.

Namjoon remembered standing right here with Jin when the maple tree wasn't orange, and, an aghast expression was on Jin's face, his eyes filled with sorrows.

A lot unlike today's Jin who had a small smile playing on his full lips. His face glowing as if the knitted, brown colored pullover clad on his body was radiating light.

"I've got something for you, if you won't mind." Jin pulled something out of his pocket and gave it to Namjoon who took it from his hands.

From approximate distance voices of Taehyung and Jimin could be heard, bickering between themselves. Namjoon saw it was a small box and then he held it close to his eyes.

"Nicotine chewing gums."

"You've been smoking a lot these days. And you've been looking sick too. I was... I was a bit worried, I guess. It's okay if you don't want to use them. The smell does not bother me. I can close my windows, I'm just worried about you."

Jin was stammering in his words and after the 'windows' part, Namjoon looked up. Jin knew, all these time he knew Namjoon smoked.

The English major had forgotten Jin and he had aligned windows. He couldn't imagine how much the stench had caused Jin trouble because he always smoked near the opened window.

"I researched that these can help one quit smoking. So if you ever want to..." Jin trailed off and let out a huff of breath next. "If you ever want to quit on your own according. I'm not pushing you. As I've said, the smell does not bother me. It's your health that seems like it's falling apart."

It was him that was falling apart. Namjoon was surprised that Jin could notice that.

"Thank you." Namjoon gave him a cursory nod before putting the small box inside his jacket's pocket. "I'll use them."

"I'm so hungry I could eat a cow," Taehyung's loud voice made him look at the duo approaching them.

"Keep your mouth wide open like that and even a spaceship could enter it," Jimin smirked from the side.

"Oh boy, let's get to the restaurant before these two start again," Jin commented as he slid himself between the other two.

Namjoon shivered a little again with a gust of wind rushing past. Autumn seemed like it hadn't bid a farewell yet, unlike what Namjoon had thought.

The dreary and long winter was nearing. However, Namjoon felt like he could maybe survive it better this time.

---
A/n: leaving all the jokes aside, I've been struggling a bit physically and mentally.

Your interactions, you reading this book always make my prosaic days better. So thank you for that. If you ever feel down remember that mysha is a sad bitch but that sad bitch smiles because of you. Mysha is thankful that you exist.