8 or 9 months ago
I dropped a sandwich behind the chair.
I really meant to clean it up
but forgot that it was there

Just last week
I dropped a pound
and it rolled to the same place,
but when I bent down
to get that back
my heart began to race.

Holding my coin,
and looking quite mean,
was two slices of bread,
with corned beef in between

Two beady eyes,
were staring back at me
and it held out my coin
and said 'Can I have this for my tea?'

I was surprised!
I was taken aback!
I never thought a sandwich
would ever say that!

Of course, I didn't think it could talk at all...

Then it started to crawl...

I fell back,
right on my bum,
and the sandwich smiled
and said "Yum!"

A salad cream tongue
licked at its crust,
and the sandwich whispered
"I'll eat you if I must!"

I shook with fear!
I trembled with fright!
This talking, crawling, menacing sandwich
wanted to take a bite
OUT OF ME!
OUT OF ME!
Oh, I wanted to flee!

But, strangely, curiosity
put a halt to my flight...

I crept back to the room,
and what did I see?
My corned beef sandwich dancing
to MTV!

I really couldn't handle this,
it was getting too bizarre,
and then the sandwich
turned to me
and said "Ah, there you are!"

"I wasn't really serious.
It was just a bit of fun.
I'm not really going to eat you
so there's no need to run."

"I only wanted that money
to buy a bag of crisps,
'cos if I ever eat chocolate,
it goes straight to my hips!"

I felt a little better
so joined it on the floor.
We actually got on quite well.
I wasn't scared anymore.

It's lived beneath the chair now
for the past week or so.
It eats crisps and penny sweets
and likes a drink of cocoa.

I guess it must be lonely.
It's a sandwich in the end.
So I think I'll drop
a bacon bun,
just to give it a friend.

K