Aries: There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Taurus: When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

Gemini: My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

Cancer: The heart was made to be broken.

Leo: There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Virgo: The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Libra: Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Scorpio: You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

Sagittarius: To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Capricorn: You can never be overdressed or overeducated.

Aquarius: Genius is born—not paid.

Pisces: Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.