The Signs as Bad Puns

Aries: I lost my watch at a party. When I went looking for it, I saw some guy stepping on it while harassing a girl. So I walked up to that dude and punched him strait in the nose, because no one does that to a girl.... Not on my watch

Taurus: I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me

Gemini: My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends

Cancer: My friends bakery burned down last night. Now his business it toast.

Leo: I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y...

Virgo: What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot. Mitosis!

Libra: Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a day

Scorpio: When the scientists wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit...

Sagittarius: Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos...

Capricorn: Einstein developed a theory about space., and it was about time too...

Aquarius: Police were called to a daycare yesterday, when a three-year-old was resisting a rest

Pisces: Yesterday I accidently swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I am ok, but I feel like I've dyed inside a little