The signs in Mario Kart:

First place hoes: Leo, Taurus, Cancer

Seventh place hoes: Virgo, Gemini

Gets all the good items but still ends up losing: Scorpio, Libra

Always slips on banana peels and fake item boxes: Capricorn, Sagittarius

Ruthless hoe who uses the blue shell no matter who's team they're on: Aquarius, Pisces, Aries