What the Signs say when they've taken someone captive

Aries: Idk, I thought this would be more interesting. Now that you're tied up, I'm a little bit bored. I'm out. *exits room*

Taurus: That was way harder than I thought it would be. Just stay here a sec, heh, I gotta go get an energy drink.

Gemini: *slaps you* WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF JUNE 2? KIDding, you were at my birthday party, duh.

Cancer: I could've offered you the easy way, but nobody ever chooses that and I just assumed . . . aaaaand now we're here!

Leo: HAHAHA! I DID IT! NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO MY WHOLE PLAN WHICH I'LL TELL YOU FOR NO LOGICAL REASON BUT TO GLOAT!

Virgo: I'm going to jail. Am I ready to go to jail? Is anyone really ever ready to go to jail? Did you see my face yet?

Libra: I don't know if I used the right kind of rope. I wish they had a review to help you make these kinds of everyday decisions. I could go buy more, I suppose. Promise you won't leave?

Scorpio: Oh . . . you're not . . . I'm sorry . . . I though you were someone else. F***

Sagittarius: You're tied the f*** up motherf***er!

Capricorn: I'm almost insulted you didn't see this coming. Then again, I guess that's why you're tied up and I'm not.

Aquarius: Mind helping me set up some IKEA furniture?

Pisces: Now that I have you . . . want some tea? How many sugars do you take?