[ cнapтer ғorтy-тнree ➛ ѕтarт ]

▬▬▬▬▬▬♢▬▬▬▬▬▬

The pain never lessens, only gets easier to manage.

Almost a month had gone by since the funeral, so it was now late-August, less than a few days before the Dreamies would go to university. Mark had already left to go back to his agency, thrown into a tight schedule that allowed no time for grieving because he was set to debut as a soloist soon. All the work was a good thing.

Slowly, the Dreamies were piecing themselves back together. That night at the beach, while they cuddled in blankets around the crackling bonfire, a different blanket of stars up overhead while waves crashed onto the shore, had served as a form of closure.

Yet not a second went by when neither of them thought of Jisung. Especially when together. It was hard to fully process that their previously youngest friend was gone.

Chenle especially had been broken, in a state where he rarely spoke or did anything, as if all sunshine and life had been drained out of him. And his sunshine and life had left, resting in a whole other world now. But slowly, he regained his old character back, he didn't cry himself to sleep as much, he laughed a little more each day.

Donghyuck had been a similar case, uncharacteristically quiet and reserved. The boy had been frequently out of his house, spending days with the Dreamies and nights wandering streets or parks or forests. But gradually, taking his time, he was healing from the shock and grief of Jisung's passing. Like Chenle, his old personality was recovering, he acted more in the present, he smiled more.

Renjun would have been reclusive, mourning alone and rueful, if not for Salami girl lifting his spirits. She was proving to be a blessing, always knowing what to say to cheer Renjun up and make him feel better. Caring, sweet, and gentle, she had all the right words. Eventually, though struggling, they were reclaiming their old status quo, lightening the atmosphere, ensuring their friends were faring well.

And Jaemin and Jeno had been trying to bear, clouded thoughts never at ease. But every waking and sleeping moment sharing thoughtful murmurs or comfortable silence with each other, they were mending. Both, Jeno especially, were working towards preventing their minds from spiraling into traumatic or hateful thoughts. Over time, they moved back into daily life, talked more like crackheads, and began to feel cheerful and upbeat again.

It was odd how the Dreamies had been acting. From major differences such as ceasing attendance on parties or not acting as daringly and dangerously, to the little things. The way their steps and actions seemed heavier, or their softer nature, word choices less severe and tones gentler.

Everything had been changed drastically, but they were surviving, steadily transitioning back into healthy frames of mind.

Because the pain never lessens, only gets easier to manage.

▬▬▬▬▬▬♢▬▬▬▬▬▬

One night, their mothers already fast asleep in other rooms, Jeno and Jaemin were on the younger's bed watching Netflix — or more accurately, staring at their phones and occasionally glancing up when apps were loading. Overtop the ruffled covers, Jaemin's chest was flush against Jeno's own and midsection, their legs an intertwined mess.

Their position was chaste and also the opposite of 'no homo'.

Jeno sighed as he finished a chapter on the game Episode, all his passes used up leaving him to wait over three hours until he could play again. As soon as he looked at the TV, displaying Pretty Little Liars, he pouted, hand idling carding through Jaemin's soft strands. "Emily's a gay queen, but she has a resting distressed face."

The younger snorted, engrossed in his phone as he tapped and tilted away on Roblox. "She's also a dumbass like all the other characters." Suddenly, he got sniped and he cursed, looking up at the TV like Jeno, "Fuck! Yo, did you hear it started snowing in Canada non-stop like eight years ago."

"Elsa's overdosing on the marijuana they're about to legalize," Jeno replied, eyebrows raised.

"Or she's on her period," Jaemin winced and shivered at the thought. "Canada really pissed her off."

"Imagine what would happen if Anna pissed her off instead," Jeno suddenly said. "Elsa could probably freeze Kristoff's dick or something while he and Anna are trying to make an heir to the kingdom."

"For the first time in forever, there's a nice lil' dick-sicle for Anna to suck," Jaemin smiled cutely. "Uwu."

"But Kristoff can't let it go and nut," Jeno pointed out. "And the cold would definitely bother him, I mean I'd rather get dominated by you than have my dick frozen."

"Your brain cells need a major fixer-upper, I dominate anyways," Jaemin hissed. "Ugh, can we watch Gossip Girl instead of Pretty Little Liars? This sucks ass."

"Fine," Jeno sighed, fishing the remote out from under the blankets and changing the show. "Only 'cause Chuck's a sex god."

Jaemin pouted and moved his attention from the screen to Jeno's jawline. "I'm hurt."

"Don't be," Jeno smirked, quickly planting a kiss to Jaemin's forehead. "You make me uwu and nut 'cause you do better than any sex god."

"Of course I'm doing better, I'm doing you," Jaemin smiled, too distracted by Jeno to notice Blair Waldorf's incessant high-pitched screaming in the background.

"Hmm, I guess we can be switches."

"I really am sorry for being an ass before," Jaemin suddenly brought up, his hand moving to just rest on Jeno's lower back. "I don't even remember our old childhood beef, but I regret it."

The older nodded, "Me too. I could've spent my time getting a good suck and fuck, but nah."

"Feels bad man."

Silence.

"Forreal though," Jaemin spoke up again. "If I ever said something that offended you, I definitely didn't mean it. You're an amazing person, and I'm really fucking sorry if I made you feel any less than that."

"I forgive you," Jeno grinned down at Jaemin, his eye smile melting the younger. "And same here. I know we already apologized for this, but I hope you know how sorry I am and how much I regret the past, I dunno, thirteen years of our lives. You're really sweet, you didn't and still don't deserve any of my shit."

"It's okay," Jaemin flashed the ok sign with his hand. "I'm sorry for that birthday present I gave you when we were five or whatever. The iPad where I drew an eyeball with Sharpie onto an opened toiletry pad and put it in a Samsung tablet case instead of Apple."

"That was legendary," Jeno laughed. "And I'm sorry for my own gift to you. The one where I pretended I had a Pokémon card for you, but then I punched you in the face."

"I genuinely thought you finally started to like me, and fetus me was boutta kiss you."

"What was I supposed to do?!" Jeno cried defensively. "Actually give your annoying ass a Pokémon card?"

"Whatever, it's your fault our five-year-old selves didn't make out." Jaemin frowned, but the corners of his mouth immediately lifted when Jeno dipped his head down to meet Jaemin's lips with his own.

Blair and Chuck drama unacknowledged, the boys were lost in each other.

It wasn't sexual at all, but just as enchanting. Gently, their lips and bodies moved in sync, sending flare after flare of warmth through their bodies. This kiss was sweet, pleasant, and soft, their minds fuzzy as they played with each other's hair.

Eyelids only just closed, an occasional flutter of the lashes. Skin glowing and radiating with light, tingling at the soft tickle of fingertips, stan Gfriend, or hair. Plush lips a fluffy caress, sending enticing sprinkles of sugar.

Their kiss was a warm melting of the insides, slow, steady, and saccharine, a feeling they never wanted to stop flooding through them. Yet at the same time, sparkling spikes shot through their bodies, shocking and inducing a sort of adrenaline-fuelled sugar rush.

It was hard to describe, a mix of the classic warm and firework kiss.

But it was beautiful.

They loved it.

▬▬▬▬▬▬♢▬▬▬▬▬▬

Some time later, they broke apart to catch their breath, lying on their backs with chests heaving.

"I really like kissing you," Jeno murmured, embarrassed at voicing his thoughts so he buried his head into the younger's shoulder.

Jaemin smiled lazily and hummed. "Me too. You're addicting. Like crack. No homo. Just kidding, yes homo."

Snorting, Jeno snorted lifted his head to look at Jaemin, the younger gazing back at him.

"Do you think Chenle would ever try to... find someone?"

The younger heaved a sighed. "He's loved Jisung for so long, the boy is his childhood. Even though Jisung would want Chenle to be happy, Chenle won't be getting involved in a romantic relationship."

Thoughtfully, the brunette bit his lip.

He knew he could lose Jaemin at any time, and he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't take his own advice and confessed to the younger.

A lot had happened over the past year. Jeno had moved to America, adjusting to a new place of residence and culture. He had become friends with Jaemin, their hateful past dissipated. He had been there for Jaemin during his toughest times, and the younger had done the same for him over the past few weeks.

Jisung was gone, and although the group found a way to talk about him normally again, live somewhat normally again, things were different. The world had an unreal, painful tint to it.

Jeno had dealt with many obstacles and was still trying to overcome some. But he knew, with Jaemin there, he could manage to survive through life.

The younger had come to mean a lot to him, and he genuinely couldn't imagine life without Jaemin.

There was so much he wanted to say, to do with the younger.

Jaemin was thinking and feeling the exact same about him, his thoughts consumed by Jeno.

As they lay deep in thought, sneaking glances at each other, they realized something.

▬▬▬▬▬▬♢▬▬▬▬▬▬

[ cнapтer ғorтy-тнree ➛ end ]

[a/n]: u can stop crying (if u were crying idk) bc we're back to mild crack y'all

also only two more chaps left, halle-fooken-lujah lol

^damn im a whole ass poet