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Everything Is Shattered 😔

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Hello everyone? I hope Christmas 🤶 is going well with you and your family is doing good. I know I don't update regularly but I'm focusing on studies these days but I promise I'll update once I'm free don't hate me if I'm not doing good because I'm just trying my hardest to become a qualified writer because if I did that's will make me feel better.

Anyhow, I know everyone is wondering about my story well the truth is I think I'll say the truth because I don't like to lie about anything. My ex-boyfriend didn't love me he just wants me to do sex with him and he offers me if we ever meet up we can go to the house and the moments I want to cry because I know that's he wasn't giving me any existence in his life. I loved him because his heart was pure but I didn't know my du'aa was is responding all I ask for the true personality of him but I'm so stupid that's I lost the last pieces of my heart, I'm so sad because everything he says to me was a lie even when he says to me: "We will get married after I finish college" but turns out everything was a piece of paper filling it out with lies. It's hard when you cry for someone who never cares about you, it's hard how you love someone but doesn't love you back, it's hard to fall in love with someone but your heart is needing a little more recovery, it's hard you express your feelings but he never gives you any value in his life.

However, I broke up with my ex-bf because he never communicates with me, he never text me all the time, I felt that's he ain't serious about us. And all the time he wasn't caring if I stay up all night chatting with boys he isn't overprotective or overjealous. The way he treats me is like he treats me so cold even when he calls me at the end of the call he never says: I love you /Good morning babe /Goodnight wife he never says those words that are moments his actions speak the truth about his personality but I didn't care for him because I know that's moments I shouldn't give him any chances I should end this relationship before I get hurt.

Conversations

BF: Hey, how are you? How is your day?
Queen: I'm good you, how is college so far?
BF: isn't bad for me but I hope I finish soon.
Queen: Good luck,
BF: So tell me is everything okay
Queen : *mumble* *thinking*
BF: Tell me.
Queen: just I don't like it when you lie to me says to me, and how every time I ask you you say: "Nothing' and how many times I said:" What did you say and you responded with nothing. Then you say: "I thought you are pretending that's you didn't listen so that's why I say nothing. Seriously!!!!! I didn't even listen I wasn't pretending that's I didn't hear him I was serious that's I didn't hear what he says. And how every time I tell him that's someone is annoying me he keeps calling me "You never care how every time I tell you",
'DO YOU LOVE ME"? YOU SAY: "YES" IF YOU LOVES ME YOU WILL NOT HAVE DISAPPEARED AND NEVER CALLED Me BUT I DON'T GIVE SHIT ABOUT HIM NOR THE BITCH GIRL WHO SPEAK SHITS AND THOSE NON WORDS AND MY PREVIOUS BOYFRIEND FUCK HIM AND ALSO SHE CHANGES HIM TO BE DIFFERENT AROUND ME.

In my suggestion, I decided to never give a shit about both of them and I'll keep my crush relationship a secret because if I told her she will steal him from me I feel like she is going to makes me suffer for the rest of my life.