Book Name: Moonfall

Author:  bigscarr12

Reviewer: Kaju [ human_whatever ]

Cover: 2/05
The cover is fine, I'd say. It is nothing cool or crazy, just a simple image with text, looks fine.

Title: 2/05
It is okay, nothing even quite close to what is there in the blurb. See, that's the thing with readers, they'll check both and kind of find context, and if they don't find any they prefer not to read. If it had been anything like relevant to the blurb AND the story it could've been better.

Synopsis: 7/10
The synopsis is fine too. It does attract the readers. But one thing, I think the kiss is pretty out of context, it is a very serious situation and she is not acting seriously by doing that in any way, if that was your intention, pretty good, but otherwise you can change it to some different scene. It would be better if you do, because it pretty much spoils the book. See, that's the thing about Blurbs, they reveal things but not too many, it's like trailers… but for books.

Execution: 3/10
The execution is very poor, there is no specific time line. Does it happen on consecutive days? Does it happen on alternative days? And tbh, it looks shortened and very unreal all together. No one giggles near a dead body. I hope you get my point. I can help you further.

Plot: 12/20
The plot seems to be okay, but from what you've expressed till now, I can understand that it goes like friends to lovers but in a pretty cliché way, we've seen the same things enough times to know what's coming next. But one thing i would like to mention is that in chapter 8, when it starts with two new characters who we don't even know yet, it goes down for readers they get confused by such turns in the plot. Tip: Don't write that way, introduce a character by at least mentioning them before. Like in this book it would've been like, affiliates of Jake talking to Jake or just a small cameo before. It woudl be safer.

Writing Style: 10/20
There are a lot of mistakes in the writing style, some dialogues, it's hard to guess who's speaking as the action of the opposite is written, for that you can say "Said X, while Y was…" or "X said, while Y was…"

Also, it needs to be more descriptive and long to interest the readers.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20
The grammar is very wrong in the chapters. One of the mistakes I found was, "They're ain't no Penguin here" it should be "There" they're means: They are.

The next dialogue after that, "Said he's need to see the penguin, told him there ain't no Penguin here." I think you mean "He". See one more thing about this one itself, it has no context of who says it to whom, really confusing.

Otherwise, talking about the main mistakes, it's punctuation. There is a dire need of punctuation. You need to add full stops, question marks or exclamation marks after a sentence depending on what it suits no matter what. It is a compulsory rule. Doesn't matter if the dialogue description is only three words long.

I suggest you get it edited by some editor as it needs that.

Characters & Development: 4/10
There is a lot of lack, the characters don't have any depth and it's confusing. Even though you put up a character chapter, that does not explain the characters. They're pretty confusing. You need to give characters a somewhat introduction before you present them to readers. And the character of Alex is very unreasonable, inconsistent and confusing. You need to explain what she is and what she is, what she feels and what she doesn't a lot nicer.

Total: 50/100

Final Note: Hello! I hope I did not come out rude, but I just want to let you know that if you want any help I'm here. :)