Book Name: Simper in Metanoia

Author: SongYeEun2500

Reviewer: ceyshells

Cover: 03/05

The cover is good, but simple. Main characters are present, background includes an insight into the plot, title and author's name stated clearly enough. However, I find that the font style used for the title doesn't seem to tie into the storyline. This particular font style gives me a medieval vibe, which I don't think is in line with the story. Other than that, it's not a bad cover.

Title: 04/05

I really like this title! It's definitely a unique one that catches the reader's attention. Also, I like that you have a series for this set of stories. However, that is where I have an issue. Though the title for the book itself is great, the series title doesn't do justice to the individual book's name.

Synopsis: 06/10

Right off the bat, I appreciate the author putting the definition of metanoia. It isn't the most common of words, and placing a definition in the blurb definitely helps the reader greatly understand the plot of the book.

The description itself is written well, the second paragraph is good, but there's a couple of run-on sentences in the first paragraph. The first sentence has a choppy feel, while the second has a rushed feel when you read them.

Might not be the most accurate every time, but the choppiness can be due to the excessive number of commas, while the rushed feel can be due to a lack of commas. This isn't 100% accurate for all examples! For this case, it is accurate for the second line but not the first.

Additionally, "changes" and "challenged" contradict each other in tense forms.

Example: the relationship gets a full stop when she makes a sudden decision but everything changes when she challenged fate.
Edited: the relationship comes to a full stop when she makes a sudden decision, but everything changes when she challenges fate.

For the first line, I recommend making it shorter. Cut off the words that aren't necessary and rephrase.

Edited Example: Hyun Ji-ah, who is in a relationship with the orphaned Kim SeokJin, has lived a prestigious life as the prideful daughter of a famous man.

Overall, the blurb itself is good, and the styling is nice as well.

Execution: 6/10

The story is well written, with developed characters especially from an emotional aspect, and an interesting plot. However, the grammar issues could possibly make it hard to read, especially for a person who is touchy about it.

Plot: 16/20

Ji-ah is the daughter of a famous man, which also comes with a fair amount of riches. On the other hand, SeokJin is an orphan, taken in by a woman who runs a noodle shop. A woman raised in a high class environment and a man raised in a third class environment, worlds apart. Yet somehow, the girl becomes attracted to the boy, falling in love with him.

Despite being the one hopelessly infatuated with her lover, Ji-ah also seems to be the one who calls the shots in the relationship, probably due to her upbringing. After a horrible "date" at SeokJin's foster mom's shop, Ji-ah breaks up with him and goes for dinner at a high-class restaurant. Unfortunately, her car breaks down along the way, and she meets a mysterious old woman who tells her her future.

Although still in the early stages, this story's plot has potential. In my opinion, it can possibly be written as fantasy, romance or a hybrid of both, but localised in a reality that we are familiar with.

Writing Style: 15/20

The story is written in first person, from the point of view of Ji-ah, the main character. Normally, I prefer stories told in third person, but for this story, it works well. Also, it is told in past tense. The author occasionally uses words in present tense, which messes up the flow sometimes.

Each paragraph is detailed, but uses simple language, making it easy to understand. The emotions of the characters in this work are very elaborated and well developed on.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20

There are quite a number of issues for grammar, varying from spelling to run-on sentences.

From chapter 1: …but every hope crashed when I took her hands back, pulling them harshly (the story is told from Ji-ah's pov, so the "her" refers to Ji-ah. Therefore it should be "my" instead of "her")

Another from chapter 1: Not for me but your betterment but no, you won't do what I want… (a bit of a run-on in the first half)

An edited version you can consider

Edited: Not for me, but for you. I want you to be better, but no, you won't do what I want…

Spelling error in the second chapter: tires or tyres not tiers. There's also a run-on sentence in the same paragraph:

From chapter 2: I am sure he had this nervousness because the Ji-ah who he works for, would have screamed and scolded the heck out of him and I want to do that but I'm just too much into myself right now to pay attention to any other thing. (the comma feels out of place and the second half has a rushed feel)

Edited: I am sure he had this nervousness because the Ji-ah who he works for would have screamed and scolded the heck out of him, and I want to do that, but I'm just too much into myself right now to pay attention to any other thing.
OR
I am sure he had this nervousness because the Ji-ah who he works for would have screamed and scolded the heck out of him. I want to do that, but I'm just too much into myself right now to pay attention to any other thing. (splitting the sentence into two can eliminate the run-on)

Also from chapter 2: I began to feel suffocated. As if the car is getting tinier. (not much of an issue, but the two sentences can be combined. I feel like it sounds weird when you read this out loud.)

Edited: I began to feel suffocated, as though the car was getting tinier.

An issue which I realised while reading this part was the use of the word "is". For the whole first two chapters, the story was written in past tense. In this case, the "is" becomes a present tense. Do take note of this!

There are more issues, but I've listed most of the main ones. I'd suggest consulting an editor to look through your work and pointing out the rest of them.

Vocabulary wise, there are more varied terms used, and that makes the storyline captivating. However, though the aforementioned applies to most of the story, there are some instances where the words used lack detail compared to others. Due to the earlier sections being well described, the difference is pretty stark.

Example: It wasn't supposed to be this cold but it still felt good when the wind blew my hair. (missing comma!)

With changes: It wasn't supposed to be this cold, but it still felt soothing when the freezing gust of wind blew through my hair, fighting the fire of my anger with its chill.

Characters & Development: 07/10

Right from the first chapter, I disliked Ji-ah. She has a very haughty personality: everything she has or does must have substance in a high-class environment. Sitting at a middle-class restaurant disgusts her, having a simple meal with her boyfriend disgusts her. Basically, she expresses a lot of disgust and anger throughout the meal, doubt when she wonders if Jin still loves her, and disappointment at Jin at the end of the chapter.

Jin is caring, as seen from the way he remembers what his girlfriend cannot eat. He even carries the pills around for her on the occasion that she accidentally consumes them. It appears most of his life revolves around Ji-ah, and he was immensely saddened when she broke up with him. Meanwhile, at that point, Ji-ah was still lost in thought about him, yet also fuming about having eaten in a middle-class restaurant because of him.

He didn't make very good business decisions. It's as though he were lazy to do so, or he was afraid of it. Every business deal he had to associate with was just to comply with Ji-ah's wishes, and when she doesn't get what she asked him to do, she grows angry. Ji-ah is also very entitled and boastful: as seen when she went to talk with the older ladies at the fancy restaurant.

Much of the attention is focused on Ji-ah, as Jin mainly only appears in the first chapter. Thus, we have a lot of information on Ji-ah, but not much on Jin. Hope there will be more revealed about Jin in future chapters!

Total: 67/100

Final Note: Hi @SongYeEun2500 , I believe this is my second time reviewing your works, so thank you for the continued support! I hope this review will help you in improving your story. Feel free to pm me for clarifications.