-Don't make me fall for you by minhappy [Rev. Anika]

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Book Name: Don't make me fall for you || M.YG ff

Author: Minhappy

Reviewer: Anika

• TOTAL MARKS- ①⓪⓪

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
-1.5/5

The Author claims that the original book was deleted and she published again plus she is editing the chapters. It seems like there was some readers before, hence I found no any comments except for one.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
-8/10

The book cover is simple and beautiful. The theme is background of Suga's image and it look appealing, attractive and eye-catching. The fonts are pretty and suits the cover but the end of second line is upward. Kindly balance it, it wasn't necessary to do that.
Advise: If you ever feel a need to change the book cover, use image of Suga wearing a coat since he is also a CEO. It will match the plot plus armies look for these kind of stories too.

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
-4/5

The description isn't too long nor too short. The quote and the above paragraphs are attention-grabbing but the author spoiled the story in the last paragraphs that Yoongi will try to stop her and will fall for her. It would be better if you write as a question, "What if given words aren't fulfilled?" And don't remove this point "Yoongi was clearly warned not to fall for her"
Just erase all remaining blurb below this point. Keep it mystery and suspense to the description readers.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
-9/10

The title is too long but it matches the plot. Since it's a title, first letter of every word should be in capital to give professional look. Remove "ff" it doesn't look appealing.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
-10/10

The plot is commonly used among many writers but this one is very different. the way author twist the story it gave light to the plot. It's fantastic! It's not boring nor cliche. It have depths and focuses on many different things rather than one. Yoongi instead of being a love adviser focuses on what's right.

|- ②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
-9/20

The grammer play biggest role in the art of writing. There are bunch of typos and past tense. The grammatic errors in your book didn't steal the fun but still it is very important to fix them because they are so noticeable in your book. Don't feel too pressured due to the list below

Punctuation:-

"What?!" Y/N said, shocked she stop whatever she was doing...
Correction: If Y/N said it then remove question mark. If not then write "Asked" or "exclaimed"

Chapter 2,
Yah do you have a death wish? Or something?
Correction: "Yah do you have a death wish or something?"
This overall was one question, you didn't needed to divide it into two.

Chapter 9,
"I have been waiting for you like an hour ago and now, my legs are killing me."
Correction: There is no need to add coma after "now" we read whole sentence without pause

"What do you think you are doi..."
Correction "You are doi-" Add Minus in end to indicate your sentence is interuppted.

Typos and spelling mistakes:-

Chapter 13,
Unknown person wishper yelled to calm yoongi
Correction: "Whisper" Spelling mistake

"Yoongi looked at his clothes Y/N was holding, which she (chose) for him"
"He refused because the clothes which Y/N have (chosen) were exactly the same-"
Correction: Its "choose" or choosen"

(There was so many minor mistake like this. Some of them I didn't mention here but I'm letting you know so be careful next time)

Vocabulary:-

Chapter 3,
1. "Y/N just hummed in response, enjoying her hot latte, not giving her attention to him."
Correction: The correct way to write last sentence "And not giving him any attention"

2. She said checking for her purse inside her bag to pay the bill.
Correction: "She said looking for her purse inside the bag to pay the bill"

Chapter 4,
1."Worries visible on his voice "
Correction: "Worry visible in his voice"

2."The girl stood up from where she was sitting"
Correction: Just write "She stood up from her seat" or just "She stood up"

Chapter 5,
1."As a couple of hands wave right at his face gaining his attention"
Correction: As couple of hands wave right in front of his face gaining his attention. "At his face" makes readers think of punch or slap which she definitely didn't do it.

2."Before He realised, he began staring at Y/N."
Correction: Before he could realize, he is already staring at her

3.I didn't know that you know him
Correction: "I didn't knew"

4. "Is she acting this way because I yelled at her yesterday? Why? She should be thanking me" Yoongi thought as he continue to gave her the weird looking vibe of stare, which was starting to annoyed Y/N
Correction: "But why?"
"..continue to give her weird kind of stare which was starting to annoy Y/N"
Past tense "Gave" and "annoyed" doesn't apply here.

Chapter 6,
1. "Perfect!" Jisoo exclaimed as she perfect Yoongi neck-tie. Jisoo stepped aside from the large mirror and Yoongi beautifully made figure appeared on it"
Correction:- "Jisoo exclaimed as she fix (or balance) Yoongi's neck-tie. She steps aside from large mirror revealing Yoongi's handsome figure"

Chapter 7,
1."Open the car door already, didn't I already said my legs hurts!?" Y/N yelled.
Correction: Open the door already, didn't I told you my legs are hurting?!
There is punctuation error too, question mark comes before exclamation mark like this (?!)

2."How can a person look so good in everything they wore but... not yet perfect"
Correction: "Not perfect yet"

3."She started to raffled my hair in a messy way."
Correction: "She start ruffling my hair in a messy way."
Its happening now so dont use past tense

4."I held her hand stopping her from raffling my hair any further."
Correction: "I hold her hand to stop her from raffling my hair any further"

5."Yoongi's eyes widened in suprise and shock at the same time."
Reviewer question: Aren't they both same thing? (Surprise and shock) even if they aren't, it's bit off writing them together.

Chapter 12,
Y/N sigh in disbelief as she stare the already gone figure
Correction: Y/N sighs in disbelief, staring at the direction they disappeared

Choice of words:-

You mostly used "said" everywhere even in questions.

Chapter 7,
1."What?!" Y/N said, shocked she stop whatever she was doing...
If Y/N said it then remove question mark. If not then write "Asked" or "exclaimed"

2."Min Yoongi" She softly said the name that was written in the file.
Correction: She softly muttered or mumbled

Chapter 9,
1."What? Can't I even visit my boyfriend?" Y/N said in cute way
Correction: Replace "What?" With "Why?" And she "asked" in cute way.

2."What are you doing here? He sounded annoyed already as he walks over where Y/N was
Correction: He already sound annoyed as he walks over where Y/N "Is". (Seem annoyed can be used too)

3."Do you want me to make things harder?" Y/N said warning him.
Correction: "She warned"

Chapter 12,
1."The little boy went to Yoongi and gestured his hand to Yoongi, calling him."
Correction: The little boy went to Yoongi and beckon him to come closer. Yoongi bends down to the boy's level.

2."Yah! I clearly heard that, you little pervert. Who told you those kind of words, come back here" She shout.
Correction: Word "Taught" should be used in this sentence since it involves teaching more than telling. "She shouted" Past tense is used in this sentence.

's' and Apostrophe:-

"So it was beakhyun doing all along. Does he really think he can do whatever he wants?"
Correction: Add apostrophe before 's' in Baekyun's name like this "Beakhyun's doing"
Due to this minor mistake, I was confused for a moment and had to read this sentence thrice.

Chapter 9,
Yoongi didn't say a single words but just give her an expression like 'I'm serious'.
Correction: "Remove "s" from "word" if you say it's single (I found this mistake multiple times)

Name and letter :-

No matter what 'i' letter should be capital in every sentence. In your book you wrote ( I ) in small letter everywhere.

First letter of name and place are written in capital letter. You wrote Y/N in small letter "y/n" or "Y/n" and Mr.Choi too. His poor name was written in small letter throughout the whole story.

Throughout the whole story Baekyun name was written as "Beakhyun" I first thought Y/N is pronouncing like this due to anger but endless amount of same spelling mistake proved me wrong.

Grammer errors:-

You used past tense instead of present simple or present continuous

I was too focus on her cute dimple that I forgot I was still holding her hand right above my head.
Correction "I'm still holding"

"I released her hand without saying a single word."
Correction: I release her hand without without saying a single word. (Why hand? Why not wrist?)

Yoongi start muttering again, still not moving an inch from his place.
Correction: Yoongi already muttered so write "Yoongi muttered again while still not moving--" You was supposed to use past tense here.

The book is full of past tense, kindly correct them.

Clichè:

"She blinks her eyes"
What else she can blink?

"She shrugged her shoulders"
What else she can shrug?

(Her eyes) (her shoulder) are extra details and it ruins the mood and it is most common mistake in the field of writing. Your book has this mistake in various places.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
-10/10

This book was totally like K-drama or should I say more interesting than K-dramas. I got a lot of shocks to the core, the moment I start reading it. When Suga commented about lipstick on her teeth, I lose it and burst into laughter. That was so interesting and it was exactly just like him. You are so talented and amazing! Every scene and details were so unexpected and incredibly eye-opening that I had really best time reading your book. The first meeting of Suga and Y/N and the plot twists when found out that Suga is CEO of Muse and Jisoo is his secretary and childhood friend just like Y/N and Baekyun. The moment when Y/N found out Suga is her saviour in the elevator and when she cancelled the meeting, that scene was so tense and thrilling! I love it!
My favourite part is when Suga was trying to take off her heels and he looked up when her face was only few inches apart. I totally imagined that and it hit my heart really hard.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ.
-10/10

Reading this book, I was feeling different kind of emotions. The author is really expert and talented in delivering every emotions through her writing skills whether it's humour, shock, sadness or happiness. (In most part I got big shocks, I really loved it and It encourage me to read moree)

Suga'a character is soo good, I think 90% that's was his realistic personality and that's rarely happens in wattpad. Savage, straightforward, soft and caring and it wasn't cliche at all.

Y/N's emotions were deep, I felt sorry for her, when she cried all the way back to hotel from nightclub and when she read the wedding card and cried in cafe. That scene made me laugh at same time because of flustered Suga.

I really love the scene when they were in the ferris wheel and how Y/N played mind game with Suga, that was super lit! And it is noteworthy how your writing style was alluring.

Reviewer question: In chapter 10, I don't understand why Yoongi said to Y/N that "I will make you fall for me" When it was only their 3rd meeting and during the same day she cancelled the meeting, kidnapped him and force him to go on date, didn't he hated her for that? Chapter 1 was understandable and cute but why in chapter 10? I know it is part of plot but it escalated quickly and I don't think he will get this wild idea in first day. Even if he got it, why he told her exposing himself on first day?

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
-9/10

You are really good at describing the details such as appearance or place. The beginning of flashback in chapter 4, the sky and everything you described, I felt the peaceful moment only just by reading it.

In chapter 1, the way you described their appearance for candlelit dinner was spendid. I knew it right away you are good with words.

Y/N appearance when she waited for Yoongi for their first fake date, she was wearing simple clothes but the way you described her look in Suga's POV is enchanting. She looked admiringly beautiful when imagined it and when it was Suga's turn... Rip my heart.

But in some part, you rushed things. Remember this, readers pour into their imagination everything you write.
In chapter 3, "His eyes fling open looking around and he rushed toward the bathroom"
The details were missing and you didn't mentioned how he sat up and threw the blanket away. I imagined him magically appearing on ground and running.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ.
-10/10

I have already expressed my all opinions as reviewer and a reader. I'm soo in love with your book! I will continue reading it as reader and wait for new updates. I feel honoured to read such a masterpiece and I can tell it is definitely going to become famous book in the future. You are very talented and creative! I'm not in position to say this but please don't delete it again. The story touched my heart. The banners are pretty too. My last advise: Write first letter of every word in capital letter of chapter titles/names.

TOTAL MASKS: 80.5/100

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