Cover: 01/05 

The cover isn’t pretty or attractive, and it didn’t suit your story theme very well. 

The bokeh effect was overdone and wasn’t appropriate. It did not look good against the light black silhouettes of the boy and girl. Also, the font used for the title and subtitle isn’t beautiful. I suggest going for something more casual and beautiful.

The subtitle’s placement isn’t perfect either. It is quite distractive. How about placing it lower? The font and color isn’t good either; it doesn’t go with the bokeh effect and the color of the background.

The picture you’ve used also doesn’t match the love-hate vibe the book initially gives. I suggest changing to something which goes along with it. Or you could take some help from graphic shops.

Title: 04/05 

Seeing the way the story proceeds, I think the title is quite appropriate for the book. 

Considering the blurb and a few mentions of incidents that took place in Australia, I’m assuming that Sydney is heartbroken, or at least afraid of liking another boy. 

But the start doesn’t give off the same vibes your title does; subtle hints of a broken heart could’ve been provided to link it to the title. 

Synopsis: 8.5/10 

The synopsis was quite enticing and it got me interested too. It is written perfectly and looks very nice.

The only problem was that when read for the first time, it gives off the impression of the cliche playboy-romance stories, and your story is quite different from that. Though the initial theme is that, I would like you to draw its attention to the unique aspect of your book.

Also, the only mistakes I found was 

“will the schools playboy be able to stop playing around” 

It should’ve been “school’s playboy” 

“Their was much more depth to the bubbly girl then meets the eye”

It is “There was much more depth to the bubbly girl than what meets the eye”

Execution: 08/10 

The plot execution was quite nice. It was very impressive; it expressed the right emotions and the development was really nice. 

But, the way you abruptly start the new chapter without any links from the previous chapters is confusing sometimes. Especially the day Sydney’s mother was nowhere to be found. The next episode is quite confusing, considering how Sydney was hysterical the previous day, and in the next episode, they go ice-skating. In the coming episode her mom has been mentioned, but that doesn’t explain where and when they found her. 

I suggest justifying it somewhere along the story. 

Plot: 15/20 

The plot isn’t completely unique. 

It starts off as a playboy flirting with the normal girl who likes no attention. It seems like a common plot with a playboy-shy girl romance. But as the story proceeds, it gets more unique. 

I like the bond between Sydney and her brother, her sister and her step-mother. It adds a lot more life to the story, and the depiction is quite nice. 

Cameron’s and Sydney’s bond is cute too; the way Syd is mad at Cam all the time is a nice change. It is not quite common, and it’s good to see her being so nonchalant and ignoritive towards Cam, who is a popular and handsome boy. 

I hope the story will unfold to reveal a unique and beautiful plot despite the cliche theme. 

The pace of the plot was perfect too. Though it was abrupt sometimes, it was still suitable for the story..

Writing Style: 18/20 

Your writing style is quite impressive. It is very enjoyable and it’s beautiful.

First, it made the book very nice. The way the things were portrayed, the scenes were defined, and the emotions were expressed is quite beautiful. 

The emotions conveyed were really amazing, they were quite impactful and made the story alive. The descriptions were nice too, they added to the beauty of the book. The way the characters and the scenes were described were nice too.

But, the way you jumped to a completely new day and time, without telling about what happened earlier, is confusing.

Like, the way you started the chapter with ice-skating was confusing since in the previous chapter, Sydner was worried sick about her mom, and she did not find her. Though she has been mentioned in the coming chapters, which tell that they eventually found her, it doesn’t tell where and how they all found her. 

Also, Nick disappeared when Sydney fell down in the ice rink. It isn’t cleared either. 

It would be better if you ever mention these things in the future chapters.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 17/20 

Another factor which greatly contributed in making your story appealing and emotionally packed, is the grammar and vocabulary. 

Your vocabulary is quite good; your choice of words are appropriate and made the story quite enjoyable. You were able to use the right words in the right situation, which was impressive.

Your grammar is good too; the mistakes were mere carelessness or lack of proof-reading. 

The only mistakes you made were the ones I spotted in the blurb, and the following:

“Were” instead of “we’re”

“Today he was one of those rare days when he was already up…” It should be “it” instead of “he”.

“How many times have he come over when the rest of the guys are around?” It would be “has” instead of “have”

“He was saving up for collage” the word “college” is misspelled here. 

I suggest proofreading once again, since the grammatical, tense, and typing mistakes were a lack of editing and proof-reading.

Characters & Development: 09/10 

The characters are portrayed very well. 

Sydney comes off as a cute, bubbly and charming girl. She is her brother’s favourite, and she seems very cute and cool around him. The way everyone is so loving and caring towards her is also an indication towards her good nature. 

The way she doesn’t develop feelings for Cameron abruptly and takes time to start liking him. She is also quite skeptical about his false assumption of her having a crush on him. She is also ignorant to his flirting, and doesn’t like getting his attention, but this lasts till he saves her in the ice-rink. It isn’t abrupt, but more justified due to the events taking place.

Her brother is quite nice and caring, responsible and affectionate towards her. It is displayed very well when Sydney is flipping out. His character is stable throughout till now, and it’s nice to watch him care for her. I like the way you portrayed him, it’s impressive.

Cameron is a playboy, according to the blurb. Though his attitude and behaviour totally convinces one that he is a playboy. But, he isn’t seen playing around with anyone except Sydney, which is weird. I suggest adding more to his playboy character to make it appropriate. 

Total: 80.5/100 

Final Note: 

The book is fairly good. It is really nice and the execution and writing is amazing. I suggest proof-reading to avoid small mistakes. Also, it would be better to explain the suspense in the previous chapters.