"Oh, wow. This is so crazy. This is like... It's like O.J," Greg said with a worried grin, purely fuelled by the adrenaline after Kendall's press release. "I- I mean, if O.J. never killed anyone," he then rationalised, sitting in the backseat of the car he was in with Kendall and his assistant Jess who sat behind them further.

"Who said I never killed anyone? Juice is loose baby!" Kendall cheered, laughing at the nervous boy next to him.

Kendall was manic.

Greg however, was far too concerned with his career, his reputation amongst the rest of the Roy family and smoothing out his relationship with Tilly who was currently trying to not berate him over text. After Kendall's stunt, Logan had called him in order to find out whether he'd consider retracting his statement. When Kendall said no, Logan asked if he was bluffing about having evidence and Kendall responded that Greg had made copies of several documents during Thanksgiving. After finding out about this, Tilly was infuriated.

Greg Hirsch
I'm sorry Til

Greg Hirsch
I had no idea he was going
to do that up there I swear

you gave him the documents

Greg Hirsch
Yeah but like I wasn't the one
who suggested bringing them
up to the press though

but you were the one who gave
him those documents and he's
using them against Waystar

Greg Hirsch
Shouldnt you be happy
he's bringing light to what
happened?

Greg Hirsch
Especially since you were
a pretty big part of it

Greg Hirsch
Why are you upset?

im upset because you had proof
of what happened to me this
entire fucking time and never
said anything about it

Tilly was in New York on 'Team Damage Control' with Gerri, Shiv and Roman. Logan had already sent in a contractor to take over her day-to-day role in cruises and ordered her to spend all of her time on the issue at hand. The tension between the family was far too explosive for her to ask if this meant she was promoted or demoted, she simply nodded and did as she was told like a good dog. She'd never been invited into Logan's office before, but Roman and Gerri insisted that they set up base camp in there. Shiv would come into the office quite frequently too, like today. Feeling the vibration of her phone in her pocket, she apologised to the three before she answered the impending call from Tom.

"A little birdy told me you've been screwing Kendall... But now he's the one screwing all of us," Tom said as she picked up the phone. Matilda knew from that one sentence Tom wouldn't be engaging in any conversation she deemed safe in front of Roman, Shiv and Gerri, so she excused herself from the office to take the call outside.

"Was this the same little birdy that screwed you over by handing out copies of the shadow logs like fucking charity pamphlets?" Tilly retorted quietly.

"No, fuck Greg. Roman told me on the boat and I was surprised because I didn't think you had it in you... But is this really your whole game plan? You think you're going to win by fucking your way to the top?" He laughed, causing her to turn towards Roman through the large glass office and give him her middle finger.

Roman didn't know who she was talking to or what she was talking about, although he couldn't sit there without retaliating. Miming a handjob motion, he stuck out his tongue and pretended to receive a fake cum shot – mocking her by acting out their secret rendezvous from the night earlier. It somehow seemed even more inappropriate given he was sitting in Logan's leather chair with his feet propped up on the desk.

She wondered what it would be like if Roman bent her over that desk and fucked her. God, she only dreamt. Her mind subconsciously flicked to Kendall, and she knew exactly what it would be like.

She rolled her eyes at him before turning around, "You still believe we're playing the same game, don't you Tom?"

"Are we not?"

"The reason you're in this Tommy boy, is because you're playing to win... I'm just playing to survive, I'm playing because I have to," she admitted.

"What are you saying then?" Tom asked.

"What I'm saying is, I can help you win if you just make sure I stay in the game. I'll keep you safe, I'm not team Ken on this one," she stated plainly.

"You, keeping me safe? Uh huh sure, but I can't just take your word for it. How do I know I can trust you?" He asked, slightly unconvinced in her strategy.

"You married your wife after taking her word that she wasn't cheating on you. And you took Greg's word that he shredded all that evidence but look who ran into Kendall's arms with those very same documents... You don't have a great track record when it comes to putting your faith in the right people Tom," she huffed.

Tom was taken aback at what she had said, partly because of her boldness in speaking to him (which he was silently proud of), and mostly due to her knowing about Shiv's infidelity. He didn't think that it was common knowledge amongst the family, let alone to Matilda. He desperately wanted to demand her to tell him who told her, but this call was business.

"Then prove me wrong. Come join ATN and I'll make you head of digital. I know the network doesn't resonate with your little libtard agenda but I know that you wanted to move into that field. Plus it's away from the on fire trash can that is cruises right now. And it's away from traditional news so it'll look great on anyone's resume regardless of the brand. But hey, if it all turns to shit you can tell me to go fuck myself, leave ATN and my streak of bad decisions will remain," Tom offered.

"What does Logan think?" She asked, knowing that Tom was in Sarajevo with him.

"Logan? Logan loves the idea. We have Logan's full support," he responded.

She wasn't convinced.

"Is that so? Well, tell Logan that he can ask me to join ATN and I will," she said cockily before hearing rustling sounds through the speaker and Tom's quiet mumbling in the background.

"Don't be fucking difficult Matilda, I need you heading up digital," Logan grumbled into the receiver before more rustling. Tom's smug voice returned, "I guess that's your confirmation then, congratulations young grasshopper."

It was strangely warming to hear Logan say 'I need you' to her. ATN was his baby. He'd only ever let the best of the best into the team so she was flattered and overwhelmed that this promotion wasn't just Tom using her to climb the ranks, Logan was involved.

Tom told her to give Shiv 'a big kiss' from him, tell her that he loves her and then hung up the phone quickly. She smiled to herself at how weird her boss was in private, showing that side to only a few people. In most work scenarios he was a pretty serious guy, but to herself and Greg he was more relaxed. And well, he was more strange.

"Was that little lord fuckleroy?" Roman pressed once she entered the office again.

"It was Wambsgans, he wanted to talk about my role in cruises now that Frank is taking over the clean up. Also Siobhan, he wanted me to quote on quote, give you a big kiss and say I love you," Matilda chuckled.

"I for one, want to see that request actioned," Roman butted in, raising his hand as if he were answering a teachers question back in middle school.

"You want to watch your sister kiss another woman?" Gerri reiterated, glaring over at him in disgust.

"Yep. And you know what Gerri? You should join in too for good measure," he added smugly.

Shiv scoffed in disgust at her brother, making such crude jokes despite the sexual misconduct allegations surrounding their company. Gerri declined Roman's twisted request, telling the group that they should pack up for the day and get some well deserved rest. Tilly thanked Gerri personally before she left the large glass office.

"Do you follow Ken on Twitter?" Shiv asked as she stared down at her phone. It surprised Tilly that she even realised she was walking behind her, like a sixth sense.

"I don't have Twitter," she said as she walked a little faster to catch up to Shiv who held her phone out for Tilly to read:

    
@RealKendallRoy
Shits about to get nut nut

"What's nut nut?" Tilly asked Shiv, who gave her an exaggerated shrug, sigh and head shake in response.

"You can call me Shiv by the way. You're basically family now that you're so involved with our mess," Shiv offered as she walked with her into the elevator.

"I don't know if I should say thank you or run for the hills after hearing that," she joked in response.

"Oh no, I meant like- Tom and Greg level of family... Not even their level to be honest, just- You're one of us now is what I meant to say. Inner circle," Shiv explained.

It was a conflict of emotions when she said that, that Matilda was one of them. The Roy's were notorious for being vindictive and callous, genius and revolutionary. What side to the Roy family was she referring to she wondered, the light or the dark?

"I'm in Tribeca, you want a lift?" Shiv offered as she exited the elevator and walked to her chauffeured car parked directly out the front.

"I'm way further up north. Thanks though," she smiled.

"Oh, like... Harlem?" Shiv asked warily. She knew that Matilda wasn't on the same level as her family when it came to finances but she presumed that because she dressed quite nicely and wore designer brands, she wouldn't live in such a terrible borough.

"No, no, not that far up. I'm in the Upper West Side," she corrected. Tilly was still relatively new to New York so she didn't know the reputations each borough had or what the connotations of Harlem were; yet Shiv's tone of voice said it all.

"Oh! Oh, thank god. I was almost going to have a heart attack just thinking about what it would be like living in Harlem," Shiv laughed in relief.

She encouraged Tilly to join her in the car and that she would get out along the way, explaining that the drivers were on call for their every need anyways so they might as well take advantage. Tilly's apartment was a 34 minute drive from the office or a 30 minute subway journey, so she always took the train to work to save money. It gave her time to listen to her music, scroll through social media and ease into work mode. Shiv and Tom however, only lived a mere 6 minute walk away according to Google Maps, yet they were driven to work every single day.

Shiv was in the car for 3 whole minutes.
During rush hour.

Once Shiv had gotten out of the car, Matilda gave the driver her address and politely thanked him for taking the rest of the way home. The windows were tinted darker than any other car she'd been in, which made sense when she thought about it because only the rich and famous got driven around everywhere. She often forgot she fell into that category now, becoming 'rich' overnight. It was still a novelty for her to have a private chauffeur. As was majority of the 'every day' things the Roy family had exposed her to. They simply didn't live normal lives.

Helicopters were not a normal mode of transportation to the rest of the world. Tilly would never had even dreamt of taking a helicopter to the airport instead of dealing with traffic, or flying to the Hamptons for a weekend getaway.

Impromptu holidays were not normal. Holidays were always planned several months in advance for her, if not a year to ensure she could save enough money to afford it when the time came. She didn't have access to a trust fund that paid for lavish trips overseas. She took economy class flights, often at the worst times of the day as they were cheaper and she would stay in mid-range hotels or AirBnB's to keep costs lower.

A team of personal staff at her beck and call was not normal. She did her own grocery shopping, she cooked her own meals and she took out the trash like any other person. She cleaned her own apartment, she scheduled her own meetings and she most definitely did her own fashion styling. Having someone curate her wardrobe for her felt so artificial and fake.

Roman Roy
Where do you live?

Roman Roy
I'm coming over

gross

west 67th and columbus
       

The driver pulled up at her building and insisted that she call whenever she needed a ride. Apparently if she booked via a specific number, it would automatically get billed to the Roy's account. She thanked him for the heads up despite doubting she'd ever need to call for a private car herself. She liked the subway, even if it wasn't clean, or quiet, or air-conditioned. Nor did it smell like Ocean Breeze.

Kendall Roy
Heard you're back in NYC...
Catch up at mine?

sorry K, just made plans.
you should probs get a good
night of sleep, its been kinda
crazy for you this past week

Kendall Roy
You're right

Kendall Roy
That's why I thought it
could be nice to see you

Kendall Roy
;)

sleep > sex
trust me you need it

The intercom inside her apartment buzzed not long after she had gotten home, the doorman in the lobby alerting her to the fact a man named Roman Roy was here to see her. She thanked him for letting her know and hung up before sliding on a pair of slippers to go downstairs to get him. Roman was wearing a different outfit to the one he was wearing at work, though his hair was exactly the same. He had changed into a black t-shirt and grey tailored pants cinched in with a belt. She couldn't help but to notice that he was not wearing socks, which meant he was 'slutting it up' by showing 'ankle cleavage'.

"Do you own your place in this building?" Roman asked as he met her in the elevator, watching her fingers as they pressed the button to a level higher than he had expected her to live.

She nodded with a quiet 'mhm', looking at him with slight confusion to why he was questioning her – neither of them had even said hello to one another. Was home ownership something that the rich elite discussed as small talk? Did they look down on those who rented their mansions instead of buying them? Probably.

"I could literally walk to my place from here, I'm up on 70th and Amsterdam. I'm kind of surprised you're an Upper West Sider too... Waystar must be overpaying you," he taunted, looking at himself in the mirror and swiping his fingers along his hair.

"Fuck off. Unlike someone, I didn't spend fucking, twenty million dollars on my apartment. Shiv assumed I lived in fucking Harlem today... Y'know most of us didn't grow up with billionaires for fathers," she scoffed, leaning on the railing of the elevator.

"Twenty eight," he corrected, looking back at her through the mirrored reflection.

"You spent twenty eight million dollars on your apartment?! Why are we not going there tonight?" She exclaimed, confused as to why Roman asked to come over in the first place.

"Because my family knows where I live and I don't want them coming anywhere near me right now. Why are you so shocked anyway? How much was your place?" He asked as they exited the lift and walked down the hall to her apartment.

"I ended up getting a loan for eight and a half million. It's the most I've ever spent on anything in my life," she lied. The price wasn't the lie — the fact she 'got a loan' was.

"Actually? Fuck, that's more than Tabitha's and she reeks of rich trust fund baby..." he trailed, surprised that she was richer than he thought.

"Oh, this is Parker by the way," she said as she opened the door to a small ragdoll cat sitting in the doorway waiting for her to return. She walked past him and kicked off her slippers, turning around to see Roman still in the doorway looking down at the cat.

"It's staring at me," he said, almost with an air of disgust. Or perhaps it was discomfort.

"Just walk past him... He won't scratch you or anything," she chuckled.

"But it looks angry," he continued. It was definitely discomfort, Roman was uneasy being near the cat.

"He is an innocent little fluff ball, he wouldn't even touch a fly... Are you not a cat person?" She said scooping up her cat to let Roman come inside freely.

"I'm not an anything person. I'm a... fucking, blowjob and caviar person. I dunno, the closest thing we ever had to pets were farm animals at Mom's place. And Dad viewed animals as hunting targets so I don't know what to do with them when they're like, alive and inside your home. They're all fucking weird and creepy, like fuck, why do they always just stare at you?" he complained.

"You Roman Roy, are not a blowjob person," she disagreed, walking through the open plan apartment to the kitchen and ignoring his tangent on his dislike towards pets.

"Oh yeah? And how would you know?" He retorted, leaning against the island bench as she poured him a glass of water. He thanked her before sipping from the cup, tapping his finger against it with his ring as he inspected her home. Roman was pleasantly surprised by the classiness to her apartment, it had much more prestige and style than he'd anticipated.

"Okay fine, get it out and I'll suck you off now then," she said smugly, knowing that he wouldn't.

"God, you're such a fucking pervert Matilda. Look at you trying to get my dick out, two seconds after inviting me inside," he scoffed, leaving the kitchen and roaming his way into the living room.

He made himself at home as quickly as she'd had known Roman to do in any situation, taking his jacket off and draping it over the back of a nearby armchair. He extended his arms out either side of him as he yawned, his shirt stretching tightly against his back and arms. Tilly hated that she caught herself staring, but it wasn't often Roman wore something as casual as a t-shirt. That being said, his t-shirt was probably made of the highest quality material possible and cost more than her entire outfit.

"You know what would make me a blowjob person?" He said looking down at his phone. "If I got one at the worst possible timing one could think of," he smirked, turning his phone towards her to show her the incoming FaceTime call from Kendall.

"Not a fucking chance," she brushed off.

"What's the difference between this and you cumming in front of my family in Switzerland? They're both equally as fucked up situations," Roman reasoned as he settled down on the lounge.

"You're such a freak," she sighed. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"Uh, no but I'll get something later tonight, don't worry... Also, fuck you. You can't say shit like that and expect me to not get hard," he scoffed before finally answering the call.

She shook her head as she walked back to the kitchen, deciding to whip up a pasta dish for the two of them. Cooking was something she indulged in during her time in Florida. Graduating college with the culinary skills of a degenerate who ate packet noodles every night and drank Vodka and Gatorade more than water, she decided that she would become 'a proper adult' and teach herself new recipes each week.

She'd been to Italy with her family as a young teenager and it was quick to become her all time favourite country. Perhaps it was the rich culture and delectable cuisine that reeled her in, or perhaps it was one of the scarce moments that she remembered spending quality time with both of her parents. It was a pity she had only been in Italy for a mere 28 hours less than a week ago, she would've loved to explore.

When she was searching for a property in New York, she was adamant in having the kitchen of her dreams, regardless of how much use it got throughout the week. She knew that at the very least she would be cooking on her ritualistic Sunday nights. Roman's FaceTime call was relatively quiet so she couldn't hear what Kendall was saying, she could only hear Roman's responses since he was so loud.

"Do you like seafood?" She called out to him before disappearing into her walk in pantry to retrieve a handful of ingredients.

"Uh huh!" He called back out in return, turning back to his phone where Shiv and Connor had now joined the call.

Parker, her gentle furry companion had meandered its way over to the couch to sit next to Roman, which made him quite unsettled. Why was this fucking thing staring at him so much? What did it want? Roman tried to not look at it, but its purring was distracting. Frustrated, he reached over and poked its head, which it barely reacted to, before he held his finger in front of the cats nose for it to smell.

"Where are you Ro?" Connor asked curiously, moving his face even closer to the camera as he inspected his screen.

"Tilly's holding me captive and forcing me to be her sex slave. It's not all bad though, when she's not shoving a dildo up my ass, she's molesting her cat instead," Roman said in a twisted attempt at a joke. He flipped the camera to show them Parker, poking its forehead again and laughing.

Parker didn't mind, he just blinked sheepishly.

"You're sick, you know that right?" Shiv interrupted.

"Aw, look at that little guy! Hey Wil, come look at this!" Connor called out.

The kitten flopped onto his side and curled its body towards Roman, the high pitched trill begging for scratches. He knew that patting a dog was different to patting a cat although stroking its belly with the very tips of his fingers barely made any impact. Parker rubbed his head along the back of Roman's hand, purring loudly before Kendall called for everyone's attention.

"Guys... Can we just, get back on track here?" Kendall sighed.

Meanwhile, Matilda had poured a decent amount of flour onto her bench top and added eggs, olive oil and salt to knead together. She hummed quietly to herself as she flattened the dough, rolling her eyes as she heard Roman mention her name in the same sentence as dildo and sex slave. She hadn't been paying attention but she knew that Roman was most likely making another one of his twisted jokes.

Making pasta from scratch was something she always felt proud of, it gave her meals just that extra little bit of homemade love. Growing up she always had home cooked meals by her mother, eating together at the dinner table whilst her Dad's plate sat on the bench for him to heat up once he got home. There were times she remembered waking up for school in the morning and seeing the plate still there. "Time doesn't exist in politics" her father would always say, using it as the reason for all of his late nights, weekend work and interstate travel.

As she grew up, she started to put two and two together. She started to question whether the pills Mommy took were for chronic headaches after all. Or why Daddy spent more and more time at work, often having 'sleepovers' in the office. One thing led to another and she lost that naive veil of childhood innocence, realising that her mother had a crippling addiction to prescription medication and her father was cheating on his wife with a multitude of women.

But as the cycle of untreated trauma flowed from generation to generation, Tilly became a workaholic like both of her parents. She would disagree though. She abused illegal drugs and she avoided getting romantically involved with anyone. Considering herself to be more stable than her parents however, she only did drugs on the weekends and she chose to not get into relationships. So in her mind, she still had complete control.

"Hold on a second, I'm confused. Is Matilda your girlfriend now?" Connor asked Roman.

"Fuck no, she's screwing Ken," Roman scoffed.

"Wait, seriously?" Shiv said furrowing her brows. This was news to her. She had to tell Tom. Surely Tom would not have known this juicy piece of gossip she thought.

"So you're dating her Kenny?" Connor asked.

"I don't think she'd date someone who only fucks her when he's high," Roman taunted.

"No to Con, yes to Shiv and to Roman, fuck you, at least I can fuck women in general," Kendall answered bluntly.

Roman shuffled down the lounge and laid down on his back, resting one of his legs over the back of the couch and keeping the other one straightened. He found it comfortable; he found it very comfortable until Parker had stepped onto his stomach and curled up to sleep. At first Roman thought he should push the creature off of him and inspect his shirt for damage, but he didn't. He just remained as still as he could and watched Parker close his little eyes tiredly.

"So if you're sleeping with her Ken, why is Roman at her house?" Connor asked again.

"Because Kendall is a soy boy beta cuck who joined the dark side and betrayed us all," Roman spat.

"I don't understand any of this right now," Connor groaned.

Parker woke up and opened his eyes worriedly as he heard Roman raise his voice, drifting back to sleep only seconds after. From then on, Roman consciously tried to speak quieter for the stupid cats sake, his hand subconsciously moving to rub the side of its cheek gently as he listened to his siblings bicker.

"This literally doesn't fucking, matter at all right now. What does matter, is convincing the shareholders that Dad isn't fit to run the firm and the cover ups were very much under our watch," Kendall segued.

"Our watch? I didn't let girls get raped on our fucking cruises," Shiv remarked.

"He's not saying that we're directly responsible, Shiv," Connor sighed, knowing how worked up his sister could get when she felt blamed.

Kendall was adamant and determined, "But the guys, Dad, Mo, the wolf pack... We knew. The jokes and the vibe to women and to the... to the grubby fat-asses who took the cruises. The blind eye and the payoffs and the hush-hush about Dad's pals, or foreign workers who got crushed like, uh, like meat in a fucking grinder, with zero training, and the border barrel, and "clean out the rats in the hold". And you know, no, it wasn't our fault. And you... you wanna pretend your shit doesn't stink, be my guest, but... but we..."

"We knew something was up," Roman shamefully agreed.

"Thank you. We knew what those guys in Dad's study were laughing about," Kendall continued.

"I didn't know that dancers were fucking for their jobs, or that we threw fucking migrants off boats and covered it up as a matter of secret company policy. So no, I didn't know what they were laughing about," Shiv protested.

"Don't you remember we used to say 'Don't get in the pool with Mo' when we were kids?" Roman questioned monotonously.

He was half distracted by Matilda on the other side of the apartment in the kitchen. She seemed so content and calm doing tedious 'chores' like cooking. Lightly searing the assortment of seafood in a frying pan, she added freshly chopped herbs, garlic and lemon before turning back to the dough she had made earlier. She seemed so relaxed in the kitchen, happy to be making dinner for the two of them. Roman couldn't think of the last time he had someone cook him a homemade meal other than those he paid.

His mother Caroline often made meals for them as kids whenever they visited. They were always variations of traditional meals consisting of some type of meat and roasted vegetables. It was all very, British.

"I didn't get in the pool with any of those fucking creeps," Shiv hissed.

"Well yeah. Because he let a gang of creeps run cruises," Kendall retaliated.

"No, Kendall, cos I was 15," she snapped.

Tilly had placed a large metallic pasta maker on the bench, slowly beginning to roll the dough through it to cut it into flat strands of fettuccine. She looked over at Roman and smiled when he pointed to the curled up kitten asleep on his stomach. He'd warmed up to the little fluff ball so quickly.

Fresh pasta cooked much faster than processed packet pasta, so once Tilly had strained it, she fished it up into two seperate bowls for them. She carefully made her way to the living room since she thought sitting at the dining room table would feel weirdly formal with Roman. He was still laying down with the cat, angling his phone camera down to frame his unflattering double chin and watching himself on the screen pull faces instead of listen to Kendall's pitch.

"Alright well I'd apologise for having to leave this wonderful call to go and eat dinner, but I quite literally couldn't give a single fuck about anything being said here," Roman grinned, hanging up without saying goodbye.

Roman was quietly elated at the fact she had cooked for him. People always did it in sappy romantic comedies and as much as he hated the idea of it, he did yearn for it. He mostly just hated the fuss around it. You know, how people would make a huge ordeal about how homemade meals were the ultimate symbol of love and happiness and all the other sucky bullshit? He just wanted that same affection to happen quietly, without letting it go unnoticed.

For example, he wouldn't mind buying a girl flowers. He bought Grace bouquets of flowers a fair few times. She always made it a big dramatic event whenever he did, gushing and thanking him over and over. It made him feel overwhelmed and honestly, it made him not want to do it again. He'd much prefer to give a girl some dumb flowers and receive a quick yet sincere thank you in return. He didn't get why romance always had to be some giant grand gesture.

"Do you mind if I smoke on the balcony?" Roman asked once they had finished their meal. She had turned on the speakers in her living room to play music quietly as they ate, which he was relieved at because he was petrified of small talk.

Even people he'd known for years, had to endure Roman's horrible small talk.

Tilly didn't think Roman smoked. She had never seen him smoke, nor had she ever heard about it. But she nodded and followed him out to the balcony to join him. After all, the most unlikely conversations happened when people were smoking together.

"I uh, I don't do the same level of shit Kendall does but this takes the edge off every so often," Roman admitted as he pulled a vape from his pants pocket. "Also thanks for cooking."

"No worries. Is it THC?" She asked.

He nodded in response.

She had noticed Roman was a little more stressed than usual since he became sole COO. His inappropriate remarks and jokes became more sinister to those on the other end of his firing line. Luckily for her, she was used to it. They passed the vape between them, inhaling the marijuana and letting it flow into their lungs. She coughed a fair bit which she got embarrassed about; only made worse when Roman teased her for 'coughing like a fucking teenager'.

"Can I ask something?" She finally asked after clearing her throat.

"Fire away Til-Dog, doesn't mean I'll answer," he shrugged, spinning the vape between his fingers the same way he fiddled with his pens during work meetings.

"You never like, slept with Tabitha and you rarely slept with Grace..."

Roman grimaced with furrowed brows and a discerned look on his face, "That's not a question."

"Shut up, I'm not done. I wanna know how you could fuck random people but not them," she finished.

She knew that Roman rarely opened up to her unless he had been drinking. Or was under the influence of heavy pain killers after losing a tooth. So when the drugs hit her, she knew he'd been feeling the same filterless sensation she was.

"You're so lucky we're high... Uh, fuck, well I guess because random people don't fucking matter? If it's good, cool. If it's bad, I'll never see them again. It's not super intimate either because we don't fucking know each other and there's no like, cards on the table. There's nothing to lose," he shrugged.

"But you and Tabs seemed so touchy... She'd sit on your lap and you'd be all snuggly and PDA-y together, isn't that intimate?" Tilly questioned.

"I don't fucking know how my brain works. I had a yoga teacher suck me off in the supply closet at work and I was fine but one time Tabitha visited me in the office, tried to hug me and I felt grossed out for the rest of the day. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm just- I'm fucked," he answered, throwing his arms up and chucking in defeat.

"Depends on the day?"

"I mean, yeah. Depends on the day, my mood, the person, the situation, everything," Roman shrugged. "You can always try to analyse me but I don't have all the fucking answers for you. If I had any idea what was going on up there, my therapist wouldn't be as rich as he is," Roman joked as he tapped the side of his forehead with his finger.

"How come you didn't have 'good' moments with Tabitha?" She asked yet again.

"Why are we still talking about this?"

"I'm just curious! You're like the most sexual person I know but you don't have sex," she exclaimed, laughing as she took the vape from his hand and took a deep inhale.

She didn't cough this time.
Success.

"I have sex. I just, don't do it a lot. Something about sticking my dick into people just doesn't get me all hot and bothered. Tabs blew me a bunch of times, it was just like, 'hey get on your knees' and she'd be like 'okay' and it was all gravy. I liked it when it was kind of like, meaningless. Like, 'oh it's just a stupid silly little blowjob who cares' y'know? I hated it whenever she asked to do stuff though. She was way too into it. I'd rather get a handjob in a fucking, golf cart than be in some bedroom naked and exposed and fucking, looking into someone's eyes all lovey dovey. It's fucking gross," he rambled.

"Ew, even the way you explain sex sounds gross," she laughed.

"Is that not what sex is? Being naked and exposed and vulnerable and gross?" He mocked.

"I don't have sex like that..."

"What, you don't have sex naked?" Roman taunted, cocking his eyebrow up in amusement. He knew how easy it was to wind her up. He pinched the vape back from her and rolled his eyes when she frowned.

"Not all the time, no... But I meant the open and vulnerable part," she corrected.

"Ah ha! You're just as weird about sex as I am," he said enthusiastically, as if he'd uncovered buried treasure on a desert island – way too excitedly.

"I actually have sex though, but I don't become 'all lovey dovey' like you said. I get in, get out. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am," she concluded, brushing her hands together and laughing.

"Ma'am? You telling me you've fucked women?" Roman asked raising his eyebrow and smirking around the lip of the vape.

"I...'m not answering that. My point is, the lovey dovey stuff during sex is like... For people in relationships... I don't do the whole relationshippy thing," she retorted.

It was true, Matilda had only ever had two relationships in her whole life. The first one was in eighth grade to a scrawny boy named Joseph Chesterfield, who bought her something from the cafeteria every day as a present. It lasted four months. The second, and more serious of the two, was from age 19 to 21. The whole relationship felt so forced though, it didn't feel like something she naturally wanted to be in.

"So you and Kendall just wear paper bags over your heads whilst you pound one out?" He said exhaling a cloud of smoke from his lips.

Tilly crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him with heavy eyelids. "Fuck off, I just don't have sex with emotions involved. Anyway, this isn't about me, this is about you... How come you have one night stands but not with your girlfriends?"

"You've already asked me this you stoned little bitch. When it's a one night stand in fucking, Belgium or something, with someone I'll never see again, it doesn't mean anything. Plus, everyone wants to fuck me... See? You're giving me fucky eyes right now," he alluded smugly.

"Fucky eyes? No I'm not," she scoffed.

"Yeah you are, you're making fucky eyes, you're all like-" Roman began before imitating her. He was definitely overplaying it with the fluttering of the eyes.

"I'm just high, go fuck yourself," she whined, taking the lead to walk back inside from the balcony. It wasn't too cold outside, but the wind was brisk once the sun had set. No amount of weed could warm them from that.

Roman followed her, "No thanks, that's your job."

"My job?" She repeated in bewilderment.

"Yeah I'm your boss so what I say, goes," he taunted.

She shook her head before falling down onto the couch, leaning her head on the arm rest and bending her knees up, "You're a fucking moron."

"Careful now, you're sounding just like Pop," Roman joked as he sat next to her, pulling her legs over his lap for them to straighten out.

He didn't ask to move them and she didn't comment about it. Not did she recoil or insinuate anything. It was simply a small, reciprocated act of affection that happened quietly and without going unnoticed.

Just how he liked it.

"Sounds like Daddy Issues," she teased as he tapped his hands against her shins, drumming a gentle rhythm to the music playing in the background.

"You and me both."