SELF LOVE, SELF LOVE , SELF LOVE 

But How To? 

Not once, twices, a thousand times when reading posts of love yourself,  we question ourselves How to Love Yourself?

You, a person, an individual, an identity, a personality, a set of traits and behaviours, you build it, the environment you were raised in and live in, people of your life, everything together built you up, and you might hate a lot of things about it. 

So How do we love ourselves? How do You Love Yourself?

I am Snow, A student of Psychology for 3 years, who will tell you the easiest way to achieve results in loving yourself.

Even though altering thoughts and behaviours are a lengthy process, these things to work also need constant effort and practise. So let's embark on the journey to love yourself. 

"We feel sorry because we cry, angry because we strike, afraid because we tremble, and not that we cry, strike, or tremble because we are sorry, angry, or fearful, as the case may be." –Willam James, American Psychologist,(1884)

Emotions, LOVE is an emotion, According to James-Lange Theory of Emotions (1884,1885) our emotions consist of our physical responses, though emotions and physiological changes happens very simultaneous in our brain and body, James-Lange believed that physical reactions are key to our emotions and that, without them, our experiences would be “pale, colourless, destitute of emotional warmth.”

Human brain is a very tricky mechanism, so the easiest way is to trick it into believing that you love yourself and thus the brain over time generates a positive message everytime you look at yourself, and assess yourself, this theory suggests if you can alter the way you perceive the physiological changes, you can alter the emotions.

“Fake it till you Make it” 

For this you need to Fake it, start say yourself in the mirror,  on the walks, randomly throughout your day, that “I love myself” be like Kim Seokjin, give yourself compliments, give yourself affirmations,  do if in front of your friends, one even as a joke a friend of your says, “I hate myself” or “I hate my life” say it out aloud, “I Love myself, My life” you will reject others negativity, and embrace your positive, smile until it becomes real, say “I love you” until you love yourself.

This theory can also be used to influence other emotions, such as a nervous and exciting emotions creates almost same physiological changes in body, you can reinforce the idea that you are excited rather than nervous in such situations, for example:-

When you have to make a stage presence in school or college, or do a presentation in front of class. When you feel sweating or cold shivers, think about how excited you are for this experience, like the FL and ML feels in the romantic sense of a wattpad novel, are they nervous to kiss? No, are they excited to meet? Yes.

You can also track your emotions and reinforce the people or things that give positive views of yourself. 

Does this mean ignoring the negative side or deeds of yours?

Partially Yes, ignore your lacks for sometimes until you are able to reinforce the idea of self love, so that you will be able to work on your flaws with a more positive attitude later on, because doing it the other way around as many people say working on yourself, and your flaws doesn't necessarily helps, as it generates the idea that to love myself I need to be better, instead you need to love what you have before you move forward to better it.

What theory states is Emotions work in 3 steps, these are:-

Perceiving of stimulus: Things/ People/ Situations that draws out an emotional reaction (of any kind)

Physiological Response: Bodily Changes that happen due to the activation of the autonomic nervous system. (Sweating, increased heart rate, etc.)

Emotional Experience: Emotions are experienced right after the physiological changes. For instance, feeling scared is not the cause of increased heart rate but a consequence of it.

Though this theory is not widely accepted in modern psychology, we can make a very good use of this theory in matters of self healing. 

Written by
KimYooNa_BTS_Snow

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