╔═════*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═════╗

something brought you here.
fate. destiny.

──● rapunzel
TANGLED

╚═════*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═════╝

✦

May 5th.

National Day of Awareness for missing and murdered indigenous women and girls. 

Of course, it didn't exactly feel national. Most people barely knew the date. Still, Merlene found some semblance of comfort in wearing red on the day. Her family did it with her every year. The though flickered through her head, pulling at the corner of her mouth. If she vanished, if she was kidnapped or murdered, no stone would go unturned. Despite the fear that seemed to haunt the back of her mind about the idea, there was a deep sense of security and safety here.

Slowly, Merlene drew out her bow, blinking at the target far before her slowly. Beside her, she could sense her archer tutor and therapist draw his own bow. He hadn't said much of anything since they started their session. Then again, he really didn't say much at all. To be fair, neither did Merlene. As much as she knew it was a counseling session, it was always hard to open up. It was getting easier, really, but there was still that little cage around the voice inside her, preventing the screaming, raging feelings to explode onto everyone around her.

Beside her, she heard a voice pierce through her thoughts, "Merlene." It wasn't a question if she was still there, it was almost a grounding demand. "I can hear you thinking. Out with it."

"Today's May 5th." Her bow was tense in her arms, the tension strung high as she held it tighter for a moment. In a breath of a moment she loosed her arrow, watching it shoot above the shimmering grass, landing just left of the target. Fighting back a scowl, she retrieved a new arrow, knocking it. "I don't know how to feel about it. I feel scared, I guess." Merlene's sharp gaze trailed back up to the target beyond her. "It makes me sad I think. And angry. There's never any progress." She raised her bow again, but mental exhuastion prevented it from dragging it back again. "I think that sometimes people just say things. They just say them, and they don't really want to do anything about it at all. I do want to do something, but I also don't know where to start." She stole a glance towards her teacher, before mimicking his own stance as she dropped her bow again, opting to watch his own shot instead.

Cue didn't spare her a glance, instead raising his own bow, a beautiful re-curve. Merlene hadn't really used a lot of re-curve bows, she liked compounds a little better, but someday she hoped to have her own custom re-curve bow. She should ask where Cue got his, maybe she could get it from the same artist. Cue's feet shifted, just barely, but his eyes narrowed towards the target, and his arrow fired off. Merlene tried her best to follow it, but it was fast moving, suddenly embedding itself into the thick fabric of the target. "Do you want to talk more about it?"

Merlene watched his eyes glance back towards her after lingering on the arrow, dropping his bow. Her gaze broke from his after a minute, and she offered a half-hearted shrug, "I'm not really sure if there's more to talk about. The fact of the matter is that no one seems to care about us."

About me.

She knew Cue could read the silent confession, because he was still for a moment, then shortly nodded, retrieving his own arrow. "Keep your stance square, Merlene."

Her eyes flattened at him, biting back another bitter scowl, she drew her bow back again, adjusting her feet before letting the arrow loose again. It hit the target this time at the least, right on the edge of the second ring, letting her thoughts flicker back to her therapist. "Did you always want to be a counselor, Cue?"

"I guess." She watched his own mouth twitch up, a feat in itself, but it vanished after a moment. "I thought it would be interesting."

"And archery?"

"I've always loved archery." Cue dropped his bow again, sighing as he pulled the arrow back to inspect the tip. "Have you thought about why you love archery?"

"I guess." She half-mocked his response from earlier, letting her own bow rest in her arm. She had  though, thought about it. It had been over two months since Cue had first asked the question, it was only a matter of time before she actually found it. "It helps me breathe." Her eyes trailed towards the sky, scattered colors of birds darting through blue skies. "It's not something I have to run towards- in the way where you always are moving in life, you know?" Her eyes closed, feeling the swirling breeze brush through the backgrounds of the Morrigan estate. "It's something I can move slowly in, without feeling pressure to suddenly speed up. I'm not falling behind in archery."

"Do you think you're falling behind in other things?"

"Maybe." Merlene bit her tongue momentarily, hesitance slipping up through her chest, prying at the bars of that cage around her internal thoughts. Her therapy usually did open it, despite her determination to deny it. It was self-preservation. A natural instinct to run, to retreat, to protect herself from any more damage. 

Unfortunately, Cue saw right through her tactics.

He stayed silent, simply selecting a new arrow from his back-bound quiver to fit onto his bow. Merlene's voice felt choked, but she relented. It wasn't worth fighting it anyway. She did like Cue, he was helpful, and he'd granted her request to do their sessions literally right next to their house. He allowed their sessions to be outside. He didn't make her feel like she was some delicate crazy person who needed to be coddled. "Yes."

Yes. I do.

"My siblings are all finding partners."

She could see in her periphial vision, Cue still again for a moment. She wasn't exactly sure what for, but she didn't dwell too heavily on it, watching him quietly draw back his bow again. A slow, sure movement. "Is it hard?"

The question was simple, but Merlene felt the prickling sensation of tears run into her throat. It was hard. Maybe she was a little scared they were going to abandon her. One by one they would leave, and she'd never see them again, and they'd never really be a family again. "Yes." She forced her bow back up, blinking blurrily through the prologue of tears. 

Cue's voice was even, letting his arrow go directly to the target, striking just above his last arrow before he began speaking. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"I don't know." Her response was instant, shoving back any of the emotion that her body begged her to let out. Instead, she took another slow, calming breath, letting her arrow fly to the target. Still on that second ring, but on the opposing side. "I don't want to be left behind. I told my siblings I don't want a relationship, but I think I do. I want someone that I feel safe with."

Cue's silence was heavy, but Merlene felt a bubbling question raise in her mind.

"Did you find someone Cue?"

It was a personal question, but that was something else Merlene kinda liked. Cue answered any question she asked honestly. At least for the most part. Sometimes he was relatively vague, but it felt reassuring knowing that it could get better. It would get better. 

Cue smiled then, dropping his bow. "Yes, I did."

"Are you still with them?"

"I am. She makes me very happy." He picked another arrow out. "I think she hated me a little at first. Or at least pretended too." Cue's smile turned fond, "She's such a brat, I love her more than anything I've ever known." Then raised his bow again, his smile remaining gentle on his face.

Merlene turned back to her bow, some strange sort of relief swelling through her. She was well aware that she had her own flaws. She was sarcastic, and a little angry, and it was hard to imagine for someone to love her. "You do?" She didn't need an answer, that much was obvious. "What's her name?"

"Probably shouldn't tell you that Merlene." He huffed a laugh, adjusting his stance slightly. "But, she did take my last name, and now both of our initials are C. H." he shook his head a little, "Our friends won't stop giving us shit for it."

Her own smile made an appearence, selecting her own desired arrow before knocking it. "I confessed to someone about a year ago." She sighed, soft sickness pooling into her stomach. "She didn't feel the same, and then she never talked to me again." She pushed her bow back up, taking her stance once again. "I guess I'm still scared of rejection. I don't want to be abandoned by someone I've known my entire life just to never talk to them again." The dread didn't feel as heavy anymore, now that the conversation had begun to flood between them. "But I'm too scared of online dating things. I want to meet someone in a real kind of way - not that that can't be real, but it can also be really dangerous and like I said earlier..it just doesn't seem worth the risk." She let her arrow go again, smiling a little when she realized she was inching closer to the center with each thought let go. "How did you meet your wife?"

Cue's laugh was soft again, shaking his head "That's a very long story, and not one I'm going to go into." He just set down his bow for a moment, rolling out his shoulder. "But, Merlene, you shouldn't compare your story to other peoples."

"It's kinda hard not too." Her gaze turned from him, back to the house where she'd grown up. "I'm surrounded by amazing, talented people. They're all finding the love of their lives. I'm happy for them, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I'm being left behind. It's not that I don't feel accomplished, or something like that, I just feel lost." She turned back to her target, sighing again. "I don't want to compare myself to others, but I still do." Merlene shook her head, letting her shoulders slump. "I don't know why."

"Maybe it relates back to your adoption."

"How so?" Merlene did want to understand, deeply so. She wanted to understand the world around her, but more than anything she wanted to understand herself.

She wanted to know herself again.

"You were overlooked in multiple foster homes, transferred more times than you can count, only to end up here." he picked up an arrow, setting aside his bow entirely in favor of inspecting the quill. "And now, you're being left behind again in your love life, and you have to compare yourself to them because why can they get a partner, and you can't?" He blinked up at her, "Have you ever thought that it might be because you compare yourself to your siblings because you want to be less like yourself? Maybe because you feel like they're constantly chosen over you over and over?"

Okay. Ow.

Still. He probably wasn't wrong, even if the thought did sting. It was jealousy she was feeling at the very least. Maybe a little bit of envy, but not because they were in a relationship, but because she wanted to be someone's choice. Anyone's choice. She wanted someone who would pick her over and over again, every day, regardless of how many flaws that bled through her soul like permanent scars. "Probably."

The thought hurt, burning into her chest. A permanent signa in her soul, simply to remind her that she will never become whatever she's searching for. She can't help but think that maybe if she did change, people would like her more. Merlene loves her siblings, irreversibly so, but there's still something that prevents her from really opening up to them. She wants to feel safe enough to do it, just like so many of her other siblings, who've traversed past their traumas in broad, wide strokes, and yet she feels like she's still stuck behind something. 

"I don't know how to fix it."

I don't know how to fix myself.

Merlene forces herself to raise her bow again, letting the silence settle around her. It's a heavy sensation, and it pushes against her arms. That same burning sensation is back in her throat, letting her thoughts run mindlessly. It's the kind of silence where she doesn't have anything to actually say, and even if she did, she wouldn't trust herself to say it. This doesn't have to be that hard, so why does she keep making it that way?

"Merlene."

The voice startles her, enough to send her reflexes into hyper-drive, and she jerks the string of her bow back, releasing it in another unstable moment. The arrow arcs far past the target, into the soft trails off to the back path of forested trails behind her house as he chest hitches from the unexpected motion. "Shit." Frustration bleeds through her words, and she sets her bow down, turning to Cue as she starts on a gentle jog towards the direction of her arrow, "I'll be right back." 

It's true, she could certainly retrieve it after their session, but she needed an excuse to move outwardly for a moment, to run. She understands Junpei in that way, the urge to run, but it's different. Junpei runs for a number of things, she runs because of the freedom of it. Merlene is more of a fighter than a flighter anyway, and she'll probably say a few too many things that she shouldn't in the heat of battle, but it's just not in her to run. Mostly because she knows deep down they're just going to catch her anyway. 

The air is cool around her, and it only takes her a couple feet into the forest to see a discarded a hundred or so feet ahead of her on the path. Mostly because there's someone kneeling next to it. Someone who's got the reigns of their horse in their hand, and a bow slung around his own back along with a quiver, frowning slightly at it.

Suddenly feeling a little defensive over her arrow, Merlene's jog speeds up, slowly to a stop as the boy looks up to her, standing, with her arrow in his hand. She doesn't waste much time, eyes lingering momentarily on the horse before meeting his dark eyes, holding her hand out expectantly. "That's mine."

His eyes trail down to the arrow, before flipping it in his hand, offering it to her with the tip towards him. "I didn't think it was mine."

"Why? Is it not good enough for you?" She snatches it from his hand, the words fire before she even has time to process them, and Merlene decided to momentarily blame it on the fact that she's in the middle of a counseling session, and is feeling particularly defensive. The boy in front of her simply raises his eyebrow, shaking his head as he pulls his own arrow from his quiver. 

"No, they're good quality. I just have all black ones." Then offered the same arrow to her, again tip facing him. They were all black, prettily quilled too. Instead of letting the heat sear up her cheeks, she took the arrow gently, raising it to her eyeline. The boy took it back after she returned it the same way, setting it back in the quiver before holding out his hand. "I'm Vett."

Merlene eyed his hand for a second, hesitant almost, but decidingly shook it. "Merlene." Then turned back to the horse, expectantly stealing a glance back at him.

Vett obviously read between the lines, reaching to pat the roan mare. "This is Scotch." Merlene's next question was momentarily answered. "You can pet her if you'd like. She's relatively sweet actually."

Merlene didn't wait for him to repeat the approval, reaching out to the horse, stroking the neck before going back to the snout, tracing the soft, muted white coloration that dotted it in three firm places. Her thoughts again turned to his bow, inspecting it for a moment. "So you're an archer?"

He nodded, just a dip of his head. "I am. I like it a lot - Although it did take a lot of practice to be able to do it on a horse."

Merlene fought the shock in her chest, scoffing, "You just said that so I would think you're cool."

Vett blinked, then smiled a little, ducking his head "Well, maybe I would like a pretty girl to think I'm cool, but I can actually do it. So at the very least I can back it up."

Pretty girl.

"Maybe I could show you sometime?"

Pretty girl.

She barely registered the invitation before he climbed back on his horse, leaning over slightly to look back at her, "I'm pretty sure we're neighbors Merlene, so feel free to stop by." then just pulled out one of his wallet, taking out a thin piece of paper and a pencil from his other pocket, scribbling something down before handing it to her. "Text me if you're interested." Then turned his horse around, trotting off after getting a safe distance from her.

Quite literally, leaving Merlene staring after him in the dust.

✦

✦ WYN ✦

- don't forget to do merlene's opinions!

- so exciteeeddd, i hope
everyone else is too

- also!! isn't it crazy how
many chapters of this
book there actually is?

How do your character's feel about archery? Are they any good?

──● answers