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one bite , and all your
dreams will come true

──● evil queen
SNOW WHITE

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The guilt is eating him alive.

At least, it's going too soon. It's already consuming a lot of his thoughts, and he doesn't exactly have a lot of thoughts to spare as it is. It certainly doesn't help that the remaining positive ones are being plucked out, one by one. It's been almost three weeks since he and Seth did make it official, and still, Seth hasn't really brought up the fact that they're hiding a relationship.

Maybe it doesn't really bother him because it isn't a real relationship to him.

Why would he like you?

A tight line fits itself on Junpei's mouth, eyes narrowing at the dishes in front of him. It's fine, he can do this one thing. He's just washing the dishes. He won't think about Seth, or his siblings, or his friends, or the absolute betrayal they're all going to feel when he tells them about their relationship. It's fine.

Everything is fine.

Instead, he's going to do his job, washing the dishes. His siblings are all mingling around him, cheerful and exuberant about their day, and the fact that nothing detrimental has happened to them quite yet this month. Junpei can't sink that horrible sinking feeling in his chest still. He knows something terrible is going to happen, he just doesn't know what. And that makes it so, so much worse.

Instead, he absently shakes his head, turning in on the conversation around him.

Yume isn't all that far, cutting vegetables smoothly. She doesn't mind using the knife, and even if those days are long behind them both, sometimes he doesn't know if he can stomach it. He has before, and he knows if he needs to, but he really doesn't think he can tonight. Even the thought of it sends that spiraling pool of dread deeper. Still, he can feel her quick, spontaneous, glances at him, as if attempting to assess him. 

There's a few conversations going on, now that he realizes it. Merlene is talking to Kasumi about her new therapist. He's an archer, just like Mer is, and they now have their sessions outside, usually just out in the yard of the house, for reasons unknown to Junpei. He suspects it's because she doesn't want to be seperated from her family, but he'll keep that to himself. Maybe it helps, to have a therapist with the same hobby as you. So you get coaching mentally, and physically.

Jas is animatedly discussing what she wants for her birthday in June, and the likely extensive guest list. She is pretty much internet famous, and little does she know her siblings are already planning a surprise for it. Delaney and Akiho both seem entrenched in the conservation. Jady and Elliot seem to be talking about what he's going to plant in the garden this year, with Keitaro piping in occasionally with the poetic meaning of the colors of individual flowers. Reysa is talking with Elijah about some smart-ass thing, he's almost sure of it. He doesn't get half the words, so he's just gonna assume that's what it is.

Gently, he feels the prodding fingers, turning to see Yume suddenly next to him, having set her knife down in favor of brushing his arm. "Hey, Jun."

"Mhm?" It's a humm of a response, and they both know it, but Yume smiles anyway, that warm, sisterly smile that no one can replicate. It's a safety smile. That's what he calls it, at least to himself, a reminder that no one can hurt him while his siblings are here. Her hand instead goes to his back, rubbing it in slow, soft circles.

"Are you okay?"

No.

"Yes." His response comes without hesitation again, even if it sends a silent crack down his chest. He doesn't hold her eye contact, quickly looking at the unwashed dishes that he really should be working on. Yume doesn't believe him, and he knows she doesn't, but still, he can't bring himself to say it. 

He can feel her eyes on him, soft, but analyzing. She keeps rubbing circles into his back, quiet for a breath of a moment. "Do you want me to wash them?"

Junpei does consider it, for a moment, but at the same time, he knows if she does, all of his siblings will know something is up, so instead he shakes his head, turning the water to a comfortable warmth. To be entirely honest, he doesn't trust himself to verbally respond. Yume is being so kind to him, she's always been so kind to him.

You don't deserve it.

The words send spiking anxiety down his throat, threatening any words he might be able to choke out, so he doesn't say anything, picking up the dishes, and beginning to wash them. He wants to run right now, to feel the cool, deep air around him, and just breathe. Momentarily, he recalls his simple chant, wishing it applied here. Yume does retract eventually, and the slow, calming conversation of his siblings around him smooths over that deepening feeling of suspense.

The muted laughter of his siblings around him eases the tension in his stomach, and suprisingly, he finds washing the dishes a simple, absent task that he can turn his brain off with, and just listen for a while. It does help.

Being home always helps.

It's a rare feat that they're all in the kitchen together, but because Raine is on her trip with Dexter for the next day or two, they all decided to do it together. Admittedly, it is nice, especially with gentle rain falling outside, visible from the kitchen as rumbling thunder echoed in the distance. An easy smile appears over his face as another blurry laugh fills the room. Warm lighting fills the room as heavenly smells begin to fill the kitchen. Fresh bread is being cut, and different soups are placed upon the table alongside a salad. 

It's a nice feeling, a good feeling, really, sharply contrasting against the well of fear he's been harboring for weeks now. The dread has been placed in the back of his mind, and the moment of being with people who love him sinks in a little farther into his skin. 

Yume is again at his side in a moment, again with that warm, doting smile on her face as she hooks her arm in his, "Time for dinner!" Her voice is lilted, in that kind of sing-songy tone, and Junpei can't help but echo his sister's smile. He knows she's doing it soley so the other's don't notice how absent he is, he doesn't really care, and he also doesn't have the heart to tell her that half of them probably noticed already. 

As always, Yume has a spot next to her own chosen chair empty as his siblings go to find their own seats, chattering quietly with each other about numerous things. He really doesn't know why Yume always has an empty chair beside her for the last sibling, he's never really asked, even if he is curious. Still, if he really wanted to know, he'd just ask Keitaro. Or Jasari. Maybe Kas knew. Probably, knowing her. 

Junpei sunk into his own seat, stealing a short glance around the table as the talking spattered off. For a moment, it was silent, and Junpei watched as his siblings slowly looked to Yume. Realizing they were all looking, so did he, only to find her frowning slightly, eyes narrowed towards the couple of empty chairs across the table.

Before anyone could ask, she voiced her concern, huffingly crossing her arms over her chest, "Where's dad?" Yume clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth, pushing to stand. "I feel like I've hardly seen him."

"He's a workaholic Yu, what did you expect?" Merlene had set down her bowl, relenting to the fact that they should at the very least check if he'd like to have dinner with them.

"No, Yume's right, I've hardly seen him all day - is he even home?" Jady's concern was obvious from her tone, and Kasumi reached over, taking her hand gently and offering an assuring smile. 

"That's a good point." Elliot leaned back in his chair, frowning at the ceiling, "I don't even know if he's eaten today at all."

Elijah huffed, side-eying Akiho, "That makes two of them, then."

Akiho only responded by rolling his own eyes, "I'm literally just about to, don't be dramatic."

"I'm always dramatic, I'll have you know."

"Don't we know it." Jasiri commented quickly, then looked back to Yume, "Maybe he's not feeling well."

"If dad isn't feeling well, shouldn't we at least make sure he's taking care of himself?" Reysa set her spoon down, looking to Yume again.

Junpei hesitated himself, before glancing shortly around the table. "If he is sick, maybe soup could help, it wouldn't hurt to check."

"Yeah, it might actually hurt more if we don't check." Delaney's eyes were lined with worry, mirroring Jady's own expression. 

"That's a good point." Kasumi echoed, before looking to Kei, who'd stood up himself.

"I'll go check on him." He briefly paused, before looking to Yume "Yu, come with me. You're much more persuasive than I am."

Yume half-brightened at the invitation, hurrying over to her twin as she took his arm instead. "Don't be silly Kei, you're much better at logic and things."

"Well, yes, but since when do sick people bend to logic?"

"Mm. Good point." She paused, their voices filtering off up the stairs. "See! What did I tell you, logic."

It only took a moment for their voices to be nothing but incoherent speaking, then vanishing entirely. For a beat it was quiet around the table, eyes trailing the invisible path their oldest siblings had taken up the winding stairs. 

In another beat, Kasumi had her eyes on Junpei, and he instinctively fought the urge to cower. Instead, he held her gaze for a second, then conveniently found somewhere else to look. He knew it was coming before she spoke, so he braced himself anyway. "Junpei."

Feeling the slow gazes of everyone else reaching him, he raised his eyes back to hers. Her voice was soft, as it often was when she talked. She did speak more, now that Rhys was in her life, but still, it was a whisper of the wind compared to the rest of them. No one said anything for a moment, and Junpei's heart raced, anxiety spiking in and out of his chest as that deep, lingering feeling of dread again spiraled deep into his gut. 

"You're being so quiet."

"I'm always quiet." Once again, his response was instant. Far too fast gauging from the reactions of his siblings, who exchanged a number of indecipherable looks. 

Shut up.

Kasumi looked unconvinced, instead looking to the others. Elijah, who was beside him watched him for a moment, then cleared his throat. "I have great news." In a moment, all attention was on him, and Junpei felt Elijah gently pat his back, as if he knew exactly what question Junpei desperately wanted to avoid.

For a moment, he felt the stinging sensation of tears in the back of his throat, desperate for something to hold onto. Regrettable, he dug his nails into his thighs, begging to himself that he would not cry at this stupid fucking table.

You're pathetic.

Elijah, who obviously just blurted out the words simply to take the attention off Junpei, again cleared his throat. "I just would like to announce that Sage is officially my girlfriend."

Reysa scoffed, "Sorry, I thought she was already like two months ago, when she came over and just cuddled with you in bed."

Elijah shot her a glare. "First of all, Sage was going through something. I wasn't about to force her into a relationship after she lost someone. Contrary to popular belief, and the school's newspaper column, I am not just a playboy." His arguement was light-hearted, as it often was, and Junpei had never been more greatful for it. Instead, Elijah's voice softened, and his smile turned fond. "Anyway. She's my girlfriend now, and I thought because all of you are so invested in each other's love lives, you would like to know."

Jady's joy was obvious, a ray of sunshine really. "I for one, love you and Sage."

Merlene sighed. "Sage is pretty cool actually, so if you break her heart Elijah, I'll break you." She paused, crossing her arms over her chest, "And if she hurts you, no one will find her body."

Delaney swatted her gently, "Merlene-"

Jas waved them both off, "No, really Elijah, you're both really cute. You deserve each other."

Akiho nodded, clearly hiding a smile. "I'm really glad it worked out."

Elijah smiled at him, "Thanks Akiho." then glanced back over, "Now, I have a date with her next week, and obviously I need flowers, so Elliot- what do you got for me?"

"Well that depends, what kind of energy are you going for?" Elliot leaned forward, bracing his arms against the table for a moment, eyes alight with ideas. Junpei could practically see his gears whirring in his head. 

Kasumi sighed, "Rhys always gets me sundrops. I don't really care about the meaning, all that matters is they're from him." Her tone is warm, smile fond as her eyes dance around the room.

Elijah sighed, "Lame, I want something smart. Like you know, just an 'i'm slightly better than you' smart."

"But you aren't better than Sage??" Reysa's glance is accusing, and Elijah rolls his eyes.

"Well obviously I know that, but Sage and I have this thing where we try to best each other at everything. Clearly, I win most of the time, because I am the best." 

"That's dramatic." Akiho glanced at him, and Jasiri sighed

"We've been over this already, Elijah is always dramatic. Well- I don't think you can go wrong with roses, but why do you want to best her in this anyway."

Elijah scrunched his nose up at them, crossing his own arms over his chest in mock disbelief. "Because I want to be the best boyfriend to her. I want to be the best for her."

There's a moment of silence, and then again, a deep sigh from Jady. "That's so sweet."

Delaney laughed, hiding a smile behind her hand, "Actually, that is very romantic Elijah."

"Obviously." Elijah's words don't match his tone, despite the sarcasm he's desperately trying to hold onto.

Shared smiles dart over the room, and Kasumi eventually speaks up again. "Just give her something that means something to you, Elijah. Sage will appreciate it as long as it's from you, not from any of us." Her eyes flicker over her siblings as mutters of agreement arise, then they snap back to Junpei, but relent, leaning back again her chair in a silent battle of wills between them.

Elijah sighs, "Alright, maybe I will." For a moment, he stands there silent, deep in thought. A beat later, his eyes light up, "Oh- how about-"

He's inturupted by the sound of slow, heavy footsteps down the stairs. All eyes rise to meet them. Yume's smile is gone, and Keitaro is holding her hand, tightly, knuckles nearly white. Behind them both, trudges their father, eyes glinted red, as they each slowly reach the floor.

Heavy silence lines each hollow corridor around them now. The lights seem dimmer, and that anxious, pulsing feeling in Junpei's chest is right on the crest of falling into the void he knows far too well. 

It's Akiho that speaks first, voice soft, laced with worry. "Dad?"

Junpei's father slowly looks up at them, clearly steeling himself before his eyes settle on Junpei, taking one, slow, labored breath in. "It's your mother, Junpei."

Junpei's heart drops deep into his stomach, knowing in his heart the words that are about to sound true.

"She's gone." His voice cracks a little at the end, just barely, and Junpei can feel all eyes look between him and Yume and Keitaro. 

"How?" Junpei manages the word, just barely, but it heaves against his father's chest, and that horrible, looming feeling inside of him increases tenfold, pressing against his lungs, suffocating him of air.

Dai stares at him for a long moment, one that seems to wind into eternity, and all at once, Junpei realizes the answer.

No.

He takes a step back, the feeling rising up him far too quickly, tears that have been held back far too long as he realizes with absolute certainty what has happened.

She killed herself.

✦

✦ WYN ✦

- sorry for triggers for anyone
please let me know so i can
warn you beforehand <3

- i love each of you, and i'm 
going to my first pride event
tommorow (there's supposed to
also be a massive protest, so i'm
a little scared), so wish me luck!

- i love you all!!

how does your character feel about sara briar's death?

──● answers