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only an act of true love
can thaw a frozen heart

──● pabbie
FROZEN

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December 23rd. Eleven-thirty at night. Stars hung in the sky, heavy with the promise of a white Christmas in New York. It was reminiscent of the night only a week ago, when Akiho had ruthlessly ripped out Leo's heart. Unintentionally, at least by that time. Guilt flared into his face, but his hands twitched at his sides as he poked his head into the entryway of the rink. He'd spent the week attempting to track down Leo in hopes of offering him an apology, an explanation.

Not because he thought Leo would forgive him, but because Leo deserved one.

It didn't matter to him if Leo forgave him, not really. He just needed to have the chance to at the very least explain his behavior - not justify it - his siblings had made it very clear that he shouldn't make Leo think he was trying to justify it. Even Yume, after her somewhat bittersweet speech. Her argument and defense of him hadn't been trying to justify it at all, but explaining that yelling and screaming at each other didn't solve anything at all. Akiho knew that the same thing applied here.

He couldn't talk just reiterate how sorry he was, he had to tell him why he was sorry, why he was wrong, and why Leo hadn't deserved it - why no one deserved that kind of behavior.

He wouldn't take up more time than Leo wanted him around. Akiho didn't have a doubt that he was probably the last person in the world that Leo wanted to see.

He was skating on the rink, alone, muttering to himself as he paced back and forth on his skates. Leo seemed distracted, or at least deep in thought. He was absently skating, like he could do it without a second thought in a routine of going in circles. Hesitantly, and carefully, Akiho stepped through the entry, being sure to set his foot down hard enough that Leo heard him.

That apparently had been his first mistake, because Leo's head snapped up, and his foot slipped on the ice, and down he went in a thud that bounced over the ice, tumbling into the silence that surrounded. 

Immediately, Akiho felt worry and panic flood his chest, and without much of a thought at all, he darted out onto the ice without skates at all. His second mistake. Although he didn't take an ugly spill, his glide certainly wasn't graceful as boots found no traction on the slick ground, and he nearly toppled on top of Leo.

Fortunately for him, he stopped narrowly in time, dropping to his knees on the ice. It sent a jolt up his spine, but he reached his hand to Leo's arm before he stopped, and quickly retracted it, clasping it in his other one as he spoke. "Are you okay?"

Leo let out a muffled groan, slipping his hands underneath himself as he pushed himself up off the ice, and into a sitting position, "Yeah, I'm fine-" He paused, as if realizing that it was Akiho in front of him, and his voice noticebely flattened. "I'm fine, thanks."

Akiho slowly nodded, silent for a moment as that wave of panic was replaced with anxiety. "I'm sorry." The words came out too fast, clipped and unemotional, so Akiho tried again. Slower, this time. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that." Leo's voice was still flat, but Akiho refused to take it to heart. He'd be mad too, honestly.

"I know." He nodded, scanning his mind for the reahersal of what he was going to say, only to come up with nothing. Internally screaming, he scowled at himself before shaking his head. "I know- I mean, I want to tell you that what I did was wrong, and horrible, and mean. You didn't deserve any of it, no one, deserves any of that. And, and I just wanted to tell you that this wasn't about you- it wasn't your fault at all, and I made it that way." Akiho swallowed thickly, but he refused to look away from Leo's eyes despite the shame that heated his cheeks.

This way, Leo would know he wasn't lying at all.

"I was wrong to do what I did." Leo's eyes had softened, just a little. "You are a good person, Leo. You're a great person, and I thought - I thought maybe if you hadn't been it would have been okay - but-" he shook his head, getting back on track, meeting his gaze again. "I do care about you. I do like you - none of that was fake. It doesn't make my original intentions better, and it doesn't fix how I hurt you, but please just know that I am sorry." Akiho pushed his palm against the ice, slowly standing. "I don't expect you to forgive me either. Of course, I would like to be friends again eventually, but I don't blame you if you don't think you can." He nodded, his voice trailing off as at last he tore his eyes from Leo's.

His companion was quiet, still sitting on the ice, and looked up at him.  His head tilted, eyes narrowing slightly.

Akiho hesitated again, doing his best to stay as stable as possible on the slick surface under his feet. "I'm sure you're wondering why I did it, and the-"

"I know why." Leo's inturruption was smooth, and he got on a knee before pushing himself up entirely on the ice, towering over Akiho now. "I already know why you did it." This time, confusion surged up his chest as he looked up towards Leo, frowning slightly. Leo shoved his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "Neve told me."

Neve told me.

Leo blinked, chewing his cheek as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. "He cornered me, the next practice we had, and basically screamed that it had been his fault. That he'd challenged you-"

"It wasn't his fault." Akiho immediately protested. "I was still the one who did it."

Leo let him speak, then only shrugged. "The point is - is that.." he seemed to hesitate. "I wasn't a good kid in middle school. Really. I was pretty homophobic in all honestly, and Neve was an easy target." Leo sucked his teeth, looking back at Akiho. "Especially to my friends." Once again, he seemed to hesitate. "Did you wonder where exactly Neve got that idea?"

Akiho shook his head slowly. He'd assumed it was from a book of some kind, it seemed like it could be a popular, albeit toxic trope. 

"Because someone did it to him."

Akiho's heart dropped into his chest. The thought of his friend, being abused and manipulated like that. Sickness settled in his chest, and finally he felt the same kind of anger and dissapointment his siblings had experienced at hearing that he'd done the same thing. It was mortifying.

Leo again ran a hand through dark hair. "It wasn't me, who did it, but I...I knew what was happening. One of my buddies pretended to be gay, I guess, and got Neve to believe that he liked him a lot. It was in eighth grade, I think, and my friend invited him to the park on a date, or whatever, and..well..it wasn't a date." Leo's face darkened at the memory. "A bunch of us were there, and they humilated Neve." He was silent for a moment, then looked to Akiho. "I didn't know how bad it felt until last week."

Akiho's chest hurt, catching on his breath. Leo wasn't done however, and he took a step back from Akiho, sighing as his foot curved into an arc to catch the ice smoothly behind him.

"I think that's why I forgave you so quickly."

His heart skipped a beat, forcing his eyes back up to meet Leo again. His throat felt dry, but he forced a swallow. "It was still wrong." It was horse, and dry, but maybe a little hopeful. A little hopeful that there was something to salvage after all, even if it wasn't perfect. He wasn't going to lie though, it did ease some of that guilt in his chest knowing that he'd been forgiven. 

"Yeah." Leo shrugged again, but fell silent. He tilted his head up, looking at the starry night above him. He took another step away from Akiho before releasing a heavy sounding breath, looking back down at him. "I lied to you."

What?

"What?" His voiced echoed the thoughts before he could realize them, and that sickening dread and panic that he'd known before this whole thing happened re-ignited in the depths of his cold heart. He glanced around, half expecting Leo's friends to be there. Laughing. 

Leo squashed that train of thought in an instant. "Not about caring about you- I did care about you." He paused, then frowned, looking at Akiho as he corrected. "Do. I do care about you Akiho." There was a beat of silence. "That day, when I came and sat by you? It wasn't - I wasn't exactly being honest." He sighed. "It was a stupid dare by one of my friends- y'know, because they knew I liked you, and thought-"

"Leo." Akiho had to slap a hand over his mouth at the snicker that threatened to bubble up into his throat. "What- Why would you need to apologize for that??"

Leo seemed confused, "Because it wasn't my idea to do that in the first place?" He tilted his head, and the image conjured up the feelings of warmth and sunshine stirring into his heart.

"Leo-" he bit back his laugh, removing his hand, and shaking his head, "You should not be the one apologizing to me right now."

Again, he shrugged, removing his hands and clasping them behind him. Akiho's sense of humor soon faded, coming back to the realization of why he was here in the first place. They both fell into the dark quiet, saying nothing at all. 

Akiho took another breath, fidgeting with his own fingers. "I care about you too Leo. More than a stupid bet."

His friend (?) seemed to hesitate again, and he shook his head slightly. "What part of it was real?"

"I think.." Akiho thought back, then nodded as memories flooded his thoughts, back to the day when Leo had sat beside him. Even with the new knowledge that his friends had dared him too, Akiho couldn't lie and say that wasn't the moment that real feelings began to develop. "It was that day you sat by me, and asked about my eating habits." His skin felt flush again, all of the sudden. "No one had ever really done that for me- especially a hot hockey player."

For a moment, Leo was silent, and then he brightened. "You think I'm hot?"

Akiho sent him a half scolding glance, but couldn't help the smile that twitched at his lips. "It was when..you told me about Bean, your husky." Akiho stepped closer, careful to not slip on the ice. "And when you told me you listened to every Taylor Swift album ten times over, you sing it on the ice during breaks." Leo's eyes lightened, becoming that soft, calming color. "When you told me that hazelnut and cinnamon was your favorite scent in the entire world, and you cried over Toy Story Three. " Akiho's smile shifted to be a little more full as he recalled the things he noticed about Leo, the things he remembered about him. "You rock on your feet, and clasp your hands together, when you're nervous, and you're not very good at hiding your emotions - but I don't mind, I think it makes you all the more expressive. " Heat rose into his own cheeks, but he pushed onward anyway. "You have the kind of voice that I could listen to all day, and I think if you liked reading a little more, I'd like to listen to audiobooks voiced by you."

Leo stopped him, chewing his cheek again. "Those are all things about me, but I, I don't really know all that much about you. I mean, I know you have a tell when you're lying, and I know you have a hard time eating, especially when you're by yourself, but..I feel like I don't really know you at all -"

"I like cats." Akiho blinked, suddenly invigorated with the idea of giving him some kind of comfort - that the person that Leo liked was him. "I, I think I like dogs too, I think i'd like Bean - because I like her owner a lot." He watched Leo smile at that, slowly, like he was trying to stop it. "I like fashion shows a lot, and designing clothes. I'm really good at stitching." He paused, thinking. "I like skating, even though i'm not the most amazing at it. I especially love the costumes that come with it. I love history, art, and my brother's poetry." Akiho nodded, slowly, "I like the snow, and the wintertime, and my family, more than anything in the world."

"And your dislikes?" Leo spoke, almost amused, but Akiho didn't care, and relented to his request.

"I don't like snails. Or loud noises-" he hesitated, "But I like your laugh." Shaking his head, he returned to the prompt, insistant upon looking at Leo dead in the eyes, because he wanted - no - he needed Leo to hear him. To see that he cared, cared so desperately that his fear of trusting someone so much was thrown out the window entirely. "I don't like weird textures, or touchy strangers - or any stranger in general really. I find neon colors bright and irritating, and I hate thinking about amputations-" The word itself sent a shudder down his spine, and Akiho desperately tried to ignore the looming thoughts in the back of his mind at the mention of his fear. "I'm terrified that someday, my family might realize that they've made a mistake, and will abandon me entirely."

That's what it had felt like a little bit, that day a week ago, after the whole thing unfolded before him. Akiho shook his head, pushing away the thoughts, and looking to Leo entirely, dedicated to his mission.

"The point, Leo, is that I care about you - and I'm sorry."

Leo was smiling, and once again, he stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "I forgave you already-"

"I know." He nodded, firmly. "I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that I am sorry for what I did."

That time he nodded, and once more like before, silence settled over them. Thick with the taste of suspense and disbelief. There was also comfort there, weaving in and out of the air between them. Leo spoke at last, speaking quietly. "Are we toxic, Akiho?"

For a moment, he thought on that, then shrugged. "Probably."

Leo was silent, then he shuffled on his feet. "Do we have to be?"

Slowly, Akiho smiled again, and he shook his head. "No, we don't."

"Okay." His friend nodded. "Okay, then I'd like to start over - not- not in the way that we just forget what happened, but, if we both still like each other, maybe we could try again?" He seemed hesitant, and thick affection pooled into Akiho's stomach.

"Okay." He gave a short nod. "Lets do that." For a moment, there was a beat of silence, and Akiho's head shot up "Oh- I brought you your Christmas gift, it- it's also an apology, I guess- but the point is-" He shook his head, turning on a heel, and briefly forgetting the fact that he didn't have skates on at all.

Fortunately for him, Leo remembered, and before Akiho could topple over he felt himself being lifted off the ground entirely, and into the muscular arms of his companion. Leo was bright, and obvioiusly happy to do it, especially when Akiho's face flushed all the way up to his ears. At the reaction, Leo seemed to brighten impossibly further.

It only took a moment before he reached the partition of the rink, and Akiho clambered out of his arms, giving him a flustered thankyou before turning to grab his bag that had been discarded by the entryway earlier, pulling out a large, thick box. Hurriedly, he clutched it to his chest, and darted back to the partition entry, just holding it out to him.

Leo took it wordlessly, opening it with a curious glint in his eyes until the top of the box fell away. His eyes widened, and darted up to Akiho as he leaned over, peering inside the box. 

Inside, there was a pair of proffessionally-graded goalie skates. 

Akiho looked up at him, feeling that stardusted feeling settle over his heart. "You said you needed to replace yours soon - and even though the school provides you with fantastic skates during official practices and games, you didn't have some of your own." Akiho smiled, a hesitant thing, "I thought you might like-"

He was in Leo's arms before he could finish the sentence, pressed to his chest in the most effective bear hug he'd ever been a part of. "I love them." His voice was soft. Akiho just hugged him back, not saying anything at all.

He didn't really feel like he had too.

They stayed there, talking to each other till 2 A.M, until they said their goodbyes, and headed their seperate ways. Outside, it was dark, fresh, chilled air rolling into his lungs as he walked towards the train.

"Akiho!" there was the call of his name.

But not from Leo.

He turned around in an instant, and the amount of relief that crested his thoughts was immeasurable as he saw Elijah, bundled up in warm clothing, jog towards him. Elijah was scowling, not unusual, but his hands immediately went towards Akiho's arms. "Hey- you okay?"

"Uh-"

"It's two in the morning." He huffed, puffing out his cheeks. "In case you don't remember, that was the same time Neve called me last week."

Akiho's cheeks half-flushed, but he shook his head. "Oh- sorry, no I'm fine." He paused. "It went well, I think, we-" Different thougths flooded his head, and he frowned, "Wait, you're not supposed to be here, you have a flight in like...four hours to your grandparents."

Elijah seemed to hesitate, then half shrugged. "I can always sleep on the plane." His eyes shifted to the side, and he slowly dropped his hands from Akiho's arms. "You're my family too, Aki."

Akiho didn't care honestly. He threw his arms around his brother because he could - and because it was too early to be emotionally constipated. "I love you Elijah." His brother scoffed at him, and for a moment Akiho thought he might have shoved him off. 

Instead, he felt arms surround him right back. "Yeah." A pause. "I guess I love you too."

✦

✦ OPHELIA ✦

- so - i wrote over 12,500
words in two days for this
arc - which feels illegal

- oh well, i feel like people 
are upset with me over
this arc tbh

- so, idk, sorry ig

- i'm happy with the ending
at the very least, lemme
know how you feel bout it

- sorry for the long chapter
and long ramble <3

 no question today ! as part
four is finished , and we'll be
moving to part five shortly !
so i need all opinions on jady
done as soon as possible <3
if this is already done feel free
to just comment as such !

──● answers