________________

jj walked up to the chateau like he had been doing for the past few days. for some strange reason, he found comfort in sitting in john b's hammock alone. so that's what he did, but this time he had someone-- or something with him. opening up the envelope, multiple papers were inside. sifting through them, he finally found one entitled for jj.

dear jj,

hey j. i would like to ask you a question first. but if you're reading this, and i'm not standing next to you as you do so, i think you already know the answer.

but if it isn't clicking for you, let's just say i wasn't really in surgery when you went to the hospital. next time you see pope, ask him what hospice means. because you obviously didn't pick up on it. it's probably better that way, though.

pope might give you the answer "the hospital unit you go before you die."

there's no way of putting this nicely, bub. i died. screw the doctor who said not all hospice patients die.

not right now obviously. but when you're reading this, i'm gone. that is, if the two of us aren't reading this with one another for shits and giggles after i get discharged from the hospital.

believe me, i doubt you'll actually read this. hell, i'm probably talking to myself. but in that 1% chance that i actually kicked the bucket, i'm sorry.

this wasn't my intention, i swear.

if i were being honest with you, the words "death" and "elsie" being used in the same sentence doesn't sit right with me. i have a lot to live for. one of those things being you.

i gotta stop talking to you like i'm still alive. i'm gone, i died.

i wanna thank you, jj. i can honestly say that you were my first best friend, and that never changed. all the girls at school were scared of my ass for some reason. in a way i'm flattered? but the pogues weren't ever.

i appreciate everything we've done with one another, as ridiculous as i can sound at times.

jj, i can truthfully say that you're the one thing in my life that matters to me more than life itself. i can confidently say that i'd take a bullet for your hot self. i would.

i didn't mean to disobey you. i wanted to better myself; i had plans to. but with all the shit we've been through, i needed to wait until things got sorted out.

now you and i both know i could write about all the reasons i love you for hours. so i'm going to keep it short and sweet.

i know the things we said about our future. do me a solid and don't dwell on that. you can't dwell forever. now don't get me wrong, please don't forget about me a week from now. someone needs to remember i fucking existed.

but do yourself a favor and move on from me. i know, just the thought of it is making me sob in this hideous hospital napkin dress. sharing your fine ass with another bitch sounds terrible at the moment.

find your person. because if i'm dead, then there's someone else out there that's better for you, jj.

have that wedding on the beach. go to yucatan, or wherever you want. surf all day. have kids.

maybe name your daughter after me if you're feeling up to it and your wife doesn't disapprove.

you could have kids with the ugliest girl and i swear, they'd still have your bright blue eyes. when i think of you, that's one of the most prominent traits.

oh, and can i be buried with one of your rings? if that happens, i consider my life a success.

but in all seriousness, i fucking love you. there's no fancy wording that can explain it better than that. and i always will love you jj.

have fun with life, for me. without me. stick a middle finger in the sky every once in a while and i'll know you remember me, alright?

i love you forever and always blondie.

endless love,

elsie

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and just like that... it's over. thank you all for your continuous support on this project. i have many other books (for the obx fandom and others as well) that i am working on as well, so if you'd like, feel free to check out my page!!

elsie is my baby and i will miss her and jj's dynamic so so much. once again, i appreciate all of the interactions with this book!!! 20k reads babayyyy! and as always, ily all :))

ally