CHAPTER TWENTY SIX: I COULD KILL THEM

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"is this how it's supposed to feel?" john b asked me. we all sat around the abandoned church that john b knew and loved. he used to go there with his father. we couldn't go to either of our houses; there was most likely cops there. jj's is an obvious no. pope's and kie's aren't really options either. so we went where we'd have the smallest chance of being found. 

"how what's supposed to feel?" i replied, not positive as to what he was referring to.

"watching someone die," he remarked, which caused an unsettling feeling within me. 

"i uh-" i paused, unsure of how to respond. it was so long ago, but when i thought of my mother and father getting killed in front of me, it seems like a blurry memory from just a day or two prior. 

"it was an insensitive thing to ask-"

"no," i stopped him. "i really don't know how to describe it to you, that's all. it's like-"

"fantasy?" he suggested. 

"yeah, i guess that's one way to describe it," i tilted my head. "john b, i'll do anything to get us justice. i promise you that, okay?" i noticed his zoned-out expression. "try and get some rest, okay?"

he nodded as i stood up to leave him alone. in another corner of the church, there sat jj. i limped up to him, my foot killing me from all the running. something was telling me that there would be a lot more running than just that, though. 

"you okay?" he weakly asked me, knowing that my response was either going to be negative or a lie. 

"you want me to be honest with you?" i laughed lightly. 

"yes."

"i could be better," i sat down and nuzzled into his side. "i kinda asked for it, i guess."

"no you didn't. don't say that," he pulled me gently into his lap.

"they don't think i killed him," i began to explain, "but they're saying i was with jb. and that i was a threat," my eyes filled with tears, which was something that rarely happened, but i didn't care in the moment. "me, a sixteen year old girl, a threat. do they really think that i would do something like that, especially with knowing the background i'm from? and i'm sorry i'm crying now it just pisses me-"

"elsie, stop. show your emotions. it's normal, you don't have to come across as badass and whatever all the time. don't apologize to me."

"those cops in there jj, i don't trust them. they're gonna take the side that gets them the most money out of it. and we both know what i mean by that," i rolled my eyes. "i tried to show them my proof, but they wouldn't give us the time of day. not a second. what if they come here? they're surely looking for us and-"

"hey, hey, hey," he ran his hand through my hair to calm me down, "nothing is going to happen, and nobody is going to be here. okay, darlin?"

"i just, i could kill them," i sobbed into his chest, my balled-up fists hitting him in the stomach lightly; nothing that would hurt him. "i, i almost did."

"i know the feeling," jj cooed, still latching onto my tiny body tightly. "i love you, elsie."

"i love you more," i spoke into his chest still, my cries fading down before falling asleep, his arms protecting me from anything bad happening. 

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good news for residents of the outer banks. dominion power says their underwater transmission line, which will restore power to 90 percent of the area, should be functional within 24 hours. and still, no arrest in the shooting death of sheriff susan peterkin. the state police have issued a statement regarding a suspect, juvenile john-

kiara switched off the radio before any of us could hear any more. 

"let's game this out. maybe you guys can help, being the smart ones and all, but, who are the cops going to believe? ward cameron, or us? so the accuser is a big-shot developer, kind of lord of the island, got the governor on speed-dial kind of person. and then the accused, and john b, who is pretty much a homeless 16-year-old boy at the moment. and then possibly elsie, who is on her own as of right now as well," jj laid it out for us. 

"thanks, but it doesn't seem like they're on the lookout for elsie anymore," john b said. 

"john b, i'm sorry-" i wanted to apologize. it wasn't under my control, and to be fair, i really didn't deserve to be blamed. but neither did john b, obviously. 

why wasn't i a priority anymore? did ward change his story because me being there wasn't believable? if so, how could they still believe him?

later, i'd come to find out that ward did blame me initially. but, rafe knew i had proof, and not just proof with being there. he didn't want the cops to be looking for me, cause he knew that i'd rat him out. the whole time, i had a target on my back with rafe. if we came into contact, who knows what would happen. he could kill me right on the spot like he did with peterkin. there was no doubt he was looking for me. 

"why're you apologizing? you shouldn't be involved to begin with. the less you're involved the better," he replied. 

"that doesn't mean they've stopped looking for me though. you might be priority, but i'm sure i'm there too."

"shit," pope massaged his temple.

"okay, man. yucatan, all right? i'm saying that's the only option," jj insisted. "what other option do you have?"

"enough with mexico bullshit. sarah will bail me out."

"she did witness the whole thing. you know, elsie, why don't you go?"

"kie, they almost shot the two of us when we attempted that. what makes you think it's going to be any different? look, i'm going to do it, but we need to wait for things to settle a bit. get them to actually listen to me. they're gonna bring me in for questioning sooner or later."

"she's gonna snitch on her brother?" pope challenged john b's thought, and he did bring up a good point to consider. 

"not happening bro, okay?" jj sided with pope, smoking a cigarette. "we've gotta get you off the island."

"the ferry. it's the only way."

"good point pope," i pointed at him. 

"yeah, exit stage left while you still can. before the entire island is on lockdown."

"guys, just get down," kie mumbled to all of us at the sound of sirens going by. 

"sarah's not a pogue, john b," pope spoke. 

"yeah. you can't stay here, man."

"john b, we're gonna get this figured out, but it's not gonna be easy. it'll take time, but our names will be cleared, okay? i'll make sure of it."

i was a girl that stuck to her word. i'd do anything for the other four, no matter what would happen to myself. 

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ally