.・゜-: ✧☾　☽✧ :-゜・.

Pain. Pain and agony were the only thing Stella felt when she woke up. The sudden bright light forced her eyes shut and as she tried to move it caused a stabbing pain to shoot through her whole body. She let out a groan as her eyes prickled with tears.

She lifted her shirt, revealing the bandage that covered the side of her stomach. She looked around in confusion as she didn't see anyone else. She was in a house, lying on a blood-stained mattress with towels around her.

Panic crept up her spine as the memories slowly appeared in her mind. The governor, his attack on the prison, Hershel, the gunshot. The last thing that she remembered was seeing Levi hunched over her before her sight darkened.

"Thank God." Michonne's voice was heard behind her. The woman kneeled down next to her placing a gentle hand on her leg."You're awake. How are you feeling?"

Stella shook her head as she tried to take it all in. "Where are we? What happened?" She asked, her voice sounded weak from not using it in days.

"You're okay. I found you at the prison, brought you here. How's your wound?" Michonne began to examine her leg and stomach.

"Where are the others?" Stella asked, not caring about her injuries.

Michonne drew a sharp breath. "I'm not sure. You're the only one I could find."

Stella flinched as the woman lifted the bandage to make sure her wound wasn't infected. "You didn't see anyone else?"

"I don't know. A lot was happening. I saw some people get on the bus." Michonne said sounding unsure.

"Did Dad get on? Carl and Judith?" Stella rambled names making the woman shrug.

"Listen, I told you I don't know. All that matters is that you're okay and hopefully not infected."

Stella forced Michonne to tell her everything that had gone down at the prison. Apparently, she had found Stella behind some bushes and got her away from there before she got shot at by the tank. She had saved her life to which Atella was forever grateful for but she couldn't help but wonder why it wasn't Levi. Levi had been with her when she got shot and was probably the one who hid her in the bushes so why wasn't he the one getting her out of there. He wouldn't just leave her like that. But if he didn't, then Stella could only think of one other reason for why he wasn't here. One that she couldn't let herself belive.

Michonne had done her best to treat her and it seemed to have worked so hard since she hadn't got infected yet. Stella had been out for two days while the woman had searched the area for any survivors. The only lead she had so far was some footprints in the ground a few yards away but she hadn't yet gotten the chance to follow them. Stella was determined to follow the lead but Michonne insisted that they would wait until the morning to give the girl a chance to heal up.

Stella didn't sleep much that night as her whole body was aching in pain and worry. Once the sun finally rose they gathered their supplies and headed out on the road. Every step shot a wave of pain through Stella's leg where the man had stabbed her but she didn't stop despite Michonne's many tries to get her to slow down. Stella still wore Levi's jacket despite the sun beating down on them as they traveled through the forest creating beads of sweat on her forehead. Michonne had tried ropes around two walker's heads after cutting off their arms and jaws also cutting off their need to feed. They worked as a way to hide their scent as they walked past hordes of walkers without getting noticed.

They walked for hours before stopping by a house. Stella watched as Michonne walked through it, securing it from walkers.

They had walked for a day without finding anything. No sign of survivors. No sign of her family or Levi or anyone else. Stella refused to belive they all of them had died. She just couldn't. Because without them, she had no reason to keep on.

_____

Stella woke up gasping for air pressing her hand to her chest. She had managed to fall asleep up woke up minutes later after the images of what happened at the prison flashed through her mind. Some real and some fake. It took her a minute before she could tell the difference between the two. She had watched the governor tear Carl from her arms, lining him up with the remaining members of her group forcing her to watch as the man sliced their heads off with Stella's own machete before taking Judith with him leaving Stella alone.

After a moment of struggling to catch her breath, she was finally brought back to reality by Michonne's hand on her leg. "Hey, it's okay. You're okay."

Stella inhaled deeply as she met her concerned gaze. A moment of silence passed while Michonne let her focus on her breathing. Stella placed her head in her hands, dragging over her cheeks as she told herself it was just a dream.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." She finally told Michonne making her shake her head.

"I was awake already." She reassured her.

Stella looked her in the eye. "He killed them all. Lined them off and chopped off their heads." The girl said, biting her lip to hold the tears in. "It felt so real."

"I know." Michonne nodded. "But it's not. You're with me, here. You're safe. I promise I won't anything happen to you."

Stella nodded, sending the woman an appreciative smile.

"I get them too you know. The nightmares." Michonne said after a moment of silence.

Stella looked up from her lap, staring at the woman before her.

"I had them long before all of this." Michonne told her.

"You still get them?" Stella asked earning a nod from her.

"Sometimes I even struggle to know what's reality and what's not." Michonne said.

"How do you do it?" Stella asked.

"Count your fingers. You have extra fingers in dreams. Helps me calm down as well." Michonne explained and Stella looked down on her fingers mentally counting to ten just to make sure.

"Go back to bed." Michonne gently patted her leg, sending her a smile which reminded Stella much of how her mother used to put her to bed as a child. The girl nodded, even though she knew that she'd never fall back asleep.

____

Every muscle in Stella's body ached. They had been walking for yet another day in the cruel heat before finding a house to shelter in. Stella couldn't help but feel like they were chasing after a distant hope, walking aimlessly and just following walker footprints. But she knew how important it was that she kept clinging to the small flicker of hope that she felt. Because without it she would have no reason to keep on. Giving up would be taking away the only reasons she had to live. Hope was the only thing stopping her from realizing the possibility that her family was dead. That the love of her life was dead. If she'd let herself believe that she wouldn't be able to keep going. She'd take the easy way out. She knew that Michonne wouldn't miss her. She was just slowing her down. Michonne was definitely better off without her and she was surprised that she hadn't left her yet.

The moon stood on its high on the sky when Stella forced herself off the mattress on the floor. She was done trying desperately to fall asleep. The girl was restless and decided to go to the second floor. It was dark but she used a lantern to light up the path in front of her. She scanned the rooms stopping in the doorway of what was clearly used to be a boy's room with the name Ethan on the door. The insides remind her of Carl's old room, with scattered truck toys and posters of superheroes. He would have loved this room.

Stella sank down on the floor, leaning against the bed and hunched forward letting out a muffled cry as to not let Michonne hear. She remained still on the floor, draped in Levi's jacket as she sobbed into her hands. She was scared and alone. She had taken the security at the prison for granted and she felt completely lost without the safe walls or the security of the ones she loved's arms.

Her hand found its way into the pocket of Levi's jacket where she had placed the letter she found in his pack a few days prior. She took out the letter with her name on it, immediately bringing a tear to her eye at the sight of Levi's handwriting. She opened it, unraveling the long page of words.

"If you're reading this I probably died from the flu. I'm so sorry I have to say goodbye this way, trust me I'd much rather say all this face to face but I don't want to worry you. I don't want our last moments together to be you grieving me.

I know you're scared. But you'll be okay. You'll move on eventually even though it might not feel like that right now. But I know you will and I'll be watching you on your journey. You're gonna become the leader of the prison someday. I know it. You'll open the school we talked about. You're gonna find someone new and you'll be a mother someday. And your kids will be forever lucky to have a mom like you. You'll grow old and gray and watch your kids take over the prison after you. And you'll find yourself letting go without even noticing. You'll be happy.

You're the best thing to ever happen to me, Stella. I can't imagine life without you. Maybe dying is a gift because it means that I'll never have to live without you.

When I stepped out of those woods, the first time we met, you immediately took me in and your group treated me like their own. You're one of the few good things in this world. You're a good person, I want you to remember that. This cruel world changes people and turns them into the worst versions of themselves. I've even seen it happen to me. But you. You still have your morals, you still put everyone before yourself and youre still you. You're the one thing that makes this cruel life worth living. I don't deserve you. No man does. You're all that's good in this world. You brought out the best of me and I'm forever grateful for that.

I know I should say this face to face but if I say it now, it'll sound more like a goodbye than what it really is. But I just want you to know that I love you. I love you, Stella Grimes. I always will. You're the love of my life. And if I could decide I'd marry you and have all the kids you want.

After Astrid died I couldn't seem to find something to live for. But after meeting you, I found it. I couldn't be happier to have survived for this long with you.

Take care of Judith and Carl. I know you will. Look over Ellie too and forget about me. Move on. I'm sorry you didn't get to take a picture of me.

I really hope that you find this after I'm dead so that you won't be able to kill me for saying goodbye over a letter. But this isn't goodbye. This is something for you to remember e by.

I love you so much, Robin Hood."

Tears flowed freely, unyielding a river of sorrow that ran down her cheeks, landing on the piece of paper in her lap. She didn't even try to muffle her sobs anymore. She couldn't control them or her breathing anymore as she clasped onto the paper. She felt lightheaded reading the words that she hadn't gotten a chance to say yet. "I love you." She read over and over again until she couldn't find it within herself to let out a single tear. Every gasp for breath ached, shooting daggers of pain from the bullet wound making her wail.

She wanted to rip the paper apart, enraged that he chose to say goodbye like that.
She wanted to scream knowing that she'd never be able to say those three words back.
She wanted to burn the letter to ash, anger pumping through her body, hurt that he told her to move on like it was nothing. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. She couldn't move on, ever. She couldn't go on. Not without him.

She stayed on her spot on the floor, permanently glued to the wooden planks as she read the letter over and over again crying even more each time. He left her. All alone with nothing but a stupid letter to mourn over. It wasn't fair. Nothing of this was.

______

Stella and Michonne walked through a small town. The Grimes girl had forced herself up, clinging to the small hope they had in the form of a muddy footprint.

They split up, searching through the houses on different sides of the road. Stella limped with her hand pressed to her side as the other held her gun aimed in front of her. She peaked through the windows, seeing nothing but stray walkers or abandoned homes. It made her wonder what her house looked like now. Her childhood home, empty or infiltrated with flesh-eating monsters. She hadn't thought about her old home in a while. She completely forgot about it after the security in the prison, her new home.

She glanced over a Michonne who had stopped, standing completely frozen and slightly leaning forward staring into one of the windows. She heard a sobbing chuckle escape her lips. Stella curiously wandered over to the woman, watching her knock on the door. But it wasn't the type of knocking that they usually did when they made sure no walkers were inside. It was the real, old-world type of knock.

Stella raised her eyebrows staring at her. She thought that Michonne must've gone completely insane as she continued to chuckle at the door as if she were waiting for it to open.

"What are you waiting for? The walkers aren't gonna roll out the red carpet if that's what you're think-"

Stella was cut off by the creaking door opening slowly. She lifted her gun hastily, making a throbbing main shoot through her body. Her mouth fell open and a weak gasp escaped her lips, her eyes widening in disbelief staring at the person on the other side of the door. It took several moments for her to understand what she was seeing and it wasn't until Carl bolted forward, wrapping his arms around his sister that she realized that she wasn't hallucinating. The boy stood with his arms tightly encircling her waist causing bolts of pain to shoot from her bullet wound but she didn't care. She let out a pained laugh as she held her brother with all her strength, his presence instantly reliving the sorrow that she felt. She kissed the top of his head as she heard his muffled sobs against her shirt.

Gasping cries left her mouth as she saw another familiar figure appear in the doorway.

"Dad," She whispered, launching herself into her father's arm. No pain in the world could stop her from clinging onto him. He grunted slightly as his wounded body crashed into hers but he didn't mind. He held her tightly and felt himself tear up. The two stayed like that for several moments before pulling away. Rick put his hand to her cheek almost to make sure she was real, both of them letting a tear fall at the touch.

Rick's face was swollen with bruises and cuts trailing over it. Stella turned to Carl, kneeling down in front of him with her hands on his face to make sure he was unharmed which he seemed to be before she pushed him into an embrace again.

"I can't believe we found you." Stella wept. "Is Judith..."

Before the last word left her mouth she watched her father's expression turn to a hurt frown. Stella bit her bottom lip feeling her shoulders slumping as the heavy grief washed over her. She tried to not let it show, hoping that Carl wouldn't notice. He glanced up at her, tightening his grip around her making Stella squeeze her eyes shut.

She was forced to keep her happy facade even when she found out about Judith. She couldn't help but feel completely devastated over the fact that her mother had lost her life for nothing. Stella had promised Lori to look after her. She promised Levi. She had failed them both.

But did it really matter in the end. Both of them had left her.

_____ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ _____
𝟐𝟖𝟕𝟒 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬
_____ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ _____

𝐀/𝐍
sorry for the wait

I've been on vacation and unfortunately I'm gonna be on vacation for almost the rest of the summer with only a few days between my travels. I'll try to update as much as possible but just know that being in my dms and comments, trying to rush me or ask for more updates doesn't help. It makes me feel very stressed and it makes me loose my motivation so please try to be patient. I'm trying to prioritize my personal life but still try to get a new chapter out every week.

sorry for all of that. thank u to everyone who's supporting me and not rushing me. I love u

also the chapter from Levi was devastating.