•01/06/17•

I seem to have drifted off this morning in my front yard.

You came.

Thanks for saving me.

It was another happy dream...

It was your birthday. The boys and I planned a big day for you. I stayed up the whole night before, baking you a cake and planning your day. The next morning you woke up to us singing you 'Happy Birthday'. I handed you the cake and you blew out the candles. You looked so happy. Like a little child having the best day of their lives.

I hopped in the bed beside you and wrapped my arms around you, teasing you about how quickly you're growing up. I've really never seen you smile so brightly. As if you've never had people care so much for you before.

We told you to get dressed and that we were going somewhere today.

It took a while to get there, but it was worth it. The place we went; it was beautiful. There were trees all around, rocks and rivers. Just overall nature. It was around Autumn so the trees were all a mix between orange and green. We walked further into the forest area to be met with a more clear area right next to the river. There was a whole set-up. Tables and chairs, cakes and snacks, even party hats. Suddenly these people came out from behind trees to surprise you and wish you a happy birthday. They were mostly close friends of ours, from university classes and dance class, even a few of your family members.

You almost started crying. You tried to cover up your face as you turned around. You kept asking who did this. Most people pointed out to me. You looked up to me through your fingers that covered your eyes. They were watery. You ran up to me and hit my shoulder weakly before hugging me tightly.

"I love you so much, Hoseok," you whispered.

I chuckled and kissed your cheek lovingly before ruffling your hair. "Yah, don't start crying now," I teased you.

The day went by amazingly. We eat and danced and played around. We laughed so much.

Later, you and I snuck away from everyone else. I held your hand as I lead you through the forest. You asked me where we were going. I simply told you that I didn't know and you started to panic.

"Hoseok, I didn't even keep track of the way to get back," you panicked.

I stopped walking and you bumped into my chest. Flustered, you quickly took a small step back but we were still close. "Are you scared?" I asked, curiously.

"N-no," you stuttered. It was cute.

"I want to get lost with you," I said. "I don't care where we are. As long as we're together."

I could see your Adam's apple move as you stared at my lips. Without second thought, I kissed your lips and you kissed me back. I can still feel your lips even now. As if it were real.

When our lips finally parted, I told you not to worry. "We're not lost."

I lead you further down.

We stopped by a huge tree. It looked different compared to others. It's leaves weren't green, nor yellow, but instead a yellow-brown colour. In it's tree trunk was scraped the words 'forever alone'.

"The last time I was here, I was sixteen years old. I just found out about my identity and thought I would never find anyone who would love for me so I sat here and cried while my family was enjoying themselves somewhere else. I scraped these words into the tree," I explained.

You looked at me with so much concern. "Hoseok..."

"But then you came along. You became my definition of perfect. You've never left my side, ever. I want to thank you," I said with a smile, even though my eyes were watery.

Yours became teary too. But you smiled. You smiled and you picked a stick up from the ground. You scraped a line through the two words on the tree. You then handed the stick to me. "Well, now you can scrape something more realistic here," you said.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Hm..." You thought for a while. "'Our love will last forever, like an evergreen tree'," you said and smiled cheekily. "Is that alright?"

I couldn't help but smile back. "Perfect."

Once we finished, we headed back to where the others were. We continued to enjoy our time. At some point people started pleading for us to sing our song to them. Somehow they knew about it. We were reluctant since it was just our thing but in the end we sang our song to them. But every once in a while in the song, we would look to each other for strength and encouragement even as they cheered us on. Everyone loved it. The whole thing.

And so did I. I loved showing them what a great team we made.

What's really weird though is that part of the dream is actually true. When I was sixteen, I actually did scrape those words into a tree. I remember what a crying mess I was.

I hope one day I'll actually be able to scratch out those two words.

Sincerely,
Jung Hoseok