White.
A bright white.
A white so bright that I felt my retinas burning inside of my eye sockets.

Slowly and carefully, I let my eyes flutter open, though squeezing them shut again when the harsh light burst in. Frowning, I tried once more, opening them to see nothing but a blurred white sky.

The more I concentrated and waited, the more it cleared and my vision became more focused. I soon realised that I wasn't looking up at a white sky, but a white ceiling. It was then that I started to hear all kinds of things, things I wasn't aware of at my first blink.

Beeping, frantic talking, doors opening and closing, heels clicking against floors—they were all noises that burst in just as suddenly as the white light had.

I titled my head slightly, trying to see what was going on. All I could remember was Alessia Trent. The darkness, the pain, the emptiness—the knife, and my death, and her death.

I was awake. Had that been a dream? I felt different; perhaps it was because I knew that this wasn't Alessia's room—especially not with all the commotion.

It was then that I thought about the possibility that I was in a hospital, that maybe Alessia was found, and here I am, alive. Or...maybe this was the afterlife.

All ideas were halted when I heard one singular word—a name.

"Olivia?"

I frowned—Olivia. It was a name I knew, and a name I knew well. I had once worn it and shouldered the weight of it, but then it all changed—then I became Alessia. I was Alessia and I had her life.

"Olivia, honey," I frowned, attempting to locate the voice. It was so distinctively familiar, and I was instinctively drawn to it. After a while of hopelessly looking, a face ghosted into my vision. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to concentrate and make the image clearer.

When I did, it was someone familiar to me. She was my mum. She was Olivia Clark's mum.

In a moment of vulnerability, one that I knew would cause a massive disaster, I whispered, "Mum?"

She was still Olivia Clark's mum, but I wasn't Olivia Clark, and so that word shouldn't have fallen from my lips.

But she did not look angry; she seemed relieved, tears spilling a thousand by a thousand. "Oh, honey," she said, brushing my hair back away from my face before tracing the lines of my cheekbones. "You're okay," she whispered.

I frowned. "What..what's going on?" I asked her, glancing around again, expecting to see the real Olivia Clark standing around somewhere.

But there it was—an emptiness of a different kind. I anticipated that I'd see Olivia Clark standing on the opposite side of my bed, with those ridiculous bows braided through her hair, that annoying laugh reverberating off the walls, and the too-happy gleam behind her eyes. But no, there was nothing.

It was like I hit a brick wall suddenly; I was expecting to hear things, feel things, that just weren't there.

"You...you were injured, and you've been in a coma for just over a month. But you're here now, you're okay now."

I was extremely confused at that moment. A coma? The concept was absurd. Whilst I was trying to figure out what happened to Alessia and her hatred for me, Olivia Clark's mum was making up some facade about a coma.

"What?" I asked, turning to look up at her again.

"A coma, Olivia," she said, seeming to sympathise with my confusion, "do you remember what happened to you?" She asked carefully, glancing up at someone behind me. I turned to see a doctor stood beside a wall, holding a clipboard.

I pulled a face. "The fact that I got stabbed by Alessia Trent and now I'm living her life?"

That was the first time that I had pulled it all together like that.

My mum frowned. "You're not Alessia, honey, you're Olivia."

I froze. What?

"No, I'm not. I haven't been for seven months now," I glanced between my mum and the doctor, needing to see them confirm this; they didn't, they just exchanged concerned looks. "It's..it's September, right? That what it was yesterday, or...earlier. That's what it was when I–when Alessia stabbed Olivia, and then...herself."

I sounded confused—very, very confused. But I knew exactly what I was talking about. It was all true, right? It had all happened. I know it had.

The doctor suddenly spoke up, "Olivia, sometimes when people are in comas they dream...much like you would in normal sleep, just more extensive and perhaps more real." She explained.

I frowned between the pair of them. "You're wrong. It wasn't a dream; it was real. It was all real—the pain, the loneliness and the fear. You can't tell me that wasn't real," I sounded insane, "I'm Alessia Trent. I was Olivia Clark, now I'm Alessia Trent.." I broke off horribly, as though I had run out of breath, or ways to tell them that I was absolutely and completely right.

I knew that I was.

The doctor shook her head, "You're Olivia Clark, not Alessia Trent."

I shook my head, glancing between the doctor and Olivia's mum. "I don't believe you," I said, quickly growing agitated as I tried to push myself up on the bed.

"No, you need to be careful, Olivia," Olivia's mum said, ushering me back down.

"I want to see. I want you to show me."

The doctor and Olivia's mum traded troubled glances before they both agreed to walk me to the bathroom's mirror. My legs felt like they weren't even there, my feet touching on nothing. I was weak, but I couldn't understand why; I was fine just yesterday...or, whenever that last was.

When we got to the bathroom, I couldn't wait to get to the mirror and prove them wrong. But when I saw the girl staring back at me, I choked.

The loss of Alessia's hatred for Olivia suddenly made sense. I wasn't Alessia Trent anymore.

I was...I was Olivia Clark.

"Can I have a moment, please?" I asked.

My mum tightened her grip on my left arm, "I don't think that's a good idea, honey; you can barely stand as it is."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine," I promised her, breaking away from the doctors hold, "look, I'll just hold onto the sink." I did so, using my non-existent arm strength to keep me upright.

The doctor convinced my mum that a few moments alone would be fine, and then I suddenly was alone.

I stared into the mirror, at the eyes that stared at me back. It couldn't be real. Seven months—for seven months I have seen those bright emerald orbs. Now they were brown. And my hair, it was definitely dishevelled, but it was not curly. Then there was everything else—my nose, my lips, my body.

I am Olivia Clark.

I slapped my hand over my mouth as a sob almost escaped, my body trembling. I couldn't tell if I was relieved to be back, or at a loss.

I couldn't comprehend it. So, for a month I have been in a coma, dreaming about Alessia's life for seven months?

It was impossible, it can't have just been a dream, everything was so real. The...dream allowed me to see everything about Alessia's life; now I was just back here. I didn't understand it, and I had a sudden sense that I never would.

A knock to the door alarmed me, and I turned to see my worried mum peeking through the crack of the door.

I laughed, "Isn't this meant to be a moment to myself?" I asked, trying to put a brighter mood to play, though I was breaking inside.

She smiled sadly, "I couldn't help it; I was so worried, Olivia, but now you're here, now you're awake."

I beamed, though couldn't prevent the tears that were falling. "Do you believe me?" I asked and my mum frowned, despite that she probably knew what I was talking about.

She averted her eyes, "I believe that you had some sort of dream and that you think that you lived Alessia's life, but it just isn't possible." She said.

I turned away, feeling my lip tremble. "I swear it, mum, it was real, I know it was."

I watched in the reflection of the mirror as she enveloped me from behind, running her fingers through my hair.

"I know," she whispered, "I know."

My mum could say nothing else—what else could she say? It can't be proven, and we both knew that.

I turned around, allowing her to pull me into her arms as I sobbed, remembering how desperately I had wanted this moment in those seven months.

Now, when I looked in the mirror, I looked back. I'm Olivia Clark.

_______________________________

SHE BACK

(idk how it goes and I don't have time to search it up but that reminded me of the start of that song by Vanessa Hudgens—something about baby come back??)

this book really is ending 😭😭

what ever will I do when it ends ?? can not comprehend

-no comprehendo (is that how it goes??)

FABULOUS SONGS

Songs that played when I was writing this chapter (in order):
Out of the Blue - Fleurie
Cold Heart Killer - Lia Marie Johnson
One Last Time - Jaymes Young
Red - Taylor Swift
BTSK - MS MR
Human Nature - Michael Jackson
Bird - Billie Marten
Half Light - BANNERS
Let Me Down Gently - La Roux

END OF FABULOUS SONGS

Date written:
15/10/18

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Next update: Tuesday
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CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT SPOILER:

A love we've all been waiting for.

🕊

CHAPTER COUNT UNTIL THE END OF THE BOOK:
three & epilogue