"Only hate the road when you're missing home,
only know you love her when you let her go."

[POV: Steven]

Flashback.

AS I STOOD AMONG THE SOMBER CROWD, the weight of grief pressing down on my shoulders, my heart felt heavy. The sight of Nova, tears streaming down her face as she bid farewell to her mother, evoked a storm of emotions within me. The pain of losing someone so dear, combined with the increasingly strained nature of our relationship, had administered a crushing blow, leaving me feeling lost and broken.

The funeral had become the backdrop for our final unraveling, a bittersweet symphony of love and loss, engulfing us in a sea of conflicting emotions. Once we got back to the beach house and the whole memorial cookout for Susannah happened, I noticed how different she was acting, way more different.

She had fought with both Conrad and Belly today, she didn't say why though. I was feeling extremely worried, worried to the point I started to feel a headache.

The weight of our shared sorrow bore down on us, bridging the chasm that had grown between us. In that moment, I realized how deeply we had drifted apart, how our love had become overshadowed by grief and unchecked emotions.

As the ceremony came to an end, I approached Nova, my voice trembling with a mix of regret and sorrow.

Steven: "Nova, I...I think we need to talk." -I managed to stutter out, my heart aching at the thought of the question I didn't want to ask.

She turned to face me, her eyes filled with a blend of grief and confusion, marring the beauty that once shone so brightly within her. Her voice, barely above a whisper, trembled as she responded.

Nova: "What is it, Steven?"

Steven: "Are we going to be okay?"

Nova's voice quivered as she spoke, her words punctuating the solemnity of the backyard of the beach house.

Nova: "Steven, I wanted to have this conversation but I just couldn't find the right time to talk." -she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The weight of grief hung heavy in the air, amplifying the gravity of her words.

As we stood there, surrounded by the echoes of birds chirping, I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach. The despair of losing Susannah was already a burden, and now the weight of uncertainty threatened to drown me.

Steven: "Okay, talk to me...what is it, beautiful?"-I managed to say, my voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and confusion.

Her eyes met mine, filled with a mixture of sadness and determination.

Nova: "Look, there's no easy way to say this but...I-I think we need to break up." -she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

The words hung in the air, as if time itself had paused to process the magnitude of what she had just uttered.

My heart constricted in my chest, the pain suddenly overwhelming.

Steven: "Wh-why? What happened?"-I struggled to find words, my mind racing to comprehend the suddenness of it all.

Nova took a shaky breath, her emotions evidently wrestling within her.

Nova: "It's just... I've realized that life has changed a lot throughout this past months. We've both changed too, and I think it's best if we take some time apart to figure things out."

My mind reeled, searching for an explanation that could appease the whirlwind of emotions inside me.

Steven: "But I love you, Nova. Don't you love me too?" -I pleaded, hoping that my love alone could be enough to mend whatever rift had formed between us.

She looked at me with tear-filled eyes, a mixture of sadness and guilt etched upon her face.

Nova: "I do love you, Steven. But sometimes, love isn't enough. We need to heal, to find ourselves again. And I don't think we can do that if we stay together right now."

Steven: "We can work it out."

Nova: "Not right now, okay? You see, Belly and Conrad have their problems with Jeremiah too. It's making things really hard for us throughout all of this horrible situation."

Steven: "That's their problem, I want to be with you and take care you throughout all of this." -I spoke once more, stepping near her.

Nova: "Steven, I know...but I don't think I can be in a relationship right now. I truly appreciate and love you for wanting to do this for me, but I truly can't."

Steven: "Nova, please."

I tried holding her hand but she quickly stepped back, her eyes darting towards the ground with embarrassment.

Nova: "I beg you to please understand, okay? Don't make things harder, please?"

The weight of her words felt like a heavy blow to my chest. The reality of her pain and the depths of her grief became intertwined with the unraveling of our relationship. I couldn't help but feel a pang of bitterness, a twinge of anger at the timing of this decision. But in that vulnerable moment, I realized that I had to set aside my own pain and anger for the sake of her well-being.

Softening my voice, I placed a trembling hand on Nova's arm.

Steven: "I understand, Nova. If this is what you need to heal, then I'll respect your decision."

A tear fell down the girl's eye, falling through her cheek which ended up reflecting some of the freckles I counted countless of times. I wiped it away and embraced her gently.

Steven: "Just know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what...always." -I said, my voice filled with an unwavering support.

Tears continued to stream down her face as she nodded, a mixture of gratitude and anguish etched on her voice.

Nova: "Thank you, Steven. I don't want to hurt you, but I need to focus on finding myself again."

She then pulled away and looked up at me, her hand reaching for mine and holding onto it tightly.

Nova: "Maybe, in the future, we can find a way back to each other."

I nodded in agreement, forcing a smile to flash across my face. We stood there in silence, tears mingling with sorrow, as the weight of our love and loss enveloped us. In that moment, we both understood that, however painful, this breakup was an opportunity for growth and healing. It was a chance to rediscover ourselves, to find solace in the midst of overwhelming grief.

And so, we parted ways that day, the beach house's mournful atmosphere still heavy in the air.

With heavy hearts, we embarked on separate paths, hoping that one day, the wounds would heal, and we would find our way back to each other, stronger and wiser.

The funeral became the unfortunate collapse of our relationship, the final nail in the coffin of what had once been a love as vibrant as the sun.

Now, as I reflect upon that day, my heart heavy with regret, I am haunted by the memories of our shared grief turning into the catalyst for our separation. The pain lingers, a constant reminder of what we once had, and what we lost on that solemn, devastating day.

End of flashback.

Nova and I, had been dancing to some of the music playing at the party. She hadn't noticed I was looking at her the whole time, she just looked so free and beautiful all at once. Just when I started to think I had already let go, there she is appearing back into my life and proving me wrong completely.

She is still the sunlight, just like Susannah used to say.

As the music swelled and the party still buzzed around me, my eyes landed on Nova again. There she was, continuing to dance with a grace and radiance that I had missed so dearly. I keep thinking about everything, seeing her again, after what felt like an eternity apart, stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me.

My heart raced as memories of our time together flooded my mind. The love, the laughter, the passionate conversations—all of it seemed to float on the air, a bittersweet reminder of what once was.

My gaze lingered on Nova, and I couldn't help but marvel at how breathtakingly beautiful she looked, her smile lighting up the room.

I'm repeating myself, right? Well, yeah...that's how crazy she drives me.

Unfortunately, beneath the joy and admiration, a pang of regret and longing tugged at my heart. It was a stark reminder of the pain we had both endured, the hurt that led us down separate paths. I couldn't help but wonder if things could have been different, if we had fought harder for what we had.

As she danced with an effortless grace, a part of me yearned to join her. The temptation to reconnect, to feel the warmth of her presence once again, was almost overwhelming. But I hesitated, uncertain of how she would react, afraid of reopening old wounds.

Caught in this whirlwind of mixed emotions, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Ethan, this one offering a gentle nudge forward.

Ethan: "Go talk to her, Steven." -he urged, his voice filled with both encouragement and understanding.

Steven: "I just feel like I can't."

Ethan: "Yes you can, dude. Trust me, she's probably wishing you do so right now."

I chuckled by the way he spoke, watching how the boy then rolled his eyes and turned me to face Nova again.

Ethan: "Go."

I took a deep breath after his word, summoning all the courage I had left within me, and slowly made my way towards Nova. Each step felt heavier than the last, my nerves threatening to consume me.

But as I reached her side, I saw a flicker of surprise in her eyes, quickly replaced by a guarded smile. Silently, we began to sway to the rhythm of the music, our bodies moving in synchrony as if they were trying to remember the dance we once shared. The silence between us spoke volumes, echoing the past pain and lingering hopes. It was both tender and fragile, a reminder that we had embarked on separate journeys but still carried a piece of our history within us.

As the song came to an end, I mustered the courage to break the silence.

Steven: "You look beautiful." -I whispered in her ear, my voice sincere but tinged with regret.

Her gaze met mine, a mixture of acknowledgment and vulnerability. In that moment, I could see the strength it had taken for her to be here, facing the remnants of our shared past. It was a powerful reminder that healing wasn't linear, and the wounds we carried weren't easily forgotten.

Nova's smile, tinged with forgiveness, silenced the doubts that had plagued me since our breakup. Amidst the echoes of our past, I saw a glimmer of possibility. Maybe, just maybe, we could allow ourselves to rebuild, to let time and growth bridge the gaps between us.

As the night continued, we danced and talked, slowly reclaiming fragments of what we had lost. It wasn't perfect, and there were still moments of hesitation and uncertainty. But in the midst of it all, I felt a flicker of hope—a hope that, given time and understanding, we could find a way to heal and perhaps create something new.

Standing beside Nova, wrapped up in the melodies of the night, I couldn't help but be grateful for this unexpected chance encounter. It was a reminder that love, though sometimes painful and complicated, had the power to transform, to mend even the most broken of hearts. And as we danced, I silently vowed to do everything in my power to honor that love, to create a future that would make both of us proud.

Nova: "Hey, do you think we can seat down for a bit? My feet are killing me, literally." -she asked, letting out a chuckle by the end of her question.

I nodded in agreement, holding onto her arm so she wouldn't struggle walking that much. And as we reached some nearby chairs, she quickly took a seat.

Nova: "Wow, this is insane."

Steven: "What's insane?"

Nova: "Being in a party after so long." -she replied, glancing up at me.

Steven: "Do you feel okay?"

The girl flashed a reassuring smile my way, tilting her head as she stared at me. There was that look...that damn look. Her ocean eyes shined my way, beautifully glowing underneath the moonlight's glow.

Nova: "Do I look like I'm not okay?"-she asked, making me chuckle as I took a seat beside her.

Steven: "You look way too okay."

Nova: "Exactly! I hadn't feel happy in...so long."

I could see how fast her mood fell once she realized what she said, my hand instantly reached for hers, grabbing onto it tightly and reassuring her as best as I could.

Steven: "Susannah would've enjoyed seeing you like this, Nova."

Nova: "Really? Cause I feel the opposite, I don't know why."

Steven: "Nah, you know how much of a party monster Susannah was. She would be dancing right there where we were, not even allowing any sad or slow music to play."

I heard how she then chuckled, glancing at the stage in front of us.

Nova: "Drinking some of her margaritas, smiling like there was no tomorrow and forcing us to dance with her." -she added, smiling faintly as she stared off into the distance.

Steven: "Totally."

As her gaze darted to me then, nerves accumulated me once more. The intensity of her gaze, filled with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty, pierced through my defenses, leaving me vulnerable and exposed.

In that split second, emotions continued to flood my senses. Nervousness and anxiety, tinged with a desperate longing, swirled within me. I wanted to hold her, to make her understand how deeply I still cared, despite the pain we had both endured.

But as quickly as our eyes connected, Nova looked away, her gaze focusing on something or someone else. The flicker of hope that danced within me was instantly extinguished, leaving an ache in my chest. I couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same nervousness I did, if she was thinking the same thing I was thinking.

Nova: "When do yo-"

Belly: "Steven, Taylor wants us to join her at the stage."

I glanced aside to see Belly, quickly then seeing her frightened expression. She was staring at Nova, the blonde one also looking back at my sister in complete shock.

Belly: "Nova?"

Belly: "Belly."

[POV: Nova]

Right there in front of me, I spotted Belly across the small space we were in. Her eyes locking with mine, a lot of emotions flashing on them.

Realizing that this was our chance to reconnect, I stood up and made my way towards Belly, the sound of laughter and celebration fading into the background.

As we stood face to face, I offered a tentative smile.

Nova: "Hey, Belly. It's been a while."

Belly returned the smile, a mixture of relief and apprehension coloring her expression.

Belly: "Hi, I didn't know you were coming...I'm glad we finally have a chance to talk again."

The weight of our previous argument still lingered in the air between us, weaving an intricate tapestry of unspoken emotions.

Steven: "Hey, do you want me to leave you two alone?" -Steven asked, grabbing onto my waist suddenly as he stood up.

I glanced at him with surprise over his sudden action, looking down at his hand on my waist and back to him. He noticed what I did, quickly taking his hand off.

Steven: "Sorry."

Nova: "It's fine...and yeah, I'll like a few minutes alone with, Belly."

He nodded quickly, looking over to Belly who only smiled awkwardly his way. I then took a deep breath once Steven had left us completely alone, mustering the courage to address the elephant in the room.

Nova: "Listen, I want you to know that I've had time to reflect on what happened at the funeral"

I confessed, my voice filled with a mixture of apology and understanding.

Nova: "Yes, the timing of your argument was hurtful, but I also recognize that grief can make us act in ways we wouldn't normally." -I spoke, hearing how Belly exhaled, her eyes glistening with gratitude and humility.

Belly: "I appreciate your understanding, Nova. I never meant to cause more pain on such a difficult day. I've learned a lot from that experience and I want to take steps to reconcile with both Conrad and our loss."

A sense of relief washed over me. I had come to the party ready to confront Belly and Steven, but instead I found myself open to forgiveness and reconciliation.

Nova: "It takes strength to acknowledge our mistakes and work towards healing, I'm glad to hear that you're making efforts to mend our family's bonds. It's what mom would have wanted." -I replied, my voice softening with empathy.

Belly then nodded, her gaze filled with determination.

Belly: "You're right. Susannah would have wanted us to come together, to support each other rather than tear each other apart. I'm committed to making that happen, okay?"

Lost in our conversation, the noise of the party seemed to fade away. I felt my heart opening up again, mending the fractures that had caused such pain. It was a gradual process, one that required time and effort, but we were taking the first steps towards rebuilding our friendship.

As some minutes carried on, with music pulsating through the air and laughter ringing out, Belly and I continued to exchange stories, memories, and even a few moments of laughter. But, that short time didn't last for too long once I felt my phone vibrating.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, looking at the screen that was currently being lighted up by a picture of Conrad and I appearing on the screen.

My eyebrows frowned instantly, as I realized he was calling.

Conrad, my twin...calling...after so long, again?

Nova: "Shit, give me one second, I'm so sorry." -I quickly said, receiving a nod from Belly as I walked off to find a quiet area while answering the phone call.

I felt instantly that something was wrong once I heard gasping coming through the phone call, as I reached the front of the house and the music was slightly faded away...I spoke.

Nova: "Hello? Conrad?"

Silence.

Nova: "Conrad, are you okay?" -I asked, pacing around the sidewalk of the neighborhood.

Conrad: "Beach house, now...please."

The boy said out of breath, then the phone call ended. I pulled my phone away from my ear and looked at the screen covered in fear, time felt like it was moving pretty fast now.

As I was about to run towards the house again to tell Belly I needed to leave, I saw Ethan's keys already inside of the car. What kind of person leaves their keys visible inside their car? Even worse, the car unlocked.

I texted Ethan an apology for stealing his car quickly, adding to the message and apology for Belly and Steven that I hoped Ethan would show to them.

Then, I ran towards the car and opened it as soon as I could. I took a deep breath as I realized I was going to be driving for five hours, fear overtaking me as I thought I wouldn't arrive in time to see what was wrong with Conrad.

But I still drove, for five hours.

I kept trying to call him back while crying uncontrollably, but he wouldn't answer. Many questions roomed in my brain at that moment, why the hell was he in cousins? Why wasn't he at college? Should I call Jeremiah and tell him? Would Conrad hate me if I do so? I couldn't concentrate at all at that point.

My hands trembled on the steering wheel as I navigated the familiar streets towards home. It was now three in the morning, and my heart raced in my ches. A knot of worry tightened in my stomach still, over the call from Conrad.

Hearing his labored breaths as if he were on the brink of a panic attack, sent a wave of unease crashing over me.

I glanced at the surroundings that had once felt so safe and comforting. The streetlights flickered in the gathering darkness, casting eerie shadows on the pavement. Normally serene, tonight they seemed to taunt me with their indifferent glow. Every passing car felt like a potential threat, making me even more apprehensive about the journey ahead.

With each passing minute, my mind was still filled with endless questions. What could have happened? Why was he so breathless? Conrad was always so calm and composed, like I've said...he is a pillar of strength in my life. The mere thought of him struggling with panic or anxiety was enough to twist my nerves into knots.

My grip on the steering wheel tightened, making my knuckles turn white. I tried to rationalize, searching for reasons why Conrad might have sounded so distressed. Perhaps it was just a momentary panic, triggered by something trivial. But deep down, I knew that wasn't the case. I knew him better than anyone, recognizing the fear in his voice.

The road stretched out before me like an unending labyrinth, each turn bringing me closer to the unknown. I wished I could simply close my eyes and wake up in the safety and comfort of home, the whole ordeal nothing more than a terrible dream. But reality held tight, forcing me to confront the situation head-on.

Every passing street sign seemed to mock me, reminding me of the distance left to travel. The once-familiar route now felt alien, as if it were conspiring against me. My mind raced, conjuring up worst-case scenarios, each more terrifying than the last. I desperately fought to remain composed, my anxious thoughts threatening to overpower me.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a text notification, jolting me out of my tumultuous thoughts. Conrad's name flashed across the screen, and with trembling hands, I reached for my phone. The text read, "I'm okay. Just got a little overwhelmed. Take your time, sis. Please, still come over."

A mix of relief and frustration washed over me, thankful that Conrad was safe, yet frustrated by my own imagination running wild.

I took a deep breath, as if the very act could steady my racing heart. I reminded myself that I needed to be strong, both for myself and for my brother. The road ahead might be daunting, but I knew I could face it head-on.

With newfound determination, I continued driving. The sounds of passing cars faded into the background, replaced by a quiet resolve to support Conrad through whatever he was going through.

As I approached the dimly-lit street where home stood, a glimmer of hope pierced through the lingering nervousness. No matter the challenges we faced, we would always find solace and strength in each other.

Finally, I reached the house's driveway, my body trembling with a mixture of anticipation and fear. Conrad's call had left an indelible mark on my psyche, rendering me paralyzed by the unknown.

I took a deep breath, summoning all my courage, and stepped out of the car. Each footstep towards my front door felt like crossing a precipice towards the abyss.

Unlocking the door, I hesitated for a moment before entering. The silence inside hung heavy, intensifying my nerves.

Nova: "Conrad?! I'm home!" -I called out, my voice trembling, hoping for a reassurance, a sign that everything was alright.

And then, amidst the echoing silence, a response, a familiar voice. Conrad's voice, nearer than I expected, filled with relief and exhaustion.

In that moment, my fear dissolved into a tidal wave of relief. Conrad was safe. It wasn't the calamity or danger that my anxious mind had conjured, but still, the vestiges of unease lingered.

As I stepped deeper into the house, Conrad emerged from the hallway, his face etched with a mix of exhaustion and disbelief. His eyes met mine, and I could see the torment swirling within them.

Nova: "Conrad, what happened?"

Without a word, he embraced me tightly, finding solace in our shared connection.

Conrad: "I'm so done with this shit." -he sobbed onto my shoulder, catching me by surprise since this was the first time I saw him this way.

Nova: "Wha-what do you mean, Conrad?"

Finally, as he pulled away, I mustered the strength to ask again.

Nova: "Conrad, what happened? Why did you sound so shaken up on the phone?"

His voice was tinged with sadness as he spoke, his words hesitant and heavy.

Conrad: "Nova, I just found out that...that they're selling the house. Our childhood home. Mom's house."

[End of chapter]

Sofia's notes:
Hi, how are you? 😏 I know, pretty much struggling to not hate me after leaving this in a cliffhanger 💅🏻 but don't worry!! next chapter will be out sooner or later.

I'm sick so...that's shitty.

First time making a pov of Steven!! which was pretty fun. I hope you enjoyed reading his thoughts 😏

ALSO!! sorry if this chapter has writing errors, sooner or later I'll try to edit whatever error I'm able to find. Remember English is not my first language, so there's probably a lot of writing errors in there.

That's it, see you all soon!! Don't forget to vote and please don't be a silent reader 🫶🏼

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