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009.
WE'RE STILL BREATHING,
AREN'T WE COWBOY?

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      "So are you gonna tell me what to do, or am I supposed to just sit here all pretty?" Natalia mindlessly plucked strands of grass from the ground, watching as her sister, Abraham, and Eugene worked on the bus. Rosita was situated in the driver's seat fiddling with the ignition, the scientist's task at hand was unknown, and the redhead was underneath the front end. 

     "As if you've been helpful for the past hour," the Espinosa slung her hand lazily over the steering wheel, glaring down at her younger counterpart in a bore. 

     Talia stood up from her criss-cross-applesauce position, dusting off her knees that had some dirt on them. "And Eugene's helping?"

     "What the hell else is he gonna do? We're talking about Eugene, not a fuckin' social butterfly," Rosita rebutted as her hand raised slightly for a second, before lowering back down to the wheel. 

     "In case you all have managed to forget, I am actually restoring the interior, so the bus won't be smelling as deathly upon our departure," he came into view, his lips pressed thinly together. Natalia couldn't pinpoint what he was doing— she wouldn't of been shocked if it was nothing at all. "And quite frankly—"

     Watching the man explain himself in a very thorough manner, Talia held up her hand to shush him. "Quite frankly, I don't give two flying fucks," her eyes traveled to the girl, "Ro— buses aren't my area of expertise. You got somethin' for me to help you with or not?"

     "Get out of my hair. That's what I want you to do."

     Taking the hint, the teenager wandered around the side of the church, going in through the front. Tyreese cradled Judith, bouncing her up and down on his knee. Up towards the altar, she watched as Carl ran his hand over the banisters, seeming intrigued by it. "Whatcha doin?" 

     With the new voice sounding, it snapped the boy out of his thoughts abruptly. "Looking for a reason to not trust this guy."

     Natalia nodded in comprehension; she believed he was harmless, but who knew? Maybe it was all just a facade— people had come up with some genius shit in the midst of an outbreak, all to just get by. It wasn't too far-fetched that that could be any different. "Have you found one?" 

     "Nope," Carl bit his lip, permitting the hand that was resting on the intricate wood fall back down to his side. "You look outside yet?" 

     "What kinda thing you lookin' for? Dead bodies? Oh wait—" she jeered, causing him to sigh over-dramatically. Could she ever be serious? "If someone's hiding something, they do everything to keep that hidden, Grimes. I don't think he would've went off with your dad otherwise. But, just to humor you— let's go look outside." 

     So that's what the two teens did, scouring the surrounding area for any sort of misplaced or off-putting nuance. Naturally, there wasn't any certain way of telling so, but the ground seemed untouched— at least as of late. It was packed so firmly together, leading Natalia to believe that nothing suspicious was hiding buried underneath. 

     Finding a place that was still in pretty good shape overall was rare; she was mildly surprised at all of the glass windows still intact. Personally, she had shattered more window panes than she could possibly count since the start, making it possible to climb in and scavenge a place when the front doors weren't exactly accessible. 

     Suddenly, she took a closer look at the exterior of the church, and the sight made her brows furrow. Furrow, not only in dismay, but also in the fact that she had been so very wrong. 

     Along the wood, there were a few slashes in the building, and the farther back she walked, the more they popped up. Chips signaling that it was need of a paint job were also prominent, but there was a blatant difference between the two imperfections. One was just natural, and the other was deliberate. 

     With that, Talia grabbed a small pocket knife from her holster, and made a downward slice in the wood. That was when her suspicions were confirmed— all of those marks did, in fact, come from people. 

     "Lia!" a voice hollered from the other side, before she even got the chance to alarm him of her own discovery. "Look," he pointed at some carvings: 

YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS

     "Well fuck me sideways," she muttered in disbelief, "I found something too. Come here." Beginning to return to the wall she found her evidence, Carl just stood there, arms crossed and unmoving. "What?" 

     "I'm waiting."

     "For what, cowboy?" 

     "For the 'you were right, cowboy, I'm so sorry for doubting you'," he explained while mocking her voice pretty accurately, to which the brunette simply rolled her eyes and clenched her jaw. 

     "Yeah, alright. You'll be standing there 'til you get eaten alive," Talia countered quite honestly, but he remained still and silent. In amusement, she watched him with a taunting glare, knowing damn well she'd win. After all, she always did. 

     After a solid thirty seconds, Carl exhaled audibly "Fine. Whatever," he rolled up the sleeves of his flannel in annoyance, making the Espinosa smirk in satisfaction. She led them back towards the marks. "Are those—"

     "From knives. It wasn't accidental," Natalia informed; but still— she wasn't worried, or threatened. Fear barely consumed her at that point; whatever happened—well— happened. Over anything, she happened to be curious. Intrigued. What could angelic little Gabriel of done that made someone want him to burn? And, more importantly, if whoever wrote that message and slashed his walls wanted him to burn so bad, they why hadn't his church been set on fire a while ago? "You worried about it?" 

     "No. Are you?" Carl's head slightly tilted, examining the girl's features for any sign of worry. There wasn't any. 

     A small shake of the head. "I'm well past that. We've all done shit— I'm not putting my full trust into the guy, but was I ever going to in the first place? No." Carl's eyes squinted slightly, seemingly dwelling on her answer.

     "Hey," Rick's voice emerged as he walked towards the two. "Tyreese said you were out back. Come on in. We found food. A lot of it."

     Naturally, Talia perked up at the mention of food, as it always did. "That's great!"

     The older Grimes laughed lightly at her enthusiasm, pleased to see the child overjoyed by that. Looking over towards his son, he noted his posture and how he seemed fixated on something. "What is it?" 

     "Oh yeah—these scratches. They're deep. From knives, undoubtedly," Talia informed logically, running her index finger along one of the grooves in the wood. 

     "Someone was trying to get in," Carl added, "I found something else. And I don't know happened, but... whatever it is, we can handle it," he spoke in this badass-taking-charge tone, causing Natalia to grin at his leadership; following in Daddy's footsteps, for sure. For when Rick Grimes had his honorary demise, and he had to acquire the role. "Doesn't mean Gabriel is a bad guy for sure, but— it means something."

»——⍟——«

     Night had fallen, and all of them had come together to prepare a large feast for everyone to enjoy. Talia poured herself a glass of wine as if it was nothing, and Glenn glared at her amusedly. "Hey, hey! You twenty one yet?" he momentarily snatched the bottle and her glass, to which she pressed her lips together in order to suppress a chuckle. 

     After fixing her plate, she took a seat at the first pew, with Carl to her left. The atmosphere was quite warm and cozy in her opinion, with candles littered around the space, illuminating the dim church. "Alcohol?" he questioned her in disbelief. 

     In return, she sighed, shaking her head. "What, you gonna call the police on me?" her eyes travelled to Rick, who was occupying himself with Judith. "My siblings always used to slip me a glass of champagne at parties, but nobody seemed to care."

     "I tried it once— after," the boy's face soured slightly, "It was shitty."

     Talia scanned the room, watching everybody in their own conversations with one another. Admittedly, it was nice. In a way, it almost felt like some sort of gathering from before the outbreak. The teenager adjusted her legs to a criss-cross position on the bench, before settling in. "I like this. Everyone's happy, it's calm. Seeing everyone happy is nice, you know?" 

     Carl hadn't known Natalia for all that long, but it was different to hear her say something along those lines. Usually, it was 'fuck this ' and 'suck that ,' and as much as he loved listening to her smart ass remarks, he would've been lying if that new side of her being shown wasn't his favorite. Now, he could've thought of multiple jokes to make in that given moment, but soon decided against all of them. Because if he did say one of them, that elated mood she was in would've disappeared in a heartbeat. "Are you happy?" 

     She seemed taken aback for a second— caught off-guard. "If everyone around me is, then that's all I can ask for. Yeah— I'm happy."

     The Grimes boy noticed how quickly she responded to that question— he was looking for a more thoughtful answer. Something more complex, more from the heart. "You sure?"

      With Carl's eyebrows raised, Talia exhaled. "We're still breathing, aren't we cowboy?" she replied softly, a tiny smile etched onto her features. He mirrored the gesture, and proceeded to eat the food that their group had scavenged earlier in the day. 

     "I'd like to propose a toast!" Abraham's deep voice boomed over the rest, causing everyone to quiet down and turn their focus to the sergeant. "I look around this room, and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!"

     "Survivors!" all of them said back, raising their drinks in the air before taking sips. 

     "Is that all you want to be?" the redhead continued. Whether it was because the group had began to eat, or because there was nothing to say back, it went dead silent. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse, and repeat? Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength— you got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now we get Eugene to Washington, and he will make the dead die, and the living will have this world again. That is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."

     Talia watched the man speak so proudly about the topic; she was excited too. Even that wasn't the word. Saving everyone seemed like a pretty solid way to be known— or, even if her name wasn't well-known, then she would've known. And solely that was just enough for her. For all of the troubles they endured, and all of the lives they lost along the way, it would definitely be satisfying to accomplish. Besides Abraham, Natalia was more than likely the next most passionate about the endeavor. 

     "Eugene, what's in DC?" 

     Lowering the glass from his lips, he gazed upward when the focus was brought to him. "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge— restart."

     "However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who got nothing left to do except survive."

     All of the survivors met eyes with one another, waiting for someone to speak up and give a response. Judith cooed gently, making everyone chuckle at the fact that she was the only one to give an answer. "What was that?" Rick asked the infant, "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."

»——⍟——«

     "Stop," Sasha sternly commanded, making Natalia snap her attention towards Gabriel. A little while earlier, Bob, Daryl, and Carol had gone missing, leaving Rick's group in a wild frenzy. Maybe they weren't all expressing those emotions when it first happened, but they certainly were now. "What are you doing?"

     Uneasily, the priest tiptoed forward, curious as to what the Williams woman meant by that. "What are you doing?" she recapitulated, "This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."

     "I... I don't... I don't have anything to do with this."

     A high-pitched shrill carved its way through everybody's ears, and Talia shot up to her feet as realization kicked in. "Sasha, what the hell?" she bellowed, but the faint touch on her shoulder stopped her from acting out further. 

     "Don't!" Rosita hollered at the same exact time as her sister, only for Abraham to hold her back. 

     "Sasha, put it away," Tyreese talked some sense into the girl, which was probably the only thing preventing her from slicing his throat then and there. 

     Her teeth gritted, she got even closer to Gabriel in an even more threatening manner. "Who's out there?"

     "I don't have anything to do with this," he insisted, his hands trembling as they acted as a barrier— a sheild. 

     "Where— are our people?"

     "I don't have anything to do with this."

     At the top of her lungs, Sasha repeated her previous statement, in case it wasn't loud and clear that time around. "Where are our people!" 

     Natalia flinched at the outburst of emotion, much like the man receiving the backlash himself. Heart rate quickening, at that point, she was genuinely just waiting for someone to pull out a gun and shoot someone. Tension was looming thickly over the group like an inescapable cloud that was surrounding them all. 

     "Please, I don't have anything to do with this."

     Rick benevolently pulled the raging woman back, and then took her place by stepping forward. "Why'd you bring us here?" he calmly inquired, which was a pleasant change as opposed to the screaming match. Gabriel stuttered, failing to muster up full sentences. "You working with someone?"

     "I'm alone," the bald man reiterated, doing everything in his power at that given moment to convince the group he wasn't a bad guy. "I'm alone. I was always alone."

     "What about the woman at the food bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? 'You'll burn for this?' That was for you— why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel?" he suddenly took the priest by the collar, "What did you do? What did you do?!"

     His lip shuddered, knowing that he couldn't lie any longer. It wouldn't work out, for he'd end up with a bullet to the brain. "I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always—" Gabriel momentarily broke down, sending a wave of sadness through Talia. "They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were— they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe. And it was so early, it was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see— it was my choice."

     Everyone nodded along, silently encouraging him to continue after a brief pause. "There were so many of them, and they were trying to pry the shutters, and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so, the dead came for them. Women— children— entire families calling my name as they were being torn apart, begging me for mercy. Begging me for mercy. Damning me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all. The Lord sent you here to finally punish me. I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors! I always lock the doors."

     Natalia lowered her head at the man's story— she wasn't frustrated, or angry with him in the tiniest bit. Everyone had done something; everyone was hiding their monsters, whether they'd care to admit it or not. The brunette teenager knew that all too well. And for Gabriel to be sobbing on the floor uncontrollably wasn't something she necessarily blamed him for. 

     "There's something—" Glenn was peering out the back of the church, trying each window to see which one gave off the most optimal view. "There's someone outside laying in the grass." Without hesitation, many of them scrambled to the set of doors without thinking twice. 

      Talia's mouth dropped at the sight displayed just a mere ten feet away from her, at the bottom of the steps. Rosita hugged the youngest Espinosa from behind as they gaped at Bob's unconscious body laid out on the grass. 

     "Shit."

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ALLY SPEAKS!

     i'm back with my babies who i absolutely adore. anyway, i changed the layout from here on out but am not going back in to the other chapters to edit it. thank you to those who have stuck with this story, i love and appreciate the comments so much <3