HEARING DAMAGE
TEEN NOLA - CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN !

warning— kinda graphic description of a stillborn baby ahead. I will place an * just before the paragraph it appears in for anyone that wishes to avoid it.

            PURE, UNADULTERATED HORROR COURSED as she watched Shauna's eyes fall closed. Her breathing had begun so incredibly shallow at this point. While the others fussed over the baby that had finally been birthed from Shauna's womb, Nola remained completely frozen to the spot, paralysed with fear. Suddenly, she whimper out, "Shauna?"

            Shauna's chest was flat, unmoving. She showed no reaction to her name being called whatsoever. Her head had lulled to the side, cheek pressed against the pillow that supported her head.

"No, no, no." The Rilke girl chanted fearfully, her bottom lip wobbling as she rushed forward. Her hands reached out to grasp onto Shauna's face, cupping her pale, sweat covered cheeks.

Her panicked cries managed to grab the other's attention. They glanced away from the baby to catch the sight of Nola's hands desperately roaming Shauna's body, searching for a sign of a pulse, anything to let her know Shauna was still alive and breathing. Her whimpers were growing louder as their eyes grew wider.

Where the fuck is it? Her voice screamed in her mind. No matter where on Shauna's body she reached for, whether it was the neck, the wrist or right above her heart, the telltale beat of heart pulsing and the blood pumping just wasn't there.

Shauna's entire body had grown still. She was no longer just pale, she was practically translucent. She'd lost so much blood. The blanket that had been strewn across Shauna's torso was rumpled up as Nola now began to shake the girl. "No. No, Shauna! Wake up." She cried out, pleading with all her heart for the Shipman girl.

Natalie rushed past everyone and made a dash for Nola. Her knees fell to the floor with a hard crack as she reached out, grabbed hold of the brunette and attempted, with all her strength, to pry Nola away.

Nola struggled against her hold as she attempted to  continue pushing and pulling at Shauna's body. A flood of tears was now washing down her cheeks and snot was leaking from her nose. The taste of saltiness entered her mouth as she continued to sob. "Shauna, wake up!"

Natalie tried her hardest to rip Nola away, to stop her from falling apart more than she already had. Her own tears had to be held back, no matter how badly they stung. She tried to reach around the brunette to perhaps grab at her hands and remove them one by one from Shauna. This proved entirely futile as the emotionally charged Nola shook her free with ease.

*

Unbeknownst to Nola at the time, the baby, which had been silent as it was pulled free from his mother, had unfortunately been stillborn. She had been far too preoccupied with Shauna to pay the child much attention and thus had been none the wiser to the baby and his lack of a cry. His little tiny face, so small and sweet, had been a light shade of blue, his little lips that should have been a rosy shade of pink, had already begun changing to black.

He had most likely faded away not long after the placenta had detached due to a lack of oxygen. The only good thing was that he hadn't suffered for long and he'd died still enveloped in Shauna's womb, lulled to his final sleep by the beat of his mother's heart.

The heart that was no longer beating.

A wail befitting only the most mythical of all the Irish folklore, came roaring from Nola's chest. Her throat was scratching, her face entirely red and her chest burned with each breath she took. It ached. It hurt so fucking badly to continue breathing when Shauna wasn't.

Nola eventually fell back into Natalie's arms, gasping for fresh air through her fit of excruciating, chest crushing cries. "Shauna." She choked out once last time before gasping for a large gulp of air. Her body shook in Natalie's arms as the blonde rocked her back and forth, shushing her while comfortingly patting her head.

The others had now gathered around the bed, each with their own tears trailing their faces. Faint, muffled by the hand sobs could be heard in the otherwise silent cabin. No one knew what the say, what to do.

"Nola?" Someone, she wasn't sure who, hesitantly called out to her. Everyone seemed skittish around her, like she'd break at the lightest of touches.

She sniffed hard. Her breathing came out in rapid pants while she finally sat up as Natalie freed her from her hold. "I wanna hold him." Nola stated shakily.

      Without hesitation, Misty rushed forward and quickly placed the baby in Nola's awaiting arms. The baby was wrapped up tightly, his little body safe and as a warm as they could get it. Her bottom lip trembled as she held the baby, pressing him close to her body. This didn't feel right. Holding him didn't make her feel better, in fact it made her feel even worse. What should she do? Did she put him down? Did she hold on to him? Either option didn't seem right. Putting him down felt like they were discarding him, holding on to him felt like a betrayal to Shauna. She should be the one to hold him, not her.

Not knowing what to do, she just kept holding him. Sooner or later he would have to be buried, so why not keep him close, show him some just a little bit of love and comfort before he'd be enveloped by the cold of the earth.

The cabin sat still. Silent. No one knew what to do so they just didn't do anything. They were all just too consumed with grief to fully comprehend anything that had to be done. The time seemed to quicken in pace, hours turned into mere minutes.

            A sudden sharp gasp filled the air. "No—no! No, no, no!" Shauna cried out, her eyes shooting open and her body jolting upward. Shock coursed through them at the sight of the girl who had lacked a pulse mere seconds ago, suddenly up and moving.

           Taissa reached out in an instant, her hands patting and gliding over Shauna's face to sooth her. She tried her best to settle the brunette as she shuddered with each breath of fresh air that entered her lungs. Panic etched itself onto Shauna's face. "What did you do? What did you do? What did you do?" She panted out as her eyes darted frantically around the room.

           "Where is he? What did you do? What did you do?" Shauna continued to question. She wasn't making any sense as her face was finally captured between Taissa's hands. Tears formed and stung at Nola's eyes as she clutched the baby closer. The others all looked on with their own faces painted with pain, with pity and sorrow.

           Taissa cried sadly as the pads of her thumbs gently ran along the expanse of Shauna's cheeks. "You lost a lot of blood and you were unconscious." The Turner girl whimpered out. "We thought we lost you."

           "What?" Overwhelmed and in a state of confusion, Shauna couldn't hear the words being spoken to her. Instead, she struggled against Taissa's hold, quickly ripping one of Taissa's hands away from her face as she desperately scanned the room, searching for her baby.

            Her gaze bounced wildly around the room and back at Taissa. "Where is he? Why are you lying? Why are you lying? Where is my baby?"

            Everyone else stood by, feeling like outsiders looking in at Shauna's grief and agony as it slowly began clinging to her and enveloping her. Their mouths were dry, their throats all containing a thick lump of emotion that refused to shift no matter how much they swallowed.

           "Where is my baby, Tai? Where's my baby?" Shauna's voice trembled as she pleaded for her baby. "Where is he?"

            Nola curled the baby closer for just a moment as she rose to her knees and shuffled closer to the brunette. She couldn't bring herself to look the girl in the eye as she numbly handed the baby over.

As he was gently set atop his mother's awaiting arms, Misty sobbed from guilt. "I'm sorry, Shauna, l'm sorry." Her voice faded out to a whimper as she shakily repositioned her glasses atop the bridge of her nose. It had been her job, her responsibility to bring him out safe and sound. But she failed which was something Misty would never forgive her for.

Shauna's brows knitted together as the flurry of questions ceased. Her mouth hung open, her lips cracking and stinging as her tears trailed down to them. Her doe brown eyes dropped to the tiny, weightless body wrapped up in the blanket. She had yet to even look at him though her heart began aching.

          "He didn't make it, Shauna."

The weeping brunette grew wary of the words spoken to her in an instant. They went in one ear and out the other. It couldn't be true, they had to be lying. "No. No, no." She stuttered out. This couldn't be. He couldn't be dead. She glanced up at the group, desperation overwhelming her eyes as she implored for them to be truthful.

           When all she saw was sympathy upon their faces, her head slowly began to shake. "No, h-he was alive! I held him. I held him, Tai." Shauna sobbed, insisting with all her might as she held the baby tight to body. Her eyes darted rapidly around the room as she exclaimed, "He was alive!"

            "He was alive and I-I held him. I-I tried to feed him. And then I finally fed him and he was crying."

            The more claims she's made of her son and all the things she had done with him, things that had clearly only happened in her unconscious mind, the more everyone choked back outbursts of misery. All they could was watch Shauna hold her dead son in her arms and listen as she tried in vain to convince them all of her son and the crying that never once been heard.

           "He was crying. I-I fed him, I fed him." Her voice grew more faint as her pants grew bigger. Her mind just couldn't comprehend the truth in front of her, not when the version that her mind had fed her rivalled reality so deliciously.

           But when she finally tugged back the blanket, away from where it had pooled around her son's face, once she caught just a glimpse of his little face, her heart snapped in two and she let out a wretched, choked up sob. "No."

           "He was crying!" She continued to claim, however now she was insisting. Insisting that he really had been crying and it had simply fallen on deaf ears. She pulled back the blanket once again, now swearing to them all, "I-I can still hear him crying. He's still crying."

            "He's hungry, don't you hear him crying? Don't you hear him crying? Can't you hear him crying?" Her voice dripped with hopelessness. She was a broken shell of her former self, desperate to believe in a delusion she knew deep down wasn't real.

           The girls that had been gathered around Shauna slowly rose to their feet and began to back away, none of them being able to look her in the eye and tell her what she she desperately wanted to hear. Her voice grew louder and simultaneously shakier as she continued to plead with them. "Why can't you hear him cry?"

           Taissa tried her best to console the brunette, shushing her and attempting to soothingly rub her hands up and down Shauna's arms. This did very little to stop Shauna's sobs as she shook away Taissa's hands. "Why can't you hear him cry?"

          She finally allowed herself to fall into Taissa's arms as tears flowed like a waterfall down her cheeks. Once her own cries began to die down, the Turner girl pulled away and moved from the bed, ready to give Shauna the time she needed to mourn as best as she could under the circumstances.

Though she had finally accepted the heartbreaking reality, Shauna just couldn't help but continue to ask, "Why can't you hear him cry?"

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jamielee's thoughts.
chapter thirty-seven. not proofread.
sophie's performance in this scene was so amazing and it annoys me so much that she wasn't even nominated. short chapter, i know but i felt this chapter was just too sad to continue on into the next episode. anyway i hoped you enjoyed :)