chapter thirteen:
❛ aftermath ❜

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Arizona stared at her reflection in the mirror, the hum of the hair dryer fading as she switched it off. The jet-black hair framing her face was a stark contrast to the person she felt like inside—a mix of numbness and confusion. The past two weeks had been a blur, a whirlwind of emotions and consequences she hadn't been fully prepared for. The ankle monitor felt like a constant reminder of her mistakes, of how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

She ran her fingers through her hair, admiring the way the new color caught the light, revealing hints of brunette. It was a small change, but it made her feel a little more like herself, or at least the version of herself she wanted to be now. The girl in the mirror was different from the one who had walked into school two weeks ago. She was quieter, more withdrawn, but also more determined.

Arizona sighed and set the hair dryer down on the counter, reaching for her phone. She hadn't heard from many people since the fight, and she hadn't exactly reached out either. It was easier that way, she told herself. She didn't want to face the disappointment in their eyes, the questions she didn't have answers to. Even karate, something that had once been her escape, felt like a distant memory. The idea of stepping back into the dojo filled her with anxiety—too many memories, too much judgment.

Her phone buzzed, breaking her thoughts. It was a text from Tory, asking if she was ready to head to work. Arizona quickly typed back a response, saying she'd be there in twenty minutes. Work had become her lifeline, a way to distract herself from everything going on at home. The roller rink was loud, busy, and full of energy—everything she needed to keep her mind off the silence that awaited her at home. The restaurant job with Tory was new, but it was steady work, and she appreciated the routine.

As she grabbed her bag and made her way downstairs, she glanced at the empty bottles scattered around the living room. Her mom was passed out on the couch, as usual. Arizona's chest tightened at the sight, but she forced herself to keep moving. There wasn't much she could do about her mom—she'd tried, but it always ended the same way. Her dad was gone, and she didn't expect him to come back. It was just her now, navigating a life that felt like it was teetering on the edge.

Arizona slipped out the door, locking it behind her as she headed to her car. The air was cool, and the sun was starting to set, casting long shadows across the street. She checked the time on her phone, making sure she was within her allowed hours. The ankle monitor beeped softly as she moved, a reminder that she was being watched, tracked.

When she arrived at the roller rink, Tory was already there, leaning against the wall with a cigarette in hand. "Hey," Tory greeted, flicking the ash off the end of the cigarette. "You ready for another thrilling night of roller-skating madness?"

Arizona managed a small smile. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Tory looked her up and down, noticing the new hair color. "Nice. It suits you," she commented, before stubbing out the cigarette and heading inside. Arizona followed, feeling a little lighter at the compliment.

As the night went on, Arizona threw herself into work, trying to keep her mind occupied. But every now and then, her thoughts drifted back to Miguel. She hadn't visited him in a few days, afraid of what she might find. The image of him lying in that hospital bed, motionless, haunted her. She wasn't sure how to deal with the guilt that gnawed at her, the feeling that she could have done something—anything—differently.

By the time her shift ended, Arizona was exhausted, both physically and mentally. She said goodbye to Tory and drove home, the streets quiet and empty. When she got back, the house was still, her mom still out cold on the couch. Arizona sighed, heading straight for the shower to wash off the day.

Once she was clean and changed, she sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall. The silence was deafening, her thoughts too loud. She buried her face in her hands, finally letting herself feel the weight of everything that had happened. The fight, the probation, the ankle monitor, her fractured relationship with her mom, and most of all, the uncertainty surrounding Miguel.

Arizona knew she had to keep moving forward, but right now, it felt like she was stuck in place, treading water in a sea of uncertainty.

Arizona laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She turned to see her younger brother, Diego, standing hesitantly in the doorway. His wide eyes and hopeful expression told her he wanted something.

"Hey, Ari," Diego began, using the nickname he'd called her since he was a toddler. "Can I sleep over at Ethan's house tonight? His mom's coming to pick me up soon."

Arizona smiled at her little brother, who was growing up too fast. "Sure, Diego. Just be careful, okay? And make sure you have everything you need."

Diego nodded, though he lingered in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot. "Are you gonna help Mom?" he asked quietly, his eyes flicking to the floor.

Arizona's smile faltered slightly, but she kept her voice gentle. "Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to help her again."

Satisfied with her response, Diego grinned and turned to leave, his footsteps echoing down the hallway as he went to gather his things. Arizona sighed deeply, the weight of responsibility pressing down on her shoulders. She stared up at the ceiling for a moment, lost in thought. Everything felt like it was crumbling around her, and she was desperately trying to hold the pieces together.

After a minute, Arizona shook herself out of her reverie and stood up, deciding to head downstairs. Just as she reached the bottom step, the doorbell rang.

"Diego, your friend's mom is here!" Arizona called out as she walked toward the door. But when she opened it, expecting to see a middle-aged woman ready to pick up her brother, she was instead met with the sight of Robby. Her heart skipped a beat, and without a second thought, she swung her fist at him, her emotions surging.

Robby, quicker than she anticipated, caught her fist in mid-air. "Whoa, whoa! Arizona, I just want to talk," he said, his voice urgent but calm.

Arizona yanked her hand back, her anger barely contained. "You're the one who sent my boyfriend into a coma!" she spat, her eyes blazing with fury.

Robby's face darkened with guilt, but he didn't shy away from her accusation. "I know. I'm not here to fight, Arizona. I just... I need your help."

Arizona crossed her arms, skepticism written all over her face. "Help with what, exactly?"

Robby glanced around nervously, as if expecting someone to jump out and arrest him at any moment. "I need a place to crash, just for tonight. Tomorrow morning, I'm leaving for Mexico."

Arizona's eyes narrowed as she studied him. "And how do you know I won't just call the cops? They're looking for you, you know."

Robby met her gaze steadily. "I know you won't."

For a long moment, they stood in silence, the tension between them thick enough to cut with a knife. Arizona let out a long sigh, the fight draining out of her. She stepped aside and opened the door wider. "Fine. Come in."

Robby stepped inside cautiously, his eyes sweeping over the room. Empty bottles littered the floor, and Daniella, Arizona's mother, was passed out on the couch, her body slack and lifeless in her drunken stupor. Arizona felt a deep pang of shame, but she kept her face neutral, quickly leading Robby toward the stairs.

As they reached the staircase, Diego appeared in the hallway, his bag slung over his shoulder. He looked from Arizona to Robby, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Who's that?" he asked, suspicion lacing his tone.

Arizona forced a smile, trying to keep things light. "No one, Diego. Just a friend. Have fun at your sleepover, okay?"

Diego didn't seem entirely convinced, but he nodded, giving Robby one last look before heading out the door. Arizona watched him leave, her heart heavy with the knowledge of what she was hiding from him. Once he was gone, she shoved Robby into her room and closed the door behind them.

Robby stood in the middle of her room, glancing around at the various posters that covered the walls—bands, movies, and a few karate-related images. His gaze lingered on one poster in particular, and Arizona wondered if he saw some irony in it.

"You can take the bed," Arizona said, breaking the silence. "I'll sleep on the floor."

Robby shook his head, already moving toward a spot on the carpet. "The floor's fine for me."

Arizona frowned, crossing her arms. "No. I insist. Take the bed."

Robby looked up at her, and for a moment, something like gratitude flickered in his eyes. He nodded, standing back up and moving toward the bed. As he did, his eyes fell on a small collection of bottles arranged neatly on her dresser.

"What's that?" he asked, gesturing toward them.

Arizona's expression softened as she walked over to the dresser. "Oh, those are my essential oils. They help with different things—relaxation, focus, even headaches. This one," she picked up a small bottle filled with a pale purple liquid, "is lavender. It's good for sleep."

Robby listened as she explained a few more, his interest seemingly genuine. For a moment, it was almost like they were just two normal teenagers talking about something mundane, not fugitives hiding out from the world.

As the conversation trailed off, the weight of their circumstances settled back in, and the room grew quiet again. Robby leaned back against the wall, his gaze drifting toward the door.

"So... your mom," Robby began cautiously, not sure how to approach the subject.

Arizona sighed deeply, running a hand through her freshly dyed hair. "I don't know. We barely know each other. I'm not even sure why I'm helping you."

Robby shrugged, his expression unreadable. "Maybe because you understand what it's like. To feel like everything's out of your control."

Arizona looked at him, considering his words. "Yeah... maybe. My dad... he was a cop. Or at least, he used to be. He was gone for years, and I thought he was dead. But then he came back, and it turned out he was in witness protection because of some bad guys. When he came back, he was... different. Strict. Controlling. My mom... she couldn't handle it. She started drinking again. She went to rehab, but it wasn't enough. Not with him back."

She paused, her voice wavering slightly as she continued. "Last time I saw him, he slapped me. Right there in the hospital, after everything that happened. And then he just walked out."

Robby was silent for a long moment, absorbing everything she had said. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer, more understanding. "That's rough. But... I get it. My dad... Johnny, your sensei... he's my dad. He wasn't really around much when I was growing up. My mom... she's a drug addict. But she's in rehab right now. Tomorrow, before I leave, I'm gonna go see her. I don't know if she'll even want to see me, but... I have to try."

Arizona looked at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his words. For the first time since he'd shown up at her door, she felt like she could understand a bit of the pain he was carrying. "I guess we're both running from something, huh?"

Robby nodded, his gaze distant. "Yeah. I guess we are."

They sat in silence for a while, the unspoken understanding between them hanging in the air. It wasn't much, but in that moment, it was enough.

After a while of sitting in silence, Robby finally broke it, his voice a little hesitant. "Do you mind if I use your shower?"

Arizona looked at him, surprised by the request, but nodded. "Yeah, sure. It's down the hall on the left. There should be towels in the closet."

Robby thanked her quietly and headed out of the room, leaving Arizona alone with her thoughts. She sighed, taking in the state of her room and the mess downstairs. It was bad enough that she had let Robby in, but the last thing she wanted was for him to see just how far things had spiraled out of control in her house.

Once she heard the water running, Arizona got to work. She went downstairs and began picking up the empty bottles scattered around the living room. The clinking sound of glass filled the silence as she gathered them up, stuffing them into a large trash bag. When she was done, she moved over to her mom, who was still passed out on the couch.

"Come on, Mom," Arizona whispered as she gently shook her mother awake. Daniella groaned in response, barely conscious, but Arizona managed to get her to her feet. Supporting her mother's weight as best as she could, she guided her upstairs to her bedroom. Daniella mumbled incoherently as Arizona helped her into bed, pulling the covers over her.

Arizona paused for a moment, watching her mom drift back into unconsciousness. She wanted to say something—anything—to reach her, but the words felt hollow. Instead, she just whispered, "Good night," before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

By the time she returned to her own room, Robby was already out of the shower, standing by her dresser and looking at her collection of essential oils again. He was wearing a clean t-shirt and jeans that he must have had in his bag. His hair was damp, and he looked a little more relaxed, but there was still tension in his posture.

"Can I use one of these?" Robby asked, turning to her with a bottle of lavender oil in his hand.

Arizona nodded. "Yeah, sure. Just put a few drops on your wrists or pillow. It helps you sleep."

Robby gave her a small, appreciative smile before applying the oil as she instructed. Arizona watched him for a moment, then walked over to her sleeping bag, which she had laid out on the floor next to her bed. She unzipped it and climbed in, the soft material cocooning her.

"You can take the bed," she reminded him.

Robby hesitated but eventually nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Thanks... for letting me crash here," he said, his voice quiet.

Arizona shrugged, her eyes on the ceiling. "Don't mention it."

For a few moments, they both lay there in silence, the events of the past few weeks weighing heavily on their minds. But then Robby spoke up again, his voice tentative. "That whole school fight... it got out of control. I didn't mean to hurt Miguel like that. It was just... heat of the moment."

Arizona turned her head slightly to look at him. "Why did you kick him off the railing?"

Robby's face tightened with regret. "I don't know. Everything was happening so fast, and I just... I lost it. I was angry. But I never wanted it to go that far."

Arizona didn't respond immediately, the memories of that fight replaying in her mind. She could still see Miguel falling, the way his body crumpled as it hit the ground. The sight had haunted her ever since.

"What about you?" Robby asked after a while, breaking the silence. "Why did you go after Sam like that?"

Arizona's expression hardened at the mention of Sam. "She kissed my boyfriend. It's not the first time she stole him from me, either."

Robby's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Arizona sighed, feeling the bitterness welling up inside her. "We were friends before. She knew I liked Miguel, and while I was mad at him, she went on a date with him. She didn't even tell me. So I stopped being friends with her. I've hated her ever since."

Robby nodded, understanding more about the tension between Arizona and Sam now. "That must've hurt."

"It did," Arizona admitted, her voice softer. "And I was already dealing with so much at home... It just pushed me over the edge."

They lapsed into silence again, the quiet of the room only broken by the distant hum of the shower pipes as they cooled down. Arizona felt exhaustion creeping up on her, the weight of everything finally starting to take its toll.

"I guess we're both a little messed up," Robby said quietly, more to himself than to her.

"Yeah," Arizona agreed, her eyes drifting shut. "Maybe."

As the silence settled in again, Arizona found herself drifting off to sleep, the events of the day and the night weighing heavily on her. In that moment, with Robby lying a few feet away, the anger and bitterness she usually carried felt a little lighter. It wasn't gone, but for the first time in a long while, she didn't feel completely alone.

In the early morning light, Arizona slowly woke up, blinking against the soft glow filtering through her window. She sat up in her sleeping bag, rubbing her eyes as she looked around her room. Her bed was empty; Robby was gone.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips. She wasn't surprised, really. She had half-expected him to slip out before she woke up, especially considering his plan to flee to Mexico. Still, she couldn't help the frown that tugged at her lips. For a brief moment last night, she had felt a strange sense of connection with someone who seemed to understand a bit of her chaos. And now, he was just... gone.

Arizona pushed herself out of the sleeping bag and stretched, trying to shake off the lingering grogginess. The house was unusually quiet. She left her room and padded downstairs, thinking about grabbing something to eat. Her stomach rumbled slightly, reminding her she hadn't eaten much the night before.

As she entered the kitchen, she was startled to find her mom, Daniella, already up and sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in hand. Daniella looked more awake than Arizona had seen her in weeks, though the dark circles under her eyes were still evident.

"Mom?" Arizona asked in surprise, pausing in the doorway. "You're... up?"

Daniella looked up from her coffee, her expression unreadable. "Yeah, couldn't sleep," she replied, her voice flat. She took a sip from her cup, her gaze drifting away again.

Arizona blinked, unsure of what to say. It had been a long time since she had seen her mom like this, somewhat present. "I was, uh, gonna go see Miguel," she said, breaking the silence.

Daniella didn't look at her. "Whatever," she muttered, dismissively waving a hand.

The casual indifference in her mother's tone made Arizona's chest tighten. For a brief second, she had hoped for something—anything—that resembled the warmth and support she used to get from Daniella before everything fell apart. But that hope evaporated as quickly as it had come.

Arizona frowned, the hurt settling deep in her gut. She didn't expect her mom to jump for joy at the mention of Miguel, but a part of her had wished for something more than the cold, distant response she got. "I'll be back later," she said, her voice quieter, more subdued.

Without waiting for a response, Arizona turned and headed back upstairs to get ready. As she changed into clean clothes, her mind raced. The encounter with her mom only added to the heavy weight she had been carrying for so long. She couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that clung to her, even in her own home.

Once dressed, she ran a brush through her newly dyed hair, letting the long strands fall back into place. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, the dark hair contrasting sharply with her pale, tired face. It was strange seeing herself like this, so different from the girl she used to be.

With a final look in the mirror, Arizona grabbed her bag and headed downstairs. As she passed the kitchen, she hesitated, glancing at her mom one last time. Daniella was still sitting there, staring into her coffee as if it held all the answers to her problems.

Arizona bit her lip, fighting the urge to say something. But what was the point? She knew it wouldn't change anything. So she left the house quietly, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

As she walked down the street toward the bus stop, the early morning air was cool against her skin, a stark contrast to the warmth she longed for in her life. Her thoughts drifted to Miguel, and the sight of him lying unconscious in that hospital bed. It was the only place she felt any sense of connection now, even if it was with someone who couldn't respond.

With each step, Arizona tried to push down the overwhelming sense of emptiness, focusing instead on the familiar routine of visiting Miguel. It was all she could do to keep herself going.

Arizona entered the hospital, the sterile scent of antiseptic and the soft hum of fluorescent lights greeting her as she approached the front desk. The nurse behind the counter glanced up, offering a polite smile.

"Hi, I'm here to see Miguel Diaz," Arizona said, her voice steady despite the nervous flutter in her chest. "Just wanted to make sure his room number hasn't changed."

The nurse tapped on her keyboard, checking the information. "He's still in room 304, just like before," she confirmed with a nod.

"Thanks," Arizona muttered, turning away and heading toward the elevator. The ride up to the third floor felt like an eternity, the cold metal walls of the elevator pressing in on her as she stared at the floor numbers ticking up.

When she finally reached Miguel's room, she paused outside the door, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Pushing the door open, she stepped inside, immediately noticing Carmen and Miguel's Yaya seated by the bed. The quiet beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, the only sound besides the soft rustle of fabric as Carmen looked up at her.

"Hola, Arizona," Yaya greeted her in Spanish, her voice warm but tinged with sadness. "Estás aquí de nuevo. Es bueno verte, niña." (You're here again. It's good to see you, child.)

Arizona offered a small smile, replying in her halting Spanish, "Gracias, Yaya. Es bueno estar aquí." (Thank you, Yaya. It's good to be here.)

Carmen rose from her chair, giving Arizona a gentle, understanding look. "We'll leave you two alone," she said, her voice soft. She placed a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder as she passed by, a silent gesture of support.

Arizona watched as they left the room, the door clicking shut behind them. She turned to face Miguel, her eyes immediately drawn to his still form lying on the bed. The sight of him like this—so vulnerable, so quiet—made her heart ache. She walked slowly to his side, pulling up the chair that Carmen had just vacated.

Sitting down, Arizona stared at him for a long moment, unsure of where to begin. "Hey, Miguel," she finally whispered, her voice trembling slightly. "It's me... Arizona."

She reached out, her fingers brushing lightly against his hand, which was limp and unresponsive. "It's been two weeks," she continued, her words coming out in a rush as if she had to get them out before they overwhelmed her. "I'm on probation now... for the fight at school. And for... for hitting Sam."

She swallowed hard, the memories of that day still fresh in her mind. "I'm really lucky they didn't press charges," she added, her voice dropping to a whisper. "But I've got this ankle monitor now, and I'm expelled. I might just get my GED instead of going back to school."

Her gaze shifted to the window, her thoughts drifting. "My mom... she's drinking again. I thought maybe after rehab... but with everything that's happened, she's just... not herself. And my dad... he still hasn't come back. I don't even know if he will."

Arizona felt the tears building up, her vision blurring as she struggled to keep herself together. She couldn't bring herself to tell Miguel about Robby, about how he'd shown up last night and how she'd let him stay. It felt wrong somehow, like a betrayal, even though she hadn't done anything.

"I don't know what to do anymore," she confessed, her voice breaking. "Everything's falling apart, and I just... I miss you. I miss you so much, Miguel."

The tears finally spilled over, rolling down her cheeks as she stared at his peaceful, sleeping face. "I need you to wake up," she pleaded softly, her voice choked with emotion. "I need you to tell me everything's going to be okay. Because I... I don't know if I can do this without you."

She leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I love you," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Please, come back to me."

With a heavy heart, Arizona wiped her tears away and stood up. She lingered for a moment longer, her eyes taking in every detail of Miguel's face as if she could memorize it all.

Finally, she forced herself to turn away, walking slowly to the door. She didn't look back as she left the room, her heart heavy with the weight of everything unsaid. As she made her way through the hospital and out into the fresh air, the world outside felt too bright, too loud, too real.

But she kept walking, her mind a swirl of thoughts and emotions she couldn't quite untangle. There was nothing left for her to do but keep moving forward, even if every step felt like it was taking her further away from the person she loved most.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her from her thoughts. She pulled it out and saw a text from Carmen. Her heart skipped a beat as she read the message: "He's awake."

For a moment, Arizona stood frozen in place, the words not quite registering. Then, as the reality of what she'd just read hit her, she felt a surge of adrenaline. Without a second thought, she turned on her heels and sprinted back toward the hospital, her heart pounding not just from the exertion but from the flood of hope and fear coursing through her veins.

The only thought in her mind was to get back to Miguel as fast as she could.

ASH SPEAKS!

this season is gonna be a ROLLERCOASTER.