A pained silence had fallen over Bellamy and I as we made our way back to camp, Atom's body being carried between the two of us. 

Bellamy carried the load of the weight, my arms burning from the exertion. He had noticed the way I winced as we walked, and had automatically taken the burden of it. 

"We couldn't have done anything." I finally spoke, voice wavering. "We both would have died if we stayed out there any longer."

I couldn't tell if my words were to convince Bellamy or myself more. Nonetheless, he looked over at me. "When I came to get you...I should have grabbed Atom, too."

"No." I argued instantly. "You couldn't have, Bellamy. There was no way."

His eyes drifted back to the forest in front of us. Our camp could now be seen, the campfire illuminating the night sky. 

As we neared, my heart began to hammer in my chest again at the prospect of Octavia learning of Atom's death. I didn't want to see my best friend's heart break. It already hurt enough envisioning her reaction. 

"I've got him." Bellamy said, taking all of the weight from my arms. "Can you—uh— can you talk to Octavia?"

I looked toward him, noting the pain on his face. He didn't want to see Octavia's heartbreak anymore than I did. "Yeah." I whispered, the two of sharing a final uneasy look before stepping into the thick of camp. 

At our arrival, everyone in camp quieted down. One person noted the body in Bellamy's hands, and then another, and another. 

No one dared say a word as Bellamy gently laid Atom's body down by the fire, draping a jacket over his face. 

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, turning from the scene to search for Octavia. I prayed that she hadn't seen our arrival. 

Luckily, I found her sitting by the Dropship. As I made my way toward her, she stood up in exasperation. "There you are!" She exclaimed. "Did Bellamy and Atom come back with you?"

Damnit.

"Yeah." I answered, forcing a smile onto my face. It didn't reach my eyes, and I think Octavia could sense that. 

"How's Jasper?" I questioned, attempting to steer the conversation in another direction, at least for a moment. 

She looked at me skeptically. "He's okay. Clarke and your brother got back just before you guys and got him the medicine."

I nodded, the sad smile still on my face. "Good. That's good."

"Aves." Octavia pressed, her eyes searching my own. "What's going on?"

People had begun to gather around the fire, everyone wanting to get a look at who was underneath the jacket. Unfortunately, this caught Octavia's attention. 

I reached out to her, trying to pull her back as she began making her way past me. "Tavia." I begged, my voice pleading. "Just hold on. Let me talk to you."

She ignored me, pushing past me and heading straight for Bellamy. I shot him a desperate look, trying to let him know that I had failed. 

He met my gaze, his eyes soon flitting back to his sister. "Octavia, just stay there." He ordered, giving her a light shove backward as she approached. 

I followed after her, my heart beating a mile a minute at the horror she was about to witness. 

Unsurprisingly, Octavia ignored her brother and pushed forward anyway. Silence fell across the camp as she slowly knelt down next to the body. 

Hesitantly, she reached out her had and carefully pulled the jacket away. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his lifeless face again. 

Octavia breath came out as a gasp. "Atom." She whispered as murmurs began to fly around the camp. 

"There was nothing I could do." Bellamy assured, attempting to defend himself. 

His sister didn't want to hear any of it. Her hand shot up, signalling for him to stop. "Don't." She snapped coldly, tears already flooding her eyes. 

My face pinched in sadness as I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Octavia." I whispered as she pulled the jacket back over Atom's face. She needed to know this wasn't Bellamy's fault. 

My hand abruptly fell as she stood, turning her back to us as she made for the forest. 

"O!" Bellamy called, turning in the direction she had taken off in. 

I gave Bellamy a sad look as everyone in camp began whispering among themselves. This was our first official death on the ground. We had lost the two on the way down due to Finn's grand idea, but Atom was our first loss on Earth. There was a lot to talk about. 

"I'll go talk to her." I offered, lightly brushing past Bellamy in search of my best friend. 

I walked through camp, eventually stopping just outside the boundaries of our little safe haven to find Octavia sitting on a rock, her knees pulled up to her chest. "Tavia?" I asked gently, kneeling in front of her.

She looked up at me, her eyelashes wet. "I can't believe he's gone. Just yesterday he was—he was here."

"I know." I whispered sadly. 

"Were you—" She paused, taking a deep breath. "Were you there? Did you see him?"

I looked down at my feet for a moment, not prepared to tell her everything that happened. "Yeah. I was there."

"So he wasn't alone when he—"

I cut her off as I shook my head. "No. He wasn't alone."

Resting her chin on her knees, she nodded. "Good."

After a moment, she dropped her knees from in front of her chest. "I'm going to miss him." She admitted.

I didn't say anything at first, but just pulled her into a tight hug. 

As she quietly cried into my shoulder, I squeezed her tighter. "It'll be okay, Taves. I promise."

---

After giving Octavia some more time to digest what had happened, the two of us joined Monty and Finn in the Dropship where they were keeping an eyes on Jasper. 

Monty, took a gulp of a bottle of liquor that had somehow appeared in camp. "Smooooth." he slurred, a sloppy smile on his face. 

He reached out with a cough and handed the bottle to Octavia. She took it gratefully, tipping it back to take a swig. As the liquor met her lips, she scrunched her face up in disgust. "Disgusting." She coughed. "I love it."

With a grin, she handed the bottle to me. I shot her an amused look as I took it. Brining the bottle to my lips, I felt myself cringe as the liquid slid down my throat, burning along the way. "Where'd you get this, anyway?" I wondered, handing the bottle off to my brother. 

"Found an old car in the forest. It was in there." he answered with a small grin. 

"That's—uh— that's concerning." I muttered, unsure if hundred year whiskey was the best idea.

Finn shrugged, letting out a small laugh as he brought the bottle to his lips. As he tipped it back, another voice filled the room.  "Can I uh—get a hit of that?"

All of us turned in shock to see Jasper trying to sit up, a loopy smile on his face. He was alive. 

 "Jasper!" Monty exclaimed, as we discarded the bottle, rushing to Jasper's side. 

"Let's start with the soft stuff first." Finn suggested, holding a canteen of water up to Jasper's lips. He took the water gratefully. 

Monty reached out and allowed Jasper to grip onto his hand, pulling him up from the spot he'd been laying for the last several days.

"Was that a dream or did I get speared?" Jasper wondered, a grin playing on his face.

I couldn't help but smile as Clarke entered the room, a smile on her face as well. "You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."

"My saviour." Jasper exclaimed with a smile.

"Thank you," Clarke said approaching Jasper's side, "For not dying. I don't think I could have taken that today."

"Well, I'll try not to die tomorrow too if that's cool." Jasper grinned, all of us breaking into large smiles at his words. 

He then looked over at Octavia and I with a lopsided smile on his face, "Oh, hello!"

My face mimicked Jasper's as did everyone else's. In that moment, I thought maybe everything was going to be okay. We may have lost Atom, but Jasper was okay. We could heal from this...move on. 

I was hopeful...but the next morning when I awoke, everything has changed. 

---

Wells was dead.

I was awoken with the news early in the morning and Clarke, Finn and I had buried him before daylight broke. 

He had been stabbed right outside of the makeshift wall we begun building and Murphy and Bellamy had used his death as a way to scare the other kids into working harder.

We were building up a wall that would hopefully keep something like this from happening again. If we could keep the Grounders out, maybe we could stay safe. 

I did my best to keep myself busy. The more time I spent unoccupied, the more time I had to think about the fact that another one of our own was dead. 

Working alongside Charlotte, the two of us tied a series of knots around logs. The aim was to create trusts for the walls. We had been making fast work, and I had to admit that I was enjoying her presence. 

My zoned in groove was interrupted when Connor, one of the boys in camp, fell to the ground in exhaustion. The log he was carrying thumped to the ground next to him, gathering the attention of those closest. 

"Hey!" Murphy yelled, making his way toward us. "You think the Grounders are just going to sit around and wait for us to finish the wall? Maybe we should let the girls do the lifting for you huh?" he asked, motioning towards Charlotte and I.

Connor let out a cough. "I just need some water, okay? Then I'll be fine."

"Murphy," Bellamy beckoned, approaching the scene, "Get this guy some water."

Murphy scowled at Connor before stalking off. I rolled my eyes as I watched him go. "Someone's on a power trip." I muttered.

"Hey, you got this?" Bellamy called to Charlotte, nodding down at the discarded log. "You got this?"

Instantly, Charlotte dropped what she was doing and rushed towards the log, bending down to grab it. 

Bellamy stuck out his hand, a genuine smile coming to his face. "I'm just kidding." he promised, picking the log up himself and walking off.

I smiled at Charlotte as she rejoined me. "You're a good worker, Charlotte." I admired. "You're a good asset to this camp."

She smiled shyly. "I just want to show everyone that I'm not some little girl."

"Bellamy knows you're not." I assured. "I know it, too. Trust me, when I was thirteen, I never could have imagined joining a hunting party with a bunch of older boys. I would have been terrified."

I decided to leave out the part that when I was thirteen, I was still locked in a cabinet. That wasn't the point of my story. 

Blushing, Charlotte shrugged. "Like Bellamy said, fear is weakness down here."

I rose my brows, somewhat impressed with her maturity. "Wow, something Bellamy said has actual—"

My words fell dead in my throat as I watched Murphy re-approach Connor. He didn't have any water in his hand. What he did instead caused my mouth to fall open in shock. 

He stood behind Connor, undid the zipper to his pants and peed on his back. Just when I thought Murphy couldn't get anymore despicable. 

"What the hell?" Connor snapped, jumping to his feet and spinning around to shove Murphy"I'm going to kill you!"

"You said you needed some water." Murphy smirked as the the two of them were broken apart by a few other boys. He then turned to look at the rest of us who were gaping in shock.  "Everybody get back to work!"

With anger coursing through my veins, I turned to Charlotte. "I'll be right back, okay?" 

She nodded, a slight look of concern overtaking her features as I dropped what I was doing and began making my way toward Murphy, fists clenched at my side. 

"You know, you really are the biggest jerk I've ever met." I spat as I approached him. I was done watching him bully everyone in this camp. 

He turned to look at me with an amused smile on his face, "Considering you lived soley in a room for eighteen years, I'm not going to take that one to heart. Nice try though, Freakshow."

That was when I snapped. 

I wasn't sure why it was now, but it was. In one swift movement I had pulled back and punched Murphy. 

Two feelings overwhelmed me as I pulled my hand back and cradled it against my chest. One was relief, the other was pain. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Murphy spat, clutching onto this cheek. "You crazy bitch! I'm going to—"

"Hey!" Bellamy snapped, stepping in between the two of us. "What the hell is going on here?" He looked between Murphy's swollen cheek and my increasingly swollen hand. I think he knew what was going on. 

"Little Freakshow over here just punched me." Murphy exclaimed, looking past Bellamy to glare at me. 

A slight smile was creeping onto Bellamy's face as he looked over at me. He did his best to conceal it, but it was there. "Murphy, go get cleaned up." he ordered.

"Really?" Murphy spat. "That's it?"

"You heard him, get out of here you little rat." I snapped, stepping towards Murphy which caused him to rush off towards one of the tents.

Once Murphy had scurried off, Bellamy looked to me with an amused expression. "Did you seriously hit him?" 

I shrugged, trying to stifle my own smile. "He had it coming." 

With that, I turned and rejoined Charlotte who grinned up at me as we got back to work. I fell back into my pattern of quick work...even if my hand was throbbing.