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"𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲"

NOTHING CHANGED, actually everything did.

I stayed here my entire life, living alongside the beach. The sounds of waves crashing against the coast and the smell of sea salt just outside of my bedroom window.

Everything has changed ever since I was 10. I lost my father to a heart attack and my mother to her grief. People would say I'm "rebellious" and "antisocial" but in all honesty it isn't entirely true.

Yes, I do the normal rebellious things a teenager would do; sneak out to parties, smoke and drink. The usual. But it feels...wrong?

Selena had stopped visiting Cousins when we were 12 years old – I had lost all contact with her, I felt stupid waiting for a reply.

Why did she leave?

Why didn't she at least say goodbye?

I haven't been spending much of my summers with the Conklin's or the Fisher's, I've been staying home or partying at random strangers houses. For the fun of it, if you will.

Staying away from the Fisher's and Conklin's was a difficult task, I mean they stayed right next door, or maybe across the lake.

My mother and I have our own house over the lake from the Fisher Summer house, it's something I had appreciated until we all sort of just...drifted.

When I was twelve – I had received a random notification from an unknown number just to realize it was my childhood best friend, Selena Meadows.

I was over the moon when she messaged me, I needed her more than ever, more than she knew.

I told her how I despised seeing the Conklin's and Fisher's, or at least just Jeremiah, Steven and Belly. Conrad and I had stayed in contact.

I hated how the three all just seemed to move on without Selena and me, like nothing ever happened. Like we never existed?

Conrad and I bumped into each other last summer – I couldn't help but want to catch up with him. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss speaking to them, all of them. Even Steven.

As much as I hate their guts for practically forgetting about Selena and I, I want it to be like the old days – back when we were just naive and innocent little kids, waiting all year just to see each other for those two months.

The day Selena called me and told me she was moving to Cousins I practically collapsed, I was so excited. I even stopped breathing for what felt like forever. I could finally reunite with my best friend after eight years.

I glance outside of my window – currently sitting on my window sill smoking a cigarette. Not the best idea but it just so happened to be what I am doing.

I let the nicotine enter throughout my lungs, the feeling of relief I get from the sensation is probably one of my favorite things in the world.

I don't mind that I'm alone, I am used to the feeling after all. The fact is sad but true. My mother is a workaholic at its finest, it is like she wants to be away from me.

It's a normal summer morning, 9a.m to be exact. My mother has just driven off to work and I am once again home alone.

I agree with where Selena was coming from, I'm different.

The way I talk, act and look? All different. I definitely have a different style to what I had when I was twelve years old, but then again I'm sixteen now.

I love my jewelry with all my heart, specifically the necklace I constantly wear around my neck, a matching golden chain with a ring that once fit around my father's finger.

I am currently awaiting the call that I have been anticipating for the past month. Selena is supposedly arriving today with her father.

The more I wait, the more anxious I get. What would I say to her? She would obviously look different than on facetime, I mean it is a screen.

I just continue smoking my cigarette until it comes to a stump before I flick it onto the grass.

I lean against the wall, letting the warm summer breeze flow through my dark curly hair. It isn't very often that I let my hair down as it always ends up getting tangled or losing its volume after a while – but I'm willing to look nice for my best friend.

I can't grasp onto the fact that it has been four long years. Eight years since I've seen her in person, it's crazy to me.

I am allowing myself to look at my surroundings, a few ducks swimming in the bed of water by the docks just by my home. I let my eyes drift over to the Fisher summer house.

It is always so vibrant there in the summer, Susannah always has freshly picked flowers in vases outside by the pool deck. She has always cared about how her home looks, I can't help but admire that.

Everything around me is so quiet. I love quiet, I wish it could be quiet all the time. Yet the millions of thoughts that are coursing through my head – is making my head feel heavy.

I still await the very text message that tells me where I should meet her. There is no other anxiety more pressuring than this, a fact you can't digest. I am finally seeing her.

I slide off of the window sill and my feet land on the floor of my bedroom. It is a cozy room with a single bed against the wall and a couple of band posters hung up as decoration. Some of my favorite bands, Deftones, Pierce the Veil, and Nirvana – as well as a few of my favorite artists, Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, and Rihanna.

My mirror that is hung up on my bedroom wall near my door, covered in small sticky notes that have little lists of what I have to do, the day I write them.

My bed isn't made and my bedroom floor is covered in clothes, I honestly am not bothered by it, I always say I will do it later but I know the inevitable. I wouldn't do it anyway.

However I'm waiting, so I might as well do it right?

Then it happens. The text message I have been waiting for.

Selena's name pops up across my phone screen with a text that reads: "meet me at the beach? :)" The small smiley face is Selena's signature in a text, it is just who she is and I adore her as my best friend.

My heart feels like it's stuck in my throat, pounding at the thought that I am going to see her now.

The world is carrying on around me but I'm frozen for what feels like forever before I grab my phone and text her back: "Great! I'll see you in ten."

...

Despite the warm sun, I always like wearing leather jackets. It is my thing in a sense. I wear a few different ear piercings and a small nose ring on the left side of my face. My mother liked to tease me about how I looked like a chain smoker with all of my piercings.

The 'smoker' comment was just unfortunate at the time.

I've walked for maybe ten minutes towards the beach, my hands inside of my pockets and I pace towards the beach. I'm anxious to see her again.

As I walk from the road and onto the sand, I hear the sudden yell of my name. "Gwen!" is all I hear, I glance around for the scream that sounds so familiar and I immediately know it's Selena.

The second my eyes land on her I let out a chuckle, of what I would like to think is relief. I don't hesitate to sprint forward. She looks so different from when I last saw her in person.

Her style fit her personality, the way her denim skirt and black tank top fit her body almost perfectly it made me admire how pretty my best friend is.

Her dark brunette hair flows in the wind as we both kick off the sand to get to each other. I am so incredibly happy to see her, I haven't smiled so hard in years.

Tears brim my eyes as we finally meet and throw our arms around each other in a tight, and almost suffocating hug. I grab ahold of her elbows and stare at her face in disbelief.

It feels so surreal seeing her again, face to face, after eight long years. Her face has matured, she has the same smile she always had since we were kids – straight pearly white teeth.

Both of our mouths fall open to say something yet nothing seems to come out as we just stand speechless near the bed of water.

We both decide to take a seat on the warm sand, with large grins on our faces as we take in each other's presence. I don't know what to say in this moment and the only words that come to mind are; "Girl, you're hot as fuck."

The first words I utter to my best friend after eight long years of not seeing each other. I let out a small giggle the second I see her shyly turn to me with a smile on her face.

"Same goes for you. You suit your style," She replies, nodding matter of factly as if she knows it was the right thing for me. I can't help but grin at the compliment, most people tease me for my "edgy" look but Selena – she admires it.

I see her sling her beige knitted tote bag – that looks almost the exact same as the sand – to her opposite side so we can both see inside. I furrow my brows and tilt my head in curiosity seeing what my best friend has to offer out of this tote bag.

The second I see inside my face brightens at the sight of my favorite candy.

"Oh my God, you got Trolli gummy worms?! Are you kidding?!" I am ecstatic, like a kid getting their most wanted toy for christmas. "I haven't had these in years."

Selena nudges my arm gently, eyeing me with the same unserious look we give each other whenever we were excited. "You literally didn't shut up about missing them a couple of weeks ago. So, I got them." She gives me a sheepish grin at seeing the happy expression on my face.

I don't hesitate to rip open the packet of gummy worms and immediately toss a few into my mouth with a sheepish grin. I turn to offer Selena some, to which she seemingly gratefully accepts and pops the candy into her mouth.

She always had a problem with sourness, whereas I am the opposite, I adore sour candies.

After two more gummies I suddenly gain an idea, a memory per say. So, I quickly place the packet of gummies back into the tote bag and abruptly rise to my feet.

I see her worried stare, I can't help but let a menacing grin onto my lips as I know exactly what we are going to do.

"Oh God, what are you planning, crazy lady?" She asks with a hint of actual worry in her voice, I can't help but let the smile on my face broaden as I want to tease her.

"You know what," I reply with a small lift of my eyebrows.

"Do I?" She asks, her eyebrows furrowing with genuine concern before I let a tiny giggle escape me.

"Yeah."

I watch her glance around as if something is to jump out and attack her. I loved pulling pranks on her as a kid and now I still do – it was one of my favorite activities to do.

The mischievous smile never leaves my face as my eyes dart around for a second.

"Last one standing has to buy the other chocolate!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I swiftly shrug off my leather jacket, throwing it aside and immediately darting to the water, shoes and all.

I don't need to look back to know the expression on her face, disbelief.

"Oh, you're on!" Her voice yells back at me before she follows behind me just as quickly.

We both rush into the water, the cold hitting me like a truck, but I can't care less. I spin around with my hands raised to block her from stepping near me or I would push her and she knows that.

Water has splashed onto my clothes, drenching me as Selena's hands push through the water and I let a scream erupt from my mouth.

The water soak me from head to toe and water dripped down the tip of my nose and chin. I don't hesitate to retaliate and copy her very actions, her mascara smudging in the process.

We laugh, and she seems to ignore my raised hands of surrender and charges at me. I dodge her charge at me before pushing her back from behind. She lets out a screech of surprise, and lets her body engulf itself into the water.

She sits up out of the water, her hair now soaking wet and in front of her face as she coughs – pulling a face of disgust.

I can't help letting out a loud laugh, folding myself forward and clutching onto my stomach with laughter. "I know– I know you just bought me those gummy worms, Lilo, but rules are rules." I laugh once more and shrug sheepishly at my own comment before hearing a laugh of Selena's own.

I'm finally with her again, smiling, laughing and being children all over again.

I missed this.

...

Selena and I are starting to leave the beach, strolling down the concrete with soaking wet clothes. Selena's telling me about her journey here, it was eventful to say the least. She has been telling me about how this guy was hitting on her at a gas station on the way here.

"This guy, I think his name was Jumper?" Her voice is laced with uncertainty and my eyebrows furrow at the name, making me turn my head to face her.

"Jumper? Who in the right mind names their kid, Jumper..." A judgmental look spreads across my face, blinking a few times dramatically.

Selena huffs in response, she knows how judgmental I am, I can't even deny that fact. I can't help but pull a face when I hear something strange – if there is one thing I cannot control it is my facial expressions.

The blazing hot sun bathes my tanned skin, my hair and clothes still damp from the ocean, the only item of clothing that is dry just happens to be my leather jacket.

I hold my leather jacket over my forearm, Selena has been talking for a while I have just been listening. That was our dynamic, she spoke and I listened – it made sense.

We both walk on the sidewalk of the concrete road, and not many cars pass at this time of day. Yet a specific one catches my eye as it slows to the speed limit pressed upon a sign that reads: "Cousins Beach" in bold lettering.

In the front seat of the car a girl with long brunette hair that's put up into a ponytail catches my eye. She looks awfully familiar, the thought scratches at my brain for a moment before my eyes flicker to the driver's seat which to my surprise lands on – Steven. Steven Conklin.

Fuck.

The only thought that goes through my mind when I realize today is the day that the Conklins drive down here every year. Selena hasn't paid attention to the cars that drive by so why would she pay attention now, right?

I make sure to keep my head turned to Selena so I don't accidentally get spotted. I can't stomach awkward interactions. They were the most uncomfortable situations ever and ever since I started avoiding the family friends, we all drifted and I am not ready to speak to them again, or at least one on one.

As the car drifts past us, my eyes fixate on the back of it, scanning the number plate before I reluctantly turn around when I hear an apology escape my best friend's mouth.

"I'm rambling aren't I? Shit, I'm rambling, sorry." Selena sighs in defeat before I give her an are-you-serious look.

"No, you're not rambling and stop apologizing, y'know me by now." I huff in response, she always apologized after she spoke for a long amount of time.

"Right, sorry." Selena chuckles lightly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear before I send her a tiny glare and she gives me an embarrassed look – she opens her mouth to say more but I send her a look and the words already seem to die on her tongue.

Our footsteps sync up as we get closer to my house's driveway, my front door is unlocked and I head towards the door with Selena by my side. The small beige welcome mat lay just before the door, reading: "Welcome Home."

I go to twist the doorknob so I could step inside before Selena piped up again, "I'm gonna stay outside for a bit to catch the sun and dry out." She speaks and I give her a nod, squeezing the water out of my shirt so I don't drip water all over the wooden floors.

I take a step into the house, letting the aroma of mint fill the air. Mint was the scent of the air freshener that my mom and I keep in the house. I pass by the kitchen and down the hallway towards the linen cabinet where we keep all of our blankets and towels.

I grab two towels and slip my shoes off in the process, leaving them beside the front door.

As I step outside the sight of Selena sitting in the sun with her knees to her chest catches my eye. I step closer to her and tap her shoulder – handing her the second towel in my hands.

"Wanna sit on the hill, catch the sun?" I propose, whilst grabbing onto Selena's hand in order to help her onto her feet.

"Yeah, come on." Selena sends me a small smile, our excitement has now bubbled down into a feeling of relief, like a weight finally lifting off of my shoulders. I am glad to have my best friend back, the one wish that has finally been granted to me after many years of wishing on stars just before bed.

I used to wish upon stars as a kid, I would look outside my window at night as a few stars shined brightly in the clear skies. Selena has this strange fascination with the stars, the different constellations – I never understood it but I suppose the stars are beautiful.

We walk around the side of my house, the sparkles of the sun reflecting off of the lake before we find our designated spot on the freshly cut grass – both us wrapped up in our towels in order to dry up quicker.

I sprawl my legs out in front of me while Selena presses her legs to her chest, like a ball. I lay my arms behind me in order to hold my body up as I let the sun soak up all of the remaining water.

My eyes close as I soak up the sun, the feeling of warmth on my skin and relaxation coursing through my body. There are distant sounds of laughing, which catch my attention, causing my eyes to open and drift to my surroundings before landing on the backyard of the Fisher summer house.

"They look so much older," I hear Selena comment, it seems like a soft mutter. I see the way her head tilts when she speaks, her mind seems to be spiraling.

I give her a tiny glance before looking back to the house just across the lake, seeing the four; Jeremiah, Belly, Conrad and Steven.

"Well, it has kinda been four years, Lilo," I call her by the nickname I have called her since we were younger. Lilo & Stitch is our favorite movie to watch together and for some strange reason I came up with the nickname Lilo, from Selena to Lilo, quite a contrast.

I see Selena nod in response, "I know that. Just doesn't really feel like it's been that long, y'know?" I can't bear to look at the four across the lake, I despised them for moving on so quickly. As immature as it sounds, seeing them so happy without Selena and I hurt me – as if I had just been punched in the gut.

I never really made new friends after them, I distanced myself because it never felt right without everyone together – like a piece of me was missing. However I let my eyes follow Selena's gaze and it lands on the four.

I let my thoughts betray me and I speak up, "I watch them do the Belly-Flop every year, as pathetic as it sounds." My eyes glued to them, my gaze is unwavering and seemingly blank. "The first year without you, I could tell no one was as happy. But the year after I think is when they moved on. That's when I dipped."

I took a glance at the three boys carrying Belly, they seemed so happy – like Selena and I never existed. The sudden sound of Selena's voice snaps me out of my thought filled gaze, "Do they even remember us?" Her voice is a small mutter, her eyes glued to the small quad – seemingly stuck in her own subconscious.

"Who the fuck knows," I sigh, leaning forward as Belly finally gets thrown into pool. I swore I can hear the three boys laughing after a scream erupts from the girl.

After ten minutes or so, Selena and I decide to head inside of my house. The normal homey feeling as I step foot in through the sliding door on the side of the house which leads into the living room.

The same light gray brick wall behind the fireplace, and the gray walls to match along with the bricks. Plain and simple. I don't remember the last time my house was colorful, possibly when my father was still here. I don't know.

The same brown laminate flooring with my mother's favorite white rug that is softer than a fur coat. The same shelves, books and fake plants stacked on them – some visible dust on them. Yet the second I turn around I see Selena's eyes locked onto something.

I follow her gaze and it lands on the scented candles – my eyes widening in realization before I quickly dash forward and pick them up. "Oh shit, I'll go put these away. Susannah mailed me them for my birthday," I let out a small huff before trudging over to a cabinet and placing the candles inside.

Selena has a severe allergy to scented candles, I never understood where it came from however I still took her health seriously as it was the least I could do when she does the same for me, I am allergic to shellfish and she always made sure to check if there any shellfish in any food I ordered. She seems to care about my health more than I do.

As I place the scented candles into the cabinet I hear a squeal come from the living room. I make my way back to the living room to see Selena propped up on the Lay-Z-Boy, so I plop onto the couch beside the Lay-Z-Boy and chuckle at her random outburst of excitement.

I notice how she does not waste any time to pull the lever on the side, elevating her along with the part of the couch. I lean forward, grabbing the TV remote, switching on a movie.

For the next hour, we watch Lilo and Stitch. Our favorite of all time.

I never really have people come over, as I don't really speak to anyone, meaning that the sudden knock on my front door comes as a surprise to me. I pause the movie and glance over at Selena who is already gazing at the front door.

"I'll get that. One sec." I spring up off of the couch and head towards the door. I twist the doorknob and open the door to reveal; Susannah Fisher. My eyes widen and my jaw absentmindedly drops ever so slightly.

"Susannah, Hi!" I exclaim almost awkwardly, examining the blonde woman in front of me who has been smiling the entire time.

"Hey Gwen, sweetie." Susannah goes in for a hug and I, out of instinct, reciprocate.

"How are you?" My voice is slightly high-pitched due to surprise, I definitely did not expect her to be right outside my front door.

"I'm good, how've you been? It feels like forever since I have seen your beautiful face!" She lets out a small chuckle and keeps her wide smile on her face. I can't help but smile at her compliment, I miss Susannah often, she has always been a second mother to me.

"I've been okay, I mean summer just started so I am just waiting for something exciting to happen, I guess." I muttered the last part, I did not realize how awkward I am until this very moment. God, kill me now.

"I thought I would stop by and offer if you would maybe want to come to dinner tonight? I know your mom has that date tonight," She says in a sing-song tone, she's excited for my mother, I understand that – but I don't know what to think. A part of me wants to be selfish and tell her how my mother is being inconsiderate and not thinking about how I feel, but then again I just want her to be happy.

"And I don't want you to be alone tonight." Susannah shrugs sheepishly and I let out a tiny chuckle at her wide smile, she always seems so excited when she sees me.

"Oh, I actually have a friend over tonight and I don't want to leave her alone so maybe I could just stop by and drop off a few snacks? If that's alright?" I smile awkwardly, my mind drifting to Selena. I want to keep the fact that she was back in Cousins a secret, as if the others remember her then maybe I can surprise them, y'know? That is only if they remember.

"Oh, is this friend a boy?" Susannah smirks playfully before I let a tiny pink blush flush my cheeks, and I shake my head.

"It's not a boy, but it is a surprise." I can't help but smirk back at the thought of surprising Susannah.

"Oh okay, I see you," Susannah teases and I let out a soft chuckle. I missed talking to her, she has always been such a pure soul.

"Yeah, it will just have to be a mystery for the time being." I tease and Susannah chuckles in return.

"Speaking of mysteries, did you get those scented candles I sent you? I remembered you told me your favorite scent was coconut and vanilla." Susannah smiles at me and I smile back at her.

"Yes, thank you, they smell amazing." I nod and smile softly.

"Well honey, I've gotta go. Laurel is waiting for me in the car and I need to stop by the country club so I will see you later?" She smiles widely at me before I nod in return.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." I smile and bid Susannah a goodbye as the blonde woman leans forward and plants a small kiss on my right cheek.

"Okay, gotta run, please be there, honey!" Susannah exclaims as she rushes back to Laurel's car with a wide smile and I chuckle softly before closing the front door.

"Uh, Sel?" I yell for Selena as I walk down the hallway and back into the living room.

"What's up?" She raises her voice before I come back into her view.

"So, Susannah was at the door, fun times, uhm." I sound dumbfounded by the interaction, it is the first time in a while since Susannah and I have spoken face to face.

"So I saw. What did she need? Is she okay?" Selena's brows furrow in curiosity and I huff.

"She asked me if I wanted to go to dinner but I said no and that I would take some snacks over there. Speaking of, I need to find snacks." I ramble, usually when I am taken by surprise I ramble and Selena always seems to be the one I end up rambling to.

"Did you mention anything about me?" Selena's voice is laced with worry and uncertainty – I plop back down on the couch beside the Lay-Z-Boy.

"No, I figured maybe it could be a surprise or do you not wanna go? Look I don't wanna go, it is gonna be hella awkward and I accepted and said I was gonna take snacks – I don't even have snacks and– I am rambling aren't I?" I cut myself off as I realize that I am rambling, it is only every once in a while that I speak this much.

Selena's lips form into a thin line and she nods before I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Damnit Lilo, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna have to see all of their faces, I mean Conrad would be fine to see because we talk but still." I let out a huff and pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"It won't be bad, we can stop by one of the stores and get some snacks then you can drop them off, Aha! See. Genius, I am," Selena did a stupid bow as she put on a Yoda voice. "Hallelujah, praise the Lord!"

Selena always had a funny way of saying things to make me feel better, the 'praise the lord' comment is fairly funny.

"God you're such a nerd, and I love it." I can't help but chuckle at her Yoda impression and she shrugs sheepishly at my comment.

"Right, okay it's maybe two p.m right now. What do you say we get some ice cream and drown our thoughts in it and get some snacks for later?" I suggest with a wide eyes, it is obvious my thoughts are currently spiraling.

"Is it bubblegum?" Selena raises an eyebrow in query and I tilt my head.

"Well, no shit what else would we get? Mint?" I say a matter of factly as if she is acting crazy.

She stays silent for a moment before nodding, "I'm in, let's do this." She rises from the Lay-Z-Boy and I follow suit.

𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥'𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘
𝖨 𝖣𝖨𝖤𝖣 𝖣𝖤𝖠𝖣. 𝖨 𝖺𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝖾𝗑𝖼𝗂𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗆𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 eltheria 𝖲𝗈 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗄 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖺'𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏 𝖱𝖭!!

𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗌: m1stywrites eltheria (comment if you want be added)