FOUR | so close, yet so far

WE ENDURE MUCH MORE
THAN WE THINK WE CAN.
                    — frida kahlo.

     Mercy was finally ready. She had to be, she knew. There was no room for hesitation, for anxiety or anger or anything in between. Dean was just out of reach, but he was right under her feet as well. The case had dragged on too long and hurt her too much- she wanted it to be over. The only way for it to end was for her to buckle up and finish the job.

She couldn't help but wonder what things would be like if she hadn't left all of those years ago. Would she still be with Dean, or would she be six feet underground? Or maybe, she would still be where she was at that exact moment, with Derek and working at the BAU.

Derek. She looked to her right, watching her boyfriend stare out of the window next to him. She couldn't imagine how he felt. She didn't know if she wanted to feel how he did. This wasn't fair to him, and if it was up to Mercy, he would be as far from Dean as humanly possible. She didn't want Dean to ruin anything else for her, not after he had ruined virtually everything for her for most of her young adult life. He couldn't take Derek from her- she wouldn't let him.

And to her right, Derek was thinking the same thing. This man had hurt Mercy more than he could've ever imagined, and he wouldn't get the chance to hurt her ever again, not after Derek was done with him.

     They pulled up to an abandoned farm house, the air whistling quietly all around them. There was a small barn behind the house and a leafless willow tree planted close by, the branches reaching out like bony fingers slipping through the wind. Mercy adjusted the hat on her head, brushing hair from her face. The team was quiet, unusually quiet. An unspoken feeling settled inside of each of them; the case ended here, no matter what.

     Hotch looked around, motioning for the agents to stay quiet. "The only way we'll find them is if we catch them off guard. Prentiss, Morgan, with me; we'll search the house. Reid, Rossi, Swan, check the property and the barn— they're around here somewhere, and we'll find them. If either of us clear our spots before the other, we'll come to you. Stay quiet, don't make yourself known until you have them under your thumb. They seem like the kind to slip through your fingers." He finished with a distasteful look, turning to Mercy. "Mercy knows these guys. She's gonna know how to deal with them best. Any advice?" He asked her, catching her off guard. Hotch rarely turned his authority over to the other agents.

     She cleared her throat, looking around the dark farm. The sun was setting, close to disappearing under the horizon. It gave the scene an eerie feeling, one that wasn't helping her nerves. "Be on your toes; they're smart, and they don't get caught easily. Don't listen to a word they say, cuff them as soon as you can, and don't let them out of your sight." She spoke quickly, with an air of determination she hadn't had since the case opened. Derek stared her, giving her a slight nod of reassurance. Hotch nodded in turn, motioning for Derek and Emily to follow him closely. Rossi and Spencer turned to Mercedes, the girl staring off at the barn.

     "We're with you, Mercy," Spencer spoke up, making Mercy turn to face him. "What's your plan?" His words made Mercy refocus, blinking for a moment before nodding to herself.

     "You two check the property first. Rossi, station out by the tree line, Reid, check the barn for any more possible exits. I'll go straight into the barn. If I need you, I'll yell." And without another word, she started off toward the barn.

     Spencer and Rossi shared a look. Splitting up always made them uneasy, but they shared a mutual understanding. This was something Mercy needed to do alone. She was smart enough to take care of herself, even if the case had caused her to falter slightly. Rossi huffed, holding his gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other as they started toward the property line.

     A few paces away, the gravity of the situation had caught up with Mercy. Each step felt harder to take, like concrete boots covered her feet and ankles, getting heavier the closer she got. With sadness in her heart, she raised her gun in her hands, stopping just outside the barn doors.

    There were lights on inside of the dilapidated building, flickering slightly. She listened intently, the unmistakable muffled voices of Sam and Dean Winchester carrying through the thick wooden planks of the barn. Mercy clenched her teeth, and with more strength than she'd had in a long time, she pulled the door open.

     Sam remembered a time long ago where he and Mercy were best friends. Sitting in Bobby's living room, a 2000's classic chick flick playing in the background as they looked over textbooks filled with lore, sharing a bowl of popcorn and peanut M&M's. He hadn't known her when she was young, not like Dean did. They'd met when each of them were still impressionable and barely conscious of the world around them. He'd always see her as the little girl with a low pony tail, dirt on her face and jeans, long sleeve bunched up at her elbows. It was nice to know that at some point, Dean had a normal childhood.

     The Winchester's had moved after the death of Mary, when Sam was just a baby and Dean was just starting to find happiness in the world around him. But when Mercedes had come back, they'd been thick as thieves. The years of his late teens had been some of the best, if not the very best, years of his life. Mercy was his first friend, other than Dean, of course. She saw him as more than John's son, or Dean's brother, or just another hunter. She'd loved and respected him; she treated him like an adult, but she'd also encouraged him to be a kid, like he was.

     She was the one who convinced him to leave and go to college. She'd already finished and gotten her degree, having fast tracked her way through university before returning to help her father research the oddities of the world that others didn't know of. Sam knew she'd scored higher in all of her tests than he even did. She was much smarter than him, which was saying something, as Sam thought he was very smart. She was also the only person in his life to stay in contact with him after he left. Needless to say, Sam loved Mercedes, and he respected her. She was different than most hunters, like he was, uninterested in excessive violence and empathetic to the monsters they sought out.

     Which was why he felt it was so unfortunate that she walked into the barn to see him holding the head of a dead vampire, blood dripping from the still fresh body.

     She'd gotten much better with her poker face in the years after her separation from him and Dean, he noticed. She barely blinked at the sight of him, covered in hot blood like a deer in headlights. He did notice that she hadn't so much as glanced at Dean, though, who was standing right behind him, holding the rest of the mutilated body. They stood still for a moment, taking the time to look at each other, a melancholy feeling seeping into the walls of the building. Dean dropped the body at the sight of his old lover, shocked to see her so close after so much time staring from afar.

    The last time Dean (and Sam) had seen Sadie, she had shorter hair and more dirt on her face and clothes. She was sweet and funny, a large contrast from the woman that stood in front of him now. Her hair was long, under a hat embroidered with the letters FBI; there was no dirt on her face, or her pristine uniform, and she wore a serious look in her dark eyes, not an ounce of humor etched on her face.

     The brothers had changed quite a bit since Mercy had last seen them, too. Dean looked older now, the sly grin of his youth wiped from his face, frown lines around his mouth telling Mercy he'd retired that pretty smile a long time ago. Sam's hair had gotten impossibly longer, and the gangly beanpole of a boy she'd loved had turned into a man right in front of her.

     None of them were the same as they were eight years ago; they hadn't been so close, yet so far from each other in possibly forever. Sam was speechless, and a little off balance. In the watershed moment, all he could think about was how sad he was that it ended like this, as well as whether he should drop the head of the victim or not.

    Mercedes raised her gun slightly higher, gritting her teeth like she was nursing a painful wound. That was entirely possible, though, looking at the duo that had made and simultaneously crushed the years of her youth and pure heart. "Hello, Sam." She said quietly, not dropping the stony look on her face. Her eyes shifted slightly before turning back to Sam's face. "Dean."

     Sam couldn't see his brother, but Dean was practically crumbling in the presence of Sadie. She was the physical embodiment of what he could've been, what Sam could've been, if they'd only left the world of monsters and demons years ago. The blatant change in the girl he loved hurt him deeply, as he knew she wasn't the same girl he loved eight years ago, and she wasn't the same girl who'd loved him with her entire heart and soul.

     "Sadie..." Dean breathed out, stuck to the concrete underneath him. His voice was failing him, as was his brain. All he could listen to was his heart, thumping in his chest to a familiar beat. Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.

     "Sadie, listen, it's not what you—" Sam was cut off by the slight raise of a hand from Mercedes.

     "It's been a long time, Sammy. And I really am sorry." Her voice was barely loud enough for Sam and Dean to hear, leaving them unprepared for what was to come.

     Mercedes yelled loudly, calling out names unfamiliar to Sam and Dean. Sam dropped the head as Dean pushed his brother behind him, toward the broken back door of the barn. Before Sam could try anything, though, he was met with the barrel of a gun, the unsteady door slamming against the wall from the force it was opened with. He turned to look at Dean, and in turn Sadie, who hadn't lowered her gun, and had been joined by the same man he and Dean had seen her speaking to outside of the police station a few days prior.

     She met his gaze with a sad look of her own, more agents entering the barn from behind her. "FBI, put your hands up." She finally spoke, Sam slowly putting his hands up eyes never leaving her. The man who'd met him at the door pulled his arms behind his back. Sam cringed at the sound handcuffs clicking, the cold metal uncomfortable against the bones of his wrists. They were screwed, and the person screwing them having once been the person to save them from their screw ups made it impossibly worse.

     Dean huffed out a sharp laugh, throwing his hands in the air. "What a reunion, huh Sadie?" He bit at her, unable to keep the venom and hurt out of his words. Mercedes' gaze dropped to the ground for half a second, before turning to meet his. The cocky smile she'd loved so much, the one she worried was gone forever, had come back to Dean, if only to mock her. "Bet you've been waiting for this. You finally get the chance to show off, right? Come back after all these years, just like you swore you wouldn't, right baby?" He continued, the last word striking a cord deep inside of her. From beside Mercy, Derek was practically shaking with anger. He holstered his gun, stepping forward without a single look at his girlfriend. Dean's gaze turned to Derek, raising his eyebrows slightly as to invite a challenge. Derek's expression didn't change, and Dean, being so caught up in staring the man down, didn't see the punch coming until it was too late.

     It almost knocked Dean right off his feet. He stumbled back a step, blinking hard, already starting to curl his own hands into fists. Before he could lunge at the man in front of him, though, another man grabbed both of his wrists and pulled them behind his back, kicking the back of his knee with enough force to take him to the ground. Handcuffs clicked loudly, and Dean glared up at the man who punched him, Derek having taken a step towards Dean after he'd been apprehended. "You have the right to remain silent, you sick son of a bitch."

authors note <3

this is so bad and so short sorry but also welcome back lol. i don't remember how i formatted authors notes in prior chapters so sorry if it's different. don't mind the excess of run on sentences in this chapter, it adds to the aesthetic lmfao. also not edited