chapter thirty-one / samship-il
Singularity
(31)

"Just say the word, and I'll stop," the boss husked in my ear. "There's seven other boys out there that could be here instead of you right now. Aren't you tired of playing the hero?"

I gather up all the strength I have in my body, just to be as spiteful as possible. "Are you kidding? I could do this all day." I laugh and it only seems to anger him as he laughs along humorlessly, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek.

He grabs a bloodied knife from off of his table and runs his finger across the blade. "I've broken your body in so many ways, but it's no fun if I can't break your mind. We'll just have to keep going until I figure out how." Despite my best attempts at staying strong, when I look into his eyes, all I feel is fear. It feels like my skin is crawling and I wish so badly that I could see the light of day again instead of this dark and haunted building.

"What number were we at?" He asks me as he grabs my hand out of the restraint and places it on the table beside me. I whimper as I try to free my hand from his grasp, but he only strengthens his hold, crushing my bones in the process. "What number?" He growls.

"Seven hundred and thirty four," I cry out in pain. He gives me a pleased smile before praising me and I feel bile burning the back of my throat.

Without any warning, he lowers the blade down over my fingers. All that can be heard in the room is my screams echoing off of the walls and I find myself praying that the pain makes me black out.

"Count," he demands.

"S-seven hundred and t-twenty seven." I bite down on my lip until I feel the skin break. The metallic taste of blood pours over my tongue, but it's nothing compared to the pain in my hand. I don't dare look down at it, I already know my fingers are missing and blood is oozing out where my limbs used to be. One thing I've learned in my time spent with the boss, is that he can heal us. How he has that power, I don't know, but I do know that he doesn't use it for anything good. My limbs have grown back so many times that I no longer feel human, more like a doll that keeps getting stuffed and stitched back up. I feel disgusting.

Hours and hours drag on just like this, time bleeding out through a glass, just like my blood pours down to the floor. All I feel is pain, and my only coherent words is the stupid numbers he has me counting and desperate pleas to just be killed, but I know he's not finished with me, not until I give up and ask him to have one of my friends replace me. That's not going to happen either. So what? Will he just keep torturing me until I'm on my last breath, just to heal me and have me go through it all over again? I can't imagine being able to survive this kind of pain much longer. Is it effecting my health in the real world. I feel as if it's enough to kill my real body, even if it's all just in my head.

I keep counting down the numbers as he finds new and creative ways to cause me agonizing pain. The longer this goes on, the cloudier my mind feels, and I'm starting to lose my grip on reality. The only thing that keeps me grounded, keeps me sane, is those numbers. He told me to count down from one thousand, subtracting the number seven each time. It's my only comfort, the only thing I have to help me right now. Oh, how I wish I could replace those numbers with the comfort of having my friends by my side, but I'm alone by my own choosing. I'd rather suffer alone knowing that they're safe.

By the time I reach number five hundred seventy three, I think he starts to grow bored of playing this game since I refuse to play by his rules. I know it's only a matter of time before he starts to play something else.

"This could all stop. Why won't you just give up? Do you not care about yourself?" He laughs bitterly.

"Not as much as I care about them." My head hangs low as sweat drips from my hair, my ragged breathing shaking my body. "I could never forgive myself if I handed them over to you."

His lips purse together and he drops the shears covered in my blood to the ground, the clang of metal ringing in response. I don't bother lifting my head to see what he's doing now, too weak to even move. I'm surprised by the sound of the door opening and quickly slamming closed. He finally left again, and for just a moment I feel like I can breathe, but my lungs feel like they're caving in, and such a heavy weight feels like it's crushing my chest. It hurts so bad and I almost laugh at the thought of how the boss is able to torture me even when he's not here. My laugh turns bitter and before I know it, choked sobs leave my throat. I scream. I scream until my throat becomes raw and I scream until I can't hear anything leave my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut, doing my best to ignore the pain I feel in my body and in my mind.

I keep seeing the boys in my mind, laughing and smiling like we used to, but that seems so far away. I reach out to them, to be with them, to embrace them, but they always fade away like mist as soon as my fingers graze their clothing. I've never felt so alone. It's better me than them; that's what I keep telling myself.

I hate myself for how many times my mind thought about picking one of them. 'How bad would it be?' The pained part of my brain asks. Just to humor myself, I think of who I would pick, but as soon as a name enters my mind, I see them screaming in pain, crying and cursing my name, and I flinch as if it's happening right in front of me. I shake my head. I can't do it. Does that make me weak or strong? For them I'm strong, but I suppose for myself I'm weak. The more pain I feel, the more I wish that I could be my own hero instead of someone else's.

Did I fall asleep? I can't be sure. It felt like my brain shut off for a while, but I feel like I haven't slept at all in days. I'm so tired.

My body jolts when I hear the door open. A weird feeling goes through my chest, like it's twisting in pain, when I hear a new noise. The sound of muffled screams and whimpers are heard from behind me. I feel panic flooding through my veins, and it's almost as if my body is brought back to life, ready to fight again. The boss tosses the body's he had been dragging into the room and they fall with a thud. My eyes widen and I struggle against my restraints when I see them before me; Jungkook and Taehyung. My heart aches so badly that I can't seem to find my breath when I see the fear in their eyes.

They lay on the floor, their hands tied behind their backs, and gags in their mouth. For the most part, they look unharmed, but there's no telling what the monster before us has planned.

The hair on my arms stands on end when I see him walking towards them. As if I'm the one taking the blow, I flinch and groan when the boss kicks Jungkook in the abdomen.

"You should've picked someone when you had the chance, but because of your arrogance, someone has to pay. You're going to pick which one of these two I'm going to kill." It feels like my world has stopped spinning and the hand of every clock stops ticking at this very moment, and only the four of us in this room continue to move. "If you don't choose, I'll kill both of them." Immediately after the words come out of his mouth, the two boys began to struggle, yelling incoherent words behind their gags.

"Who will you save?" He questions, and the words seem to float in front of me before squeezing my lungs, making it impossible to breathe. What do I do? I can't let either of them die, but how do I save them both? Frustration and desperation builds up so deeply within me. I struggle against my restraints, but I only end up weakening my body. I look to Taehyung and Jungkook, hoping I can find the answer in their eyes, but all I see is the same question staring back at me, 'who will you save?'

"Hurry up, Wren," the boss grits out. I grimace. What do I do? What should I do? The boss grows increasingly impatient and picks Taehyung up by his neck. The man easily lifts him into the air, his feet kicking as he struggles in his grasp.

"Stop," I scream, "let him go!"

"Oh, so you want to save this one?" The boss asks. Taehyung looks at me, his eyes pleading with me, not for me to choose him, though. I can tell he wants me to choose Jungkook. He shakes his head desperately at the boss's question, trying to urge me to make my decision, but the words seem to be stuck in my throat.

"You have to pick one! Are you going to save him?" He yells, spit flying from his mouth and the veins in his neck popping out. Jungkook's muffled cries, Taehyung's choked gasps for air, and the boss yelling psychotically is all I can hear. I feel blood trickling down my wrists as I continue to try and wriggle my hands free from the binds.

"I'm going to kill both of them if you don't choose!" He screams, his voice growing louder at every second. His grip on Taehyung's neck grows tighter and as he seems to grow more excited by the intensity of the situation, my fear grows.

I know if he doesn't let go of Taehyung soon, he won't make it. I have to do something, and do something quick. The only way I can help them is if I get my hands out of these restraints, and the only way that'll happen is if I break my hand.

As I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the pain I'm about to feel, I hear a shattering noise and I feel something warm and wet on my skin; I look to see what it is, only to find blood. I hear a pained scream from Jungkook and it makes me feel sick because I didn't hear anything from Taehyung. I can't breathe when I see Taehyung's limp body on the floor, covered in a pool of blood.

I hunch over, trying to breathe, but it hurts. I scream his name, but I know he's not going to answer. I scream and scream until I can't hear my own voice anymore and I'm not sure if my voice is gone or if my hearing is. I was too late. I wasn't quick enough and now he's dead. Taehyung is dead.

"Look at what you made me do," the boss spit out with disgust. He walks over to me and grabs my chin, forcing me to look up at him. The anger I feel is so overwhelmingly strong that I can feel my body trembling as I glare at him. "If you were going to let him die, you should've just chosen him, but now both of them have to die because of you."

Something snaps inside of me, and I feel blinded by the rage and pain I feel in this moment. My innocence before today was like a field of white flowers, but now they're all soaked with Taehyung's blood. A snap sounds as I break my hand and pull it out of the restraints.

In one quick motion, I grab the sharpest thing at my disposal and strike it with as much force as possible over the boss's head. I can't think, I can only feel, and the more I feel, the harder I bash the weapon over his head. Harder and harder, I keep going until all I see is red, but the anger doesn't go away, and neither does the pain. It hurts so bad. No matter how many times I hit him, I can never make him feel the pain I feel right now.

"Wren, stop!" I freeze, the weapon hanging over my head as I was about to bring it down on the man in front of me once again. It seems Jungkook had finally managed to struggle free of the cloth tied around his mouth. I drop the piece of metal and it clangs against the floor as a result. I run to Jungkook and untie his hands. As soon as his limbs are freed, he grabs my malformed hand and pops whatever bone that had been broken back into place. A scream leaves my lips, but not so much from the pain, more so from being startled by the suddenness of his actions. Compared to all of the things that have been done to me the past few days, this was nothing.

Jungkook wastes no further time on me, and instead, quickly makes his way to Taehyung. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest when my eyes land on him. It's almost as if the breath had been knocked out of my lungs, and I'm quick to place a hand over my mouth to keep from retching out my internal organs. The severity of the situation hits at full force and I find myself hyperventilating. What have I done?

Jungkook is frantic, typing away at something on his holopad. He keeps choking on his own gasps for air as he yells and sobs for Taehyung to come back. No matter how much he pleads, no matter how much he begs, Taehyung just lays there. He's not coming back.

I reach out to him. "Jungkook," I whisper as I place my hand on his shoulder. I flinch when the younger boy retracts his shoulder sharply from my touch. "Jungkook, h-he's gone." My voice breaks, because even though I'm trying to convince him of the fact of the matter, it's hard to convince myself.

"N-no!" He cries, "I can still save him."

"You can't, it's too la-"

"Shut up, I have too!" He interrupts with a scream. The words echo in my head, and his pained voice is too much for me to keep trying to stop him, so instead, I kneel down beside him, and hold Taehyung's hand in my own, knowing that this will be my last chance.

I imagine my dear friend laying in a hospital bed, his vital signs flat lining, and his family surrounding him, begging for their little boy to come back to them. I was supposed to bring him back to them, I was supposed to save him, and all this time I've been trying to convince myself that I wasn't responsible for that, but now that I've failed, I can't stop the bitterness from overcoming me. It's all my fault. He's dead, and it's all my fault. He never got to see his family again, and it's all my fault.

"Taehyungie, together or not at all, remember? What're we supposed to do now?" No matter how much I wish the importance of my words would cause him to fight, to somehow come back, it doesn't. I'm left to answer the question without him.

A strange noise starts to fill the room, and I wipe the tears from my eyes to try and see what it is. Panic immediately sets in when I see his body start to fade away into a pixelated, golden dust. He's disappearing from our world.

I hold onto his hand tighter, clutching onto him for dear life. "No, no, no!" I scream, "please don't take him! Please!" I wail with such ferocity that my whole body seizes. No matter how much I bellow, no matter how much I sob, he keeps slipping away. My worst nightmare is happening right in front of me.

His hand fades away within my grasp, and it feels as if my heart is fading along with it, and he's taking it along with him. I hug my knees and let the pain overtake me. It isn't long after that Jungkook begins to shake me and call out my name.

"W-wren, what is that?"

It takes all of the strength I have within me to lift myself from the ground and look. As soon as I do, though, a strong peace washes over me. Above me, it looks as if there are tiny stars hovering in the air where Taehyung once was. They fly around, as if they have a mind of their own. Finally, they stop, only to be formed into a shape, one that is so familiar to me, that I know with every bone in my body that this is a message from Taehyung to me; his last one.

The dust that he faded away into now formed an image of the smeraldo flower, the flower of dreams that I had told only him about. It held a special meaning, one that could speak a million words to me, just by laying my eyes on the image of it. Tears well up in my eyes as I can hear his voice telling me not to blame myself, and to keep fighting. I reach out to touch it, and as soon as my fingertips grazes the sparkling flower, it glows even brighter. Despite the pain I feel, Taehyung still manages to bring a smile on my face. "Thank you," I whisper.

Jungkook starts to do something on his holopad, and suddenly, the flower shrinks its size, small enough to fit into the palm of my hand. I gasp and quickly turn to Jungkook. "What happened?"

He looks like he's worlds away. "That's him, that's Taehyung. I found a way to stop it from disappearing, and I think it has the last of Hyung's consciousness inside of it."

I look down at the flower that has now fallen into the palm of my hand. It isn't glowing like it was before, it's simply turned into solid gold, as if it was frozen away. I hold the flower to my chest, and immediately, a chain forms around my neck, holding the flower securely at my heart. It feels warm, and strangely enough, I can feel Taehyung again, almost as if he were right here with me. This is the last echo of his thoughts and feelings, and he trusted them to me.

Then I realize, he did use the last of his strength to answer me. Together or not at all. He made sure that we'd all be together for the last fight.

__________

A/N -

I've been planning this for a long time. It was originally going to happen during a fight with the next boss, but one thing led to another, and now Tae is dead. Please forgive me I just wanted to make all my readers cry.

Banner creds go to the amazing SEASONIES