chapter five / o
You Never Walk Alone
(005)

I haven't been able to eat anything since yesterday. Mama offered to get me something from my favorite place to eat, but I politely refused. I don't think my anxious stomach could handle anything going inside of it. I could tell Mama was worried about me, the lines on her forehead being even more prevalent with her eyebrows scrunched together. I didn't want to worry her, but like Jungkook, it was impossible for me to hide away the stress I was feeling

"You wanna talk about it?" My mother gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smile at her. "Thank you, but it's not my problem, it's someone else's."

"I understand," she nods her head, her short bob swaying slightly from the movement, "but if there's someone else you can talk about it with, I think you should confide in them, it would help you."

I take in a deep breath, knowing she's right. Being the only one out of my new group of friends that knows about Jungkook's situation is like a big weight being carried on my shoulders. I wonder if telling someone else would do any good. Would that make things worse for Jungkook? Would he be mad that I told his secret? I'm pretty sure that Jungkook wouldn't tell anyone else, so that leaves it up to me. If I don't do anything about it, something bad could happen to him. At least if I tell someone who knows him personally, they could do a lot more for him than I could.

After my mom leaves my room, I tap my arm band, activating the holopad. I take in a large breath, and force myself to send a message to Namjoon.

"Hey, can we meet?" I'm surprised by how quickly my message is opened and how quickly Namjoon responds.

"I'm with Jin and Jimin right now, but we'd love for you to join us!"

"Sounds good to me."

"Alright, I'll send you an invite. Make sure you buy some beach clothes."

Not long after, an invitation to join Namjoon lights up on my screen. Before accepting it, I do as he says and use my Eleuro to purchase something suitable to wear at the beach. I put on my headset and accept his invitation.

The sounds of waves crashing on the shoreline immediately sings out to me. The blueness of the sea repeatedly reaches out to touch the sand, but it is sent back each time. I curl my toes and let out a hum, the pleasant warmth of the sand beneath me shifting around as I move. The sun kisses my skin and the smell of salt fills the air.

I look around, searching for a familiar face. People litter the beach, laying on beach towels, throwing around a frisbee, swimming in the water, and walking near the shore.

Something hard collides into me and pushes me to the ground. When I fall, I feel the breath being knocked out of my lungs.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" I stand up to brush the sand off of my black bikini. I lift my eyes and my frown quickly turns into a smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't see- Noona!" Jimin perks, his silver hair being blown into his eyes as a breeze comes through. Any annoyance from being knocked down has dissipated, completely replaced by glee. The boy grabs my hand, forcing me to follow him. I stumble a bit as I try to keep up with him, the softness of the sand below me causing my feet to sink each time I take a step. My see through, white and blue floral kimono flies behind me, the breeze along with my fast pace causing it to dance in the air.

Jimin finally stops, heaving air through his lungs. He stands right above two boys who are sitting on towels. The boy with pink hair turns his head to look at us, the corners of his lips tugging up in a smile that makes my heart warm up far quicker than the beaming sun could warm up the sand.

"Wren, I'm so glad you're here!" Jin beams. At the mention of my name, the other boy turns around. He looks me up and down, looking stunned even though he's the one who invited me here. His mouth hangs open as he continues to look me over. I start to grow uncomfortable under his intense gaze. I hope that everyone will assume that the blush forming on my cheeks is coming from the sun's intense rays.

"Take a picture, Joon, it'll last longer," Jin scoffs, breaking up the awkward silence. Namjoon seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in, and abruptly stands up, lifting his hand to rest on the back of his neck.

"Sorry," he clears his throat, "I'm glad you could make it." He doesn't make eye contact with me as he speaks. I laugh nervously and thank him for inviting me.

Jimin tugs at the sleeve of my kimono. "We're wasting time here, let's go swimming!" Everyone stands, agreeing with his suggestion. I just stand there, folding my arms over my chest and hugging myself. They all start to walk to the water, but Namjoon notices I'm not following and turns back towards me.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I-I'd rather not," I stutter. Namjoon smirks and starts to walk back to me, making my heart jump around nervously.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. Nothing in the water will hurt you here," he reassures me.

"I know. I'm not afraid of that."

"Then what's wrong?" He tilts his head to the side. I try to look for an excuse to give him. I can't say that I'm afraid of being attacked by a shark or something because he just debunked that. I can't say I'm on my period because that doesn't happen inside the game. I look to the side, avoiding eye contact with him.

"I don't know how to swim," I mumble, barely loud enough for him to hear. I'm afraid he'll make fun of me and laugh, but neither of those things happen. Instead, he grabs my hand and starts to lead me to the ocean.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you."

I leave my kimono by our stuff and trail behind him as he walks to the water, feeling quite embarrassed and nervous. I have a feeling that I'm going to fail miserably and make a fool of myself.

I dip a toe into the water to check the temperature. It feels perfect. Not too hot and not too cold, just a nice in between that makes it feel refreshing to be in. I only follow Namjoon until the water reaches up to my waist. Namjoon chuckles and grabs my arm, leading me a bit further. The water only meets my chest, but once the first wave comes in, I know that it will reach above my head. Namjoon notices the panic in my eyes and quickly pull me into his embrace. Namjoon uses his hand to plug my nose up, and tells me to close my eyes. I nod my head and anxiously wait for the water to pass over me. When the wave reaches us, Namjoon's feet lift off of the earth below us, floating up closer to the surface. He pulls me with him, and I feel the water push my hair around. He leads me back to the surface and let's go of my nose. I take a deep breath and open my eyes.

"It wasn't too bad was it?" Namjoon smiles down at me, his eyes sparkling more beautifully than the sun on the surface of the water. The white t-shirt he has on is now completely soaked, clinging to his skin. I avert my eyes from his chest before my heart stops and look back at his eyes. Either place I look, I still feel flustered.

"It wasn't bad," I reply, painfully aware of the arm he has snaked around my waist, and how close together our bodies are, "I trusted that you would help me."

"Good, because another wave is coming. Plug your nose," he instructs me. I listen to him, not wanting to get water in my nose. I don't swim, but I know it doesn't feel pleasant. The water crashes over us. Namjoon keeps a tight grip on me, and I wrap my free hand around his neck, and my legs around his waist, trying my best to hold on.

When we come back to the surface, Namjoon leads me back to a shallower part of the sea so we can start my swimming lessons. The water only reaches my waist. Jin and Jimin swim back from the deeper water to meet us.

Namjoon tells me to lean forward. I'm hesitant, but he places his hands under my stomach to make sure I stay above water. My stomach floats on top of the water as he holds me up. He then tells me how you're supposed to swim.

"Kick your legs and use your hands to push yourself up in the water." He says it as if what he's saying is as easy as walking. I scrunch my nose up and try to do as he says. Jin covers his face as I kick with my feet, splashing water all over him. I'm not really sure what to do with my hands, so I just awkwardly slap the water.

"Not like that," Jimin laughs, "like this." He shows me how he cups his hand together so that water can't push through his fingers. He uses his hands, one at a time to paddle, which keeps him above water. He keeps his legs and feet under the water when he kicks them, propelling him forward. I nod my head, ready to try again.

Jin cautiously covers his face up again and I glare at him. I then start to imitate the movements Jimin showed me. It feels strange, but I start to understand how doing this helps you stay above the water and how it helps you move forward. As I start to get the hang of it, Namjoon walks along with me while I swim forward, still helping me to stay up.

I start to get more comfortable with myself, and I guess Namjoon could sense that, because he removes his hands, leaving it up to me to keep myself up.

"Don't let go!" I scream, paddling faster and faster, my heart beating hard against my chest.

"But look! You're doing it all by yourself," Namjoon smiles at me proudly.

I'm barely able to keep my head from going under, but he's right. I am above the water, and I might be going slowly, but I'm am moving through the water. I gasp at my accomplishment, but water quickly goes straight through my mouth and to the back of my throat. I panic and stop paddling, so I quickly put my feet back to the ground. I cough and choke, and Jin laughs as he hits my back.

"You did so well," He praises me, "but you're not supposed to inhale the water."

"Yeah, I think I've figured that out quite well."

After that, Jin teaches me how to go underwater without plugging my nose up. I'll need both of my hands to swim well, so I need to free up one hand by learning this. He teaches me two different ways to do this. One way is to push your upper lip to your nostrils. Doing that blocks off water and keeps it from going through your airway. The other way is to blow out through your nose as soon as you start to go under the water. I'm not sure why, but apparently that also stops water from going into your nose.

Since all of the other boys say they use the first technique, that's the one I decide to start with. I push my lip up. I feel like it's covering my nose, so I confidently go under. Water immediately starts to travel into my nose, and a terrible burning feeling follows. I stand back up and scrunch up my face in pain.

"It didn't work, did it?" Jin chuckles. I don't even answer him because the way I'm covering my nose and hissing in pain should be enough of an answer.

It takes a little convincing and pleading from Jimin for me to try the second technique. I feel weary from the previous experience, but I eventually get myself to try again. I take in a deep breath and go under the water again. As soon as I feel the water reaching my nose, I start to blow air out, bubbles forming in front of me when I do. I wait for the familiar burning in my nose to return, but nothing happens. I use my feet to push off of the ground so that I can quickly resurface. I grin as I look at all of the boys.

"I did it!" The boys all clap and cheer for my success. I never thought I'd be able to learn to swim. I would always see people on my t.v. move beautifully and gracefully through the water. The blueness of the water made it seem like they were flying through the sky. I wanted to be like them, I wanted to feel my body propelling through the water. I wanted to look graceful. Though my mom says there's nothing wrong with my wheelchair, it's definitely not graceful, and that always made me feel jealous of other for being able to move so beautifully and delicately. Dancers, swimmers, gymnasts, they all made art with the way they moved their bodies.

I beg to learn the next step, eager to learn how to make art with my body, too. Namjoon tells me to use what I've learned and put it together. All I need to do is make sure water doesn't get in my nose as I go under, and then use my arms and legs to move through the water. Apparently, I don't need to paddle since there's no need to stay above the water. Instead, I'll be using my arms to push myself quicker and further. I practice for hours, not feeling satisfied with how slowly I move compared to the others. The boys continue to give me tips and critique what I'm doing to help me improve. It takes a while until the movements feel natural to me, but with the help of Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin, I can feel myself progressing.

I want to keep swimming all day, but my energy levels are starting to run low, so we all decide to go eat some lunch.

"I brought kimchi friend rice," Jin announces as we all dry off. Namjoon and Jimin's eyes light up, but since I have no idea what that tastes like, I only raise my eyebrow.

"You'll love it," Jin promises, handing me a container of food and some chopsticks. I feel relieved that I know how to use chopsticks. I don't know if they brought any other utensils, and it would be embarrassing to ask them how to use these.

I lift the lid off of the clear container, and a strong smell of garlic and ginger hits my nose. I can smell something fishy and the tingling of my nose warns me that it'll be spicy. I thank Jin for the meal, and dig in.

My eyes light up when the flavors dance around on my tastebuds. It tastes like some pickled vegetable that I can't identify. The spice burns my mouth, but in a way that is enjoyable. The rice has a wonderful flavor, thanks to the kimchi, and a fried egg sits atop the food.

"Where's everyone else today?" I ask while downing my meal.

"Yoongi and Hobi had work, Taehyung is visiting his grandparents in Daegu, and we invited Jungkook, but he never responded," Jimin explains. I can tell from the worry in his voice that he's still concerned about the youngest.

"He sent me a message last night saying not to worry because he's fine," I try reassuring Jimin. He nods his head, but still looks doleful.

"He was acting strange yesterday," Namjoon frowns. I bite my lip, wanting to say something about the matter, but feeling apprehensive to do so.

When we finish lunch, I almost make a run for the ocean, but Jin opens his holopad and brings a guitar out of his inventory. I feel like it'd be rude to leave, so I stay planted in my spot.

"Let's play butterfly, the song Yoongi Hyung wrote," Jimin insists, bouncing up and down.

Jin nods his head, beginning to pluck the strings of the guitar, a sweet melody sings out in response. His fingers dance over the fretboard, and my mouth drops in amazement. The sound is so magnificent that I can feel goosebumps start to form on my skin, and my heart burns with passion for the wonderful sound.

I thought it couldn't get any better than this, but then Jimin opens his mouth to sing, and it feels like there's no longer any air to breathe. I watch the two fondly as they perform for me. I could listen to them play this song for the rest of my life and I don't think I'd ever tire of hearing it.

"Will you stop time
If this moment passes
As though it hadn't happened
I'm scared scared scared I'll lose you."

Listening to Jimin beautifully sing the lyrics, along with the strange nostalgic feeling that the melody brings to me, causes tears to form in my eyes.

When the both of them finish and the song comes to an end, a crowd that seemed to have gathered to listen to them starts to clap, but the boys both look at me, waiting for me to react. I just sit there, motionless.

"That- that was so beautiful." I wipe away a tear that started to slide down my cheek. They both beam at my comment, seeming very pleased with it.

"Thank you, Noona," Jimin thanks me sweetly.

Jimin offers to go back and swim. I'm about to gratefully accept, but Namjoon interrupts.

"I actually wanted to talk to Wren," Namjoon states firmly. Jimin frowns, obviously feeling disappointed.

"Come on, they can join us later," Jin tells him. Jimin reluctantly goes without us, but as soon as he makes it to the water, his joyous attitude seems to return when Jin starts a splash war with him.

"Let's walk," Namjoon insists. I stand to follow him, running to catch up with the boy who had somehow already gotten pretty far. When I walk beside him, he doesn't look at me, he just continues to look ahead. I look down at my feet, acting like the footprints my feet make in the wet sand is the most interesting thing that has happened in this game.

"So," I drawl out, "what did you wanna talk about?"

Namjoon sighs, and I feel my muscles tensing. "Did Jungkook really tell you he was fine?" He finally inquires.

For some reason, my heart sinks. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"Because I think we both know that he's not."

"That's what he says, but his actions prove otherwise," I agree.

"What happened with you two before he left the game? Yoongi told me he seemed fine before you guys went off by yourselves, but when he came back he was angry."

I hesitate in answering the question. Now is my chance. I didn't even have to bring the topic up, Namjoon is asking me directly. I still can't help feeling afraid. I know Jungkook wouldn't want him to know what's going on. If he did, Namjoon wouldn't have to ask me about it.

"He's being hurt," I wince.

"Who? Who's hurting him?"

Tears start to blur my vision, and I bite down on my lip. Namjoon grabs grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

"Please," he begs, "I need to know who's hurting my friend."

A lump forms in my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force that pain away, but only end up crying more. "His dad," I finally spit out through the sobs racking my entire body. Even though the words leaving my mouth feels like I spit out a boulder, releasing the burden of being the only one who knew, a new kind of pain replaces it. Guilt. I feel like I betrayed Jungkook's trust, and I worry if he would be able to forgive me. Namjoon stares at me, his mouth parted slightly, and a fire builds behind his eyes. His grip on my shoulders tighten as he shakes in anger.

"I'm gonna kill him," he swears.

"No," I plead, "things are bad enough for Jungkook. We have to control ourselves and do what's best for him."

"And what's that?"

I stop, not knowing how to answer. "I don't know," I whisper, feeling helpless and defeated. Namjoon clenches his jaw, but let's go of his harsh grip on me. He pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around me. He holds me so close, but gently, like he's afraid I might shatter. He strokes the back of my head as I lay it on his chest. I seem to fit perfectly under his tall form, and I find myself hoping he never pulls away because I feel so warm and safe in his arms.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asks in a soft voice, one that could lull me to sleep.

"I wanted to," I respond, "I was just scared. I still am. I'm afraid that Jungkook will never forgive me for this." Namjoon pushes me away from him, just enough for him to look down at me. His eyes hold such a determination in them that I believe he could do anything he set his mind to.

"You're trying to help him. If he can't realize that then I'll have to beat the crap out of him."

"Don't hurt him, Oppa," I laugh. Namjoon's eyes widen and he lets go of me as he starts to choke on air.

"Don't say that so suddenly!"

I tilt my head. "But I thought that's what you told me to call you?" My eyebrows furrow. I must not be getting something about honorifics, because everytime I use it someone gets flustered.

"Well, I did- I didn't mean for you to- it's just that-" Namjoon continues to ramble, not making any sense at all. I only laugh at him.

"Should I call you Oppa or not?"

"Only if you want to," he mumbles awkwardly.

"No," I say stepping closer to him. He grows more and more tense the closer I get. "What I meant is, do you like for me to call you Oppa?"

The boy's face turns red as he looks away from me. "Well... Y-yeah. I guess I do," he answers, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay, then it's settled," I grab his hand, "Let's start walking back, Oppa." I put emphasis on the last word and laugh. Namjoon acts like a nervous wreck the whole way back, and I love every bit of it. If using the word 'Oppa' produces a flustered Namjoon every time, then that just became my new favorite word.

When we get back to our spot on the beach, Jin and Jimin are already there. Jin lays on the sand while Jimin is crouched down next to him, covering his tall legs with sand.

"Hey," Jimin calls out as soon as he sees us, "You're just in time to help me make Jin a mermaid!" Jin only gives us an annoyed look as he gets burried. I laugh and join them.

We all collect buckets of sand and run back to Jin to dump it on him. Once we are satisfied with the amount of sand, we collect some water and dump it on him so that the sand will keep whatever shape we give it. From his hips to his toes, we form the shape of a mermaid tail. When we get the right shape, we draw scales all over it. Once it's done, we step back to admire our work.

"Jin, you make quite the mermaid," I laugh.

Jin rolls his eyes. "Of course I do. Ariel has nothing on this," he motions to his impressive mermaid body with his hands. We decide to take a picture with mermaid Jin so that we can show off our impressive sand sculpting skills. We all stand behind Jin's head. Namjoon brings up his holopad to take a group picture of us. I stand in the middle of Jimin and Namjoon, and as the timer for the picture counts down, both of them wrap their arms around me. I smile and we all make a heart sign with our thumb and forefinger.

"Make sure you send it to me," I demand. Namjoon nods and sends it in a group message to everyone with the caption, 'look what washed up on the beach'.

The rest of the day is spent looking at different shells, which every shell seemed to interest Jimin, playing a game of frisbee, more swimming, and watching the sun set over the horizon. The way the setting sun reflects on the ocean as it disappears from the sky leaves me breathless. A line of golden light stretches from the sun, and over the water. I feel so happy and at peace. My only wish is that the other boys could share this moment with us.

The sun is finally gone, and the stars have replaced it. Namjoon and Jimin both have logged out, but Jin wanted to tell me something before he logged out.

"I've been friends with Namjoon for a long time," he starts, "He deals with a lot, and I've been with him through the worst of it." A strong wind blows past us as I look up at Jin. I stay quiet, scared that he'll decide not to keep telling me this if I say anything.

"My boy has been under a lot of pressure lately, and it's been getting to him. The past few months he's been really depressed. We could all see it, but there wasn't anything we could do to help him. We thought nothing could help him," he smiles and looks at me, "but then you came along." I freeze, every inch of me except for my heart, which seems to be jumping around enough for the both of us.

"I'm telling you this because I care about Namjoon a lot. I want to see the happiness he has now stay forever. I know the only person who's happiness your responsible for is your own, but if you care about him too, please remember how much happiness you've brought him and don't leave us." Of course, what Jin is asking of me is something serious, but for some reason I feel very lighthearted.

"Don't worry," I tell him, "I'm here to stay."

__________

A/N -

I really didn't mean for this chapter to be so long. It was supposed to be a short filler chapter to give me a break since the last chapter was so long, but this one ended up being over 4,500 words hahahaha wow.

I decided to leave some of the boys out of this chapter so that Wren could get a little closer to these characters. It made things a lot easier too since I didn't have to create dialogue for eight characters.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Peace out my dudes!