I HAVE always wanted to make out with myself.

Yes, I realize this makes me sound strange and selfish, but I am not like that in the least.

I’m just a lonely teen who would kiss himself if the opportunity presented itself.

Love is a must for me, but despite how important it is to me, I don’t have it. Which makes me need it more.

I don't have a single girl I can call my girlfriend or make out with. Which is why I am tempted to kiss myself.

If you think that is weird, I am sure it is even weirder that I ordered a girlfriend.

Don’t judge just yet because this girl isn’t even a real girl.

Sounds nonsensical, but I will take what I can get. So I ordered an invisible girlfriend.

No, I will not make out with a girl that I can not see, but I will make out with a girl I can see, except she is all part of a virtual reality game.

Sounds confusing, but that is pretty cool, right?

Well, even if you do not find it cool, at least I won’t be the weird single person with no one to make out with.

Now you must wonder how I will kiss it. Smooching is not important to me. Okay, maybe it is.

But I am sure anyone can understand me. I am an eighteen-year-old guy with virgin lips, which is such a disgrace to me.

I know it doesn’t matter, but it does to me because it reminds me of how inept I am, a truth I’m trying to forget. So, if it means kissing a virtual girl to feel like I have a girlfriend then I am willing to take the risk.

This reminds me I still have not made it clear how I will kiss her, but let me not go into those juicy details just yet.

The most important detail is how I gained access to my soon-to-be virtual reality girlfriend.

It all started when I came out from the toilet at school after having a hard time pooping.

I know what you might be thinking. Who poops at school? But in life, we all have, and I don’t think that makes me appear less weird than I have already portrayed myself to be.

So when I exited the toilet after making it smell like a thousand farts, I found James, who is known as the creepy nerd seated on the floor near the sink area, with what appeared to be mesmerizing looking virtual reality headsets.

I was hoping he did not notice the smell I had produced because pooping at school is considered an abomination, which makes me wonder why. Think about it, what are the toilets for then?

I tried not to gain his attention, but he soon disrupted me as I was trying to tiptoe out of the restroom.

“You really need to work on your diet. Your poop smells worse than mine and I don’t think I pay attention to what I eat.” He said, removing his virtual reality goggles which revealed his dark brown eyes. He then laughed, making me wonder what was wrong with him.

I narrowed my eyes and sighed.“You should be in class right now rather than trying to determine whose excrement wins the foul smell championship.”

“We all know that you would win.” He giggled more, causing me to glare daggers at him.

“Why aren’t you in a class with all the other students?”

“Why are you in the restroom producing foul scents?” He retorted with a cheeky grin on his face.

“I couldn’t hold it, okay?” I defended myself. "You’re just in here wasting your time playing virtual reality games."

“I am sure the teachers are grateful I am not in class; they find me too creepy. Besides, I am very smart, so I can miss class and still pass really well.”

He had a fair point because he is one of the best students in my class.

“So, what game are you playing on that thing?” I pointed at his virtual reality headset.

He blushed slightly.“I was talking to my girlfriend.”

I stayed silent for some seconds, then laughed.“Your girlfriend?“

“Yes. She is a virtual girl that I get to see when I put on these goggles.”

I thought I laughed enough before, but I laughed even more. “What?”

“I knew you would be too dumb to comprehend this. Take this and read it, then you will understand what I am talking about.” He handed me a booklet with very few pages.

I took it and then that was when I remembered I did not wash my hands.

So I went to the sink, washed my hands, and left James busy with his so-called girlfriend.

At lunchtime, I was so bored I just had to read the booklet he gave me.

The title was in a bold font and it immediately attracted my attention.

“MY INVISIBLE GIRLFRIEND,”

Immediately, I wanted to understand what was so awesome about it, that James would skip class for it.

“Are you tired of girl’s dramatic behavior?”

“No,” I replied in my mind. I never once had a girlfriend, so I had nothing to be tired of.

“Or would you like to have the perfect girlfriend?”

“Yes,” I mentally accepted. I did not care if she was perfect or not, I just wanted a girlfriend.

I read all the other information to find out more about that game, and it captivated me to know that the experience would not differ from having an actual girlfriend.

The advertisement showed that it would come with high-class sensors that would allow me to feel her touch every time. So I bet that explains to you how I will kiss her. If it doesn’t; I don’t really care.

I fell in love with the idea and so when I came home, I did what any normal single person would do:

I ordered it.

 ____  Authors note____

Okay, Luca is weird. Don't you think so?

I guess this story would not make sense if he wasn't this weird.

But I promise that you will understand why he is that way and why he has made such a weird choice. He, like any other person, has his reasons and if you read on it will all make sense.

I just feel extremely honored to let you guys go on his adventure. It will be exciting, cringe-worthy, funny, and most importantly, dramatic.

So what are you waiting for? Keep scrolling to find out.