"Betram, is my new Leopard Beat issue here?" Emma asked, excitedly.

"One moment," Bertram told her, placing headphones over his ears before handing the magazine over. Emma screamed at the top of her lungs when she snatched it from his hands.

"My, god!" Diana shouted, rushing down the stairs. "I thought you were getting murdered!"

"What's wrong? Who's hurt? First aid kit or ambulance?" Jessie shouted, running into the room.

"My Leopard Beat magazine came!" Emma grinned up at her. "This month had a special feature of bra stuffing! You might wanna borrow it, Diana."

"Hey," Diana frowned, covering her chest with her arms.

"'Which is better? Tissues or socks?'"

"Spoiler alert, it's neither," Jessie told her. "Quilted toilet paper. You're welcome."

"I'll put that on the shopping list," Bertram sighed.

"What up, penthouse!" Tony shouted, walking in through the kitchen door.

"What up, Tony!" Jessie greeted as the three girls walked into the kitchen

"Hey, Jessie. I brought you a welcome to New York fuggeda-basket."

"Aw, thanks, Tony! New Yorks subway maps, Metro cards, and ... pepper spray? Is this in case I'm a victim of a-salt?"

"Wow," Diana muttered as the two adults laughed.

***

"You know, this is really nice of Tony," Jessie said as she looked through the gift basket.

"Nice and obvious," Emma grinned. "Tony's in love. It's here in Leopard Beat!"

"'Surefire Signs a Guy is Crushing On You,'" Diana read the title of the article. ""First, he'll surprise you with presents.'"

"Tony gave Jessie the fuggeda-basket."

"'Second, he'll laugh at your jokes,'" Jessie read, taking the magazine from the oldest Ross' hands.

"Tony laughed when you said, 'Victim of a-salt,'" Diana said.

"Yeah, because it was funny," Jessie laughed.

"No. It wasn't!" Emma told her with a smile. "Leopard Beat is never wrong. It's my roadmap to womanhood."

"Your roadmap has a hologram poster of Taylor Launter."

"Ooh! Let me see!" Diana exclaimed, hip-checking Jessie to move her.

"When you turn it this way, his shirt comes off," Emma told her sister. "Off, on. Off, on. Off, on. Wanna see, Jessie?"

"Pass," Jessie told her. "Even if Tony does like me, I'm not going to date him. I learned in Texas not to date someone you work with."

"Did your heart get broken by a rodeo clown?" Emma asked.

"Actually, yes. I was referring to last summer, when I was working at Señor Clucks Chickateria. Everything was fine until I broke up with the assistant manager, Buck Cluck. That's when he assigned me to the plucking pit."

"You had to pluck chicken eyebrows?"

"Emma, no," Diana sighed.

"I spent the summer knee-deep in beaks, claws, and chicken guts. Which, by the way, was our 99 cent combo," Jessie said.

***

Jessie, Diana, and Emma were walking back to the penthouse after shopping for Emmas closet revamp. Emma peeked in the lobby doors and quickly turned around to squeal in Jessies face, "O-M-G! Tony's in the lobby!"

"F-Y-I. That's his job," Jessie reminded her.

"Wait! Wait!" Diana exclaimed, running in front of Jessie to stop her from walking further. Usually, she wouldn't care for Emma's schemes, but Diana did believe that Jessie needed a life outside of their family. "Give this to me." She snatched the magazine from Emma's hands. "Now this will sound stupid, but there's a chart in here to show how much a boy likes you."

"Another way to tell is if he gives you his toy from his extra value meal," Jessie told her, confusing the two girls.

"It says if he touches you from shoulder to elbow, you're in the friend zone," Emma explained, turning back to the topic at hand. "Elbow to wrist, transitional zone. And wrist to fingertips means he's about to hold your hand which is romance zone!"

"As long as he doesn't touch my end zone," Jessie said. Dianas face morphed to disgust and pushed her way into the building behind Jessie.

"Yo, Jessie!" Tony exclaimed when they walked in the door. "Check out the addition to my uniform. I got epaulets!"

"He's upgrading his wardrobe!" Emma told Jessie, excitedly. "Leopards Beat's surefire sign number four that he's crushing on you!"

"I wouldn't call that an upgrade. He looks like he's guarding the Wizard of Oz."

"So, what do you got there?" Tony asked, walking back over to the three.

"We are organizing Emma's closet and adding a few extras to Diana's room," Jessie told him. "Again."

"We got shoe boxes, sweater boxes, hat boxes, jewlery boxes, and a box for my socks. Ooh! That rhymes," Emma excitedly said.

"I got a lamp," Diana smiled, holding up the lamp in her hand.

"Yeah. And the party continues, because tomorrow is hanger day."

"Jessie, let me help you," Tony said, taking some of the bags from Jessies hands.

"Did you see that?" Emma asked, pulling Jessie aside again. "He went for your hands."

"Ooh! He skipped two zones! He's a zone skipper!" Diana exclaimed. She normally wouldn't get excited over this kind of stuff but Emma always had the ability to influence her older sister.

"Girls, relax. It's not like he's asking me out," Jessie chuckled.

"Hey, Jessie, wanna have lunch in the park tomorrow?" Tony asked as the three girls got into the elevator.

"Well..."

"She'd love to! Right, Jessie?" Emma answered for her.

"I would love to, but I can't miss hanger day," Jessie chuckled awkwardly.

"You're excused," Diana smiled.

"Awesome."

"I'm thinking of a lobby themed wedding," Emma grinned once the doors closed. "What are you thinking?"

"You don't wanna know what I'm thinking."

***

"Jessie! You're gonna be late for your date with Tony!" Emma shouted from her spot on the couch with Zuri and Diana.

"So, how do I look?" Jessie asked, standing at the top of the stairs in a hoodie and sweatpants.

"Like Cinderella," Zuri grinned before turning to Diana and saying, "before the bippity-boppity-boo."

"Perfect! These clothes will make Tony think of me as just one of the guys, and he'll never ask for another date."

"Look, Jessie, no matter how badly you dress, or how dorky your hair looks..." Diana said.

"My hair always looks like this," Jessie told her.

"Oops," Zuri muttered.

"Tony's still gonna try and kiss you!" Emma said, trying to save the moment. "Then you'll start dating..."

"And knowing my history, we'll have a hideous breakup, and I'll have to walk up thirty flights of stairs so I don't pass Tony in the lobby."

"So you don't like Tony at all?" Zuri asked. "Have you seen his new epaulets?"

"Yes, Zuri, and they're lovely, but I'm not getting involved with him," Jessie explained. "Or his sparkling blue eyes. Or those perfect, full lips that just make a gal melt like butter on hot Texas asphalt ..." She snaps herself out of her daydream by splashing water on her face. "And I'm back."

"Wow..." Diana muttered, her eyes wide.

"Ooh! My turn!" Zuri shouted, picking up and cup and splashing water on her face. "I don't like this game."

***

"So, how'd your date with Tony go?" Emma asked, dragging Diana into the living room when Jessie had gotten home. "I think I smell romance."

"That's sauerkraut," Jessie told her. "There is no romance with Tony. And there never will be."

"I can't believe Leopard Beat was wrong. I'm never reading again," Emma decided.

"That's what you learned?"

"That's what she learns in everything," Diana sighed, making her way to her room.