Dear James,

Despite the fact that a few months have passed since I wrote you, little has changed. The same friends, the same fun, the same feelings and the same problems at home.

The holidays have passed and now I have to feel my heart clench whenever you ask Lily out.

I always thought that pain was physical. When Druella gave me a sharp slap across my face or when Cygnus raised his wand and aimed a Crucio at me.

But now I have discovered that pain is internal too. Its emotional, it's mental. It rips at your heart, threatening to spill tears. Makes you regret things you never thought about.

Tell me, James, what going through your mind when you look at her? That she's amazing? Beautiful? Intelligent? Perfect? Even though I wish it was me, she's perfect for you. Hell, she'd be perfect for anyone! I'm nobody compared to her.

She's my best friend, and I wonder why she hangs out with me friend there are others who'd do anything to be her friend. But I guess that's what friends do, right? Be with each other till the end of the line.

But James, would it be so bad if you looked my way the way you look at Lily?

Love, 

Cassie