chapter five — ME's office
"To forget a person you love is to forget a story, a memory, a forever love." — unknown

———

EDITED: December 7th, 2020
Tessa's POV

      WE ARRIVED AT NEW HAVEN, Connecticut, merely a half hour later. As everyone fled from the plane, bags and coffee cups in each available hand. I was the last to exit the stairs, careful not to slip and fall and completely embarrass myself in front of everyone. I saw Spencer look behind twice, checking me every time, and every time he knew that I saw him, he'd turn back around with flushed cheeks.

      "He's so cute..." I thought to myself, and a small grin started to tug on the upper corners of my lips at his dorky smile.

      "You okay?"

      I jumped in my bones as I was startled by someone speaking up beside me, and it was JJ, who snuck up behind me without me sensing. I took back control of my breathing, and shook away all the fear in my veins, and composed an answer.

      "Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I politely smiled, still not really knowing how to answer that question for the twenty seven years I've been on this Earth. I watched the ground move from under my feet with every step, fairly distracted by it.

      "You don't seem fine, you seem distracted," JJ stated, smiling softly a bit at me, she then rose one eyebrow at me, and continues. "Tired?"

      It was now about noon, since we left around eight and it took four and a half hours to get here. I wasn't that tired, since I'm used to not getting the right amount of sleep, you could say.

      "Yeah, a little," I flashed a fake smile in hopes she'd end the conversation, mostly because I don't like people asking me if I'm okay, it makes me feel awkward and weird.

      "Hmm.." She bit down on her bottom lip, as if she was trying to convince herself that I wasn't lying straight through my teeth. "Alright, hey, if you're still nervous, you can talk to me okay? There's nothing wrong with being scared, but don't stress out. I remember when I was new, not a fun time."

      A laugh escaped her mouth after she finished, and a small one comes from me, as well. Maybe she was right, I shouldn't be nearly as stressed out as I was. So, I took a deep breath, and tried my best to relax myself.

      "You two coming or what?" Morgan, who was walking in between Spencer and Emily, shouted from about ten feet in front of us.

      "Yep!" I yelled equally as loud back, waving my hand, signaling to them they could move forward without worrying about us.

      While I was talking with JJ, I never realized how we were now walking upon the police department. It was a beautiful small building, a red and white brick outside, with several glass windows, and two big, glass doors were a few feet in front of us. As JJ and I walked in, I was blown away from how small it really was, along with how people were in here, you'd think it'd be against the law.

      "Jeez, busy much?" Prentiss whispered, loud enough for only Morgan, Spencer, JJ and I to hear. A very old man with a balding head took notice of our small group of profilers, and started walking over to our group.

      "Hello, I'm lead officer Maxwell, but you can just call me Dan, you're the profilers, right?"

      "Yes, do you have a place where we can work?" Hotch replied, a very serious expression sprawled on his face.

      "Of course," the old man nodded slowly, and wakes away with a limp in his right leg, also signaling for all of us to follow.

      He lead us to a tiny conference room, but it'll have to do. In the room, was a wooden oval table, with eight chairs around it. The only other thing in the room was a white board and a cork board where we could hang up pictures.

      "And we're supposed to work in here?" Morgan rolled his eyes, where he was examining the room with distaste written on his face, my guess is he isn't used to small rooms like this.

      "Okay, here's what is going to happen," Hotch began, his voice sounding firm. "Morgan and JJ, I want you to stay here, and control the press. Rossi, Prentiss, and I will split up and talk to the families, to try to figure out how these girls are somehow connected. Reid, I want you to go with Carter to the ME, and from now on, you two are partners because I'll need someone to watch over Carter until she passes her gun test."

      I know my cheeks are burning slightly, of course I get paired with the very cute doctor.

•••

      After about a fifteen minute ride, we reached the ME, which was almost the exact same looking building as PD.

      "You ready?" Spencer asked as he peeled open his door to the black SUV that we drove in, and stepped out cautiously.

      "Yeah, definitely," I replied, doing the same, slamming the door a little harder than Spencer, though. I tossed the keys from the car into my front pocket along with my phone, and adjust my black button up as we entered the building.

      After entering, a nice nurse directed us to where the ME would be residing downstairs. It was a silent walk there, since neither of us knew what to talk about before seeing these dead bodies. I've seen plenty of bodies before, in pictures and textbooks, but hardly ever in real life. I wanted to try to prepare myself, but there was nothing much I could do. A doctor met us halfway, and it's a young man with tan skin, he's got brown-black hair, and I would've guessed him to be around thirty.

      "You're the FBI, correct?" He questioned, looking Spencer up and down, then repeated the same action with me.

      "Yes," Spencer took a step forward towards the doctor. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid, and this is Dr. Tessa Carter. We're here to check out the victims."

      "No, I thought you were here for the party," the doctor joked, but when no one laughed, the doctor shrugged it off and walked towards three metal tables that held the bodies. I couldn't see anything, because they were covered with thick cloths, but only their bodies were outlined.

      "So our first vic, Tara, got the worst of it," the doctor explained, and I read his name-tag, it was scrawled with the name Allen. He uncovered Tara from the sheet slowly, and my stomach churned at the sight of her. "She's got a really ugly sliced throat, you can tell with the almost saw like cut. And her face was beaten in so incredibly, we couldn't tell if the woman on her drivers license was the same dead woman in front of us."

      "What was exactly the cause of death?" Spencer asked, bending down closer to Tara's dead face, while I was frozen exactly in my spot with wide green eyes, it was like my feet were glued down to the tiles of the floor.

      "Surprisingly, it wasn't the sliced throat. She had fractured her skull, and there was also signs of trauma. But the cause of death was internal bleeding."

      "Spencer I-I have to g-go or I'm—" I don't even have an opportunity to finish my sentence before I rushed completely out of the room where the bodies were being held.

      I needed air, I needed to breath. I couldn't breathe in there, not at all, because that woman is dead. She's dead. She's dead and there's no bringing her back. And a person did this to her, a real life human being.

      By the time I even returned to my reality, I realized I was back outside in the parking lot. I probably looked absolutely embarrassed running out of the building like that, but frankly I didn't care. I walked over to the edge of the parking lot, thankful no one else was out here —excluding some parked cars.

      "Tessa?"

      And that's when I threw up.

      I couldn't hold it in anymore, because the image of the beaten, broken, woman wouldn't leave my head. So, I leaned over the edge of the cement parking lot onto the grass. I bent down on my knees for a better support, but my small breakfast from the plane was littering the area now.

      I felt Spencer appear behind me, with a soft expression, and without asking he wrapped his slim fingers around the strands of hair in front of my face. Now that my hair was out of my face, I completely let everything out of my system. And after a few moments, I sighed heavily as I felt my stomach emptied and no longer the urge to throw up.

      "Spencer, I-I'm sorry—"

      "—Tessa, you are completely fine. You had the same reaction that I had, except I kind of puked on the ME," Spencer smiled in the softest manner, lightly rubbing my back in a circle for support as I looked at him with sad eyes.

      "Thank you..." I murmured, swallowing the dirty taste in my mouth as I rose to my feet.

      I felt flustered and embarrassed, and I really wished anyone but Spencer was here to witness that. Even Morgan, who probably would've teased me the entire time. But I probably gave Spencer the wrong idea of myself, that I can't handle myself if need be, and I hated that. I wanted him to see me as the strong, beautiful woman, not the puking girl at the sight of a dead body.

      "We should get back to the police station."