forty three | beth

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"One sparkle pager for a Dr. Cristina Yang."

The woman instantly sits up in Meredith's bed, the covers no longer hanging over her head. I flash Meredith a quick grin before turning to Cristina.

"With the clinical trial failing after failing. . .I haven't been able to really use the sparkle pager." I walk over to the bedside. "It needs a good owner who will actually accept surgeries." And I place the pager in her open palm.

"If I were the kind of person who kissed people, I would kiss you." She looks up at me.

My back falls against the cushioned mattress. "Don't mention kissing to me."

"What's wrong in Fairytale Land where all your dreams magically come true?"

"The clinical trial's been putting a lot of pressure on us, and. . .he bought this bottle of sparkling apple cider to open when we succeed with the treatment of a patient. And it just sits there, taunting us because we can't succeed!"

"Feel better?"

"So much better, thanks."

First thing at the hospital, I have the interns arrange our most promising patients of the clinical trial before meeting Derek behind the nurses' station.

"Patients number twelve and thirteen are. . .Jeremy West and Beth Monroe." I pass out the organized files. "Jeremy has been suffering from grand mal seizures, and Beth's completely paralized on her right side. Your choice as to who we see first."

"Jeremy's surgery is today, Beth's isn't until tomorrow." He reads through the highlighted information. "They're young."

"Makes them more resilient."

----------

"Dr. Grey. Is this him?" Beth greets me with a knowing smirk as her parents help her into the hospital bed.

"Him?" Derek turns to me with a similar expression, although it doesn't reach his eyes.

She adjusts the pillow behind her head. "Oh, you know, she has a pet name for you. The Seattle Grace Brain Butcher."

"Beth." Her mother lightly scold. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, no. That's fine. That's fine." Derek reassures the family of three before shaking each of their hands. "Hi, I'm Dr. Shepherd. Nice to meet you."

"So, come on. Tell me, how does this work?" Beth questions.

Her father is quick to speak up. "You're going to inject a live virus into her tumor? And that's safe?"

"The virus is still in testing stages." The neurosurgeon discloses. "I've made some adjustments that I hope will destroy the tumor."

"Hey, tumor destroyers." She nods her head in approval. "I like that."

"Has this ever worked before?"

". . .no."

"So, I'm your lab rat."

"Beth."

"I'm just saying if this works, my name will go down in the annals of some medical book. That's kinda cool." Beth glances up at her dad.

"Not if I beat you to it."

The five of us look towards the door to see our other clinical trial patient, Jeremy West.

"Jeremy."

"You know each other?"

"You didn't call. I thought you backed out."

"As if I'd break our pact? Come here."

Jeremy leans forward as Beth brings up a hand to cup his cheek. . .and the two share a very passionate kiss.

"They know each other."

While the two converse within Beth's room, Mr. and Mrs. Monroe pull us outside to discuss the boy next door.

"What is he doing here?"

"His surgery is this afternoon."

"I knew she didn't find this clinical trial on her own. Bizarre experimental surgery, it had to be Jeremy." Mrs. Monroe takes another glimpse through the window.

Mr. Monroe explains the background to this situation. "They met when they were both being treated at Mayo last year. They went through radiation, chemo, a support group."

"And am I wrong to assume you don't want them to be together?"

"Look, we like Jeremy. He's a good enough kid. And I feel for him that he's going through this alone, but we worry about Beth. She thinks that she's in love with him. We just don't want her getting so attached to someone that might. . ."

"Die." Derek finishes his statement.

And the familiarity of this situation reveals itself with Mr. Monroe's incomplete statement: parents looking out for their only daughter.

"If something happens, if he doesn't survive. . .Beth won't want to live." Mrs. Monroe clutches the pendant of her necklace. "She's my only child. She has to. . .she has to want to fight to stay alive."

Jeremy continues to talk to Beth, even with Mrs. Monroe's small remarks to have Beth switch to a different room. Preferably one further away from Jeremy, although she doesn't say it directly.

But an unexpected seizure sends Jeremy back to his room quicker than wanted.

"Let's run a second set of labs before surgery." Derek instructs on his way out the door.

"How's Beth?" Jeremy speaks. "Was she-Was she scared? Or. . ."

"She's alright, Jeremy." I refrain from saying more than necessary.

George soon comes in to inform me that Dr. Shepherd's looking for me, even though he hadn't left the room too long ago.

So I have one of my interns run the labs while I search for him.

"The IRB is saying I failed. I failed, Leven." Is the first thing he says to me.

"Derek, all I'm hearing is we have until midnight to save our clinical trial."

"Jeremy's surgery is today."

"So we move up and squeeze Beth into the afternoon. Two patients, two chances, all before the midnight deadline. We are so close to finding the cure, Derek. You haven't failed."

"But are we going too far? These are people's lives."

"Who are willing to submit themselves into the trial. You and I, together. . .we can do this."

He hums to himself. "Two patients. Bends the rules without breaking them."

"Clear it with the chief?"

"I will."

----------

"Jeremy's labs are back, and he's good to go for surgery. I'm assuming the chief signed off on that?"

"Uh, yeah. He did."

As we turn the corner, the two of us see Beth clinging to the wall and dragging her semi-paralyzed body down the hallway.

"Get a wheelchair." He mutters to me. "Where are you going? What are you doing?" The attending catches her before she can fall to the ground.

"M-My mom went to call my grandma, and my dad went to the cafeteria. There wasn't a wheelchair in my room." She settles into the wheelchair I bring over.

I rub her arm soothingly. "What were you thinking, Beth?"

"I just want to see Jeremy. Please. I don't want the seizure to be the last time I see him. Please, I just need to see him." Beth replies with a broken tone.

That alone is enough for me to help her with her hair and makeup, her choice not mine.

Inside the conference room, Derek reads through Beth's charts across from us as I finish helping her get ready.

"Am I going to get to be alone with Jeremy?"

"Alone alone?"

"We've never done it, either of us. We've been waiting until we both were tumor free, but with the surgery. . .anything could happen." She glances at me through the mirror. "We can do it, right? It won't kill us or anything?"

"No. No, it won't kill you." He stands up from his comfortable spot.

"I mean, you've done it, right?"

"With each other?"

"He's done it with people. I've done it with people."

"What's it like?" Beth looks between the two of us. "Is it magical?"

"It can be. With the right person."

From the corner of my eyes, I catch Derek staring at me. Our mouths form into similar smiles.

And so Derek and I help Beth into Jeremy's room and stand guard in front of the closed room, making sure neither of Beth's parents accidentally walk in.

"How'd it go?" Derek swings open the curtain around the bed, a shit-eating grin gracing his facial features.

"Derek." I bump his shoulder with mine.

"What?" He teases.

I press my lips together in an attempt to stop from smiling, but it doesn't work. "For guarding your room and diverting your parents, I think we deserve a brief review. And I mean brief."

"It was, um. . ."

"It was amazing. Thank you."

"We. . .have to take Jeremy down to the O.R. now."

"So, I. . .I'll see you after?"

"Definitely."

"Beth, Jeremy may not be awake yet when we take you in for your surgery, so. . ." I let them know as a couple of nurses bring in the gurney.

"So. . .so I'll see you after your surgery."

"Alright. See you after."

The two share a tearful kiss before parting ways, muttering words of confidence and encouragement that they would make it out alive.

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