Bellamy, Clarke and Jaha returned by late evening that night, unfortunately with no good news. The fallout shelter had failed to be sealed properly, meaning thousands of bodies were enclosed inside it like a tomb. There was no way that it would protect us against radiation, even if we could clear it out. 

To make matters worse, all of the sick Grounders had passed away, even after Murphy stole a dose of Delactivene for the little girl. Well, all of them had succumbed to the ARS save for one...Luna. 

It seemed like she was our only stroke of good luck. While the radiation had made Luna sick like the others, she had overcome the symptoms rather than succumbing. The only factor that differed Luna from the others, was the fact that she was a Nighblood. 

Thus, a group including Abby, Raven, Miller and Murphy were currently headed to an island not far from Arkadia. It was on this island that a lab resided, one that Murphy and his girlfriend, Emori, had informed us about. Here, Abby and Raven were going to work to genetically modify Luna's blood so that all of us could somehow receive her blood without it killing us. 

If this worked, we wouldn't need a completely fortified Ark, and perhaps more of us, if not all, could survive. 

Bellamy had headed out early this morning with a team to hunt. No matter what happened with the Nightblood, we needed food for the next five years. The fact that our hunting teams were coming back with less and less worried us all. 

I stood out in the courtyard with Clarke, ensuring that everyone was sticking to their jobs. People had begun to slip in the past few days, not taking the situation as seriously as needed to be. 

Jasper Jordan was perfect example of that.

He stood by the edge of camp that overlooked the small lake that lay adjacent to Arkadia. A group including Monty and Harper hovered beside him, all of them giggling at the sight before them. 

As I approached, I could see what had them laughing so hard. 

In the middle of the lake, floating on a piece of the ship was none other than Jaha, seemingly just waking up from a deep slumber. 

"Hey, Jaha!" Jasper screamed over the hooting and hollering from where the group of us stood. "Looks like you got floated!"

"Keeping yourself busy, Mr. Jordan!" Jaha called, his voice carrying across the lake. 

Jasper grinned, "Oh, yeah! I'm living it up, every last day!"

"Do I want to know how you managed to do this without waking me up?" Jaha questioned, apprehension in his voice. 

"Probably not. But the effects are harmless, I promise. Kind of."

"All right!" Clarke announced, stopping at my side. "We've had our fun, let's get back to work."

I gave her a small smile, noticing she seemed as anxious as I did gave me very little solace. Bellamy and his hunting team should have been back by now. We both knew it, but neither Clarke or I wanted to be the first ones to voice our concerns.

"I'm going to head inside and do some more sorting and rationing." I told her, nodding my head toward the ship. It was one of the only jobs I was currently capable of. My gunshot wound still causing too much pain for me to be able to do much else. 

I usually helped out in Medbay, Abby and Jackson teaching me everything there was to know, but luckily it had been rather slow lately. This meant that I was on standby for if anyone got hurt while the two of them were at the island, leaving me time to continue with rationing. 

Clarke gave me a small nod, looking briefly toward the front gates. "I'll come get you the minute I hear anything from Bellamy."

I lightly placed my hand on her arm as I walked by, letting her know I felt what she was going through, and that I appreciated all that she was doing. The pressure placed on Clarke's shoulders was a lot for anyone, let alone an eighteen year old. 

As I made my way toward the Ark, I gave Monty a small smile as he started toward Clarke, a curious look on his face. 

I didn't know what yet, but something felt off. 

---

My day was spent working in a mixture of fear and pain. 

The fear came from the back that Bellamy was still not back yet, and we had heard nothing from him or his hunting team. 

The pain came from my torso, stretching across my entire body. I blamed it on exhaustion, knowing I had barely slept the night before and had taken no breaks as of yet. 

So, by early evening I knew I needed to take somewhat of a break, or at least see the outside light for a few moments. 

Groggily, I made my way through the Ark, eventually making it to the courtyard. 

However, instead of finding solace and peace in the outdoors, I walked right into complete chaos. 

The first thing that tipped me off to the current disaster was Monty's voice which was carrying across the whole courtyard. My eyes furiously scanned the crowd to find him standing by the Rover, the radio attached to the speaker held to his mouth. 

It didn't take me long to realize what exactly it was that Monty was saying to the people...he was reading Clarke's list. The list that decided that one hundred people who would get to survive in the Ark. 

I felt my blood run cold as people watched on, their faces becoming increasingly morphed in anger and worry as each name was read off that didn't match their own. 

I hadn't seen the list yet, so hearing the names was as much as a surprise to me as everyone else. 

Clarke, Raven, Octavia and Bellamy were all on it. And despite my pleads to Clarke to leave me off, so was I. 

Those missing included Jasper, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Miller amongst many others. 

I knew that not everyone could be saved, but it didn't make it any less painful to think of all those who would be left behind. 

As Monty neared the end of the list, tensions in the crowd grew and slowly everyone began to form around Clarke, their eyes clouded in accusation and anger. 

I pushed myself toward the front, wincing as pain shot through my stomach once again. I did my best to ignore it, knowing we had bigger issues on hand right now. 

I arrived at the front, stopping beside Monty and Harper's sides, Clarke standing a few feet in front of us. 

"I didn't survive the Ice Nation just to die because you think I'm not good enough!" Riley yelled at Clarke, the crowd nodding in agreement. 

 "Riley, you're smart!" Clarke assured, "But you were training to be a guard on the Ark. We only need so many soldiers." 

"You're telling me that Darcy is more qualified than me?" Riley questioned, looking over to Darcy who looked on with wide eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights. "She's a trainee too, and I'm a hell of a lot better shot, no offense." 

"And what about Avery? Or Octavia Blake?" he questioned, his eyes landing on me. "Both of them were sent down here without having really lived or worked on the Ark. How are they supposed to contribute now?"

I pushed my shoulders back, not taking offense to his words. I knew why Riley was upset, he had every right to be. And part of what he was saying was true. 

"Avery's been training under my mom in Medbay." Clarke explained, shooting me a quick look. "She's smart and she helps wherever she's needed. And she can fight."

"And she's Bellamy Blakes girlfriend!" someone from the back of the ground called, earning murmurs of agreement. 

That one stung a little. The suggestion that the only reason Clarke was keeping me around was for Bellamy's sake...maybe they were right though.

"This wasn't easy for Clarke!" I finally spoke, my voice sounding weak. "But right now we have no other option."

"Easy for you to say!" someone shot out, people nodding in agreement. 

"You want my spot?" I questioned, locking eyes with the man who had yelled, "You can have it for all I care."

"I know this is hard to take in," Clarke announced, stepping in front of me to stop me from going any further.  "But to ensure the survival of the human race, the list had to be weighted towards young women who can have children."

Now, that made more sense. 

Sure, I was training in Medbay, and could fight, but the biggest reason that Darcy, Octavia, Raven and myself among the other young women were on this list was our ability to have children. It was smart.

"Wait, what?" Hayes, another one of the guard trainees, asked in dismay. "It's because they can have kids? How is that fair?"

Clarke was quick with her response. "It's not fair. It's smart."

"Yeah," Monty chimed in, speaking for the first time since reading off the list. "What about Harper?"

 "There's a chance she could be a drain on medical resources." Clarke was hesitant as she spoke, avoiding Harper's eye.

"Well, I'm not sick." Harper argued, distaste dripping from her every word. 

"Not yet."

Monty looked over to Harper, "Your dad." he muttered in recognition. He then looked back to Clarke in disgust. "You went into her medical records?"

Harper looked destroyed. "You're condemning me for an illness I might have someday?"

"I had to consider all variables." Clarke explained, guilt dripping from her every feature. 

It was one thing to have to leave 400 innocent people off of the list, but to leave off your own friends...I knew that wasn't easy. 

"That's rich coming from a person who put herself on the list."  Harper shot back.

"And Bellamy Blake?" A man questioned. "Come on?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, taking a small step forward. 

"Of course Clarke and Bellamy should be included!" Jaha announced, stepping in before the situation escalated any further. "Strong leadership is essential for survival." he continued, coming to Clarke's side. 

"All right. You don't like the list." He moved toward Monty, holding his hand out. Once Monty had placed the piece of paper in his hands, Jaha continued. "Consider it shredded. Now, we can keep fighting each other and die, or we can work together and give everyone a shot a survival, your choice."

Everyone shared curious glances, each and every person intrigued by whatever Jaha was proposing. 

"Meaning what?" Monty questioned. 

"We hold a lottery, randomly choose the hundred people to survive. But you have to work for it, everyday." Jaha explained. "You don't show up for your assignments, you can't be in the lottery. When the time comes, we'll collect the names,  and we draw. Good?"

Slowly, everyone began to agree to Jaha's proposition. Despite this, I could see the worry on Clarke's face. 

But as much as I wanted to join her as she followed after Jaha, I felt like all the energy had drained from my body. 

A ringing suddenly sounded in my ear, as everything seemed to slowly spin around me. A layer of sweat now covered my entire body, but despite that I felt cold consume me.

"Avery?" Monty's voice was muffled as he appeared in front of me, his eyes full of confusion and worry. "What's wrong?"

I opened my mouth to answer him, but no words came out. Instead, I felt myself forward, only being stopped from hitting the ground by Monty who gripped onto me.

"Clarke!" he screamed, his voice coated in worry as he and Harper lowered me to the ground. "Clarke!"

I could faintly hear the sound of footsteps rushing toward us, but that was the last thing I remembered.