( PART I; a dreary existence. )
⟵ ◊ ⟶
chapter 1: supper table of bastards.

RAINA'S dark eyes stared into the North's distance, running along the seemingly endless tree line of mottled pine and oak. Even further than the tree line was the rolling hills that eventually lead toward the Wall. The area between the Keep and the forest was nothing except a plain of pale grass and dotted stone outcroppings. It was known that the North was a dreary place to most, but for those that could find beauty in it, true and deep appreciation was found. It was found in the light summer snows that would fall during a cloudy day, only to melt once they touched stone or dirt. The earthy smell that hung in the breeze of the Wolf's Wood, and the crispness of a frigid morning.

She felt the sweet appreciation for it all. It ran deep enough in her veins that when she faced a troubling day, she found peace by venturing to the Gods wood or even to the Wolf's wood when she was lucky enough.

A sigh escaped her lips as she turned to leave the walk way and toward the steps. Soon, she would meet Jon in kitchen to sup. Sometimes they were forced to if the spiteful Lady Stark was in a mood that day. On this particular one, she was.

Raina hadn't meant to bump into the candlestick in the main hall that was teeming with hot liquid wax earlier in the morning. Nor did she mean for it to tumble over and spill its contents onto the table that held Lady Stark's newly finished tapestry that was due to be hung by servants.

To say the least, Raina spent the rest of her time outside of the keep and away from the wrath that Catelyn had unleashed on her initially. She's spent her time isolated, as she sometimes was in the event that Jon was busy or Arya was sucked into her Lady duties.

As she drifted down the dim hallway, passed the dining hall where the Starks had already gathered for supper and towards the kitchen, she thought on the dreary day. It was a shame that it had turned so bitter, as she had awoken that morning in high spirits. Lady Stark was good at causing things to take a turn for the worse. Raina had immediately accepted her fate of a harsh scalding from Catelyn, but the resentment that the Lady Stark had toward the bastard had always seemed too unfair.

She nor Jon had asked to be born. Nor had they asked to be brought home with their father to lives as lowly bastards after the Rebellion. Bastards are a dishonorable thing to a house, but what could have been done? Catelyn had verbally expressed what her decision would have been. Leave Raina and Jon to be claimed by a lowly peasant or farmer, or, to her amusement, a pack of wolves. Why couldn't their mother have kept them? That questions had fun through her thoughts more times than she could ever count.

Arriving to the kitchen, she found that Jon was already seated at one of the small tables near the wall. With merely a candlestick to offer light, it might seem like a dreary place to dine but Raina and Jon thought otherwise. It was normally the place where servants would break their fasts or sup out of the sight of nobles. It also served as the supper table of bastards when the occasion called.

"Right on time," Jon commented once he saw her making her way to sit adjacent of him. He was already picking away at a roasted dove in plum sauce. Even though they were bastards, they still dined as the Starks did. Luckily, the servants treated them kindly. They understood the pain.

"As I always am," Raina replied in a less than enthusiastic tone before she took the pitcher of wine and began to pour it into her horn chalice. It was almost to the brim before she stopped.

"Are you looking to be drunk by the end of supper?" Jon asked with a grin. It was strange to see him in high spirits, yet she was too bitter to really acknowledge it. "Because it sure seems so."

"Now isn't the time, Jon," Raina muttered before she took the wine and downed a gulp. The horn was half empty before she set it down. The bitter taste of the crimson liquid clung to her tongue but soon disappeared as she began to angrily chew into a piece of her own dove that had been on a shared platter between them.

"What's wrong?" He asked as his original smile faded. "Is it Catelyn again?"

"Of course you didn't hear," Raina muttered as she reached for her chalice once more.

"How am I supposed to hear anything if I'm in the Wolfswood with Theon and Robb all day?" Jon retorted.

"Just forget it," Raina muttered in annoyance.

Jon scoffed. "Come on now, don't do this. Today was a good day."

"It was a good day for you!" She growled. "You spent your time enjoying the Wolfswood with Robb and Theon while I faced Catelyn's bitchiness for something that was an accident. Trust me, today was not a good day. I spent the majority of my time out in the cold so I wouldn't have to see her smug looks."

Jon's expression softened in understanding. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—,"

"It's fine," she sighed as she continued to eat and speak between bites. "I just don't understand why she treats me so much worse than you. It's as if she reserves it for me solely. We're both bastards in her eyes yet I receive the brunt of her wrath."

"I think it's because you're a girl," Jon states simply. "It makes sense. She's jealous of you, entirely. Sansa's prissy as can be, Arya is a handful that hates being a lady. You're quiet, meek, and beautiful; everything that could ever be asked of a noble lady. How could she not be jealous?"

"I mean, being her husband's bastard doesn't help," she muttered. The two sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke up. "I often wonder what we will do once father is gone."

"What do you mean?" Jon asked.

"What we will do with ourselves," She replies. "Once father's gone, Robb's lord, and Sansa and Arya have been married off. What is there to do for female bastard?"

Jon's allowed a smirk to tug at the corner of his lips and Raina reached over the table to playfully slap his shoulder. Even in serious situations, he would often joke about things which was exactly what he was doing.

"Why must you make such jokes?" She half mutters despite displaying a smile. "No, Jon, a brothel is not something I'm interested in. I can't believe you'd insinuate such a thing about your sister!"

"It was a merely a tease!" He defends himself. "I swear on it. But Raina, there's always something to do. You're not an ordinary bastard. You could find a role in this world. A handmaiden for a lady would be just fine. Or perhaps a knight in the south would take you as his wife. You're beautiful enough."

She rolled her eyes. "If only a knight would take me. But a handmaiden seems as if it'll be my only option. But you, you have far better options than me. I know you're a little old, but maybe becoming a squire in the south would be an option? Or something of the sorts. I know you're swordplay is almost as good as Ser Rodrik's."

"I think the Watch is the best for me," he answered and it causes Raina to freeze where she was, chalice in hand. "Uncle Benjen found his place there after the Rebellion and he does well. I think of all the things I could do, the Watch would my best option."

She stumbled over her own thoughts for a second before she could even conjure a reply. If Jon joined the Watch, there was no telling what would happen between them. They had always been together. How could she handle such a drastic change?

"You can't be serious?" She uttered, brows furrowed and dark eyes narrowed on him.

"As serious as I've ever been," he replies without hesitation. "It's an honorable thing to do."

"It always takes away any possibility of ever having a wife or your own children," she retorts. "Don't tell me you could live the rest of your days without ever knowing a woman. Or having your own children."

"Children with the same name as I?" He asked. "Snow. I don't think that would be a very good family name. My point is, Raina, why bring more Snow's into the world when you and I are already burdened with such weight?" He continues. "This is my life to live, Raina. I know what I want. You need to decide what you will do."

❆

"RAINA, you have to come to the courtyard!" Arya's excited voice declared with glee as she burst into Raina's chambers the next day. That day had been slow, considering that Jon and the rest of the boys had been tugged along to attend an execution by their Lord father. As far she was aware, it was a deserter from the Watch. It normally was. She'd hoped deep down as she watched Jon and the rest of them leave on their horses that her brother's decision to take the Black would churn and turn into some unattractive to him. She knew the chances were slim, but she could only hope.

"What is it?" She asked her younger sister as she was being tugged to her feet. She'd been working on a piece of embroidery before the fiery little girl has burst through her door.

"Father's returned and they've brought along direwolves!" Arya shrieked happily.

The thought of such a thing being true was unlikely, but Raina went along with it as Arya dragged her out of the room and down the hall. At some points, she was forced to jog in order to keep up with her littlest sister.

When they finally broke into the muddy courtyard, they find their brothers and Stark men dismounting and leading horses away. Of all the moving bodies, Raina was able to pick out the distinct mop of black curls moving around a grey palfrey. They obviously belonged Jon.

As she and Arya met Jon, she was astonished to see him holding an actual dire-wolf pup, just as Arya had said. With a pelt as white as snow and eyes red as rubies, there was no way it could have been any ordinary hound.

"We found them on the way home," he tells her as she leaves Arya's side to gently caress the little head of the animal. "Their mother had been killed by a stag, unfortunately. We found seven in total."

"See, I told you!" Arya chirped happily before running off to most likely claim her own pup.

As if I'm cue, a Stark soldier walks up with a black pup held by the scruff. It's little blue eyes look around while it's ears were pinned back. She takes the animal into her arms all while not able to tear her eyes away.

"I can't believe it," she states in disbelief. "Dire-wolves. This south of the Wall. And father permitted we keep them?"

Jon nodded. "He said we'd train them ourselves and care for them as well. If the worst was to come, bury them too. Yours is male."

"Did you decide on a name for yours?" She asked him, referring to the little white pup. It was smaller than hers surprisingly, which meant it must have been a runt. She could only think on how strange it was to see the sigil of their father's house in real life. The irony was almost too much.

"I thought the name Ghost would be appropriate," he replies. "He hasn't made a peep. White as snow too."

"I like it," Raina agrees. "Fits well, I dare say." She lifts her pup up into view to gaze at its icy blue. He was so little and so fluffy that Raina had a hard time placing a heroic name. "Now, a name is needed for this little one."

There had been a young boy visiting from Winterstown moons ago that had been very kind to Raina. He spoke to her respectfully, calling her 'm'lady' despite her not being noble. Everyone in the small town south of Winterfell knew of she and Jon's existence, of Lord Eddard's bastards, yet the boy was still so sweet. She could only think of the boys name and how she wanted to remember him.

"I think his name will be Stryder," she tells Jon, who nodded in agreement. She looks into the pup's blue eyes and smiles to herself. "In memory of an act of kindness."