THE sun had set and the Pogues had let go of any burdens and problems and renounced down into their purest form; reckless teens. 

After stopping at the Chateau for a quick change of clothes—Eden had to dig for one of her bathing suits, she'd cleared her entire drawer of spare clothes, given she hadn't expected to be back with her friends, and had managed to find one underneath John B.'s bed—the Pogues retrieved supplies for their small party.

JJ and Kiara had ran into the local liquor store with the Maybank's fake ID—the Bexley wasn't sure how it worked, given everyone knew JJ Maybank was not indeed twenty-one—and fifty dollars from Tom Bexley's wallet, lent by Eden and returned back to the HMS Pogue with cartons of alcohol.

John B. had rummaged through his room for a solid half hour to find his speaker—somehow it still had a charge—and had started blasting music loud enough for the whole marsh to tune in. 

And through all of it, Eden wore a smile upon her face. She hadn't smiled so much throughout the past month, but today made up for all of it.  The pure bliss of energy running through the Pogues was infectious; an all time high. They were in their own little bubble which no one could possibly pop. 

The hot tub was illuminated by the fairy lights strung around the giant tree. The previous memories Eden had of the hot-tub escaped her mind as JJ's playlist blasted through the yard, a new atmosphere of laughter and care-free taking over the tears and break-downs the hot-tub once had tied too it. 

Eden donned the bikini she'd managed to find with another stolen button down of John B.'s over it, and her hair was pulled back with a claw-clip she'd found as well. Next to her Kie, who wears a bikini she'd managed to find, and Sarah, who wears a leafy green button down of John B.'s,given she couldn't do much in water with her stitches.

"Uh-oh!" Kiara cheers, joint loosely hanging between her fingers as Pope, JJ, and John B. run towards the hot-tub, now in only shorts. 

"Ladies and gentlemen!" John B. announces as the three boys approach with beer cartons in hand. JJ is first to enter the hot-tub, setting down his carton onto the rim of it before hopping in. John B. kneels down and shot-guns the first beer of the night while Pope climbs around him into the illuminated waters.

"Here we fucking go!" Eden smiled as the Maybank boy handed her a beer. The blonde passes everyone—minus Kie, who offered her joint instead—a beer and the group began to shotgun together.

Once finished, John B. held his arms up in the air with a bright smile on his face. He was home, and while not physically free from Peterkin's murder, he was at a mental ease here with his friends. "Yeah! Whoo!"

JJ grabbed a new can of beer and squeezed it, causing the contents inside to spray over everyone. Eden was too happy to even care about the alcohol sticking to her hair—she was reminded of early summer, where JJ spent his morning standing at the tip of the HMS Pogue, using the air to spray alcohol into his mouth, though it never ended up there, always flying back to hit Kie and Eden's hair, or John B. and Pope's viewpoint.

The action was the start of a night full of care free—of drinking and smoking, of laughter and content. Of freedom from all problems for a few hours. 

Eden was laughing in between every inhale of a joint, passing it between JJ and herself. Sarah was giggling at the chaos that was the Pogues as the boys jumped in and out of the hot-tub, wearing beer cartons on top of their heads, or dancing in pairs of sunglasses to the beat of the music.

At some point in the night—Eden had stopped counting the time, mind a hazy buzz of alcohol and weed—Pope had started rapping to the beat of the song, everyone else mindlessly nodding their heads to the freestyle.

"I never made good grades in school. When I get out, I act like a fool." the Heyward free-styles. Eden isn't really sure what's going on, but she nods her head to the boy's words nonetheless. "They say I come in the party and cause a commotion. I'm smooth, yeah, call me lotion."

The Bexley nods her head at the Heyward, passing her joint over to JJ. "Not bad, Bubs."

JJ takes an inhale of the joint before leaning against the side of the hot-tub, lazily commenting, "Do it, Pope. Just like the good Lord intended."

"It was way too genuine." Sarah laughed loudly.

"Oh, come on! Give me...give me that shit! Give me it!"

"Ah!" Pope's voice rises as he waded through the water, coming over to the Maybank and wrapping his arms around the boys bare shoulders, pressing a kiss to his neck. Eden let's out a small laugh and takes the joint back from the Maybank's fingers, bringing it to her own lips again.

After a good hour or so in the hot-tub, the group moves over to the bonfire John B. had set up, all collapsing into folding chairs. JJ and Pope stand in front of everyone, trying to push the other off balance by their shoulders. 

"Get it, Pope!" Sarah cheers, a giggling mess upon the grass as she watches the two playfully fight. Eden is situated next to Kiara in a folding chair, enjoying the atmosphere the Pogues provided, joint relaxed between her fingers—as one had been for majority of the night.

JJ and Pope each took turns pushing each other upon the shoulder, trying to see who'd loose balance first—which wouldn't be entirely difficult, given the amount of alcohol and weed running through their systems. 

The Maybank pushes Pope and the Heyward slightly leans backwards before returning, "Yes! Yeah!"

"Okay!" JJ says before the two boys begin to tackle one another, arms wrapped around each other as they continue to try and knock each other down. "Ah! Good, good, good, good, good! Get on the leg! Oh!" The Heyward sweeps his leg under JJ's, causing the blonde to fall back. The two boys end up on the grass with Pope on top of the blonde.

John B. comments, "Pope with the single leg sweep."

"You've got a new technique now." JJ states as Pope raises his arms in victory over the boy.

Sarah laughs, "Oh no! No!"

"When did you start wrestling?" the Routledge comments towards Pope as the boy stands up. 

"I dunno." Pope shrugs breathlessly. Sarah is hysterically laughing upon the grass and the Heyward grabs his shirt from the back of a folding chair. Turning around with wobbly legs, he throws his arms up again, "I'm done. I'm outta here."

"Did you have too many beers?" John B. teases in a higher pitched and proper sounding British accent. 

JJ asks, "You want a round two?"

"Yeah, I think I'll take my losses." Pope replies.

Kiara slowly rises to her feet, making eye contact with Eden for a split second before she began to walk after the Heyward boy, clutching her bright green shirt.

Eden's eyes narrow at the action and she dramatically scoffs, "Kiara Carrera!"

"Really!?" Sarah gapes, mouth upturned into a knowing smile.

"Oh yeah." JJ snorts before looking back at the two teens walking away together, adding on to the teasing with a quick, "Way to be discreet!"

Eden gives another eye roll—she knows what she's questioning Kiara about tomorrow. 

"I leave, and this is what happens." John B. shakes his head, looking between JJ and Eden.

"I don't think I hear you blaming me for that, John Booker Routledge." The Bexley sends him a playful glare—he wasn't truly blaming anyone for the breakage of the no Pogue on Pogue macking rule. "You kissed Kiara in August, the rule has been broken ever since."

"I'm just saying." John B. raises one hand in defense before grabbing his beer can, slightly frowning when he feels no weight within the can, signaling it was empty. "Uh-oh. Your boy's out. Beer time." The boy stands up to retrieve another can.

Eden picked up her own can and swirled it around, noting the fact that she was almost empty too. "Would you be ever so kind and fetch me another one while you're over there?"

"God gave you legs for a reason, Eden." John B. replies with a shit-eating grin before beginning to walk towards the cooler to retrieve a beer for himself.

"He also gave me fingers for a reason." Eden raises her middle finger to his back with an eye roll before getting up with a small groan.  Handing her joint over to JJ—who was currently arguing with Sarah over how it was his fault Kiara and Pope were now together—she followed after her best friend to retrieve a drink.

Eden was quick to catch up with her friend, and the two teens walked over to the tree where the cooler was sitting. John B. opened up the item, retrieving two beers from the slightly melted ice, handing one over to his best friend.

The Bexley gave a sarcastic smile, "Now you decide to be nice?"

"I don't know why we let you get high. You just get snappy with......" The boy's breath hitches in his throat as his eyes catch hold of the wording engraved upon the tree in front of him. ".....me."

Eden meets his gaze upon the headstone the Pogues had made for him after he died.

2003—2020

JOHN B. ROUTLEDGE

P4L

The air quickly grew heavy, and John B. felt utterly sober at the thought of how hard it must have been for his friends the past few weeks—he'd left them all, made them endure grief, and blame, and tears, made them think he was dead. 

And now, looking over at Eden, he felt even worse. He could see the way she slightly tensed at the monument, like it brought her pain just staring at the thing and knew that he'd left her in shambles—he knew that he'd left her with her mother, without someone she felt comfortable truly breaking down in front of. He knew that he was her brother, and he'd disappeared from the world without any note or anything as a goodbye.

"Sarah had a funeral, but, uh, we weren't allowed inside of it." Eden mutters, toying around with one the bracelets on her wrists—it was a nervous tic she'd picked up over the years. "And I wanted to pay for everything  to give you one, believe me, but my mom didn't want to waste money on something only a few people were gonna go too. So, we made do with what we had."

"That's okay—"

"No, John, it's not!" Eden suddenly snaps. She notices the way John B.'s lips find themselves in a thin line, and feels bad for the way she'd snapped, but she can't help it. Her body had been so prone to holding in her emotion for the past week, gotten so prone to telling people she was fine when she wasn't, that hearing John B. say that his shitty burial was okay, broke her. Nothing was really okay. 

"Nothing about this past month has been okay, at all." the Bexley states through a weak voice. She doesn't know why she's getting emotional—God, why was she getting emotional? She wants to stop but she can't stop herself as her mouth begins to ramble, "You and Sarah die, and then not only can I not go to Sarah's burial, but I can't even give you a proper fucking send-off. We don't have a body, we don't have a casket, just a few fucking bracelets and bandanna's—"

"Eden, it's okay—"

"It's not fucking okay!" Eden cries out again, starting to break down in front of her friend. "You deserve so much more than a few items! You mean more to me than a few fucking items." She takes in a small breath before proceeding, "And then, after everything, I find out you're alive and I was so happy to know that my best friend wasn't gone for good. But of course, everything goes to shit! Pope's shitty camera breaks, Shoupe won't listen, Limbrey turns out to be a giant scam. So, we didn't clear your name—I didn't clear your name. I failed you and the one fucking job you asked." Tears begin to fall down Eden's cheeks; she's simply breaking. "And as if I don't feel shit already, I find out my own mother back-stabbed me. My mother. But I can't let anything out because you guys are back, and everything should be okay now. I should be okay now—"

Eden's cut off as her friend pulls her into a tight embrace. 

That's the final straw for her because Eden just starts to cry. 

John B. presses the girl to his chest and holds on to her. He feels bad that he'd left her like this, that he was the reason everything had gone to shit. Eden Bexley didn't break down often—she was prone to panic and anxiety attacks, sure. But she never just cried without something really being wrong—and when she did, it was because she was really at the end of her line. 

"It's okay. I'm here now—I'm not leaving you again. By choice or by fate." John B. holds on to his best friend, listening to her broken sobs. "I'm right here. Cry, scream, hit me—I don't care what you need to do. Let it all out because I'm not letting you hold all of that shit in anymore. You don't deserve that."

"I—I wrote you a letter." Eden manages to choke out. She slightly pulls away from her friend and wipes her eyes—she doesn't know if her mascara smeared, but she honestly doesn't care. Eden Bexley was far from perfect. 

John B.'s eyes furrowed. "A letter?"

"Yeah." Eden sniffles. She bends down and lays her knees upon the small dirt patch in front of the tree. She moves the cooler out of the way before putting her hands upon the ground. "Before we made this, my therapist—yes, you put me into grief therapy, asshole—said I should write a letter. Put all my emotions into it. A final goodbye, of sorts. So, I did and I buried it with the little box we filled with your shit."

Bluntly, John B. asks, "Can I read it?"

"You want to read it?"

John B. nods and kneels down onto the grass too.

Eden's slightly surprised he wants to read the thing. It was meant for dead him, not when he was kneeling beside her. It was full of feelings and emotions and she wasn't sure she really wanted him to read it but.....she wasn't going to say no. If John B. wanted to read the letter, she would let him read it—if he wanted to see how she felt, she'd allow him into her grief filled mind for a few seconds.

So, the Bexley started digging her fingers into the dirt to retrieve the letter she'd written. It took a few seconds—she didn't care about the dirt under her chipped nails, for once—but she soon found the note sitting atop the box of trinkets they'd buried, slightly crumbled and dirty from it's position underground.

Eden picks it up and hands it over. She wipes her nose with a slight laugh, "It's cringey as shit."

John B. takes the letter without another word and starts to read it.

The two sit in silence as the letter is read.

While it surely wasn't the best written letter, John B. could feel his best friend's grief wound in each letter. The letter was a testament to a friendship that had been broken unexpectedly, and the Routledge could see the tears expressed when writing it, the heartbreak that Eden had endured just by skimming over the crumpled paper.

He slightly smiled as he skimmed over the small detail of him sprinting to buy a bracelet from her—he still had the bracelet on his wrist to this day. He can't even picture where he'd be if he hadn't befriended her that day, (John B. was really John B. if he didn't have Eden a few feet in front or behind him).

But, as he skimmed further through the note, tears started to glaze over his eyes. 

John B. and Eden were John B. and Eden—they were partners in crime, best friends, platonic soulmates, brother and sister. Without one, the other was simply there. Ever since that day in elementary school, the two had been dependent on one another for multiple things and had a bond that no one else could replace—John B. had Sarah, but she wasn't Eden. Eden had JJ, Pope, and Kie, but they weren't John B.

The Routledge boy doesn't know why he didn't drown when the Phantom flipped, but he's thankful he didn't; that he was here now, next to the girl, reading this letter. Despite the fact that this letter was only a piece of what Eden was left to after his 'death', the boy can't help but feel sorry. Sorry that he was the reason she put a pause on her happy place of bracelet making, the reason that she lost her sense of sarcasm; lost her smile. The reason that she had to go to grief therapy. Sorry that he left; he knew he didn't have a choice, but he was sorry.

"I'm sorry, Eden." John B. sets the letter down and looks at his friend. His eyes are still glazed over with tears. "I'm just sorry."

Eden nods her head. "All that matters now is that you're back home, right?"

"Yeah." John B. wipes his eyes with a weak smile. He was grateful that their story wasn't over—that the final chapter had yet to be written for them and their friendship. 

The sound of feet against the ground is heard, and the two brunettes look back to see JJ approaching them with a weary expression. They both got back on their feet, John B. making eye contact with the blonde boy. 

"It's a cute art project." the Routledge boy comments, still emotional from the moment he'd just shared with Eden. His words came out weak, though his lips upturned for a split second. "Killed the tree, though."

JJ lightly chuckles, "Probably, yeah. Oops."

The two boys turned to one another in silence, gazes speaking more than words ever could, before the blonde pulls the Routledge into a tight embrace. "I freaking missed you, man."

Eden watched the embrace with a fond smile. Two brothers reunited again. 

The two embraced for a moment before JJ looked over at the Bexley, "Yo, Eden, c'mere. We can't just leave you out here hanging."

Eden doesn't hesitate before joining the embrace, feeling the boys' arms hanging over her shoulders. 

Despite all the grief, anger, and tears; all the times she'd been tested over the past month....she'd do it all again for this outcome. For the feeling of her best friends' arms around her, the warmth of the bonfire signaling people were here once again, the giggling of teenagers signaling they were happy.

It was all worth it.

mara's misc!

this books called summertime sadness for a reason, what can i say???

nah but i apologize for the sadness in this chapter. target mvybanksss, she's the one who gave me the idea to have john b read the letter eden wrote. i just went along with it bc believe it or not, kensie actually has some pretty good ideas.

in other news, happy birthday to summertime sadness!!!!!!! 

my baby is a year old and it's crazy to think that a year ago today, i was writing for the first episode, creating the eden bexley we know and stan today. this book is sm to write and honestly where most of my motivation goes. also where i met the lovely kensie (no summertime = no kensie and mara = no tidal= sadness. equation of a lifetime).

feeling like a proud mother when it comes to her first bday tbh

it's also crazy to think that only a year ago did i become an obx fan?? like a year ago i had no idea what this show was about??? 

next chapter ain't gonna be much prettier bc of my favorite people rafe and barry and eden is gonna have a little little moment because i feel like it (only kensie knows)

hope you enjoyed <3 see you back with chapter 40