I'm really sorry that I haven't updated this in a while. I felt like you guys should know how I've been and I've been putting it off for a while now. I didn't know how to word it but after sorting out my feelings , I think I can talk about it.

So the divorce between my parents wasn't graceful at all and to this day my dad is still making it hard on my mom when she did nothing wrong to him. He always finds some bullshit excuse as to why he's in the right and why everyone else is wrong no matter how small the issue was. Because of midterms happening before winter break , I didn't have therapy for a whole week along with the additional four. It made me feel so stressed out because my school therapists are the only therapists I am currently seeing. We'll call them Miss N and Miss M.

N and M have their schedules to deal with and I get that but because of money shortages in my family , seeing a therapist outside of school is going to be a challenge. Plus , I have to hold my tongue on certain issues because saying too much will expose my dad , sure , but because we all rely on him financially , the family will be dragged under. It hurts to think about it because he put me in a position where I can't get help even if I wanted to. I won't say more than that because I already talked it out with some close friends and family so repeating it will do me no good.

After all , it's 2023 , and it's usually the time for change. Speaking of , I created my first spell jar ! Shocking , I know , I know. Bet your wondering why it took so long and the truth is I was scared. I didn't want to get into something , screw up and then screw myself or someone else over ( unless we're talking baneful magick here )

I have no idea what made me finally grow some balls , maybe it was my spiritual guides ? My deities ? Or my own will ? I'm not entirely sure but I'm grateful for it. I want to heal what has been broken and help others who have been hurt as well. The spell jar wasn't complicated , just a simple protection jar sealed with pink , purple , and red wax but to me , it feels so significant. For my first jar , it looks incredible ! It's at my dad's house currently but when I get home from school I'll post it.

It's getting a bit long and I have some books to write. I will try to update more since it was my new year's resolution to motivate myself to take care of myself and get things done but it isn't a guaranteed thing.