𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮✨

For most people, the night grants them comfort. Sleep provides them with solace, but I don't see eye to eye with those people.

As the night falls, my mind brims with trepidation and terror. The same sunset that everyone loves and enjoys makes me dread my existence. Thinking about it makes me feel the need to hide somewhere far away from my own mind. I use to think that it would eventually go away or stop. But after innumerable nights that I witnessed my sanity going downhill; I am willing to bet now, it is a part of me, not moving away an inch and that I deserve it.

The moon, might not show up in the sky for a few nights, But I, put up a brave facade every night; like an involuntary muscle forced into a habit, and get ready for bed knowing my fear will grip me by my throat, to choke me. Yet I close my eyes unarmed to face my worse nightmare.

Another such night calls for my attention. The hair on every surface of my body stands tall like trained soldiers, unarmed but with determination to try and eliminate the threat posed on their territory.

It feels like being in between a rock and a hard place. There is absolutely no escape. I stayed up so many nights trying to figure out where did I go wrong? Why do I have to go through this?

Because you deserve it! Every bit of it.

Sadly I do, I do deserve it. But my stupid mind always seeks comfort even if there is none. Hope is the bridge that makes us want to keep going, even if it's hanging by its last thread. It provides us with the motivation that helps us to thrive. Even when the result is zero.

One more night and maybe it will go away.
Maybe I won't have to deal with it again.

Chanting that to myself I get under the covers. As my head comes in contact with the fluffed pillow I feel my eyelids droop in an instant.

I silently pray for a dreamless slumber.

But little did i know that the reality was much more horrific then the dream itself.

Did you ever hear a book falling off the table? It's like a loud 'thud' right? Well, that's the exact sound my ears could perceive multiplied five times. That's what it took for me to sit upon my bed.

My feet touch the carpeted floor, not surprised by the familiarity. My hesitant feet walked at a slow pace, the staircase at my point of vision. My brain is on high alert. My pupils dilated helping the rod cells in my retina scrutinize the dark surrounding.

From all the continuous thuds and dips my ears can capture, it was pretty obvious that whatever it is, isn't aware of my activity.

Wait! What if it's a thief and they attack me? I am completely unarmed.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Jade! Safety first!!

My eyes scan around landing on an old tennis racket down the stairs, near the garage door. I armed myself with it trying to make no noise in the process.

This would have to work!

Trying to hold my breath and be completely inaudible, my shaky legs carry me down the stairs. By the time I am at the base of the stairway my eyes have adjusted to the pitch darkness. It was now easier to navigate and look around for the source of the noises.

Taking a sharp turn towards the living room, my whole body froze. My feet refuse to move any further and my vision couldn't be trusted. The darkness resembled me yet I could see everything clear like the morning.

Standing there was a lady clad in all red, her blond hair a mess and her ruby red lipstick smudged, clearly indicating what was going on. If it was not obvious, then her company made it crystal clear. Because it's was non-other than my father who had his hands on her face. I instantly knew what was going on there. The way I felt now was not new yet it made me sick. It was like a fucking deja vu, a cassette on rewind over and over again.

How could he? He loves mom!!!

The racket in my hand makes contact with the ground, making a loud noise; that my brain could hardly register. My senses felt foreign in my own body.

It seemed to have startled the duo as they almost jumped and distant themselves from each other.

The lady was the first one to look in my direction confused while my father's head hung low. He was silent.

What could he possibly say after this? What possible explanation could he give? How could he cheat on mom? How?

The world spun around me and my vision saw red. Anger coursing through my body faster than venom on blood. It felt that the world was crashing down on me. Everything seemed so heavy. My anger was like the earth, while I was Atlas, trying to hold it with all my might. It irked me to see my father standing there, not meeting my eyes because his held nothing but guilt and shame.

Adrenaline washes all over my body while I stifled it to keep it under control.

Control. Control. Control...?

Like a pattern my brain started searching for memories; memories that would help me calm down and control myself. But my brain decided to settle on a specific set of past moments, of it not-bring-in-control. That was enough! Enough to make my anger retreat in its dark den giving way for fear to rise.

No! No way! Not another one!

My body was as motionless as a corpse and my mind was in a dilemma, unable to decide how to react. Tears threatened to spill out and my body as if having it's own mind turned around to retreat to find comfort.

I ran my way up the stairs not looking anywhere, stinging pain erupting from my left elbow. My legs took me to my room to seek comfort but none was found. Closing my door with a loud bang I fall on the floor, unable to move anymore. Tired. Dejected.

Why does everything go wrong with me?

The tears that were previously threatening to spill, is now flowing down my face like an endless stream. My surrounding was dark and cold, a striking resemblance of my life.

Been sitting there for I don't know how long, the loud sobs subsided, my face now dry; not a hint of emotions. Sleep was now calling me to seek its comfort and like a disciplined child, my eyes threatening to close. Failing to stifle my yawns, I let sleep instantly take over my restless mind.

***

I was somehow in the middle of a room full of people. People I was familiar with but felt so foreign.

"Do you think looking like 'that' was going to keep me with you? " Laughter filled my ears but all I felt was hurt. My mind couldn't believe what my eyes just witnessed and my ears just heard.

"You are so stupid! It's a shame I thought you were smart." The laughing continues.
I try to hold myself together, deciding I don't want to be here one second more. My eyes look for the door and my feet move in that direction.

I was suddenly held back and shoved somewhere hard. My mouth echoed the sound of agony from the sudden contact. " Where do you think you are going?"

"Let me go! " I shrieked, which came out more like a whimper. Hands grabbing me and pinning me down.

" I do deserve some gift you know? for bearing with you. "

More hands try to grab me and my face moving closer. I try to throw my hands and exert force against the grabbing hands. While tears were endlessly flowing down my face.

When I open my eyes I see nothing. Ebbs of darkness around me while my pupils dilate to recognize the surrounding. My breathing still hiked.

"Calm down, calm down! It's okay, we can deal with this. I'm right here."

Low soothing whispers flooded my ears. A small smile broke into my face, recognizing the voice.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness, as I look around for the source of the voice. Looking forward my vision captures a blinding light. The illumination forces my eyes to shutter down the eyelids.

A horrible screeching sound gets picked up by my ears, and a force was exerted on my stomach and an unbearable pain took over my body. Bringing me into the world of complete darkness.

___________________________________________

Hey! I hope you are doing good.
I'm your author, Koo.

So this is the very first chapter and  I had much fun writing it. And I hope you have much fun reading it too. It would mean the world to me if you vote for me by clicking on the star below!

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The next chapter will be here soon. I hope you wait ✨