- Rick's POV -

The early morning sunlight streams across Cass's face as she snores softly, her expression completely relaxed in her sound sleep. As I stare down at her, my chest aches with overwhelming emotion.

I still can't believe I'm here with her, in the bed we share, waking up in a safe place. This has been all I wanted for so long.

Last night after Cass broke down in front of me, her words ripping through me like bullets, we talked for hours.

Being able to reassure her, comfort her, and make her realize there is nothing I want more than to be with her was amazing. Seeing the moment as relief and happiness broke across her stunning features is something I'll remember for a long time.

We spent the night in my room as Cass has come to the conclusion that my bed is more comfortable with no arguments from me. Our voices were low and overlapping as we quietly and candidly talked about how we felt about each other.

Lori and I's fights before the turn would stem from my inability to talk about my feelings. Maybe it's because I've changed a lot since then, but I don't have that issue with Cass. All I want to do is tell her every detail of how I feel about her.

And I came to learn that the only reason Cass dated that fuckhead Spencer was to get over me. That was satisfying as hell. Knowing the whole time I was watching them with overwhelming jealousy, wanting nothing more than to be with her, she wanted me too. Cass was equally shocked yet pleased to learn how much I pined after her during those days.

Reaching out now, my fingers gently brush away a strand of her copper hair, ignited by the warm rays of sunlight, and tuck it behind her ear to show off her face. So beautiful. Cass utters a small noise, her face crumpled with annoyance, before burrowing into the pillow more.

God, I love her so much.

But if I keep staring at her it's going to become very difficult to fight the urge to kiss her, effectively waking her up. And I could use a shower.

So very carefully, I untangle myself from the sheets and gingerly get off the bed. Luckily Cass doesn't stir too much, only lightly grunting before settling back down, making a smile of amusement quirk at my lips.

After one more quick and greedy look at her, I walk into the bathroom and close the door carefully behind me, not being able to help the smile on my face.

The hot shower water pounding against my skin is a relief.

While spending hours with Cass last night was incredible, being able to reassure her fears while sharing some of my own, facing the rest of the day ahead only brings me uneasiness.

This new place and these strange people only fill me with dread. Thinking Terminus could have been a safe place for us just to then nearly get slaughtered to be eaten has resulted in just a bit of trust issues on my end.

Unlike other members of my family, I'm finding it extremely difficult to trust it here.

And I have to tell Cass the truth about me seeing Jessie yesterday. I couldn't face it last night, Cass seemed so happy after we resolved everything between us. I know once I tell her the truth, she's going to be overwhelmed with guilt given her past and proneness of blaming herself.

Exhaling slowly, I duck my head, letting the hot water pound against the tense muscles on my upper back, easing the tight stress coiling within them.

I just feel- tense. Cass and I didn't do anything apart from talking and to be completely honest, I wouldn't change that. It wasn't what we needed.

We had a great night of revealing embarrassing truths, speaking freely, and spending a good amount of time chuckling at how stupid we've been. I wouldn't want to change it in any way.

But... I'm still a man. And being around Cass for that long without release after experiencing being with her is... hard, for lack of a better word. The way we felt, together, is still imprinted clearly in my mind, only making the unwound tension worse.

Before I can contemplate this for another minute, the shower door clanging loudly behind me makes me jump, my heartbeat lurching.

Turning around quickly, I blink in shock as Cass joins me in the shower, smiling sleepily. Swallowing thickly, I gape at her fully naked and divine body joining me in the shower, sending my heartbeat into overdrive.

"Morning, thought you could shower without me?" Cass questions me warmly, tilting her head to the side with a knowing grin on her face, her green eyes wrinkling with adoration.

How is she that beautiful after waking up?

"I didn't want to wake you," I inform Cass with an amused smile, my stomach fluttering with nerves and overwhelming desire, making her smile widen.

God, that smile. I think I'll spend the rest of my life trying to see it every day.

"Ah. Well, don't mind me," Cass shrugs nonchalantly as she grabs the bar of soap out of my hands.

I watch dumbly as Cass drags the soap over her exposed skin, leaving a trail of white suds behind. It's been over a day since I've seen all of her and now she's caressing every inch of that beautiful body, only reminding me of just how good she felt. How good we felt.

Cass lathers her breasts with soap, spreading the white suds around in tantalizing circles, making that burning desire pool in my abdomen flame with new fervor. I gulp, unable to stop watching her movements, feeling utterly frozen as I vividly remember how that delicate skin felt in my mouth.

That tension that has been tightly curling around my spine is beginning to constrict, red-hot heat laced along it. That familiar desire and hunger for Cass consume me as I continue to watch her simply wash her body. I'm already tormented by overwhelming attraction for her, but this?

God help me.

"Excuse me," Cass mumbles with a sly grin, maneuvering around me to get under the hot shower stream. I let out a muffled groan as her perfect, perfect, ass grazes my erection, sending a flurry of sparks up the nerves of my abdomen.

Stepping back to allow her to reach the shower head, I watch like an idiot as the hot water streams down Cass's body in rivets. One stream travels through the perfect valley of her breasts before trailing lower and lower... I can barely comprehend what's happening as Cass's hands start rubbing over her body again, one following that rivet all the way down.

I can't stop the groan that slips from my lips as I watch Cass begin to touch herself. Cass's delicate finger circles her rosebud clit as she sighs in the most seductive way. My erection is painfully hard at this point, straining against my body, desperate to feel her again.

"Do you like watching me touch myself?" Cass questions smoothly, turning her head to the side, a crafty smirk pulling at her blushed lips.

I nod, suddenly snapping out of whatever lust-filled daze I was in.

" Do you touch yourself often?" I ask Cass, my voice lowered as I slowly step toward her. Those green eyes light up at my participation.

"Yes, " Cass pants, and I immediately recognize the lilted desperation in her voice. It's intoxicating.

With that one word from her, I stop fighting against the incredible urge to touch her. My quick hands slide over Cass's wet skin, adoring how she leans into my touch and the slight sigh of relief that falls from her lips. One of my hands grasps that wonderful asscheek of hers while the other pays attention to one of her perfect breasts. The pad of my finger bushes over her nipple, making her shiver delightfully.

"What do you think about, when you touch yourself?" I ask Cass lowly, looking down at her beautiful eyes dilated nearly to the point of being completely black.

"You," Cass breathes quickly without hesitation as she searches my eyes, intense relief and satisfaction surging through my body at that one word. I sigh with satisfaction, the image of her touching herself while thinking about me in a million different scenarios flashing through my mind.

"It's always been you," Cass adds through her heavy breathing, her face flushed and eyes glazed with lust as she gazes up at me.

I growl with approval, capturing those plump lips with mine again, desperate to taste her, making a moan rise up in her throat. Cass grips my biceps tightly as if she'll fall down without me right here, filling me with pride. Our bodies slot together perfectly, the sensation partly satisfying my deep need for her.

I realize Cass has stopped fingering herself, so I take the honor into my own hands.

The hand that was on her asscheek is now working on her sweet wet pussy, making Cass gasp into my mouth. Feeling her again, touching her intimately like this, is unbelievable yet amazing.

I pause our make-out session to trail kisses around and down that perfect neck, trying my hardest not to leave visible marks behind as Cass requested. Her whimpers fill my ears, a sound I had once only fantasized about hearing, sending bolts of arousal through my nervous system. I kiss my way down to Cass's breasts, before dragging my teeth over her hard nipple, earning a delectable moan. I shush her, reminding her we're not home alone.

Cass's teeth bit down on her lower lip roughly to stop herself from crying out as I suck on her breast, leaving a sizable hickey that no one but me will be able to find while simultaneously fingering her.

Cass grasps my shoulders tightly, leaning her head back in pleasure, beautiful erotic sounds falling from her mouth. Her body suddenly shudders against me, and I know she's coming. Already. I try not to feel too much pride in my chest at that fact.

"Rick," Cass whimpers my name, sighing with contentment as she climaxes. For me. I will never get over that.

I quickly drop down and duck my head, not being able to fight the urge to lick her clean. Her now-familiar tangy taste meets my tongue as I all but devour her soaked cunt, making her let out a shuddering gasp, her grip on my shoulders getting tighter. Her grip is iron-tight on my muscles, nearly becoming painful. But there's no way in hell I would want to be anywhere but here.

After feeling that I've sufficiently cleaned her off, I stand back up with a smile, satisfied with Cass's completely pleasured expression. Good.

Leaning in, I kiss Cass slowly, not being able to get enough of her. She hums against the kiss with contentment, filling my heart with tenderness because Cassandra damn Adams is kissing me back. And I can kiss her whenever I want. Because she wants that.

Cass stiffens when my erection bumps against her lower stomach, making me wince. I had forgotten about my own situation, too caught up in pleasing her, making her feel incredible.

I feel worried for a moment before I nearly faint at the incredible sensation of her warm hand wrapping around my length.

Slightly surprised, I look down at Cass's flushed face as she slowly moves her hand up the base of my length. Her thumb circles the tip, sending fireworks of pleasure through my body, making me let out a hiss at the sensation.

"Cass," I sigh, but she brings her forefinger up to my lips, shushing me. I clench my jaw, trying to contain myself. It's pretty damn difficult trying to concentrate with her hand on me, pleasuring me like this.

Cass sinks to her knees, glancing up at me for permission. Like she would ever need it with me.

I let out a string of obscenities under my breath as I take in the sight of Cass on her knees in front of me. Her copper hair, now soaking wet, splayed over her bare shoulders, those beautiful green eyes blinking up at me.

It's my fantasies coming to life- having her kneeling in front of me, naked, flushed after her orgasm, and waiting to take me in her mouth. I just nod wordlessly, not being able to form the words.

Cass licks her lips before taking me partly into her mouth. My eyes flutter closed at the sensation as I press my hand against the tiled wall for stability. Holy shit. She feels so fucking good.

Cass's tongue swirls before she slowly lowers herself down, all the way. I groan as quietly as I can, throwing my head back at the sensation of her warm mouth surrounding me, filling my nerves with satisfaction.

Holy Mother of God.

It's not only that Cass is incredible at this but that it's her giving me a blow job.

How will I ever get used to this?

I'm completely transfixed, my mind a cloud of desire and lust, until the two of us simultaneously jump out of our skin at the loud knock on the door. Luckily Cass doesn't bite down, to my relief.

"Hey Dad, have you seen Cass?" Carl's voice flows through the bathroom door, faint over the sound of the loud shower.

My stomach flips as I quickly look down in slight panic. Cass simply blinks up at me, her eyebrows raised, her lips still wrapped around me. My mouth parts and I need to look away from the erotic sight to form any words.

"Uh- no, I haven't. Why?" I call back, my voice strained, making a knowing smile pull around Cass's mouth. I close my eyes, trying to concentrate on the situation, not the woman I love wrapping her lips around me.

"Sophia has been looking for her!" Carl shouts. I glance back at Cass, who winks. Jesus.

"If come across Cass, I'll let her know!" I call back, praying that he will go away.

I love him, but Jesus Carl now is not the time.

Suddenly, an incredible vibrating sensation travels down my length, making me freeze. I look down with widened eyes, realizing that Cass is giggling.

When I replay my words, I realize why she finds it so amusing. I give Cass a sharp look of warning but her eyes just crinkle with amusement, clearly enjoying herself.

"Okay, I'll go check the infirmary!" Carl shouts back before his footsteps fade away. A minute later, the sound of the front door slamming shut echoes all the way up to the bathroom.

I look back at Cass with relief, a slight smile pulling at my face at our situation. Her eyes twinkle with amusement, adoration consuming me at the sight. God, she's incredible.

My thoughts are instantly silenced by the incredible sensation of her sucking again. I let out a sharp exhale, pleasure searing across my lower abdomen along with my tingling nerves as they steadily build in intensity.

One of Cass's hands travels up my torso, caressing my abs, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Jesus Christ, I don't think I can hold on any longer.

"Cass-" I don't need to finish my sentence before she pats my stomach as a sign that it's okay. This woman will be the death of me.

My head falls back as the tingling sensations reach their peak and my orgasm tears through my lower body, my hips shuddering at the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and pleasure. Cass swallows quickly, making my eyes roll to the back of my head.

Cass stands up, beginning to wipe her mouth, but I grasp her wrist, needing to kiss her immediately. I relish the way Cass melts against me and my taste on her tongue. The simple caveman in me roars with pride that she swallowed.

"That was definitely the best blowjob I've ever gotten," I breathe with a slight grin as I pull from our kiss, making Cass smile proudly.

"Despite Carl interrupting?" Cass asks knowingly, tilting her head to the side, a smirk pulling at her lips.

"Yeah. That part was significantly less appreciated," I mutter in agreement as I reach past her to grab the shampoo.

"You have to admit that it was funny," Cass grins, making me chuckle, shaking my head and looking down. This woman is something else.

"I'm not admitting anything," I grin, making her roll her eyes as I pour a quarter-sized drop of shampoo into my hand.

"Turn around," I order Cass, placing the shampoo bottle on the corner of the shower.

Cass's eyebrow quirks up suggestively. "Already?" she jokes lowly before complying, shifting her perfect body around. I shake my head with a grin.

"Dirty-minded woman," I tsk, pretending to be disapproving as I rub my hands together, lathering up the shampoo. I'm about to scrub it into her scalp when I notice Cass's shoulders quivering, making my brows crease with confusion.

"Are you cold? We can turn up the heat." I offer, concerned. The water is hot enough already. I hope she's not sick.

I watch in confusion as Cass turns to face me, her eyebrows knitted together... fear in her eyes.

Fear.

Panic floods through me, my stomach wrenching painfully at that expression. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" I question her wildly with concern as I search her expression, my chest beginning to rise and fall quickly.

Cass just shakes her head, letting out a shuddering breath. "It's not you. I-It's me." She mutters warily, rubbing her temples and clenching her eyes closed tightly. Instantly relieved I didn't do something, I gingerly caress her shoulder, making her green eyes reluctantly meet mine.

"Talk to me," I plead with her quietly, making those beautiful eyes well with tears, her bottom lip trembling. My heart shatters in my chest, as all the worst scenarios fly through my mind.

"It's just... hard sometimes. I know you would never hurt me. I trust you implicitly, I need you to know that," Cass begins sincerely as she blinks past her tears to search my expression and see that I understand. I nod, overwhelming relief flooding through me.

"The thing is, my m-mind doesn't." Cass gulps. "Sometimes vulnerability, like standing with my back to you, sends me into fight or flight. My brain sets off alarm bells, preparing to be hurt." Cass reveals to me quietly, averting her gaze as if she should be ashamed, her cheeks reddening.

I close my eyes as a multitude of emotions slam into me. Intense guilt for not thinking better, searing rage for what that monster did to her, and pain that Cass is still affected by him to this day.

"I'm so sorry," I tell Cass sincerely, my eyebrows knit together with emotion, my voice hoarse. I will never be able to comprehend how that cruel bastard could ever want to hurt her.

Cass nods, her bottom lip quivering again, the shower water dripping down her face. Not being able to help it, I gently envelop Cass in my arms, pulling her body securely into mine. Cass sighs deeply as her body relaxes in my arms, the sensation alone filling me with relief that I can feel her this close to me and offer her comfort.  Her arms loop around my neck, the side of her face pressed against my chest.

"I promise you, there's nothing you could do that would ever end in you being hurt while you're with me," I assure her, making her nod into my shoulder. I caress the back of her head, my heart aching for her.

Cass gently pulls away, a bashful smile on her face. "I'm sorry-" She starts but I immediately shake my head.

"No. Don't you dare apologize." I order gently as I caress her cheek. Cass smiles broadly, her face lighting up, instantly filling me with relief as she leans into my hand.

"Thank you," Cass whispers, her voice gentle and quiet. The love I feel for this woman overwhelms me as I gaze down at her.

"Of course. If there's anything that makes you feel like that again, just stop me right away so we can talk about it. Okay?" I ask, searching her grateful expression.

"I got so lucky with you," Cass murmurs as she beams up at me. It blows my mind that she can think like that when I'm the luckiest man on earth.

"I thought we went over this before. I'm the lucky one here" I inform her, making those green eyes roll playfully.

"Does it always have to be a competition with you?" Cass questions fondly, and I grin.

"Of course. That's part of the deal." I assure her, making her laugh, the wonderful sound echoing in the shower. My chest suddenly feels a lot lighter, with only a little piece of that sadness for her lingering. A piece I'm not sure will ever go away.

Despite this, I grin with adoration, watching as Cass gazes up at me for a moment, a warm smile on her face. Then she abruptly turns around, her back to me. I blink slightly in surprise.

"Go on then, shampoo me," Cass orders, making me grin.

"Yes ma'am," I respond, not wasting any time to get to work.  I apply the shampoo to her hair, working my fingers into her scalp.

Cass lets out a groan, leaning into my touch. I smile, completely covering all parts of her impressive collection of hair with shampoo. "Feel good?" I ask, and she hums in agreement, adoration fluttering through me at the sound.

"Okay rinse," I tell her once I've finished, drawing my hands away to get more shampoo for me.

"Fine," Cass sighs dramatically, before stepping back under the shower head and rinsing off her shampoo. Still grinning, my eyes flit up to watch, catching sight of her naked body again, not being able to take my eyes away from her distracting frame. She leans her head back under the stream of water, exposing and elongating her captivating body.

God, she's so attractive. I don't know how I got this lucky. This brilliant surgeon with the kindest soul I've encountered, the most gorgeous face I have ever seen, and the body of an angel, is for some unknown reason attracted to me too.

I work the shampoo into my own scalp, feeling extremely grateful, not only for the incredible woman in front of me but that we have this. That we found a place where we are safe enough to do mundane things like shower together.

Cass, her hair now washed clean of shampoo, opens her eyes to meet mine, smirking as she catches me staring. An embarrassed blush flushes my cheeks, feeling like a peeping tom.

"Like what you see, Grimes?" Cass questions me knowingly, her eyes brows raised expectantly. The corner of her mouth is curled with the same satisfied smirk I saw last night when I told her just how much I pined after her back at the prison.

"Oh, yes. Very very much," I respond coolly, taking a step toward her. Cass grins, bringing her hands up to massage my shampoo into my scalp like I did for her.

My eyes flutter closed. Damn, she's right, this does feel good.

"You have great hair, don't ever cut it. Or God forbid- buzz it." Cass orders seriously, making me snort, cracking open one of my eyes.

"Really?" I ask dryly, surprised that she would even notice it.

"Yes, you idiot." Cass sighs as if it's obvious. "Why do you think I run my hands through it when we kiss? I love your curls," She tells me, letting go of my head, seeming satisfied with the shampoo distribution. My heart flutters at her compliments, suddenly feeling grateful for the curls that usually annoy me.

"Okay, I won't cut it, I promise," I assure her with an amused expression.

"Good. Now rinse," Cass orders with satisfaction so I comply with a grin, maneuvering around her in the shower.

I freeze at the abrupt slap on my left asscheek. I slowly turn around, stunned, to see Cass's grinning face, clearly pleased with herself.

"What. Was that?" I question Cass slowly, my eyes wide, still in disbelief.

"What? You have a cute butt," Cass shrugs casually, that beautiful grin taking over her face as she bites her lip, her eyes twinkling. I shake my head in both amusement and amazement at the woman in front of me as I back under the shower stream.

"Slapping it was a bit unnecessary," I inform her with raised eyebrows.

Cass just grins at me, her arms crossed, pushing her breasts up ever so slightly. Jesus.

"Oh come on Richard, don't be such a prude," Cass jokes, those intense eyes boring into mine. Shaking my head, I reach behind me, turning off the water once my hair is shampoo-free.

"I'm going to get you back for that," I warn her, only making her grin grow more mischievous, silently daring me.

I reach past the shower door, handing a towel to Cass before grabbing my own. I dry my hair roughly before wrapping the towel around my hips. I glance over to see Cass covering her body with her own towel, and I'm taken back to the first time I saw her like this.

Cass suddenly smiles. "D'you remember the time-"

"-You bumped into me in your towel, the first day we met?" I finish for her, a smile already growing on my face. Cass grins.

"That actually wasn't the time I was thinking about. But I forgot about that!" Cass enthuses, chuckling to herself as she wrings out her hair, making the water splatter against the shower tile.

"I definitely did not forget," I grin, stepping out of the shower. All the times I thought back to the feeling of her wet skin on my hands, the sight of her unique copper hair for the first time, and her enticing cleavage pushed up by her towel. Just seeing her. I will never forget that.

"Hmm. What do you mean by that?" Cass asks teasingly, following me out of the shower with the aid of my guiding hand, a cheeky smile pulled across that beautiful face.

Walking across the room, I turn and lean against the bathroom counter, crossing my arms and meeting her expectant gaze.

"That was the first time I saw you. Mud-free in a towel with your cleavage practically thrown in my face," I grin, making a bashful expression fall across her face, her cheeks reddening.

Cass suddenly smirks, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. "Wow. You totally objectified me." She remarks, shaking her head and pursing her lips to stop herself from smiling.

I chuckle, rolling my tongue on the inside of my cheek. "I'm a simple man. And you did the same thing to me at the prison," I accuse, taking a leap of faith that I hadn't imagined her checking me out all that time ago.

"I'm a simple woman," Cass shrugs cheekily, her blush heavy on her cheeks, making satisfaction flower in my chest.

So I wasn't imagining it.

"There was something about you at that moment, despite the fact you were right of the shower, it was like... you just oozed sex appeal, I'm not sure why," Cass trails off thoughtfully, a strange expression on her face.

Realization falls over me, remembering what I had been doing moments before I opened that shower curtain and we came face to face.

"What?" Cass questions, crossing her hands across her chest, those intelligent eyes studying me.

I shake my head. There's no way I can tell her.

"It doesn't matter," I dismiss nonchalantly, clearing my throat and averting my gaze. Cass raises her eyebrows expectantly, wordlessly ordering me to tell her.

I cave, not being able to say no to her. "That time in the showers... I had just finished-" I begin, trying to find a way to explain it eloquently.

I don't need to as Cass suddenly grins, her eyes lighting up with delight. "Oh my god, you-" her grin widens. "Right before I came in?" She asks with amazement, making my cheeks flush as I nod sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck.

"Yeah, so it was quite the shock seeing you right after," I say, my chest tight with nerves and embarrassment.

"Because you had been... thinking about me?" Cass questions, hope laced in her suddenly faint voice. My heart flutters that she would hope about that.

I simply nod, making her smile widen before she chuckles, her skin flushed. "Well. We're similar than I thought," She muses, looking down, clearly remembering something.

What?

I raise an eyebrow expectantly, my heart pounding in my chest. Cass sees my expression, and since I just revealed something about myself, she gives in, knowing it's only fair.

"Okay, fine! One time back at the farm, I was in my tent touching myself, imagining a pretty hot scenario with imaginary-you when real-you interrupted," Cass explains quickly, not looking at me, her cheeks flushed. Hot desire flickers through me hearing her say those words.

"Wow," I murmur, suddenly struck that she had wanted me all that time ago. Despite the fact that she's told me that before, actually hearing it continues to send vivid surprise through me.

Cass chuckles warmly. "Yeah, I was panicking that you would somehow know, then-" She cuts herself off suddenly, her playful smile gone.

"Then... what?" I ask, my brows knitting together.

"I walked out and saw you- um. Kissing Lori," Cass answers quietly and quickly, looking down and shifting on her feet. My heart sinks.

I push off the counter, needing to wrap her in a warm hug, to reassure her suddenly crestfallen expression. "I'm sorry," I tell her as she hugs me back.

"Don't be sorry! You were with your wife, I was the one out of line- wanting to break up a happy marriage," Cass mutters, muffled against my skin as she shakes her head.

I sigh. "It wasn't a happy marriage," I tell Cass calmly, making her stop before pulling away a bit to look up at me.

"I know, the whole thing with Shane-"

"-Not just that," I interrupt, making her eyebrows raise slightly. "Before the turn, Lori was threatening me with divorce," I reveal, making Cass's mouth part in shock.

"But Lori was fighting to stay with you despite-" Cass begins, her eyebrows furrowed as she tries to put it together.

"We tried because it was the end of the world. We needed to try. For Carl. And Judith," I explain, caressing Cass's arm softly.

Cass finally meets my gaze again.

"I know you beat yourself up about it, but trust me. We hadn't been happy for years before everything fell apart. And after... you know the rest," I conclude, watching as Cass blinks, digesting the information.

"I had always thought you two were happy," Cass mutters, blinking as she thinks deeply.

"We were. For a while. Then we weren't." I tell her simply, making Cass nod, finally meeting my gaze as she takes a deep breath.

My stomach twists with nerves before I finally force myself to do it.

"While we're revealing truths, I need to tell you something."

- Cass's POV -

Rick's change of tone, his voice twisted with dread, making nerves flutter in my abdomen.

I search his face. "What?" I ask breathlessly, my limbs suddenly tingling with worry.

"It's about Jessie." Rick states, looking down and clearing his throat. I don't say anything, patiently waiting for him to finish, my heartbeat suddenly thumping against my ribcage.

"I understand what it seemed like when you saw me leaving her place yesterday. I was only there to set the record straight about what happened at the party, that nothing else would happen between us. Then Jessie asked to talk to me about her husband," Rick explains gingerly, looking up, those piercing blue eyes searching my face.

I look back at him with a well-duh look making him quirk a smile for a second before shaking his head.

"No, not like that," Rick mutters, clearing his throat again. "Pete is abusive. She was asking me for help," Rick explains carefully, his eyebrows crinkled in the middle as his eyes search my face.

My stomach drops at the words leaving his mouth, suddenly feeling like the biggest asshole in human existence.

I pull away fully from Rick, my gut in knots as I falter backward, wrapping my arms around my torso. Rick lets me go, seeming worried as I bring my hand to my forehead in realization.

I've done it again. Villainized another woman because of my own childish jealousy.

"Cass, you didn't know," Rick's voice says softly. I shake my head, guilt overwhelming me.

Even after talking to him? I didn't notice? I couldn't tell?

The memory of his scabbed knuckles flashes through my mind, sending flicks of anger and disgust through me.

I feel sick to my stomach.

"I had no idea-" I begin with a shuddering breath, looking over at Rick with wide eyes. "A fter what I went through, I would've thought I could recognize it-" I breathe, my voice choking in my throat, my heart breaking for that woman.

And she was only ever nice to me. God, I'm an awful person.

"Cass. No one could have known. Don't beat yourself up about this." Rick urges me and I nod, taking a deep breath, trying to calm the horrible feelings twisting my gut.

"Hey," Rick says softly, wrapping me in another warm hug. I sigh into his chest, wrap my arms around him, and pull myself into his comforting arms.

Fully dressed and hair beginning to dry, I quickly kiss Rick goodbye before heading out to search for Sophia. If she sent Carl out to search for me she must need something important.

Emerging onto the street, I flinch at the bite of the chilly autumn air, wrapping my arms around myself in my black v-neck sweater. Smiling quickly at the passing people, my eyes scan the community, searching for a certain ginger teenager.

After some brief searching, I finally find Sophia waiting outside the infirmary for me. She's sitting on the steps of the building alone, her arms wrapped around her small frame, looking down.

Taking a deep breath, I force down the suffocating emotions about my own life and push forward with a smile.

"Hey Soph, Carl told me you were looking for me. What's up?" I question the teenage girl warmly, tilting my head to the side. Sophia looks up, tears streaked down her face.

My stomach drops at the sight, making me rush forward, quickly squatting down in front of her. "Oh God, what happened?" I ask softly, immediately pulling her forward for a comforting hug. Sophia leans into me, sniffling.

"It's boy stuff," Sophia mutters quietly. I pull away, my heart pounding as I search her expression. No one... hurt her, right?

"What stuff?" I ask calmly as Sophia glances around, her nervous brown eyes searching the street.

"Can we talk somewhere private?" Sophia requests with a gulp, her worried voice making my heart tighten. I glance around before nodding, getting to my feet with her, and leading her inside the thankfully emptied infirmary.

We walk into one of the private examination rooms. "So what's going on?" I question, shutting the door behind Sophia, my heart pounding as she plops down on the chair with a heavy sigh.

She pauses for a moment as my heartbeat continues to pound against my eardrums.

"What are you supposed to do when the person you like is interested in someone else?" Sophia asks quietly, averting her gaze and focusing on the floor, her cheeks reddened. I let out a breath of relief. Thank god.

"Soph, you can be straightforward with me," I remind her quietly as I gently sit down beside her. Sophia sighs again, scratching her arm.

"The other night at the sleepover, Carl wouldn't stop looking at this other girl, Enid. He kept smiling at her and laughing at her jokes. It was like I was invisible," Sophia mutters, her chin wobbling as she looks down at her clasped hands resting ontop of her jean skirt.

My eyes soften. I kind of assumed she had a crush on him. I, of all people, can't blame her for that. Theres something about Grimes men I suppose.

"I'm sorry Soph, that's the worst feeling," I tell her softly, knowing all too well. Sophia nods, her mouth pulled down in sadness. Pity courses through me for the poor girl, so I rub her back comfortingly.

Sophia turns to me. "You live with him and Rick, do you know if Carl likes Enid?" Soph questions me earnestly, her eyes searching mine with desperation.

"All I know is that during a brief period at the prison, he had a crush on me, but besides that, I have no idea. Sorry hon," I tell her gingerly, disappointed I couldn't help.

Sophia throws her hands up in exasperation, scoffing with disbelief.

"How am I supposed to compete with you?!" She demands incredulously and I can't help but chuckle.

"You're not competing with me Sophia, you know that. You're a beautiful girl and if Carl can't see that it's because he's a stupid boy," I inform her knowingly, making a smile quirk across her face before it drops once again.

"It's just... Enid and you are both so pretty and I'm not," Sophia mutters under her breath, looking down at her shoes, making a wall of her ginger hair shield her face. How can she think that?

"Sophia you are gorgeous. Are you kidding me? Your lovely brown eyes, those freckles, and your hair? You're very pretty Sophia. Don't ever think anything different," I tell her firmly, making her nod, a small smile on her face.

"Boys are stupid. I think Carl might have paid more attention to Enid because she's new. But at the end of the day, you're still his best friend." I remind Sophia, making her nod thoughtfully.

"He's just a silly boy. It sucks that we're stuck with them," I sigh dramatically, my heart warming seeing the smile reluctantly growing on Sophia's face.

"You're not stuck with stupid boys. At least you have men. They're not silly," Sophia counters, tilting her head to the side.

I bark out a laugh. "Oh trust me Soph, all men were boys once. No matter how tough they seem, they're still silly underneath," I grin.

"Really? Even men like Rick?" Sophia questions, her eyes widened.

"Oh. Especially Rick." I assure her with a grin, making Sophia giggle. I laugh too, enjoying the sweet woman-to-woman moment we're sharing.

That moment is quickly ruined.

A loud noise behind me makes Sophia and I jump. I whirl around to see Pete staring at us in the now-open doorway. His eyes are narrowed, the corners of his mouth downturned.

Pete's large frame takes up nearly the entire doorway, his dreadful existence immediately snatching the warm feeling in my chest and contorting it painfully. Goosebumps raise on my arms seeing the dark expression on his face, simmering anger beginning to spread throughout my body.

That fucking asshole.

"Sophia, go home." I order the teenage girl evenly, not breaking my glare on the abusive piece of shit in front of me.

"Cassie-" Sophia starts shakily but I just shake my head, still staring at him.

"Go find your mom, I'll be okay," I assure her calmly, glancing over at her concerned hazel eyes for a millisecond before focusing back on the shithead in front of me.

Sophia scrambles to her feet and darts past Pete, the front door closing behind her a few seconds after. A slight feeling of relief flickers through me that she's away from him.

"I thought I told you that I didn't appreciate you being in my office." Pete spits, making me clench my jaw in fury as I rise to my feet.

I realize why I immediately felt distaste when I first met him. I couldn't put my finger on it before but Pete reminds me of Phillip. The fake friendliness in the beginning, the manner in which he manipulates people, and the cold harshness in his soulless eyes.

How did I not put it together before?

"You don't have the right to dictate where I can or cannot go." I snap at Pete severely, making him scoff, shaking his head.

I get a strong whiff of liquor seeping off him, making me reel back in disgust. It's 9 am. And he's already drunk.

Phillip didn't always get drunk but he was at his worst when he did.

"If I didn't find you entirely aggravating and fucking stupid, I would say your determination is attractive." Pete spits, his eyes flicking up and down my body, making repulsion flood my senses.

"You're married, you piece of shit," I snap. Married to a wife he regularly beats, I remind myself, only making my anger worse.

It takes everything in me to not throw myself onto Pete and beat him to a pulp to see how he fucking likes it.

"So that's what's stopping you?" Pete questions, taking a step toward me, tilting his head to seem intimidating. After seeing Rick do the same move, Pete looks like a tantruming toddler in comparison.

Pete steps toward me and fighting against all my instincts, I don't let myself back up. I stand my ground, glaring up at him.

"I'll get torn apart by walkers before I have you touch me, you disgusting pig," I snarl angrily, making rage flash behind his eyes. His face scrunches with fury and he takes another intimidating step forward.

Despite my stubborn anger, I can't stop the fleeting feeling of fear wash over me. I have not forgotten what it felt like to have an abuser prowl toward me like a predator.

"Oh, you nurses are all the same. Just a bunch of sluts who think they deserve respect but really they're just begging to have their holes fil-"

Before he can finish his next disgusting word, I slap him, hard, across his face. His head snaps to the side, his cheek immediately bright red. My palm tingles painfully as I drop it and take a step backward, my chest heaving.

I don't have a second to react before Pete slams his large body into mine. The full force of this grown man's body colliding with mine knocks almost all of my breath from my lungs, leaving me coughing and gasping for air.

I yelp as Pete's grubby hands lift up my sweater, his reeking smell infiltrating my nostrils, a rancid mixture of bad breath and booze. Gasping with effort, I try to push him off me, tears springing to my eyes at how heavy he is, blinding panic sinking in.

Pete's vile hands painfully grab at my waist, quickly moving upward, the motion making bile rise up my throat as I continue to thrash against him. When his hands roughly grope my breasts, a wave of intense adrenaline surges through my veins. There's a loud rushing in my ears as my body finally gives me what I need to fight back.

Snarling through my now clenched teeth, I throw the six-foot-tall man off me, my limbs burning with exertion.

The man stumbles back and I rush forward to knee him harshly in the groin, leaping back before he can try to get me.

Pete doubles over with a loud groan, staggering before tumbling on his back clumsily, aided by the significant amount of alcohol that must be coursing through his body.

Heaving with disbelief, I spit on him on the ground and rip my shirt back down, my blood boiling.

"Count your fucking days. I don't tolerate abusive cowards like you anywhere near me or my family." I growl hoarsely through my heaving breaths, watching the look of disbelief flash across his stupid face.

Pete's mouth opens and closes in shock as he blinks up at me, not being able to comprehend that a woman just kicked him on his ass.

"Close your mouth. You look like a damn trout." I snap coldly before stalking past him so I don't do something worse. While I wouldn't regret it, Rick asked us to abide by the rules here. Getting kicked out is worse. 

When I round the corner to storm out of the building, I come face to face with Tara, looking at me with wide eyes, clearly having witnessed some of what just happened.

"Cass-" Tara starts with panic, staring at me with her widened eyes.

I just shake my head with warning before stalking past her, slamming the door behind me.

I need to talk to Deanna. No way in hell I'm letting this abusive dickhead stay here.

Fury rages within me as I storm down the road, my mission being the only thing on my mind, ignoring the lingering sensation of that asshole's hands on me. It's not long before I'm jogging up the steps of Deanna's house and banging loudly on her pretty door.

Reg pulls back their front door to stop my relentless pounding, blinking in shock at me seething on his doorstep.

I push past my like for the man, my rage barely contained.

"I need to talk to your wife. Now."

___

Reg is quiet on the armchair opposite me, as I sit on the leather couch breathing heavily through my vivid anger. He glances at me a few times, seeming worried but somehow understanding I don't want to talk to him about it.

"You wanted to see me?" Deanna abruptly asks, rounding the corner into the living room. I look up, my blood still boiling at my former interaction.

Quickly, I stand up and face her, my chest heaving. "Yes." I tell her firmly, surprise flashing behind her eyes at my tone. She glances at her husband sitting in the armchair to the side awkwardly.

"What's the matter?" Deanna questions me, her face hardened.

"Pete." I spit. "He needs to go. Be it out of the community or off the damn earth, I don't give a shit. As long as it happens Immediately." I demand hoarsely, barely containing my overwhelming anger as I clench my fists.

Deanna opens her mouth, glancing at her husband once again.

"Why do you say that?" Deanna asks, finally looking back at my seething frame, her blue eyes searching my expression.

"He's an abusive piece of shit. He beats his wife and maybe his kids too." I inform her sternly, my mouth turned down with disdain. Not to mention what he did to me.

Realization seems to wash over Deanna as she closes her mouth into a fine line.

But she doesn't look surprised...

Disgust crashes over me, so intense that I shake a staggering step backward and let out a shuddering exhale as I figure it out.

"You knew." I whisper hoarsely, not bothering to hide the revulsion on my anguished face as my stomach wrenches.

Deanna sighs deeply before nodding. "Yes." She confirms.

That one word sends outrage sparking through my veins, making me scoff in disbelief. Blinking rapidly, I think back, remembering how she immediately apologized for Pete, seeming regretful as if she knew exactly how he treated me. And when she sent Pete's message it was to protect me from what she knew he was capable of.

"Why." I seethe, trying to suppress the overwhelming rage as I glare at the wary woman in front of me.

"The greater good. We tried to separate him and Jessie before but it didn't work. And we can't just let him leave and lose our only surgeon." Deanna explains passionately, tilting her head to the side, squinting her eyes as she admits to letting an abuser go unhindered.

Shaking my head, I look away, swallowing back nausea.

"What has he done?" I ask quietly and calmly, staring out the window on the far wall, my breathing still labored with disbelief.

"Pardon?" Deanna's confused voice questions.

I turn and face her slowly, seeing her flinch under my fierce gaze. "What. Has he done to make the abuse his family goes through every day worth it?" I question harshly, breathing rapidly in and out of my nose to try to calm myself down.

Deanna blanches before nodding with a nervous gulp. "You're right. I understand what you're saying. But to risk going without a doctor in this world-"

"You won't be going without a doctor. You have a surgeon standing right in front of you." I interrupt, making Deanna blink in surprise. Her confused gase flits up and down my body, clearly not knowing if she should trust me.

"I mislead you to believe I was a nurse to protect myself. Reg can vouch for me and so can my entire family when I say I am a surgeon. I worked as a surgical resident specializing in pediatrics at Atlanta General, the number one hospital in Georgia. Carl is alive today because of me. Ask Tyreese about his arm. Ask Rick about his hand. They will all tell you the same thing." I inform Deanna, making her eyebrows raise, her eyes darting to her husband.

"Reg figured out I wasn't a nurse, he didn't know all of it." I interrupt before she can interrogate her innocent husband.

Deanna closes her mouth, looking away, clearly thinking deeply. I glance over at Reg watching both of us carefully, wariness behind his gaze.

I exhale steadily out of my nose, calming myself down a good amount so that I can talk to Deanna more calmly. Find a way to speak about this her way, and not the way we've been doing it.

"Think about it. Think about either risking the lives of Jessie and her boys daily or believing me and getting rid of that abusive asshole. I'll be at the infirmary, waiting for your decision." I announce sternly, glancing at her and her husband once in disgust before leaving.

I make it back to the infirmary quickly, happy to see the lack of Pete hanging around. With a heavy sigh, I plop down on a barstool in the kitchen and place my forehead in my hands, trying to collect myself.

The emotional whiplash I've experienced lately is becoming too much. I just want to see Rick, have him take me in his comforting arms, and make the anxiety and horror burning within me disappear. But I have no idea where he is and we still haven't told anyone about us. Dealing with having that conversation right now sounds like hell with my current state.

I thought I had left abuse far behind me when I shot Phillip in the face. I knew his memory would haunt my nightmares and on the off occasion I have one, he does.

Phillip was once the scariest thing I could imagine. He was fear.

But not anymore. Now it's the idea that my family could be hurt. Or that I could lose them. Lose the people I love dearly- that is what worries me.

And living in the same place as Pete does not ease that worry. It agitates it. Experiencing him attacking me as he did earlier has turned that worry into a festering sore, worsening with every second I spend in a community he is a part of.

Imagining him doing that to Beth, Sophia, or God forbid Judith-

I let out a shaking breath, clenching my eyes closed as I push the flashbacks, worry, and anxiety far down.

Just calm down. It's over now.

It's like I can hear my fears manifesting in real life. Like I can hear the distant screaming and shouting of my family members.

I pause, lifting my head and furrowing my brows. No...

That's real.

My heart plunges with dread, my stomach unpleasantly contorting at the distant chorus of shouting reaching my ears. Stumbling off the barstool in blind panic, I kick it behind me, my hands trembling with worry.

Pushing past all my own fears, I determinedly run toward the front door, my heartbeat racing. But before I can touch the gold handle, the door gets thrown open, making me lurch back in shock.

Rushing in are Glenn and Maggie, carrying Rick's slightly sagging body between them, heaving with effort as they try to walk into the building.

"Oh my god!" I cry, jumping forward to help share the burden of Rick's slouching body, my already wrenching stomach now twisting painfully at the sight of the man I love in this state.

"What the hell happened?" I demand hoarsely as the three of us heave Rick onto a patient bed.

Rick groans, clenching his eyes closed, his arm resting around his abdomen, slouching forward on the bed.

Glenn and Maggie, who stand behind where Rick sits on the side of the bed facing me, sigh.

"He got into a fight. With Pete." Maggie explains through her heavy breathing, making my eyes widen as I turn back to Rick.

"What?" I demand, searching his gaze furiously.

Rick cringes and looks away, his face contorted with what seems to be leftover rage.

"He was defending your honor," Glenn adds gingerly as if it would help.

Exhaling slowly, I glance back at Rick, raising my eyebrows expectantly, my hands on my hips.

"Tara told me what happened." Rick tells me quietly, his voice hoarse. Probably from shouting.

Embarrassment floods through me that Rick knows what Pete did. I nod, looking down, wishing that the ground could swallow me whole. Then I shake my head, sudden anger flooding through me.

"What were you thinking?" I demand roughly, my heart pounding, urging me to continue as I take in his wounds, my gaze flying over his body.

He has a cut face and bleeding nose, significantly bruised knuckles, and additional cuts on his forearms as if he got thrown through the windshield of a car.

Nausea is certainly curling in my gut now, so much that I have to fight the sudden feeling like I might faint, despite having seen Rick in much worse shape.

"I was thinking that the fucking asshole touched you- hurt you." Rick seethes, his face contorted with frustration, his blue eyes burning with fierce anger. He clenches his fists and closes his eyes like simply thinking about it brings him pain.

Shaking my head, I turn and fumble through the supplies of the medicine cabinet, retrieving everything I need. My hands tremble as the image of Rick being beaten by Pete flies through my mind.

I drop the needed supplies on the nearby table, making them clatter loudly, jolting my already fragile nerves.

"Is that glass?" I question evenly, trying my hardest to contain my anger as I stare at the numerous surface cuts on Rick's forearms and face.

Rick averts his gaze before nodding once, making me sigh. "Window." He mutters under his breath making me stop, sending him an incredulous look.

"You might want to check his stomach, he got some hits there," Maggie adds quietly, making me look over at her, slightly surprised. I forgot she was there, consumed in my cloud of worry.

Turning to Rick, I exhale slowly, trying and failing to contain the raging nerves bubbling under my skin. I pull his stupid constable windbreaker off his shoulders roughly, making Rick grunt in pain. I grit my teeth as I remove it and throw it across the room before deftly unbuttoning his shirt.

When I reveal his abdomen by pushing either end of his button-up to the side, my stomach wrenches with queasiness at the sight of the deep bruises tainting his beautiful skin. I pause, staring at the blend of red and purple, letting out just one shuddering exhale.

"He could have killed you." I breathe, my voice wavering with horror, my eyes slowly moving from his wounded stomach up to his eyes watching me carefully.

"He wishes." Rick responds simply, his voice low and rumbling.

Wincing, I shake my head, anger flaring up at his cockiness in the current situation. Leaning forward, I push his button down completely off him to get a better look at the bruise that seems to wrap around his ribs.

I swear to God if he broke one-

"Oh-" Glenn stutters, getting shushed quickly by his wide-eyed wife.

Pausing, my hardened gaze flits up to the couple, studying them. Glenn's brown eyes stare in shock at Rick's back while Maggie's face is contorted with wariness.

"What." I demand harshly, my heartbeat increasing as I begin to imagine what other horrific thing has happened to Rick.

At the lack of their explanation, I push myself to my feet, determined to get a look. "Cass-" Maggie starts but I shake my head stubbornly as I round the bed.

Then, I freeze in vivid surprise as my gaze falls on his back, my stomach clenching.

My heartbeat stutters at the sight of the still-red scratch marks spanning the length of Rick's muscled back. My scratch marks.

Gulping nervously, I dart back to my old seat while ducking my head in an attempt to hide my burning face.

Well, shit.

"What?" Rick questions, his voice slightly raised in alarm as I focus back on his bruised abdomen and not the evidence of our mind-blowing sex from two nights ago.

"Uh... you got some um. Scratches on your back," Glenn reveals awkwardly, making Rick's body tense under my hands. I don't react, still focusing on Rick's ribs as I gently press them to check if they're broken.

"... Right." Rick breathes before clearing his throat. Feeling his gaze on me, I glance up at him once, before quickly looking away, thinking better of it. I'm still furious at him and if I let him look at me a second too long I don't think my anger will be able to last.

Clearing my throat awkwardly, I brush my hair off my shoulder as I turn to grab disinfectant and gauze for Rick's cuts. As I lean to the left, away from my three friends, Maggie gasps.

With the supplies in hand, I return back to my prior position, glancing at Maggie with confusion as she stares at me in astonishment.

"Oh. My. God." Maggie chants, her eyes darting between me and Rick, awe behind them.

I pause, my heart pounding as I stare back at her, hydrogen peroxide in one hand and sterile gauze in the other.

"Rick's the one who gave you that hickey you tried to hide the other day and you scratched him," Maggie reveals with amazement, making my eyes widen and my jaw drop.

How the hell-

My eyes dart back to meet Rick's once again, already looking back at me, fondness laced in the blue.

Shit.

Just that one look instantly cools my once fierce and blazing anger, replacing it quickly with fluttering nerves.

"Yeah." Rick confirms hoarsely, his mouth slightly pulling in what must be a painful smile. I can't help the mirroring smile that pulls across my face as I duck my head.

"Congrats, man!" Glenn enthuses, clapping Rick on the shoulder, making me look up in surprise. Rick grunts in pain, making Glenn apologize quickly through a laugh.

"Wait-" I begin, my eyebrows furrowed, glancing between the two men.

"He knew." Rick confirms for me with a slight nod. I blink in astonishment.

"You knew and didn't tell me?" Maggie demands, turning on her husband.

Glenn's mouth opens, looking caught before Rick steps in to help. "I asked him not to tell you, because you would have told Cass. She was with Spencer at the time," Rick explains, cringing as I dab one of his cuts. I'm not strong enough to stop the small smile growing on my face.

"If Maggie found that out and told me, I would have left Spencer in a heartbeat," I mutter with an amused smile as I focus on removing a few glass shards from Rick's forearm. 

There's a pause.

"Why didn't you tell her? She's your wife," Rick suddenly questions roughly, whirling as best he can to send a glare in Glenn's direction.

Glenn throws up his hands in defeat, making a wide smile break across my face.

"He was being a good friend Rick, lay off," I grin, watching as Rick turns back around. His blue eyes meet mine, twinkling with amusement.

"I'm happy for you two. It was about time y'all got together," Maggie beams warmly, making me turn to her, breaking out in a wide smile.

She's known how I've felt about Rick since the beginning and was there to make me feel better when I thought I just couldn't do it anymore.

"Thank you," I tell her warmly, only thanking her partly for what she just said, mostly thanking her for being the kindest and most supportive friend. She nods back once, and I can see in her eyes she understands. 

"Only took her two years," Rick mutters with a cheeky grin, making me turn to him, smacking his shoulder in annoyance. Rick laughs before cringing slightly at the pain.

"You deserve that," I inform him with raised eyebrows, shaking my head while fighting a grin of my own. Rick grins shamelessly back at me.

My smile fades as the door bursts open yet again, with Deanna and Jessie supporting a bloodied and unconscious Pete between them, a few concerned community members behind them. My heartbeat, which had only just calmed down, jumps once again.

Pete's face is a bloody mess of deep red and purple, already swelling aggressively. My jaw drops at the sight, frozen as I stare at him being dragged in. I thought Rick looked bad...

Pete has the same glass cuts scattered across his arms and face, which are steadily bleeding and dripping on the floor. He's entirely unconscious, his chest barely rising with each of his uneven and shallow breaths.

Holy shit.

( I just had to include this because COME ONNNN )